Catalyst seventy-five is up: What’s the hardest decision you ever made?

Karen says: I’ve written about Teach For America before and I will be writing about it again. This is one of the few things in my life where I still need a lot of personal therapy. It’s unfinished for me. I haven’t made my peace with it yet. I am closer than I’ve been but not there yet.

I used a digital page for this because I don’t have any good photos from that time in my life. I used this photo of me and my students but blurred out their faces. Thank you for your patience with me as I work my way through this.

Journaling Reads: i wish i could say that i feel 100% confident it was the right thing to do. that i don’t regret a moment of it. yet, here we are, six years later, and i am still unsure. i am still sad and it is still by far the hardest decision i ever made.

i have never ever quit anything in my life.

ever.

i try hard to think things thoroughly before i commit to them, and once i do, i don’t walk away. i see it through. all the way. it’s not a competition. it’s not about looking good. it’s just about integrity. i believe in seeing things through.

so, while i know deep down that i had no other choice, i still regret quitting teach for america. in my thirty-four years, i have never made a decision that was harder.







More from beautiful Cayucos.



i don't like that purple bit on the back but too tired to photoshop it...

And here's one from the beach.



And of course a few of my wonderful boys. I love them all madly.







Hope your weekend was fantastic.







This, from beautiful Cayucos.



While walking around we saw these three little birds, waiting for their mom and then the mom showed up to give them some food. So magnificently cute.

And today's Nathaniel.



Happy Saturday.





Today's download is a tag. It looks like this:

Like last time, the gray is just to show you the white inked edges. The PNG doesn't have the gray part.

You can download it here: together tag download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.





Today's download is a png stamp. It looks like this:

And here's an example:



You can download it here: loved download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







David had a blast today climbing into the lawnmower box and closing it all the way. Amazing how much joy a cardboard box can bring.



And here's Nathaniel today. I also caught him staring at David's toy and wanted to snap a shot of that, too.



Curious little boy.

It's been an exceptionally rough few days for me. The lack of sleep is becoming a bit unbearable and add to that the fact that he's been taking his naps on me, and I am just a tired basket case with a hurting back.

We're leaving for vacation soon and maybe, just maybe, that will be the energy jolt I need.





Here's today's download:



The gray is there just to show you the white inked edges, the real png doesn't have the gray part.

Download here:cherish tag download.

The rules: You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







This is how my house looks lately. My kids playing together. I love it. I can't wait until Nathaniel's older and they really play together.



And the feet, the wonderful feet.



I slept very little last night. David decided he was going to have bad dreams. So he was up 6 times and each time David went to sleep, the baby woke up. And when they were both finally asleep, I had insomnia. Ugh...







I am working on a new Big Picture Scrapbooking class that will be on making simple layouts that focus on the photos and journaling. This is why I started scrapping. To save my memories. I don't want to lose sight of that. The rest is fun, too, but not if it gets in the way of preserving the memories. I think it's crucial that I remember that.





Here's today's download:



You can download it here:you are loved and cherished circle overlay.

There's a layout coming in my next post that uses it.

The rules: You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.





My mom tried to prepare me for David being jealous when the baby came. I told her that David wasn't that kind of kid, but she said that I'd never know. Most kids are jealous, she said. I was skeptical but I stayed quiet.

Now I can officially say she was wrong.



Here's David putting on a puppet show for Nathaniel, just to make sure he wasn't sad.



Nathaniel loved every minute of it.



And here's the puppet-master.

And then when he was done putting on the show. He read to his little brother.



Yep, he's the best brother ever. We are so blessed.







I adore this photo. Not even sure I can put into words why I do, but I do. Today was a "let's be lazy" day so I pretty much got nothing done. I did a few digital elements, mostly to learn my way around Photoshop. I am not sure if I will continue doing the downloads past August. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Not sure right now. I have learned a lot so I spose that's serving its purpose.

