I normally don’t start with Nathaniel photos but for reasons I can’t really explain this photo took my breath away so it’s my photo of the day today. It was another wonderful day with soulful friends, endless chatter, blazing sunshine, and a mini adventure trip. Nathaniel has been the perfect trooper this whole time. He’s such a good little baby and really not a complainer in any way. It’s pure joy to have him in my life.
Well except from 12am-2am last night where he thought it would be more fun to hang out with me than to sleep. But other than that, he’s been the best baby ever.
Note to Self:
I’ve been thinking about kindness a lot lately. Being kindred spirits. Feeling a sense of belonging. Finding your place in the world. Finding your people. I wonder a lot about the importance, relevance, necessity of all that. About having the guts to put yourself out there. Whether it’s to find a partner or a friend. And how much kindness matters. How much authenticity matters. It’s rare to find authentic people these days. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s even possible. And then I wonder if that’s my insecurity taking over. Anyhow. Not sure where this is coming from and what my point is. But these are the thoughts in my head today.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting to stay in your pajamas with good friends and chatting for hours on end.
2. Art. I am grateful for art. For the beauty it adds into the world. For how happy it makes me.
3. I am grateful for a few moments of quiet so I can update here and sit back and think about the two full days I’ve had a bit. Sometimes it’s hard to think when it’s all happening.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
(Jake’s been emailing these to me while I’m away. It’s my favorite email.)
1.Watching scooby doo on TV
2. Playing t-ball in the backyard
I am in this beautiful piece of heaven of a place. Capitola, Ca. With a set of wonderful women. So just a few words today.
Here’s today’s Nathaniel:
Internet here is really really blotchy. So I am going to try to keep up but see if I can.
Note to Self:
I must say there was many worries in my mind for this weekend but there’s nothing like being around other wonderful people. people you like and it’s really good for your soul.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Beautiful beautiful weather… love it.
2. I am grateful that Nathaniel has the best doctor. He woke up with a fever of 102 again this morning and the doctor took us immediately. (he still has an ear infection 🙁 )
3. Grateful for good friends today 🙂
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. finding money at school
2. looking at the star wars movies in mommy’s condo
Last time we went on vacation, this is what it looked like. I hope that won’t be the case for tomorrow’s vacation. (chances are low.)
Nathaniel loves hanging out at David’s table. It’s his favorite place.
David doesn’t yell at him but he’s pretty good at ignoring him.
Still congested and frustrated and annoyed honestly.
Note to Self:
It’s amazing to me that I can go from being extremely happy to really sad in moments. For no reason even. I can read into a few words in an email and have them mean wildly different things than the sender intended and have that destroy my mood, my day, my feelings about a situation. How terribly stupid is that? I wonder what the trick is to avoid feeling like this? Is there a way I can stop myself before I dive into the despair and self-pity?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that my husband was able to take time away and I can go on this trip tomorrow. We both work pretty hard so it’s good to know that we can take time when needed.
2. I am grateful for a teeth-cleaning today. It had been way too long.
3. Grateful for a low-key week and I have two TV shows I’m looking forward to watching tonight.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing house at school (he got to be the Daddy. It’s my game, he said, I’m always Daddy.)
2. Watching Daddy mow the lawn. It was fun for me too! 🙂
Catalyst One Hundred and Five is: Tell a random childhood memory
Thoughts:
My sister and I fought pretty much all the time as kids. One day, I got really mad at her and banged her door on my way out. Within seconds, I heard this really loud crashing sound and when I opened the door, I saw that her window had broken. Since we were both much more afraid of our mom finding out than anything else, we immediately forgot about our fight and collaborated on a solution. With the help of our dad, the window was replaced without a trace of what happened, before my mom came home.
I am running out of photos, I need to go take some. I haven’t taken time to do that in a while.
Nathaniel is eating a lot of food by himself lately. All sorts of fruits, cheese, bread, etc. and it’s good for me cause I can do things while he eats and he can pace himself as he likes but it’s also so much fun to watch him pick things up and stick them in his mouth and smack his lips. Just a joy.
David reunited with his ipod today and he’s overjoyed. He’d forgotten about it and I’d kept it away for a while. But I don’t mind him watching movies. Much better than TV since there are no commercials.
And here’s one of Nathaniel crawling. It’s blurry, I know but I love that his little foot is in there.
I am still having an allergy attack and my nose and eyes are all red and dripping and it’s no fun. But the medication to fix it also dries up my milk so I am stuck this way until it goes away. I pray that it’s soon.
