I’ve always had bad luck with crushes.
At 11, I had a crush on one of the guys in my group. I guess over here, it would be called my “circle”. Anyhow this guy was two years older than I and we were friends. He was always nice to me but never in the way I actually wanted him to be. I never really knew whether he was aware of my crush or not.
Until one summer day, we were chatting in the disco at the club in Burgaz. (the island where we live in the summer) He asks me who my crush is.
I, very coyly, say, “I’m not telling you.”
“Well is he in our group?” he hollers over the music.
“Yep.” I say softly, snuggling closer so he can hear me. Any excuse to be physically close to him.
“Is he my age or older?”
“Yep.”
He smirks. “I’m the only guy in our group who fits in that category.”
DOH!
Talk about stupid. Amazingly, even after my totally moronic give away we never dated. A few years later, I got the impression that he might have been interested in me, but it was way too late.
At fifteen, I moved on to concentrate all my efforts on another completely unreachable goal. This one wouldn’t even talk to me unless it was for a cordial greeting. Sadly, we never moved beyond that and eventually my interest waned. To this day, no one knows that I had a crush on this guy. Our mothers were good friends and after the previous disaster, I’d sworn that I wasn’t telling anyone. Twelve years later, it’s still my little secret. It’s going to the grave with me.
At eighteen, it took me all of ten days to construct a huge crush on a classmate in Calculus. A quarterback nonetheless. He and I were good friends for a while. We did the math assignments together and it seemed to work well and it gave me a reason to see him regularly. The football program I mentioned a few days ago was purchased due to this crush.
My best friend and I ran all around campus trying to buy one of these game brochures once we discovered that this guy’s picture was in it. But the game had already started and the school wasn’t selling them anymore. So we walked around the benches and my friend flips out a ten-dollar bill and says that she will give it to the first person who gives her the program (which had been worth only five). Three people rushed in at once and one very happy man gave us the coveted booklet. Which I still have.
One of my friends in high school had told me about how she used the codename 143 to say I love you. So I figured it might be a good idea to embarrass myself thoroughly once more, cause it had been a while since the last time I did that. So, I wrote a letter to this guy. I can’t even remember what it said, but it wasn’t a declaration of love or anything. All I did was put a “P.S.” on the bottom that simply said 143.
Wasn’t I clever?
Well, not really. He figured it out. And yet once more, surprisingly, he stayed friends with me so much so that he confided in me about his crush on my roommate. And then proceeded to date her best friend.
After him, I swore off crushes.
Previously? The Right Moment.
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