Here are a few more I snapped during tummy time:





This one I took last night as Jake was holding Nathaniel. Love this one, too. Love the feeling of nostalgia I get when I look at it.



And a one of the boy with the amazing eyes. He's been watching Aladdin over and over again for days now.



There are more photos from today coming in a separate post. Between the laziness, taking care of the kids, and eating, I've also been reading Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner. I am not sure how I feel about the book yet. I've liked her in the past so I am reading and waiting to see if I like it more.

Still feeling a bit out of sorts and pensive. But excited for our upcoming vacation.





I was reading Rebecca Cooper on write.click.scrapbook today and came across these words:

Embrace who you are as a scrapbooker...where your strengths lie, what you do best and don't be afraid to just stick with it! Let go of some of that pressure to create this way or that and I guarantee you'll LOVE the results!

And it struck a chord with me. This is so true. My favorite pages are often the ones where I've stayed true to myself. Where I've journaled. Where I didn't spend time worrying about others and what they might say. It's not that experimenting is bad, it's just that I don't need to be something I am not for other people. Especially since years and years from now, these people will not be in my life but my pages will and I will want to see the pages that are true to me.

So I am planning to make some changes. Do some soul searching and see what I like. Go back to the root of what attracted me to scrapping to begin with. Maybe even some experimenting for myself. Let's see what happens...

Btw, I was thinking today that so many people are so snotty about scrapbooking but what is scrapbooking: photography, story telling (journaling), and some beautiful art supplies. Who doesn't like those things? I don't understand why I have to be embarrassed that I scrap. It combines all the things I love to do. So I am proud of it.







I love those little feet.



And this smiling face. This is as David sings and dances around so entertain him.

I must say that while Nathaniel baby is considerably easier than David was (partly cause I've done all this before), it's still been a rough few months here. I haven't slept a full night in six months (I wasn't able to sleep towards the end of my pregnancy at all). Nathaniel doesn't like being put down at all. He nurses almost the whole time while he sleeps. If I try to unlatch he wakes up and cries really hard. If I put him down to grab some food or even to pee, he is really miserable and within minutes, he's sweating from anger.

I am certainly worrying less this time around and having a real maternity break has been wonderful but even with that, I find myself tired too often. And frustrated that I am unable to do what I want to do. My head is spinning with ideas that I have no time to execute. Even though I know that he will eventually sleep through the night and even take naps by himself, that time seems unfathomably far away. And I keep reading about other people's kids sleeping and I feel like I am messing it all up all over again.

But then he smiles. He is so incredibly cute. I hug him hard and I am thankful for each and every moment.





Here's today's download:



here's the download: cherish this moment tag download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







This week's question is: "Why did i do that?"

I thought about this one for a long time and then decided to do it about something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I seek validation from so many people. Oftentimes from sources where I'm unlikely to get it. And I don't trust myself or my abilities and this is something I need to get better at. Each time the validation doesn't come I find myself asking "why did i do that to myself?" because it hurts so deeply.

I did this tag to remind myself that I need to "trust me" and my ability to judge my art, my writing, my photography, my coding, etc. and not seek validation elsewhere.

I looked down my list and realized hand-stitching was one of the few things I hadn't done so I stamped a few hearts and hand-stitched them.



I am combining Emily Falconbridge's art journal questions with trying a new technique each week. You can see the full list: here.





Here's today's download:



You can download it here: always together postage

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







Two people I love more than anything.



And the other one I adore. He said today that when he's eight, he wants to change the baby's diapers. He is clowning around and dancing just so the baby smiles.



I actually got a bunch of big things done today so I am happy. And spent some time reading old old postings on my blog. quite interesting to see what changed.





Please take the time to say hi today. Tell me that you were here. Just this one time.





Here's today's download:



You can download it here: scalloped date download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







This week's question was: what 3 words would someone use to describe me?

