2017 Art « karenika

May 2017 – Shining Means – 4

karenika.com This card says: Shining means forgiving everyone, all the time. Forgiving the people who love you. Forgiving random people that come in and out of your life. Forgiving your family. Forgiving friends. And most of all, forgiving yourself. You can’t shine with all that guilt.

The older I get, the less I believe in grudges. The less I believe in judging others. The less I badmouth anyone. I am fully stepping into a live and let live way of living. Life is so hard and most of us are doing the best we can. It really doesn’t help to judge others. We are here to help each other.

If someone messed up, it doesn’t help to hold a grudge. When I choose to shine, I choose to forgive. Without asking for anything in return. I forgive fully and completely. If that person meant it, well then I can choose new friends. But in general I think very few people are malicious. People just mess up.

All. the. time.

And so do I. I mean well. But I am human. I am fallible. I disappoint others. I disappoint myself. I mess up. I hurt people. I drop the ball. I am not the best version of myself. So very often.

But when I am shining, I pick up the pieces, I apologize, I forgive myself, I forgive others and I let it all go. I choose to believe in leaving the guilt and anger behind and choosing the light.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

May 2017 – Shining Means – 3

karenika.com This card says: Shining means being vulnerable. Taking your truth and standing with pain and sorrow. Being willing to be who you are. Being willing to sit with your pain and with the pain of others. Creating the safe space for others and allowing them to create it for you. Being willing.

It’s so hard to be vulnerable. It’s hard to sit with your own pain. It’s hard to feel the pain. It’s so much easier to try to numb the pain. With sleep, with food, with exercise. With whatever your thing is. To do whatever you can to not feel it because feeling it sucks.

But I’ve learned that those feelings don’t go away. Just because you ignore them or numb them or bury them, they don’t actually disappear. Just because you don’t want to feel them it doesn’t mean that you can get rid of them.

They stay there until you work through them. At least that’s what I believe to be true. And as hard as it is to sit with your own pain, sitting with someone else’s pain is even harder. Especially if it’s someone you love.

I always just want to make it better. I want to take their pain and put it on myself. I want to fix it. I want to make it better. I want it to go away. But just like you have to work through yours, they have to work through theirs. All you can do is sit with them. Create the space. Make it safe. And just be there. It’s so hard to just be there.

When I am shining, I can be that space for others. I sit there. I listen. I hold their hands. I sit with them in the pain but I don’t try to solve it or make it go away. This is the gift I can give them when I am the best version of myself.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

May 2017 – Shining Means – 2

karenika.com This card says: Shining means apologizing. Not just saying “I’m sorry” but also meaning it. Looking a person in the eye, acknowledging the pain caused and asking for how one can make it better. Really meaning what you say and intending to make things better. You can’t shine with all that weighing you down.

I love this one. Shining is about being honest. Meaning it. It’s not about not doing wrong, it’s about owning your wrongdoing. Stepping up and saying what needs to be said. I have no problem apologizing most of the time. I don’t like to make mistakes. I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, especially the people I love. When I do hurt them, I have no problem apologizing. But I don’t always do all the things I’ve outlined above. I don’t always suggest ways to make up for it.

I intend to make things better but in some areas I fail more often than I’d like. I feel like some mistakes I repeat too often. Some hurts I keep re-inflicting and I would like to get better at that. I’d like to do more than “intend” to do better, I’d like to make a plan and actually take steps in order to do better.

I also would like to be able to let go of the small things. Sometimes I find I get stuck on being right about small things and have needless arguments with people I love. I’d like to let that go. And for the people I don’t love, I’d like to let it all go. Then I can truly shine.

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for May 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.

May 2017 – Shining Means – 1

karenika.com This month’s project is related to One Little Word. Ali asked us to write questions pertaining to our word and think about what it means. I did this last year, too, and I loved it so I decided it was another opportunity for me to reconnect with my word.

This card says: Shining means being intentional about how you are showing up in your life. Paying attention to what lights you up and what makes you shutdown. Stepping back to ensure your choices are intentional and not incremental or external. Being the best.

This is such a big part of shining for me. Being mindful and understanding myself. It’s so easy to do the next thing and not think about how little things add up to represent my life and whether I am ok with spending my life this way.

It’s also easy not to pay attention to what lights me up and what shuts me down. I light up when I am in the sun. When I have coffee with a good friend. When I am reading. When I am painting. Listening to music. Taking a walk with my family. Hugging any of my boys!

What shuts me down is being put down. Being around people who think very highly of themselves. When I let someone down. When I am not appropriately dressed for an occasion. When there’s sarcasm or irony or unkindness. When I feel unworthy or less than.

I want to ensure to fill my life with places, things and people that make me shine!

Shining Means is a Monthly Project for May 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.

April 2017 – Fabric Sentiments – All

You can read about the start of this project here.

And here we are. Another month is over. This one was a lot of fun!

karenika.com