Reflecting – July

And here we are, we made it to the end of July. With that, comes the end of the break I’ve been taking from work for the last three months. I am so grateful for this time I’ve had and also grateful for how I spent it.

This months intention was to Invite Joy: Create some adventure. Go places. Do things. Hug your people. Take chances. 

I didn’t actually go anywhere or do much. I did hug my people. I read a lot. I painted a lot. I loved spending my time this way.

Here are some goals I had for July:

  • continue to draw, sketch, paint or do some artistic endeavor as often as I can – done and done
  • try to eat fresh food – i’d say this is mostly done too
  • do most of of HCOTF – i did most of it
  • support N with his camps + classes – i did this though it fell apart a bit
  • support D with essays + driving – did this too, as much as he wanted
  • Journal daily – did this!
  • Read a lot – so much
  • Support J – did this too, to the best of my ability
  • continue medication – done
  • Continue documenting the joy – done
  • Love my people – love them so very much
  • Scrap and OLW – i did both of these
  • Go outdoors, sit outside, be in the sunshine – i didn’t sit outside as much as before, but it’s been ok
  • dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each. ( still haven’t done this ) – still haven’t done this, not sure what that means
  • remember that it’s all bonus – i have, i’ve remembered this
  • Be ok with not getting much done, rest. – i’ve also rested so very much
  • be in the present moment, don’t count down the days – i would say i’ve also done a reasonably decent job of this
  • Also I got shots for my hip pain. I got the CPAP machine.

I was originally not supposed to have all of July off but my doctor recommended that I do and I am so grateful that she did. It was the right call. I finally feel fully wound down, and optimistic and looking forward to integrating work into my life again. Here’s hoping it’s a positive experience.

I will continue to try take it each one day at a time and look for the joy again and again. Because I know that I already have all I need and want. Everything else is bonus.

I’m ready for you August.

Reflecting – June

June was supposed to be the major month I planned to rest before going back to work early July. It was mostly restful but started with a lot of appointments I hadn’t planned on to ensure things were moving forward.

This months intention was to Practice Joy: Breathe in the fresh air. Summer is here. Smell the water. Go outside. Sit in the sunshine. One more school year is over. Celebrate your life. 

I’ve been resting and enjoying the summer. It’s been pretty hot here so I haven’t enjoyed the fresh air as much as I would have liked to. I will spend more time on that in July. Definitely didn’t get to go to the water either. It was a good month.

Here are some goals I had for June:

  • I continued to paint daily, I did a lot of this and feel pretty proud of my progress
  • I ate a salad almost every day
  • did almost all of HCOTF
  • supported the kids with all of the end of year activities
  • Read a lot – i read over 50 books
  • Supported J
  • took Liz’s 5 things class and several skill share classes
  • continued medication
  • helping D and N with their summer journeys
  • journaled but not until the very end of the month
  • Did a week in the life!
  • Continued documenting the joy
  • Loved my people
  • Scrapped and did OLW
  • I did go outdoors and sit outside in the sunshine but not as much as i could have
  • Did not dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each.
  • Did not figure out linode stuff for email.
  • Have been working on a daily practice of giving yourself grace
  • Have been ok with not getting much done, rest.
  • Have been trying to be in the present moment, and not count down the days

June was much better than May, still started a bit more hectic than I would have liked but by the end of the month I finally started to feel like I was really starting to slow down. I feel spacious and more rested.

I will continue to try take it each one day at a time and look for the joy again and again. Because I know that I already have all I need and want. Everything else is bonus.

Here’s to hoping July is full of joy.

Reflecting – May

May was a busy month with a lot of commitments, a lot of social time and a lot of rushing around. By the end of the month, I felt really burned out and needed large amounts of quiet time. I took what I needed to ensure I could rebuild my energy.

This months intention was to Deep Joys: Take some time. Be still. Listen to the whispers of your soul. Hug your people. Dig deep and see what brings you deep joy.

I definitely hugged my people and spent a bunch of time being still. I had a few days of complete alone time though I didn’t spend a lot of time digging deep. But that’s ok. I spent time with my parents. I went to Boston and I did a lot of painting.

Here are some goals I had for May:

  • continue to draw daily – finish out the 100-day project – Done
  • Go back to nourish plans/list – or at least make progress – didn’t really do this I’d say
  • do most of of HCOTF – also did a poor job with this in May, there was too much going on
  • Jeff’s graduation in Boston – did this
  • Parents here – spent a lot of time with my parents
  • Support J – spent a lot of time on this, too.
  • celebrate Nathaniel’s birthday party – yep was lovely.
  • connect with at least 6 friends – connected with a lot of people in May
  • help D and N – done
  • journal – daily!
  • Continue documenting the joy – daily too!
  • Love my people – loved my people so so hard.
  • read more, still. – i really upped my reading game in may
  • Scrap and OLW – i did some of this but not a lot tbh
  • Go climbing – here, too, some but not a lot lot.
  • dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each. – didn’t do this one.
  • figure out linode and cloud stuff for email. – i did the cloud stuff but not linode
  • take care of karenika email – done
  • find a class to take – done, i took a may challenge and signed up for 5 things.
  • work on a daily practice of giving yourself grace – likely would get a B- on this one but working on it.
  • Be ok with not getting much done, rest. – i tried to do this especially at the end of the month.

