Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing: Essays by Lauren Hough
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is a collection of essays. I rarely read a collection of essays, but I’d read Hough’s piece about being a cableman and really liked it so I wanted to see what all her other stories looked like too. And I was not disappointed.

“Most of the time, I figure it’s better to know the universe doesn’t pay out favors for magical thinking.”

Hough doesn’t hold back her punches. The first story takes place when someone blows up her car because she’s gay and then she gets blamed for it and has to have a trial. It’s incredible how messed up how our justice system can work (and in the military nonetheless) and how your life can turn upside down in one moment.

“I’ve learned, if not to expect the worst, to not be surprised by the worst.”

By all accounts, Hough has lived an unusual life. Brought up in a cult, her roots are all over the place and her family is in pieces everywhere. I didn’t grow up in the United States and had never heard of this cult before so all of it was new to me. She writes about it matter-of-factly and not with self-pity or even anger the way you’d expect someone who has gone through all that might have.

“You may think you have friends who’ll help you bury a body. But when the cops show up and flash their badges, your friends will point to bodies you’ve never seen to keep the cops from looking their way. There are only two sides, and when it comes down to it, even those with nothing to hide will side with those who have the power.”

Hough’s pieces are each more incredible than the last and yet they are full of life, wisdom, reality and life. So much of real life. I appreciated her no nonsense writing and found myself feeling incredulous, angry and frustrated at the number of life’s hurdles she’s been dealt.

“Fact is, there are more than two doors, forgiveness or Kathy Bates. The third door is, you don’t have to forgive at all. You can just go right on living your life with one less asshole to deal with.”

I really hope she keeps writing and telling her story.

with gratitude to Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

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The Push by Ashley Audrain
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book messed with my head. I know that was the point, but wow. It was such a different read. I started it and just couldn’t figure out where it was going. I couldn’t connect with the character and felt lost as to why others thought it was so powerful.

And then it started getting under my skin. The grief, the loneliness, the underhanded neglect and dismissal. The cruelty. I couldn’t stop reading. I couldn’t stop feeling. It was strong enough that I felt like I had to numb myself from how this book was making me feel.

And the ending. that ending.

In the end, it wasn’t about the mystery. Of course not. I will remember the way this book made me feel for quite some time.

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Winterkeep by Kristin Cashore
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I can’t help myself, I love Kristin Cashore. I especially love her Graceling series so there was no way I wasn’t reading this even though it’s been a long, long time and I can barely remember the characters. In the end, it didn’t matter too much for me. I love Cashore’s writing, I love her complex characters, I love the worlds she creates and I love her strong, strong female characters. I will read whatever she writes.

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Black Buck by Mateo Askaripour
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

3.5 stars.

I have so many thoughts about this book. Reading it was such an experience for me. The book started out as one thing and then shifted at least two different times so that by the end I wasn’t even sure what I’d read. And while I rolled my eyes in places, and lost focus in others, I think this is a very interesting book. I am still not entirely sure what I thought of it, tbh.

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Make Your Art No Matter What: Moving Beyond Creative Hurdles by Beth Pickens
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

“Here is my thesis, and it will not be the last time that I tell you this: You are going to die. I will, too. We have to make choices about time because we have the nite gift of one existence. You should make your art.”

This book is written for artists. Even though the author does an excellent job defining what an artist, I couldn’t decide if I was one or not (which maybe means I am not), but I decided to put that aside and just enjoy her solid advice.

“The more you give time and resources to your art, the more you’ll understand paid employment as something that supports your art and life. We get this backward, thinking that we are on the planet to work and earn money. Let’s ip it—we earn a living to pay for our lives.”

The book is divided into different sections that cover different areas of worry: time, work, asking, money, fear, grief, other people, education, thinking+feeling, isolation, marketing, death+god. Each section dives deep into that area and explores what is holding the artist back and gives ways to shift that thinking.

“It is said that we are not responsible for our first thought. We are responsible for our second thought and our first action…Our first thought could be steeped in fear, judgment, old thought patterns, and stories; perhaps it’s distinctly someone else’s voice—an ex, a family member, an authority figure from long ago. We’re not responsible for that first bullshit thought. We are responsible for our next thought, the second thought, which we consciously conjure in response to that first thought. Then, we’re responsible for our first action.”

There is so much gold in this book. Regardless of if you’re artist or not, I am convinced you will get solid value out of this book. And if you’re an artist, you might get even more. Above all, the author makes this excellent reminder (you can substitute “your art” with anything else that’s meaningful to you):

“Your life is finite, and you should make your art. Things will get in the way and you should still make your art.”

with gratitude to netgalley and chronicle books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

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Love Poems for the Office by John Kenney
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love this “Love Poems for…” series so much! If you have worked in an office, I recommend this one wholeheartedly, I laughed and laughed and laughed as I listened to it. Absolutely joyful.

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