Another layout done today, that makes 5 in 4 days, not so bad. I then did a lot of work, too. I am really excited that I am getting stuff done and going through my todo list. It’s nice to cross things off. There are a few insistent ones sitting there but I plan to finish them before the week’s out, too. Then I can start planning for May.
Note to Self:
I’ve been thinking a lot about being unreliable lately. Over the years, it’s become a trait that irritates me more and more. I feel like if you say you should do something then you should do it. On most occasions, no one is forcing you to commit to something so it’s often by will. And I know life gets in the way sometimes. I respect that but most often it’s cause some people have no integrity and don’t value their word or promise. I don’t want to be a person like that. To anyone. I really want to be careful what I commit to and I want to make sure I can actually do what I say I will, when I say I will. Is that possible all the time? I want to take a good look at my life and see what I promise and see if I can deliver it without pain and agony. I want to be able to have my word mean something. I also want to surround myself with others who practice the same thing.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting my layouts done. I am grateful for the joy they give me and for the sense of accomplishment I’m getting from doing them.
2. I put together an art journal/journal of sorts last night. I used my trees from last week and some papers from a kit I’d bought from Rebecca Sower. I am planning to take it with me on my trip and I am grateful for the possibilities it’s opening in me now. Maybe it’s the first art journal I can actually use.
3. I am grateful for competent customer support. I have the luxury of going through business tech support for some of my devices and it’s amazing what a difference it makes. Grateful for speedy service and kind people who take the time to resolve my problems.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Getting to watch movies in his ipod (surprise, surprise!)
2. Playing superheroes at school (he was Batman again. I’m always Batman, he says)
Beware the ides of March.
I always talk about how David is so nice to Nathaniel and he really is. Nathaniel loves playing with this push-toy and he often pushes until he gets stuck so David was following him around today to help him turn around so he can keep going.
Isn’t he marvelous?
And I love watching Nathaniel play. David has always been a fantastic self-player. And Nathaniel is growing to be one too and it’s so much fun to watch.
I woke up with a sore throat today and didn’t think I was going to end up doing my layout but within 20 minutes or so, I was more awake and did sit down to do my layout. Four so far this week. Not bad. Then I took David to school and did a lot of work while Nathaniel was napping. So all in all the day is a success but I am just so tired from being sick that I can’t dwell in its joy.
Note to Self:
I often wonder if getting sick is your body’s way of telling you to slow down. What would happen if instead of fighting it, I just lay in bed (or on the couch) and really did nothing. Rested, watched TV, read, or whatever low energy thing I can think of. Would it go away faster? And isn’t it better because this way I can get better and go to full productivity faster? I don’t know. I know it’s really hard for me to completely slow down. It’s not in my system but I do wonder if my body is trying to tell me something.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting my layout done even though I really really didn’t think I was going to.
2. I am grateful for a considerably lighter to-do list this week. I feel like it gives me space and time to think of new endeavors and projects.
3. I am really grateful for working from home especially on days like this when I feel so under the weather and can spend the day in my PJs and still get work done.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Snack time at school. (crackers and grapes)
2. Story time with Mommy (we read The Snow Bear)
I hadn’t had a tulip for a week. So here we are.
My little boy is still pretty clingy. But he does seem to be happier, thankfully.
Nathaniel got sent a book from Cbr (the bone marrow place) for his first birthday (which is coming up, amazingly) and David was trying to read it to him but he wasn’t paying any attention.
He did finally come by for a few seconds, but didn’t stay for the whole story.
And then he played with his walking toy.
And since some of you asked, I got Jake to grab some photos of me and David. They are not clear but I still like them.
And Nathaniel snuck in one, too.
Great day. I really finished all my tasks this weekend, I am flabbergasted.
Note to Self:
It’s amazing how tasks can have an effect on each other. I had a bunch of things I wanted to do this weekend. none of them were urgent and a few were things I really wanted to do but wasn’t really excited about. I did one of those big ones on Friday night which then gave me the energy to keep going and next thing I knew, I literally did all the items on my list. I know that the one task on Friday really caused all the others. This is the whole point of “eating the frog” but it’s amazing to see it in action. I think there’s something magical about starting your day with something for you (for example art for me) and then doing something that needed to get done that you’ve been putting off. The rest of the day is just icing in the cake. I’m going to try to do that this week and see if I can. Start my day with a layout and then when David’s in school and Nathaniel is napping, do my most important and burdensome task. Let’s see what that does…
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. An upcoming trip to Santa Cruz. I am filled with mixed feelings but also joyful anticipation.
2. Excited that I scrapbooked two days in a row just for myself. Grateful that I can.
3. Grateful for sunshine. It’s nice and sunny in beautiful California right now and I am so happy when it’s warm and sunny.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Craft time with Mommy. (I love hearing that!!)
