Another layout I made using the Cosmo Cricket line they sent to
wonderful AMM.
I am so glad I captured these wonderful photos while my family is here.
First of a bunch of layouts I made using the Cosmo Cricket line they
sent to wonderful AMM.
This didn’t turn out the way I liked. I had all these Halloween photos
and didn’t really want to give them up. So I double-sided them and made
them minibooks on the LO so you could flip each side. It looks kinda
neat in person but looks so plain in the photos!
One of the biggest challenges of work in general is balancing the work,
the deadlines, and the politics. One of the main reasons I quit Wall
Street was the fact that I wanted to spend my time doing something
worthwhile. Until last year, I could easily say that my changes were
such. I did Teach For America and regardless of how it turned out, it
was definitely a worthwhile way to spend my life. After TFA, I worked
for home and did something small and not too relevant but I was still
supporting two worthwhile causes: my husband’s business and growing our
family by one magical person.
Then, last year, I changed course and went back to work. Full time.
Albeit, it wasn’t Wall Street but still, I often wonder if I am still
pursuing the original goal of living a more purposeful life. What I
realized today was that if I put aside politics and the need to move
ahead or be recognized, I can easily make my life purposeful and
regularly try to do the right thing. Which will in return make my life
more purposeful and make me feel more proud of myself.
Politics, to me, is the worst side of any company, even for a nonprofit.
Good people, doing the right thing, should be rewarded. Period. If this
were consistently the case, the only goal people had would be to do the
right thing. However, often times, it’s much more about who you are, who
you know, etc. And I have so little interest in being part of that game.
I don’t know what that means for my future in the corporate world, but I
know that now that I’ve found a way to make my life purposeful again, no
one is taking it away from me.
Get excited!
Back when I read Now,
Discover Your Strengths, the one idea that stuck with me was that
working with one’s strengths is a faster road to success than fixating
on your weaknesses. Not only do I agree with that sentiment, but I also
think it applies when dealing with others.
Instead of trying to make other people different than what they are or
getting frustrated by their weaknesses, I think it’s best to concentrate
on their strengths and to work with what you have. Even in the personal
context. You get one Mom and one Dad. Learn to work with what you have,
find a way to make it work for you.
I think if we all spent our energy on optimizing our strengths, while
slowly but steadily improving our weaknesses and learned to take people
as they are and work with them, life would be considerably easier. Often
times, people disappoint us so much more because of our expectations of
them as opposed to anything they actually do.
Imagine if we stopped expecting and just took what we got.
I guess I’m going to have to cheat tonight since I’ve had a wonderful,
but long day. I need to go to sleep and give my brain a much-needed
break. So here’s the photo of the very first pumpkin I’ve ever carved.
As an interesting side bit, while I was carving this, we had the first
earthquake I’ve felt since moving to San Fran area.
So David’s finally begun to talk. A lot. He’s funny. Today he even
responded when someone asked his name. He then told me “You Mommy, I
David.” This is big progress for us. I am so glad to see it happening.
And he’s so very entertaining, it’s amazing to watch. You can’t help but
get caught up in it.
He truly is the best thing I ever did.
It’s interesting how life works out where a small, tiny thing can
completely turn my day/week/life around. An inkling of something good is
all I need for all aspects of my life to get affected by that. And it
goes both ways, so it works for an idea of something bad too. It colors
everything else I do and everything I feel. It even colors how I feel
about future possibilities.
This reminds me about the dual
self post I had made a long time ago. I think I am now feeling my
centered and happy self. I feel like I am at my best. There’s still a
tiny nag deep within, the part that won’t let go but I’ve been kicking
it regularly and telling it to fuck off.
The best part is, I am happier at home, nicer to Jake, more patient with
David, more relaxed about my other commitments, just in general more
pleasant to be around. Which then makes the people around me happier and
then they go home and affect the people in their lives. And next thing
you know, it’s a snowball effect.
