Catalyst ninety is: What’s something that embarrasses you?



My words:


I have a hard time accepting compliments. When someone says something nice, I am immediately embarrassed and start saying that it wasn’t that hard, or it’s not that great, or it looks better than it is. Anything. I’ll say anything to take the focus away from me and from the gratitude someone is showing me. One time, a friend to me to stop doing that and just to say thank you. I’m working on it.

I wanted to create a bouquet of flowers (like someone presenting flowers to me.) with wire and beads. I learned this technique from the amazing Rebecca Sower. She inspires me endlessly.

Catalyst eighty-nine is: Tell us about a time when you realized you had the answer to something you were struggling with where you least expected.



my words:

As I’ve written about several times before, in 2002, I quit my job on Wall St. to become a teacher for Teach for America. Relatively soon after I began teaching, I started having serious doubts about my ability to do this job justice. It was a very turbulent time in my life and I still struggle with it from time to time.

One of the things I did at the time was to take a course in the hopes that it would help me decide whether I was ready to quit the job or not. At the end of this intensive three day course, I had many answers to many other issues in my life but I still didn’t know if I should walk away.

A few weeks later, I was telling someone why I had originally chosen to go into the computer field (so I could work from home one day when I had kids) and then why I had quit the wall street career for a more altruistic one (so that what I did with my time away from my kids would be for a worthwhile cause). In talking to this person, I realized that I had made many significant decisions in my life on behalf of children I didn’t yet have. I also recognized that I had managed to setup my life such that I was working way too many hours to actually make room to have any kids.

As soon as I realized this, I quit my job, encouraged my unhappy husband to do the same (and pursue his dreams) and we moved across the country to setup a new life and within a year of moving we were expecting our first baby. I know that if it weren’t for the course, and for the struggles with my teaching job, I might have never stepped back enough to observe my life and notice how misaligned it was with my priorities.

Sometimes an unfortunate circumstance can be the catalyst to something wonderful and amazing.

Catalyst eighty eight is: What’s the best relationship you’ve had so far? It can be a romantic one, a family member, or a friendship. Why is it so special?



Here’s my journaling


These three men in my life have taught me what it means to love and to be loved. They are the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason I go to bed at night and feel happy and blessed every moment in between. Until I met Jake I didn’t know what it meant to be with someone who can love me just the way I am and who can make me feel whole. Until I had my boys, I didn’t know what it meant to love so much that it pysically hurt my heart. These men make me feel whole. They make me feel thankful and blessed and lucky. So so lucky.



I don’t know what I did to deserve this but I am not taking it for granted for one single moment. I hold them and kiss them and hug them as many times a day I can. Thank you, my boys.



All of the beautiful digital elements here are by Anna Aspnes.

Catalyst eighty-seven is: If money weren’t an issue what would you do with your time? (career or otherwise.)

If I had all the extra time in the world and my kids and husband were sleeping, I would spend most of it reading. The joy I get from getting lost in a novel is unparalleled. And Dickens is one of my favorites.

Catalyst eighty-six is: Write a letter to your younger self.



Well this is the book. The one that started the whole thing. The one that led me to start Creative Thrapy. I had put it away a long time ago, not sure what I wanted to do with the cover. I took it out and took a piece of fabric and stitched some interlocked hearts. Some beads and a heart and a note to remember: loved. This book is a reminder that I was loved. I am loved.

Catalyst Eighty-Five is What’s the most daring or scariest thing you’ve ever done?



My words:


“Let’s just do it!” I said. We were sitting in Bar 89. Facing each other. Talking about how much we hated our jobs how sick we were of New York. How we wanted something different. “Let’s just quit and move!” I encouraged him. (and myself) I wanted to know that we still had the guts. That we owned our life, not them.



It took us another year but we finally did it. Quit the jobs. Packed the apartment. Bought a car. And moved 3,000 miles. To a city we’ve never seen before. A city where we knew no one. Had no jobs.



We did it. We got jobs. Found a home. Started a life.



And, most importantly, proved we can do it.



We just did it.