2. Reading with Mommy and Nathaniel. (love this too!)
Today there are a lot of photos of me and the little boy. Feel free to skip 🙂
This is shaping to be one of those weekends where I didn’t think I would get to do my todo list items and yet I get them all done. Unpredictably. I processed my client shoot from last weekend. I did two layouts. I did a crafting project with David. I finished my book. I got a pedicure and a brow wax. I am even processing David’s birthday movie and photos. Quite surreal.
I asked Jake to take a bunch of photos of Nathaniel and me today:
And I snapped one of him.
And we’ve made a new rule that David can only play the Wii one day of the week. He chose Saturday. So here he is focusing.
I swear he doesn’t look that sickly in real life.
After I came back from my pedicure, Jake snapped a few more photos of us:
Photos of me with any of my boys is rare and special to me.
Note to Self:
I am doing really well with this “a project daily for a week” process I started. It’s making me create more every day and I love the feeling of it. I was reading this on Jen Lee’s blog today: ” I remember that someone once told me that balance isn’t doing it all, all the time, but it is often doing one thing for a time, then doing another and creating balance in this turn-taking fashion over the course of a month or a season or a year.” and I realized that’s exactly how I feel. I love the process of focusing on one thing for a while and then shifting gears. My creativity and interest goes in ebbs and flows and I love following it around. Since February, I’ve done:
– Feb 6 – 13: a week of heart stitching/sewing
– Feb 15 – 21: a week in the life project – daily scrapping of our day
– Feb 22 – 28: daily creative therapy catalysts
– March 1 – 7: daily stitching (for the sampler I posted today)
– March 8 – 14: the 5 in 5 challenge (using one concept – trees – with 5 mediums)
I never intended to do this and it wasn’t planned but I am loving it and I plan to continue. So this week, I am going to do a layout a day. I started on Saturday cause I am leaving town on Thursday and don’t think I will be able to do it where I’m going (I am not one of those “away from home” scrappers. I like to have all my things with me.) I already did two layouts today and it felt great. I have all my photos printed and I will be hand journaling. Sometimes I long for the days when I didn’t know about all the scrapbooking sites and books where I learned “how” to scrapbook. I wish I could go back to the days where I didn’t worry about design or products so much and really focused on telling my story, capturing the moments. In the end, that’s all that matters and I need to keep that in mind so much more often. So here’s to hoping this week can be about capturing that spirit.
I think I will sit and plan the next few weeks too. I’m thinking daily copics, daily drawing, daily journaling just to name a few. I also want to incorporate some of the recurring events into my week. Like actually sit and do a creative therapy and a layout each week. I work better with schedules, time constraints, and creative constraints. So I think I’d like to find some way to incorporate that in my week. Let’s see what I can come up with…
If you have ideas for weekly creative ventures, please do let me know. I’m up for pretty much anything.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. The two layouts I made today were for no one else but me. no assignment. no required products. nice journaling but nothing too long or even too deep. just genuine. for me. for nathaniel. i loved doing them. i have enough product to last two lifetimes and i am grateful that i got to use some of it.
2. I am grateful that I got to take some time to myself and get a pedicure. It’s as much about the time alone as it is about the pedicure itself.
3. I am grateful for how nice, kind, and easygoing my husband is. It’s a rare quality and one I appreciate deeply.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing the Wii! (of course)
2. Buying his lego toy (Jake’s brother got David a lego giftcard for xmas. we are now getting around to buying it.)
3. Learning to wash his own body during bath time.
He had three today.
It’s Friday and I am totally wiped. Five days of getting up at 5am will eventually get to you. I am really hoping that Nathaniel decides to sleep until morning soon. Please tell me it’s coming soon…
He spent most of the day glued to me as I wavered between tasks, accomplishing not much. Oh well, at least it’s now the weekend. And there’s much to be done, of course.
Note to Self:
I have a long todo list. And yet I don’t want to do any of the items on there. I want to curl up with my book and let myself off the hook at least for tonight. This always makes me feel guilty. But I have to remind myself that the strong urge to be let off the hook is a sign that I need some down time and I need to listen to it. Down time is important. Rest is how you recover the energy you need. So tonight I will rest and I can tackle the todo list tomorrow.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that bedtime with my kids is not painful. We eat, we take a bath, we read stories, we brush teeth, we nurse, we look out the window and laugh a bit and then everyone goes to bed. No whining, no complaining. It’s a miracle.
2. I am grateful that I am almost caught up in Nathaniel’s baby book. A few more layouts and I’ll be all there. It’s quite amazing.