I asked Jake and he said: intelligent, persistent, and genuine. So I used a heart tree for love, a clock for persistent, and a chinese coin for intelligence. I used distress ink on my background. I stamped with black ink. Added some perfect pearl-like shiny paint and restamped. I then used my pencils and gamsol to blend the red in and then added dimensional elements. A little bit of bling and the mini letters and that's it.



I am combining Emily Falconbridge's art journal questions with trying a new technique each week. You can see the full list: here. <







Catalyst seventy-four is up: Tell us about somethin you feel obligated to do (daily or regularly) why do you feel obligated?

my words:

I take photos. I take A LOT of photos. As far back as I can remember, I always took photos. I was the yearbook photographer and the yearbook editor. No matter where we were and what we did, I always took photos. And then I had a son. Whatever photos I took before seemed a tiny amount compared to anything I took in the years before. I have a photo for every day of my son’s first year. And then my second son was born just three months ago. I’m a second kid so I know how they don’t get as much attention and as many photographs. So I swore to myself that I would take a photo of my second son every single day for his first year as well. So far, so good. And he’s luckier because in the meantime I have become a much better photographer.







He's just so very stunning. I can't believe those eyes and lips and skin.

And here's the beautiful little brother, looking up at Daddy.



Here's David being a teenager cause he's not getting his way. He didn't want to sit outside at the restaurant so sulked for a good, long time. But then there was a wasp that followed us so we did end up going inside after all.



A wonderful, uneventful day. Hope your Sunday was good, too.





Today's download is a circle overlay. It looks like this:

And here's an example:



You can download it here: this is our life download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







David playing his Thomas game. He's really quite wonderful at entertaining himself, I am quite lucky.



Not feeling like writing today so I'll just post these and say more tomorrow.





Here's today's download:



here's the download: love tag download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







Tulips. I love tulips.



Good day today, though lately Nathaniel won't let me do anything at all. He wants to be held 24/7. Ugh.



He won't sit anywhere for more than 3 minute by himself. Just trying to remind myself that, this too, shall pass. We had a playdate today with our neighbor Susannah and her daughter Indiana. It was fun. Looking forward to a productive weekend.





Today's digital download is a brush. Here's what it looks like:



And here's an example:



here's the download: i am so thankful download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







Here's tonight's family dinner. We had mustard roasted snapper fish, vegetable risotto, green beans, and salad. I know it doesn't look awesome but I swear it tasted delicious.

Nathaniel is having rougher and rougher days. He does not like to be put down. He has a tough time falling asleep by himself anywhere and he wakes up really sad. I am not sure what to do so i am trying not to stress and just take it one day at a time.



But David is as nice as ever, he plays with his toys and tries to make the baby smile all day long. I am so blessed to have him.









Here's another PNG overlay for you. Here's an example of me using it:



You can download it here: life is good overlay.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.







Nathaniel's become a big fan of his fingers. And not so much a fan of the swing. I am finally making progress on the tasks I have at hand. And booked our vacation and everything. I have started this new schedule where I eat my frog first thing every morning. It's been working quite well on days where I do it.

And I've also been doing the wii fit lately. So is David:



Happy hump day!





Here's a simple download for today. A png that can be used as a "rubon." Here's an example:



As always you can click on the image or here's the download link: joy of my life.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.









My sister. My wonderful sister. She and David and Nathaniel and I chatted for 40 minutes over Skype. God bless technology. They blew kisses back and forth on the computer. I am so lucky to have my sister.

Here's another one of her and you can also see David:



And here's my daily Nathaniel:



He's not a fan of the swing lately so we end up having to distract him with David's toy that lights up. Otherwise he will only nap on my lap while nursing (as he's doing right now).







This is the little boy when I am not holding him. When he's tired. It's the saddest face to me and I cannot resist it for more thqn a second.







Here's a simple download for today. A journaling card that can be used digitally or printed out.



As always you can click on the image or here's the download link: journaling card 1.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.









I love how Nathaniel always touches his toes when he's sitting in this chair.



Here's my beautiful son, playing with legos. I love him to bits. Literally. Every little bit of him.



