Daily Diary – January 30 2010

Remember how I wrote about eating better a few weeks ago. I am still working on that. Jake went grocery shopping yesterday and bought a lot of fruits and veggies and some meat for us. So, this morning, I cooked some beef, broccoli, eggplant, eggs, and squash. (all separately) and I have them all ready in the fridge. I also cut up tomatoes and cucumbers. I then made myself this lunch.

And stuck most of it in a sandwich.

Yum.

Since I don’t cook most of the time, we rarely ever eat and meat or fish here. I decided I needed more protein (more energy) so I got some beef, chicken, and some sole and I plan to cook it all in the next two days and eat a little along with my meals every day. I figure it will take me to Thursday or so. For Friday, I have some tuna. Not to mention the protein from eggs and cheese and yogurt. And then we’ll shop again on the weekend. Not bad, eh?

Here’s the little boy. He still has some dry blotches all over his skin from the Big Bear trip but I am hoping they will go away soon. Still the drippy, full nose, too.

I am feeling a bit better. Still not 100% but on the mend. Thankfully. A mostly-quiet day here today. A nice chat with my mom, some fun time with the kids and a bunch of cooking. Nothing at all major. Now relaxing with TV and possibly some sewing.

Note to Self:
I was watching The Barefoot Contessa today and I noticed that after she cooks (or even as she cooks) she always says how delicious something looks or how great it tastes, etc. Like she’s self-congratulating the whole way through. When I see people say how much they love their layouts, art, whatever, my first reaction is always to think “what makes you so great?” and I realized today how bitter and cynical that sounds. And if there’s one thing I hate, it’s cynical. I’ve also realized I do that because I am never happy with anything I do. I am never proud of myself or my work or art. I don’t know if I feel it’s snotty to be so or if I feel that me being proud would preclude others from being so or who knows why. Then I wondered how life might be if I really did like my work. If I were proud of myself. More significantly, if I liked myself. What if I just liked everything I made. What if I were happy with it. And marveled at it (like Ina does) wouldn’t that be amazing? I think that would significantly change the way the world works for me. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I were just happy with my art? Not in a “I am just perfect” way but in that “This was an awesome effort” way?

Three things I’m grateful for today:
1. I am grateful for all the cooked food in the fridge. It makes me happy to open it and see all the possibilities.
2. I am grateful that I am feeling so much better and all of us finally seem to be on the mend. That took too long.
3. I am grateful for some quiet time where I get to relax and do whatever my heart desires.

Happy Saturday!

1 comment to Daily Diary – January 30 2010

  • Monika Wright

    Because of the way I was raised, it wasn’t too cool to be overly confident or boastful. So, now when I am working on a project, I kind of feel bad if I step back and think to myself, “Hey, that turned out pretty good. I’m proud!” And, then, when I see my 6-year old feeling pretty confident and saying, “I’m pretty good at this (as in gymnastics), I don’t know what to think. First off, she’s not really all that great at gymnastics, but she loves it, has fun, and thinks she is. I wish I had had some of that when I was younger. Sooooo, the point of this is this: it’s okay for you to be proud and think it’s good. Because it is. We all think so, and you should to.

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