Contacting Me

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This is a Moment of Deep Joy and Gratitude for me

This is a layout I made for My Mind’s Eye.

I’ve been experimenting with making pages that are 2 6x12s where one side is all journaling. Here’s the journaling on this one:

My sweet boys,

As the two of you started growing up and learning new things, I had my own list of “what to teach the boys” which included items like reading, programming, art, writing, and math. I had many non-academic ideas, too. How to be kind, how to always say please and thank you. How to make sure you apologize if you hurt someone. To make sure you look them in the eye when apologizing. And how to say “I forgive you” when someone apologized to you. How to serve others and volunteer your time to the community.

My list was long and layered.

But I wasn’t worried about tackling it. I knew that, with time and patience, we’d make it through each item. I knew that I was capable of teaching those to you. I cared about the list and I was willing to take the time.

But then I had this other list.

The one full of the things I didn’t know how to do but wanted to make sure you learned.This list was much more challenging because, in this case, it wasn’t a matter of time or patience. Even if I had all the time in the world, I couldn’t tackle this list on my own. I didn’t know how to do these things.

While this list was layered and complicated, too, the very first item on the list was what most would consider easy: learn to ride a bike.

Learn to ride a bike.

As someone who never learned it, it was essential to me that my boys would learn to ride bikes at the typical ager most other kids learned. I wanted to make sure this was a part of their childhood experience.

Other people might think I was crazy to worry about this simple task so much, but, to me, teaching you how to ride a bike was a monumental task. How do you teach something to someone that you’ve never learned in the first place? Even though I had tried to learn a few times, I knew that there was no way I was going to master this in a way I needed to, so I could teach you two.

So I enlisted Daddy.

He’s an awesome biker and I told him that it was crucial to me that you boys learn. Daddy told me he’d take care of it.

And, take care of it, he did. He got you the bikes, the helmets, he spent the time and the effort. He ran alongside you for hours and held on and let go all at the right times. While I was vaguely aware it was progressing, it wasn’t until this weekend that I realized he had really come through all the way.

As I stepped outside to snap some photos of the two of you, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Nathaniel was able to ride all my himself, on the big boy bike with pedals and no training wheels. Yes, he still needed a bit of help occasionally, but he pretty much had it down. And David was a master-rider. Biking round and round without a care in the world.

I cannot tell you the joy that filled my heart. This is why I love Daddy so very much: he is the perfect complement to me and helps all my dreams come true. Thank you so much, Daddy, and I am so very proud of you my biking boys!

Remember This - Week 5

Here’s another one I made for My Mind’s Eye.

This page says: you are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

Ain’t that true?

I find that I often tend to think that there’s only one way forward. What I would like to remember instead is that there’s no one way. And that there’s no forward. Life is a winding path. What might look like “forward” might be a detour and what might look like a detour might be the real path to joy. Not that there’s only one path to joy. or success. or bliss. or whatever it is i am after that week.

Regardless of the notion of path or not, it is important for me to remember that I am free and not confined by anything except for the restrictions I am creating for myself. Being free and whole is a core desire for me. To feel whole, I need to remember to tear down the walls I create.

Here’s a photo that shows off all the shine in this page:

Remember This is a project for 2014. You can read more about it here.

Remember This - Week 4

This page says: What is it like for this person?

Yet another gem from Tara Brach.

There’s some journaling here too and it says:
Because we are conditioned to pull away from suffering, awakening a compassionate heart requires a sincere intention and a willingness to practice. It can be simple. As you move through your day and encounter different people, slow down enough to ask yourself a question. “What is life like for this person? What does this person most need?”

How is that for a reminder? I love this thought and I love how it’s serving me and others.

I am not a huge fan of how this page turned out; it’s messier than I’d like but I still love the sentiment and it’s something I need to remember. I want to remember.

In the end, that’s what matters most.

Remember This is a project for 2014. You can read more about it here.

Remember This - Week 3

This is another page I originally made for My Mind’s Eye. It says: the most important thing is to remember the most important thing.

Another quote from Tara Brach and one that I want to remember.

I actually wrote a longer blog post about this one a while back. When I was talking to my coach, I had this idea of a pie chart showing what I care most about if everything I care about could fit inside a circle, how big would each slice be?

So this is my visual. It’s a bit less like what I originally imagined but I still like it.

The sections I have are:

  • creating
  • health
  • read
  • friends
  • work
  • service
  • family

I think this one might be worth doing again at some point. I feel like the categories might be slightly different even now. OR maybe not.