May was relatively hard for me, too. I spent a lot of time with my parents, traveled to Boston, and then socialized a lot. I was very tired and worn out about two thirds of the way and gave myself a lot of grace. It was supposed to be one of my two off months and I think it was more hectic than I would have liked. But I took some hard steps. I started taking care of myself. Doing what’s needed and I am proud of myself. I am letting myself rest.

I will continue to try take it each one day at a time and look for the joy again and again. Because I know that joy is possible in each and every moment.

Here’s to hoping June is full of joy.

Reflecting – April

April was a long, long month. Mostly because I had so many things I wanted/needed to get done during April that I spent most of it really anxious about whether everything would fall in place seamlessly or not. I am grateful that it mostly did. And yet it was still a really tough month for me.

This months intention was to take Joyful Leap: Time to go on adventures. See some colleges. Have deep conversations. See possibilities.

i took some leaps. We did go see colleges, we had some lovely conversations with friends. I went to see one of my nephews graduate. and I saw my parents after 3+ years. I tried to see possibilities. I did the best I could with where I was.

Here are some goals I had for April:

  • continue to draw daily – did this. going strong.
  • Go back to nourish plans/list – or at least make progress – not great on this.
  • do most of of HCOTF – i did almost none of it this month, it was a total bust
  • college tours – Pgh, Bos, Chi – did this
  • Aksel’s graduation in Michigan – did this
  • Support J – did this
  • celebrate Nathaniel’s birthday – did this
  • go back to the office – did this
  • mail the taxes – did this
  • take care of the work situation – did this too
  • take a class – took Liz’s Tell It class, it was profoundly impactful
  • file leave – did this
  • help D and N – did this
  • journal – journaled a lot as part of the tell it class
  • Continue documenting the joy – did this too
  • Connect with friends at least 2 times, ideally 4 – well we stayed with Eric and Samantha, I chatted with Audrey and then also with Jessica and briefly with Ashlie even. We also saw J’s friends Cathy and Max. and then I went to graduation and saw a lot of family. And I saw Leslie. I feel like I did this one.
  • Love my people – I’ve loved my people so hard.
  • read more, still. – I did read this month but still not as much as usual
  • Scrap and OLW – did neither of these this month to be honest.
  • Go climbing – did this but considerably less than usual likely around 1.5x a week.
  • dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each. – didn’t really do this one, i will have to do it in May
  • figure out linode and cloud stuff for email. – tried to do this but really couldn’t do it 🙁
  • take care of karenika email – did this the first day of May
  • try to stay sane – jury is out on this one.

I was brave for all of April. I did a lot of things that are hard for me. A lot of travel, a lot of socializing, a lot of advocating for my people, seeing a lot of family all around. Figuring out things at work, getting a new job, giving notice, taking leave. All of these were really hard.

I took a new job after eight years at this job. Even though it’s the same company, it was still really tough. I decided to take a leave which was also incredibly hard. I haven’t taken time off in a serious way since I started working in 1996. All these were big steps.

I got on the airplane for the first time since February 2020. In fact, I got on 7 planes in April. I filed and paid my taxes. I toured 6 colleges. I said a million goodbyes. I showed up for my people again and again. I am proud of all I did. It might be not much for someone else but it was a lot for me.

May will continue to be busy for the first half. My family will be here and then I have one more trip east. After that I hope that things will quiet down and I can take some much needed time to be quiet. I am also trying not to plan things and not to fill the days up. I want to create some space. And to be ok sitting with things.

I will continue to try take it each one day at a time and look for the joy again and again. Because I know that joy is possible in each and every moment.

Here’s to hoping May is full of joy.

Reflecting – March

March went more quickly than I’d anticipated. Usually March is one of the longest months of the year for me, it drags and drags and drags. This year, I took nine days of carer’s leave during this month and I think it really helped.

This months intention was to Choose Joy:  This is usually your hardest month. No break, still too cold. It feels hard to make it through this month but you can. Choose joy. Look at your list from February.  Keep going.

I tried really hard to choose Joy this month. It was a really hard month for me and I had some really low moments but I kept pushing through and worked hard to take what I needed as well as being there for my people.

