There are 100 days left in 2021. Depending on who you are and how you filter life, this might feel exciting that we still get 100 more days or alarming that we only have 100 left.
I’m in neither camp today. These days I am leaning into “it is what it is” attitude and trying not make a bigger meaning around things.
I’ve been really tired lately and have a lot of headaches so I’ve been giving myself grace with what I can get done. Some things are behind and others are doing ok. I’m regressing and I am progressing and I am also standing still in some areas.
Back in 1996, I was living in NYC and working during the day and taking classes at night I loved having a variety of options to pick from and tried to take as many as I could.
One of the classes I took was American Sign Language. I wanted to learn ASL for years but it wasn’t offered in my college so I was excited to find it in NY. After a few years, I volunteered at the NY Society for the Deaf which was my only way to practice.
After I quit my job on Wall Street and became a teacher, I had to quit that volunteer job and I didn’t get to practice again for years.
About ten-twelve years ago, I was working at a scrapbooking convention and a customer came and she was deaf and I pulled out some of my rusty ASL and was able to help her.
And then nothing again.
Tonight, for the first time since then, we went climbing with a deaf climber and I was able to practice once more. I am super super rusty but we managed to communicate nonetheless. It felt so wonderful to get to do it again after so many years.
As the year winds down, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my goals will be for next year. As I was thinking about that, I realized that we are about to walk into a season of our lives where there will be big milestones.
My older son so be applying to college in the next calendar year, my younger son will finish middle school and soon after transition to high school. I can’t believe that in one year, my son will be the age I was when I left Turkey. That was a big turning point in my life.
As we walk into this stage, I have been thinking a lot about the kid of parent I want to be in this stage and the way I can support them best.
I think all the major relationships in my life shift over time. My relationship with my husband, my parents, my kids, my good friends. Who I am changes, where our relationship is changes and who they are changes too. So many of these dynamics change and it helps me to take a step back and be intentional about how I show up to them.
Weekly Intention: This is the first week this month that I don’t have a day off. my intention this week is to slowly start getting into a new routine, I really need it.
This month’s intention is:Yes to Possibilities: Time to root and surrender. This is a hard month for you. Transitions are rough. But you also turn 47. It’s magical to get to have another year. Remember the growth mindset. Let go of your preconceived ideas and embrace the possibilities. working on this so hard.
One way I will leap this week: slowly start a new routine.
One boundary I will set this week: i will reclaim what i need of my life so i can choose what i need to get through September.
One area where I will go deeper this week: look into my word for 2022 a bit more.
What do I need to sit with this week? thinking about life i think 🙂
I am looking forward to: seeing my friend on Friday.
Focus onCore Desired Feelings (lighter, kinder, enough, magic, wild): still a little heavier than i’d like to be, we’ll see if i can release
This week’s challenges: a long week with work.
Top Goals:
Work: promo committees, finish September deliverable, think of more conversations, remember what matters most.
Personal: see E, more journaling and art, find another class, exercise.
Family: climb with J, get david to do class+ACT, find something for N, help the kids with school and J with work
This week, I want to remember: The days are passing and they are mine to make my own.
Almost as soon as a weekend starts, I worry about it being over. I find that I am needing the downtime, the quiet time and the reset more than usual lately.
I am working to slow down my mental chatter and create space daily so that so much doesn’t ride on the weekend. I am wanting to slow down time in general.
The Best Part of this Week: The best part of this week was celebrating my birthday with a lovely day in the city.
I am grateful for: Nathaniel’s negative covid test.
This week, I exercised: I’ve still been exercising less lately but i am trying to give myself grace about it.
This week, I said yes to: taking Monday off.
I said no to: pushing working through the weekend.
I honored my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): I am definitely on a downswing but working on it.
Top Goals Review:
Work: totally done with my perf, moved slightly forward on September deliverables, did not think of more conversations, tried remember what matters most.
Personal: celebrated birthday, did more journaling and art, did not find another class, exercised.
Family: climbed with J, did david to do ACT but not class, did not find something for N, helped the kids with school and J with work
This week, I want to remember: that we are all safe and i am grateful
My mood this week was: good but also low.
I am proud of: helping my kids.
I release: the frustration around having so much to do and not enough time to do it all.
Here’s what I learned this week:i still have a ways to go on learning to release what i need to.
Fantastically well-written and researched story of a woman who is forced to become the prioress of an impoverished abbey. This fierce woman and the way she turns that abbey around is a force to reckon with. Well done.
I had so many conflicting feelings about this book. It took me a long time to get into it and to warm up to the characters. I loved that they were all flawed and real but that also meant that they got on my nerves and I can’t say that I ended up liking them even by the end of the book. But they grew on me. And they were real so I found myself invested in their story.
I also usually hate books where the characters have intellectual conversations where it’s clear that the author is using them as a ploy to lecture the reader. It drives me mad and there was much of it in this book. So much of it.
In the end though, when I finished it, it felt like a good meal and I appreciated that I read it. And I did think about it long after.
I was really looking forward to reading this and it did not disappoint. I much prefer slow-burn and character-driven mystery novels and this was exactly that. there are still some surprises around corners but nothing that would be impossible to guess. i loved the characters and setting and really found myself immersed in the story. fantastic read.
I find that my life is a recurring series of feeling like things are smooth and that I am doing what matters most to me and feeling like I am completely off the rails. I alternate between the two and I can’t even tell when I am about to fall off.
The last few weeks have been very chaotic and I am way off my routine and not eating well, not moving enough, not sleeping enough. Not getting enough done.
And I’m a bit sick of it.
Here’s to hoping I can go back on the other cycle soon!
Yes to giving myself grace and yes to getting back on track!
This past week was a full week for us so today I am grateful for the weekend and for hopefully getting a bit of downtime.
This coming week is the first week since school started that we will have no transitions or birthdays. I am hoping that can mean we can slowly start establishing a new routine.