3. I am grateful that it’s a quiet weekend with no commitments. I cherish being at home more than anything else.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing superheroes with his friends. David was Batman. Jace was robin. Joseph was superman and Noa was supergirl.
2. David said he’s so grateful for all of his friends at school.
Today was a long and stressful day. One of those days where things go wrong which causes the panic that then makes other things go wrong and it multiplies from there. Nathaniel woke up at 4 and would not go back to sleep. When I finally gave up and nursed him, he sat up and started giggling and wanting to play. Which made me mad and I put him back in his bed and passed out. Then when we dropped off David, Nathaniel wound’t take his morning nap. After complaining for a long time, he slept 25 minutes before it was time to get David which meant I had to wake him up. And then he would not take his afternoon nap and I was in the middle of the release craziness and he wouldn’t eat and then he wouldn’t sleep and I just was going a bit insane the whole day.
But in the end, it all worked out of course. Release went out. He slept, even if for 30 minutes. The kids took their bath where they hugged and smiled and played.
And they all went to bed and Jake and I got some quiet time and I got to play with my copics and do my trees. My arm is still hurting a lot and I am very tired. I think tonight will be a reading night. Haven’t done that in too long.
Note to Self:
I really need to focus on not letting the panic build. Sometimes I can literally feel the stress physically and it only does damage and causes more stress and causes more things to go wrong. Causes me to make stupid decisions which cause the whole thing to get worse. I need to take a moment, walk away, take a breath and come back calmer and more collected. I really need to work on this. For my sanity more than anything.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I was really at my wit’s end when Jake came home tonight and he just helped me and supported me all the way and thanks to him I now feel back to my calm and collected self. So thankful for him.
2. I am almost done with my art challenge and I love how my journal is turning out. I need another idea so I can keep the journal going. I am thankful for the internet for the inspiration and ideas.
3. I got a lot of support from another work mate today. I am thankful to work at a place full of kind, supportive people. I can never say this enough. People are what make a job suck or rock.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. School. He said he’s grateful for all of school.
2. Bath time!
I finally finished my stitching sampler and I love how it turned out. More on this on Saturday.
I am really enjoying doing this art challenge. In the last three days, I’ve played with fabric, pastels, stitching, copic markers, felt, beads, and wires. And I’m not even done yet. It’s awesome to get to have so much fun. Exactly what I was hoping for, for my journal. I am going to continue working on the journal for a few more weeks. Maybe I’ll do it two nights a week or something so it’s not so consuming. Or maybe I will just let it consume me.
Nathaniel is still being really clingy and quite grouchy about what he eats. I am hoping it’s recovery and antibiotics related and that it will go away. I just hate seeing him sad and frustrated so much. Not that I don’t get many many smiles, too.
At some point today, I had to put him down next to David who was playing and they just sat there next to each other and played and then they looked at each other and smiled and I just felt so grateful for my life all over again. I feel that way every night in the bath, too. And then Nathaniel just discovered that he can lift the curtains in his room and see light and look out the window and he loves doing that at bedtime now. So he and David looked out the window for a while together, too. I love watching them be together. So. much.
Note to Self:
Today was my friend Levent’s birthday. (I mentioned him in a recent catalyst. He was the first person I loved and he’s still one of my favorite people in the world.) I called him first thing in the morning and we talked for a long time. It had been quite a while since we chatted and it was so great to talk to him. There’s something magical about old friends. About the ease with which you talk and the comfort you feel about not ever having to be something you’re not. There’s a small chance I might see him in a month and the possibility fills me with joy.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. My chat with Levent. It started my day on such a great mood.
2. Some happy mail today. DMC floss and Copic markers. Yey!
3. Oh and I bought a piece of art today. If you have read my blog for more than a day, you know that I’m a big fan of Rebecca Sower and I’ve been staking her etsy store for a while now and when I saw this piece, I had to have it. I actually have that book and saw it in there first. I don’t know if it’s the little boys or the cream color that I love so much but I can’t wait to get it. I am grateful for inspiring, beautiful art.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Snack time at school (bagels and cuties – which is what he calls tangerines.)
2. Playing with Jakie’s speedracer. (it was share day today where kids are allowed to bring a toy to share.)
Catalyst One Hundred and Four is: What advice do you have for other couples?
Thoughts:
I am a firm believer that if you want to be with some one and have a solid, growing relationship it’s best not to play any games. You need to be straightforward and be your true self. Only then can you see if this person is a good fit for you, for who you really are. I’ve always found games to be deceiving, childish and detrimental to the health of the relationship. So that’s my biggest advice: Be yourself.
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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