And, of course, the daily Nathaniel.

It's been a quiet unproductive weekend but I was relaxed and got ideas ready for the week. Here's to a productive week!







This week's prompt at creative therapy is: Tell us about a recent ‘dream come true’ it can be big or small as long as it was a dream for you.

here is my journaling:

I still remember the first time I read about Big Picture Scrapbooking. I was incredibly inspired by the idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it. A few months later, I was taking a course on accomplishing your dreams and on my list, I wrote down “submit a proposal to BPS.” I had no idea if they took proposals or what I would teach, but I didn’t care, I would find a way to make it happen. As it turns out, they did take proposals and I wrote mine up and sent it over to Stacy. A phone call and a few months later, my class was up and I finally got to accomplish my dream. And, honestly, it was better than I ever could have imagined. I loved writing the course. I loved teaching the course. I loved every bit of it and I am so lucky that I get to do it again and again.





Since I rarely make digital pages, I am not sure these templates are all that great, but I like experimenting so I will make them for a while. Here's a sneak of what the template looks like (you can click on it to download the template):

And here's a sample page I made with it. I kept it really simple so you could see the template's layers. And remember, I am not a digi scrapper so I am not that good. All the papers I used are free kits from 2peas.



here's the download: template 1. It's zipped and should work both with Photoshop CS series and Photoshop Elements.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.

As always, please let me know what you like and don't like. I am experimenting.







Here is the last one of my layouts with this month's A Million Memories kit.



Journaling Reads:

Little boy, today you are three months old. I can’t believe how quickly the last three months have passed. You have already grown so much. You weigh almost double what you did at birth. You are so strong and can hold your head up without any assistance. You can do tummy time like nobody’s business and you have just recently started grabbing things. Oh, and you laugh, you laugh so much and so magically that it makes everyone around you laugh.

Everyone says how much you look like me and I suppose they are right. You certainly look more like me than your brother does. You have my coloring, my face shape, and maybe even my eyes. But the one thing you have that I never did is the best attitude in the world. You are the most smiley baby I’ve ever met. It takes two seconds for you to break into a smile when someone looks at you. You meet their eyes and you smile so wide that the other person cannot resist smiling right back.

You’re not sleeping all that well just yet but I have hope for you. You’re already a better sleeper than your brother was at six months. I am hoping that, with time, that will just fall into place. Either way, before I know it, you’ll grow up and sleep in your big boy bed like your brother so I am going to enjoy these moments while they are still here and keep it all in perspective.

Happy three months, my son. I love you with all my heart.







Here is another one of my layouts with this month's A Million Memories kit.

Love this boy.







Here is another one of my layouts with this month's A Million Memories kit.

Love this boy.







Here is one of my layouts with this month's A Million Memories kit.

I'm working on Nathaniel's book and staying caught up.







Rabbit rabbit.

A bit bummed that we're already in August. I have about six more weeks of maternity left and then back to work. Considering how little sleep I get at night, I am hoping I can keep it together.

This is my new necklace. I had the Lisa Leonard one since the beginning of the year and when I saw this heart pendant from superhero designs I fell in love. I kept going to the site every day until I finally caved in and bought it. The back says "loved." I really love it.



Here's my daily Nathaniel. I can't believe he's past three months already. Time literally flies.



And here's David down on the floor with Nathaniel cause he's so nice to his brother and loves keeping him company.

Not much else to report from this quiet day. I spent some time doing the digital elements (see post below) and a bit of time reading. Otherwise, not much else I'm afraid. But I am trying to take it easy and enjoy the little free time I will have.

Happy August.



Digital Downloads - Cease to Amaze

I decided I wanted to play around so I can learn to make digital elements. Mostly for fun so I am going to offer these free on my site daily. I'll be experimenting so bear with me.

Here's the one for today. It's an overlay png. The photo is just an example of me using it. Click on the picture to download the png file,



You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you'd like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don't have to but I'd appreciate a link back if you do use them.