Either way, for now, I still love this. It helps me keep things in perspective. It helps me remember to prioritize what matters most.

Remember This is a project for 2014. You can read more about it here.

Remember This - Week 2

It says: It did not happen to you or because of you. it just happened. remember it is real but not true.

This page was originally done for My Mind’s Eye. It uses mostly scrapbooking papers and paint.

This page came about as I was listening to a podcast with Tara Brach. She was talking about one time when she was working on her book, against a deadline, and the computer crashed before she was able to save the writing. She then talked about how we take it personally and think that something is happening to us. How we blow it all out of proportion and how we construct a big story around what happened and what it means.

I do this a lot.

I make it mean something about who I am. What I am worth. Or more like, not worth.

Since whole is one of my core desires this year, it’s really important to me to remember this one.

It just happened.

a few more shots:



Remember This is a project for 2014. You can read more about it here.

Bodrum 2013

Before this year ends, I wanted to make sure to share with you my Smash! album I made for our trip home this past summer. I bought the album with the intention to do it while I was there. I bought one for me and one for David. I figured we could journal and collect ephemera while there and do the photos when we got back.

Alas, I didn’t really touch mine. (David didn’t either.)

So when I got back, I decided to sit and do it all. And it took much much longer than I’d anticipated. As it dragged on, I got alarmed that the Smash book had so many more pages than I was going to be able to use. After months of being really sad about this, I was finally able to get over it by removing the last few pages that I knew would be blank. Ta-da! Now I feel good.

So here are the pages:

I bought the doodle one as it was the one I’d wanted to have all along.

i don’t know why this photo is so blue but nonetheless, i covered it with some washi tape to make me happy.

the first few pages is about los angeles where we spent two nights before flying home.

another page about la.

our tickets, about the trip, and the yummy hazelnuts they give on turkish airlines.

a lot of journaling about the first few days.

dad’s map of where we are and the places we’d been so far. and some photos.

my parents’ house is in the Gundogan bay.

more photos and a little bit about how we split our time.

my nephews and my favorite things about being with them.

doing the values exercise on my sister and staying up till the wee hours of the morning.

some of my favorite photos.

and ones of my sister, mom and me. i love these so much.

the boys playing in the sand. and waterguns.

just how much they played with my kids. my nephews are awesome.

mom and dad, who made all this possible.

more sand play.

a few final photos I love so much.

some wrappers from our food there. a little photo of bodrum.

and some luggage tags on the way home.

there you go. a little, lovely album to remind me of the magical times at home.

December Daily Twenty-Two through Twenty-Five

And here we are:

I didn’t want to overthink these pages so I cut my page of two 4x6s in half and put one of the boys playing chess.

and a movie on the back.

then a little card i got in the mail.

from big picture classes. so grateful for them.

then it’s christmas eve and the boys opening their one present. little rainbows for their room.

our family photo on christmas day.

love the shiny.

a card nathaniel made for us for Christmas. It’s a cheetah!

and a picture he drew on Christmas day, it’s hot lava and acid!

And our christmas breakfast table.

and finally tulips. I always end with tulips and my word for the next year.

and here we are. so grateful for this project.

December Daily 2013 - Day Twenty-One

Today is a bunch of events from the last day of school. David singing and also reading from his myth at school.

David’s friend surprised us with cookies on our door, so I added the note to our book, too:

and the program from David’s school.

and the inside.

there we go. See you tomorrow. Merry Christmas! :)

December Daily 2013 – Day Twenty

Today is really simple. I had these photos of the boys playing together that I just loved so much. I printed them and then added a bit of journaling and a strip of washi to the bottom of each.

there we go. See you tomorrow.

December Daily 2013 – Day Nineteen

A little behind with my book, just felt like doing other things instead. This day is about being in Nathaniel’s classroom and “cooking” together. We made English muffin faces.

And then a little card from Nathaniel’s big buddy at school.

and the inside.

there we go. See you tomorrow.

December Daily 2013 – Day Eighteen

Today is just about our weekly family photo and a few thoughts. Light wasn’t accommodating when i took these shots.

in the journaling pocket, I put a bunch of sequins just for fun. For now I put some tape on top but once I do the other side, I will stitch the top of this pocket.

there we go. See you tomorrow.

December Daily 2013 – Day Seventeen

Today is about the Google holiday party. A photo of us before we left.

some thoughts below and shimmery stuff:

to the right I added a little bag and taped our bands and a little leaf:

inside is the flip book we got at the event:

and the back:

there we go. See you tomorrow.