Time for change: back to my origins

Another day with little work done. My students took the PAM test today. A diagnostic test on math. The test is for me to see how much my fifth graders know. here are some glimpses I took while my students wrote: 1/2 + 1/3 = 2/5 (fractions) thankfully, we haven't covered fractions yet and when we do, I will cry if I still see this. One of my students upon reading about a question that talked about a parking meter, decided to draw a car and a parking meter. He spent 7 minutes of the 45-minute test drawing. We had ten teachers absent today. First snow day in New York City. I wonder if that means this will be a cold winter. I still haven't figured out what to do with my students talking in line. They are too close to each other. It's too enticing to talk, to push each other around; there are too few incentives to behave. Still overwhelmed and wondering what I was thinking when I decided to do this for a living.

Double-preps rock! Today was a better day. Not because I was able to teach better. Not because I didn't have kids throwing stuff in my room. But only because I didn't want to feel angry. I wanted to be happy today. And I didn't let anything change that decision. I guess my teacher's comments about controling what you can control stuck with me. I can control my mood. It is mine afterall, right?

People have been telling me that it would get easier after November. I must say that hasn't proven true for me. I've noticed a few patterns, though. If I give lined paper with a heading and a place for name, my students are more likely to write than if they were to write in their notebooks. Thinking isn't a talent you're born with; it's learned. Kids notice a lot more than adults give them credit for. There's always too much paper to grade and never enough time to grade it. My classroom will never look the way I want it to. One good day always precedes an awful day. Just when I lose hope, something inspiring happens and just when I get cocky, something humbling occurs. I can never think of a good assembly idea or a good bulletin board idea. I don't like either. I do like class trips, tho. Three weeks to Christmas break. If only I could stop the conversations in my head, I might be able to survive this. All my students individually chose blue as their favorite color, with the exception of one, who likes brown. Almost all would ban littering if they ruled the world. Girls feel sad if they have a fight with their best friend, while the boys feel mad.