Weekly Reflection 2017 – 52


How I shone this week: Well, I did my best to make sure my kids and my wonderful husband had wonderful Christmas. I rested a lot. I spent a lot of time sitting with my kids and doing work. I also took care of Nathaniel who has been sick and I was also sick myself. I don’t think any of these count as fully shining but that’s all I got this week I’m afraid. 

Things I wanted to get Done: I had no plans for this week. I just wanted to rest. Mostly, however, I got sick. I woke up Christmas morning, feeling not my best self. Nathaniel was also sick and later made David sick as well, so by midweek, all three of us were needing tissues by us pretty much the whole time. Jake thankfully managed to escape it by mostly being at work. We were thinking we might go away for a few days but Nathaniel’s cold left him with a painful present where his calves are in severe pain so he can’t really walk. Which means we can’t really go anywhere. 

I celebrate: feeling a tiny bit better. 

I am grateful for: these empty days, even though they do fill me with ennui, I am also grateful to slow down 

I nourished myself by: not much more than last week. i’ve not been eating well. while it’s not super poor, it’s not nourishing. i have been reading a lot and really loving the rest puzzles seem to bring me.

Reflecting on my worries:  i got a lot done so i don’t think it’s fair to torture myself. however i wasn’t worried about any of us getting sick and three of us did. i need to remember that few of the things i worry about happens and many of the things i don’t worry about do happen. life is unpredictable and worrying doesn’t help deter anything. i have to focus on living my life the best way i know how and have faith that i can handle whatever comes my way. and that i have the love and support of people when i need it. 

I let go of:  exercise. i didn’t exercise all week. i’ve been feeling unwell and i’ve been too tried. both of those are excuses and i know but I just let it go for this week.

Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love): this week, too, has been about resting and being with my peeps.

What made me laugh this week: my wonderful family of course.

What I tolerated this week: myself. i’ve been so whiny. work starts in a few days and i think i am both antsy to go back and feel i need oodles more time. I keep wavering between the two.

My mood this week was: sick.
I forgive myself for:  being me. i have so many expectations out of myself. i judge myself off of a standard I am unlikely to ever meet. I’m just going to have to let it all go. 
What I love right now: I’m loving getting to do so much work with both my kids. I am super proud of all the math they both know. Nathaniel who is eight can factor quadratic equations and David’s doing some hard-core Calculus at twelve. They are showing up, they are doing the hard work, and I am super-proud of them. Both my kids worked hard during this vacation. (They also played a lot so don’t worry.)

So here we are. We get to say goodbye to this year in just a few days. (I’m typing this on Friday.) This has been a tough year in the world. There have been so many natural disasters, so much terrorism, and a lot of worrying trends and changes. From that perspective, I am grateful to get to say good-bye to 2017 and really hope that 2018 will be better. On a personal note, 2017 was kind to me. All four of us were mostly healthy and have had a lot of wonderful surprises and successes this year. We’ve had setbacks, too, of course, but net-net I’d say it was a positive year. I am hoping that we all push a little harder, stretch a little bit more, and find new boundaries for ourselves in 2018. I hope we go on adventures. I hope we laugh a lot. I hope we hug a lot. I hope we treat each other kinder than necessary. I hope I get to have many experiences that feel fresh, magical, lighter, and true. And most of all, I hope 2018 leaves all of us stronger than before not because we have to but because we choose to. 

Thank you 2017. I know it’s a privilege to be alive. I am grateful for all your gifts and challenges. If you read here, even occasionally, thank you for your support and I hope you leave a comment and say hi. Here’s to a wonderful 2018 for all of us! 

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