Photo of the Day – Day 216



Jake’s mom, Jake, David and I went to Santa Cruz today and we had so
much fun watching the seals, walking on the pier and playing with sand.
This is not the greatest photo but I wanted to make sure to remember today.

Daily David – Day 216



David’s loving having his grandmother around.

Thankful Today – August 2, 2008

1. Looking forward to date night tonight with my love.
2. Getting the time to create.
3. Allowing myself to stretch and try new things, despite the fear.
4. Finally making some decisions.

Photo of the Day – Day 215



Daily David – Day 215



His lip is almost healed.

Two Days



And finally my August Kit mini for A Million Memories. This is
photos from the two days we spent in Boston for Danny and Leila’s wedding.








Firsts



Another one of my August Kit projects for A Million Memories.



One of the reasons I quit my Wall Street job was to get to spend more
time with the kids I planned to have. I wanted to make sure I was there
to raise them myself and to see them through all their firsts.



First food, first steps, first words, first time on a bike. First time
blowing bubbles. The reason I care about the very first time is because
it comes with a few extra emotions. The surprise on his face when he
actually takes his first real step. he joy of finally getting the
bubbles to come out. The face he makes when he tastes peas for the first
time. The fleeting moment when it’s a brand new experience emotionally
or physically is incredibly precious to me.



It happens once in a lifetime. Once in his lifetime. And I want to be
there to experience those with each of my children.



Yet, life doesn’t always work out as planned. Now I find myself working
more than I intended to and getting to see fewer of those special
moments. That makes me cherish each one even more.



This weekend, we took you to the movies for the first time. You’d been
wanting to see Wall-E and we figured that if we went to a 9:15am show,
we could always walk out if you really didn’t like it.



But you loved it.



You watched the whole movie (with the help of a little bit of chocolate)
and you were quiet as a mouse. After we walked out, you talked about it
nonstop. I am so glad that I was there to experience it with you. It
made it that much more special for me and it made me really proud of you.



I may miss many of the firsts but here’s one I didn’t miss and I want to
make sure to celebrate it.

Not Ready



Another one of my August Kit projects for A Million Memories. I ripped
and redid this one three times.



I decided to concentrate on journaling this month so most of my LOs have
journaling:



Little boy, I look at this photo and my heart melts a bit. I think it’s
so cute that you’re so sweet to little girls.



And then I stop and freak out a bit.



I am so not ready for this. I am not ready for you to grow up. I know
this is nothing and I know that you’re years away from actually going
out with girls. I also am not one of those protective moms. I want you
to have girlfriends. I want you to experience love. Being loved. And
everything else.



I am just not ready for time flying by so fast. I haven’t had enough
hugs yet. I haven’t been able to spend enough time with you. I want to
stop time and just play with you for hours. For days. For weeks, months,
years. I want to freeze time for both of us so we can have some quality
time. And then you can grow up. And meet girls. And have your own life.



Just not yet.

Two



Another one of my August Kit projects for A Million Memories. This one
was just with the scraps and just cause I love these two photos so much.
It’s David learning to sign “two.”

No More Doubt



I finally finished my August Kit projects for A Million Memories. I wanted
to concentrate more on journaling this month so my projects are simpler
and more about the sentiments, thoughts, and feelings I want to remember.

Before you came along, I wasn’t sure if I wanted children.

Well, that’s not true. I knew I wanted kids, I just wasn’t sure I was
ready for them. I kept worrying about how much I didn’t know and how
likely it was that I would end up messing you up. Causing you sorrow or
frustration. Or even worse. Life long problems.

I kept doubting myself. I kept seeing friends whose parents messed them
up. I kept worrying and wondering and postponing.

And then, one day, I was talking to your uncle Clark and I told him
about my worries and he said, “Isn’t it better that a kid has a mom
who’s paying attention to those things? Chances are your kid will be
better off because you care.” And I totally agreed. I guess half the
game is just trying to do right. As much as possible.

And then you came along.

The most perfect, wonderful, kind, generous boy. The sweetest thing
ever. And I realized I was bound to mess it up but that it was ok.
Because there will be no single moment in my life when I don’t love you
more than anything else. No moment when I won’t be giving all I have. Ever.

Ever.

And I wondered why I waited so long.

You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I just look at
your sweet face and thank my lucky starts.

And I thank uncle Clark.

Making a Life

Today’s prompt from Shimelle: Share a story with your readers about
one moment when you felt independent and in control.



I’ve had a few such luxurious moments in my life. When I moved to the US
from Turkey. I was really homesick for a few weeks but overall I was
much more in my element in the US than I ever felt in Istanbul. I had a
similar feeling when I graduated and moved to New York, when I had my
own apartment, my own job, and just my own life. I love it. Even now. I
am scared to do something to rock things but I do have a very nice life
and I feel lucky to be able to be independent (or feel that way even
with a 3 year old.). I love my life. I love my family. I love that I
made this life. We made it. It’s really magical.

I’ve always, always wanted to make my own choices. Ever since I can
remember and I love making them.

Thankful Today – August 1, 2008

1. Thankful that I work for such a generous and fun company. They throw
lavish parties and always make us feel so special. It’s important not to
ever lose sight of it.
2. Having a healthy family. I am not thankful for this often enough.
3. Feeling calmer and a bit caught up for a change.