And all it takes is a tiny idea. A change in perception. A change in
perspective. The possibility of a good thing and not the promise or
guarantee of one. I think that’s phenomenal. A tiny stirring in one
person results in tons of happier people.
If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.
Today was a really good day. Really good.
It reminded me why I am here to begin with and what I was thinking when
I decided to leave my little boy and go back to work full-time.
Sometimes it’s good to remember these things and remember why you did
what you did and keep a record of them. So when the days are like
yesterday, I can come back and read this post and feel good. And
remember that there were days like this one.
I can feel the beginning of something big here. And I hope, hope, hope
that I am not wrong.
Some days things just magically fall into place. On other days, doing
the right thing is a major struggle. Constant uphill battle.
Today was one of those days. In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it
doesn’t have to matter but it’s so frustrating that it taints the rest
of your day or your overall outlook on things.
That’s when you know it’s a good time to go to sleep and start over
tomorrow. Sorry for the short entry but I think I need a good dose of
sleep to feel full again.
One of the reasons I love having a little kid like David is his
incredible ability to share joy. He’s so expressive with his happiness
that it’s contagious. Last week, we went to the Google Halloween party
and they had an inflatable cauldron where a witch came in and out of it
and each time the witch came out, David shrieked with joy. Pure,
unadulterated joy. It was so amazing that everyone around him was
laughing at his intensity.
It’s funny how such things become socially unacceptable over time. It’s
sad how we don’t feel (or at least) express that kind of happiness
anymore. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt that good and I
wonder if I ever expressed myself the way he does. But this is sort of
why I wish it was okay to be straightforward with people. Not only is
expressing outlandish joy pooh-poohed upon, but so is telling people you
think they’re great. If you say things like that you must either be
hitting on the person or have an ulterior motive.
Some days I wish it was okay to tell people that you think they’re
awesome and interesting and you’re glad they’re in your life. Like an
official “go tell people you like that you like them” day or something.
I wish people knew how to take compliments and say thank you. I wish
people heard you and believed you and it actually made them feel good. I
certainly value the bad more than the good. When someone compliments me,
they mustn’t know what they are talking about and when they bash me,
they must be right. But I wish I was good at listening and hearing, too.
Even if just for one day.
National express-joy-like-a-toddler and take-compliments-well day.
I’ve always had this theory that there’s no one like me out there. This
is not in the boasting, “aren’t I great” way. On the contrary, it’s more
like wondering “what’s wrong with me that there’s no one else like me?”
When I was in Turkey, I could use that as an excuse. Surely, there would
be more people like me in the United States. College would do the trick
for me. After all, people came from all over the world to go to college.
Well college came and went, New York came and went, and I never met
anyone who made me feel like I wasn’t a complete anomaly of a human being.
Until yesterday.
I was at my first ever scrapbooking event and the speaker went on and on
about her life, her approach to things (including scrapping) and I
couldn’t stop thinking how she was a kindred spirit to me. The funny
thing is, on the surface, I’ve met many others who seem to be much more
similar to me: people who love computers, books, writing, or anything
else I like to do. But this woman, she felt like she was similar
to who I am and not what I do.
To be honest, I don’t even know if she really is. I’ve only heard her
give a speech and maybe chatted with her for 30 minutes. We may have
almost nothing in common. But the few words she mentioned were exactly
what I’ve said/felt at times and that’s all I needed to hear for this
“aloneness” to disappear. And pooof! it went.
Amazing how great it feels to let go of something I’ve been carrying
around for over twenty years.
I just posted around twenty layouts that mean that the site is now
caught up to all my recent scrapbooking. I also separated the two sites
for those of you who don’t care for scrapbooking and those of you who
don’t care about my non-scrap related thoughts. The scrapping has its
own site and the link is permanently on the top right.
I also separated the rss feeds. If you want the main site, here’s the feed for all but
scrapbooking. If you want the scrapbooking one, here is the scrapbooking one.
If you want both in one rss, here is both.
At some point, I might join all back, but for November, this is how
things will be.
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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