It’s been a long time. When I decided to do this job, I knew that I would no longer realistically be able to write this site every single day like I used to be able to. While I had absolutely no idea of the insanity that my life would become, I did know that time would become a more precious commodity than it had been in the last two years when I was working part time.
The sad thing is, now I need to journal more than ever. This site used to be a way I could think about my thoughts. It was a way I got to reflect regularly. I kept diaries for over ten years as a child but for some reason, I haven’t been able to get into it the way I really want to. If there’s one thing I know about this teaching experience, it’s that I’m going to want to remember my thoughts and feelings as I experience this. While I am confident that some things are best forgotten, I don’t want to rely on my shaken memory of these two years. I’m not going to want to forget this.
On a more practical note, I find that reflecting gives me a way to improve and perfect my thoughts on a subject. While it might lead me down the path of wallowing on what I could have done and what I should have done, that’s something I’m simply going to learn to get over because without quality reflection time, my life just becomes about making through each day, which is not an efficient way to make an impact.
So I am not really sure how to make this work. As of next week, I have class on Wednesdays, Thursdays until after 9:30pm. I also will most likely be teaching after school on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays and Saturdays. All this tightens my already crammed schedule. However, I need to make time for this. So any ideas on how I can make that happen?
The good news is that I’ve found a way to make peace with doing this job and not hating my life and myself. The bad news is that I don’t feel like I’m necessarily a better teacher. I just show up to work everyday and don’t want to kill myself at the end of the day. (Though, one of my students wrote the nicest thing on his math journal today, “Dear Ms.— When I was in 4th grade and down. Math was really boring. Now you make it fun to learn.” Isn’t that nice?)
Most importantly, I still need to find a way to get them to shut the fuck up. Any advice? 🙂
Hi there, well, this comment has nothing to do with your journal entry, just that I happened to drop by through a link while I was searching for a new comment app for blogs. You have a funky one! Cheers!
Well, I’m lost on how to make them shut up (heh), but maybe you’d find it easier to blog if you took notes over the course of the day? Not very elaborate or detailed ones–just jot down anything that you want to write about on a little notepad or something. That way, even if you can’t sit down every night and write, you’ll have a list to refresh your memory when you do.
Elenita, that’s a good idea! I think I will try doing that this week 🙂