Here are some goals I had for March:

  • continue to draw daily: i did this everyday
  • Go back to nourish plans/list: i did not do this, most of the plans around nourish are in tatters at this pont
  • do all of HCOTF – i did all but 2-3 this month
  • help N finish CDB – we submitted, cross fingers
  • continue to support J – doubled down on this one
  • make plans for spring break – done, Pgh, Boston, Chicago here we come
  • finish all the taxes – also done, about to mail them off
  • reach out to people and figure things out – i think, done here too, so grateful
  • take a class – yep did “story of self” and loved it
  • help David with summer options – working on this
  • Find some summer options for N – did this too
  • journal – did some but not as much as i wish i could
  • Step away from sugar and gluten for a while – totally did not do this one
  • Continue documenting the joy – did this
  • Take time off – did this
  • Connect with friends at least 2 times, ideally 4 – hmm did at least two likely 3
  • Love my people – loved them madly
  • read more, still. – i did read more in march but still not as much as usual
  • Scrap and catch up to OLW – did this
  • Get ready to go back to work – well can i ever be ready?
  • Pick an option – did this, i think, waiting on others
  • Go climbing – yep 1-2 times a week
  • Go on at least 2 dates with J
  • dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each. – did not do this, maybe i can try a bit this coming week or in April
  • prepare for N’s birthday – halfway there
  • figure out linode and cloud stuff for email. – totally did not do this, i tried though

I feel pretty good about what I accomplished in March. I booked 7 plane tickets, I booked two summer camps, I booked 2 car rentals, 1 hotel, finished taxes, booked 4 college tours, did a million hours of perf, reached out, showed up and leaned in. I worked hard both for myself and for others this month. I am proud of myself.

April through mid-May will be incredibly eventful for me. I am not a fan of change and I don’t really like busy days but alas both are in store for me. I will be traveling, a lot. Three trips to the other end of United States. Five planes in six days. Back to the office. Changes at work. Family all around. A lot at once after not having done anything for two years. I am quite scared of it all and have a bunch of anxiety but I am trying to remind myself that I will take it all one day at a time and look for the joy again and again. Because I know that joy is possible in each and every moment.

Here’s to hoping April is full of joy.

Reflecting – February

February went by in a blink this year, as it seems to every year.

This months intention was to List the JoysSee what’s bringing you joy this month. Make lists. Pay attention. See if you can find patterns.

Interestingly, I did find patterns, I found that the things that bring me joy often have an element of my pushing limits/boundaries so I am growing or learning or things that give me a sense of awe. Also sometimes small things but often because they help me connect with a space of awe.

Here are some goals I had for February

  • Start OLW book and journal if it arrives
  • Go back to nourish plans/list
  • do all of HCOTF
  • Start 100-day project
  • Journal
  • Do art
  • Step away from sugar and gluten for a while
  • Continue documenting the joy
  • Do the stitching quilt fun
  • Read Beth’s books
  • Connect with friends at least 2 times, ideally 4
  • Love my people
  • Find something to learn
  • Go to SoCal and visit at least 3 schools for D
  • Read more books (I ready very few in January)
  • Find a fun documenting plan
  • Get organized and find a schedule that works at work
  • Help N with SSAT
  • Go climbing
  • Go on at least 2 dates with J
  • dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each.
  • Celebrate D’s birthday.
  • Setup D’s desk and contents.

On the positive side, I did many of these goals. I started (and am still doing) my 100-day project, read both of Beth’s books, visited colleges with my family, read more than January, journaled but only a little bit, exercised but did quite terribly on both nourishment and water. I did help my folks with their particular journeys and I feel mostly good about that. We celebrated D’s birthday and we did setup his new desk. I also did the values exercise with Brene. It was quite eye opening.

The end of February brought some twists which potentially imply some major changes for my life so that will make March an interesting month and I am grateful for the practice of release and ease I’ve been building into my life for over a year, now that will hopefully be instrumental. February was a profound in what I was able to do and what I’ve learned. I’m grateful.

Here’s to hoping March is full of joy.

Reflecting – January

January did not go as expected this year.

My goals at the beginning of the month/year were as they often are:

  • Start OLW
  • Really lean into nourishing yourself, make a plan, templates
  • Do more art
  • Step away from sugar and gluten for a while
  • Start noticing the joy
  • Get organized at work
  • Journal more
  • Love my people
  • Find something to learn
  • Connect to others

While I did do many of these, many others also fell by the wayside. I had a positive covid test about halfway through the month and that meant that I spent the next two weeks isolated in my room, managing both family and work from there. I am grateful that no one else in my family got sick, that I recovered pretty quickly and experienced very few symptoms.

But it still threw a bit wrench into my January plans, of course.

Though it also came with a lot of reflection around life, priorities, what matters most, etc. Always good to have a solid perspective on those.

I still feel pretty good about January and feel deeply grateful for my life. I’ve been practicing noticing joy and do daily work to release, step into ease and create space in my life. I definitely can lean more into both space and possibility. And I wish I’d made time for art and journaling.

Here’s to hoping February is full of joy.