There are ways of being that have worked for me for 48 years. Ways I show up, things I say, things I do. They’ve led me to this wonderful life that I appreciate so much.
and yet.
And yet they also get in my way. I’ve been carrying these behaviors as the way to be for so long that I don’t even know what happens when I am not this way. Is there an even better outcome on the other side of that other way of being?
This is also what open is about. Open to other ways of being. Open to my way not being the only way. Open to change and options and a shift in perspective.
My goal this year is to stay slow and light with my expectations from others and myself. I lie in bed longer, I watch TV and paint if that makes me happy, and I try to remind myself that my stressing about it won’t actually make things resolve to better outcomes.
I am here in this moment as I am.
I wish exercised more and ate better. I wish I were more diligent about staying in touch with my friends. I wish I were able to learn Korean faster. I wish I were a less scared driver. I wish I were more social.
I wish for many things.
And I am also ok right here right now. Grateful for what is and what I am. Open to growing and expanding when the time is right.
There’s so much going on. Both in the macro and the micro sense I feel like there’s more going on than I can absorb at this moment. Devastation, inflation, depression, layoffs, anxiety, sickness, unidentified objects in the sky, bruised joints, overwhelm and more.
It’s too much.
So instead I am staying here in this moment. Open to being here and seeing the good that’s available to me. Trying to center and ground myself in gratitude for what is.
Absolutely fantastic book about a mom and a son both telling their stories around the secrets they have had to keep and what it cost them and how to come back to ourselves. Really wonderful story and really fantastic audiobook. Highly recommended.
Fast-paced strong thriller about three girls who are best friends when one of them gets stabbed in the woods by a serial killer. Years later, the killer dies in prison and the girls are now back together when secrets start unraveling.
Loved this sweet romance story of a fake marriage turned into real love. If romance is your thing, you’ll like this one. I haven’t read 1-3 in this series and it didn’t make a difference for this book. Loved it.
I reread this with my husband on a recent trip. The first part of this book is absolutely gut wrenching for me. I cannot listen to it without feeling completely devastated. And it’s also so inspiring how Frankl found a way to survive despite it all and make something so meaningful for himself and for the rest of us.
I put off reading this book for a year. Not sure why. There were mixed reviews and I wasn’t sure I would like it. And while the writing is odd and hard to really get into, the story was really beautiful and the way it all connected in the end was really tender. I’m so glad I read it.
Another fantastic graphic novel about a young queer person finding their way and sharing their journey. I love reading these books and learning and growing and I am so grateful that they are willing to share their journey.
I put off reading this book because I knew it would wreck me. And it wrecked me. It was beautiful and raw and hard to read. I loved how true the grief was, how it wasn’t sugarcoated. I love the complicated family. I loved this book.
A beautiful story of family, love, tradition, country and so much more. I really loved Jack as a character and I loved the atmosphere of this story. It was light and fast moving, a wonderful read for a rainy day.
This is a thought-provoking book that takes place in the future but tackles concerns that are all too real today. About human vs robot, logic vs feelings. About what makes life worth living. This was an experience to read.
