For reasons that aren’t clear to me, I’ve been considerably grouchy lately. It’s been going on long enough that I am angry at myself for being grouchy, which, of course, makes me grouchier. It’s a stupid cycle because being grouchy makes me do things that aren’t good for me. I make bad choices and then I feel ashamed or frustrated or angry. But I am too grouchy to break the cycle so I keep making them and getting more upset. Letting myself down.
It’s a vicious cycle and doesn’t serve me at all.
One of the exercises I’ve done in several of the classes I took last year was to think about where my peace is. What brings me peace? This is not to be confused with joy or happiness. It’s not about what makes me proud of myself. It’s not about what makes me laugh.
It’s just about peace.
And, for me, that often means calm and quiet and a deep sense of belonging in the world. Being 100% content. For others, it might mean something completely different.
So the first step is knowing what peace means for you. Then the next step is knowing what situations, people, times, things, places create that sense of peace for you.
I discovered that there are a few things that put me in the peaceful mindset. One of them is looking at the sea. There’s something about endless water that calms me down immediately. The same effect is created by Redwood trees. Something about the expansiveness of nature. I also feel peaceful in the night or early morning hours when my kids are sleeping and I don’t have anything I have to do. Walking with loud music (or classical music) blaring in my ears. Hugging my kids. Holding hands with my husband. Curling up with coffee or tea and a good book.
These are simple. But I don’t do them often enough.
I think I need to make a list of twenty or so things that make me feel peaceful. This way, when I am grouchy, I can look at my list and hope that one or two will be appealing and possible at that moment.
As for this week, tomorrow I get to do a few of the items on my list and I am already feeling grateful for the opportunity. I am hoping that at least one of them will work and I can finally shake off this grouchiness.
I would love to see your list — I get this way too.
Sorry you’ve been having a rough time. I think we all get like that from time to time. I like the idea of your list and about finding peace. Hope this weekend is a good one for you!! Savor every moment of it!