Here’s the item we did last weekend.
4. Walk in a 5K…and finish.
There’s a yearly walk/run around my neighborhood that Jake did a few years ago. I knew it was in the fall and coming up. So when I scanned down my list and saw this item was still undone, I decided to sign up. A few weeks later, I talked Jake into signing up, too so last Friday, the four of us drove to Palo Alto for the annual moonlight walk/run. We were registered for the 5k walk which started at 7pm. They also had a 5K run and a 10K run. When we got there, they were playing pumped up music and the place was already full.
We walked in the line to get our numbers.
Here’s the little boy.
And all the boys.
And their crazy girl who is the reason they were here.
I’ve never entered a race in my life. Ever. This was the first time I had one of these so I was really excited. (My number is different cause I still have my own last name and the numbers are by last name it looks like.)
We even got tshirts.
I took a few photos and then it was time to line up.
They were playing Rocky music, of course. Don’t they always at these things?
For the next hour, we walked (mosly slowly) as the sun set and this incredible full moon rose. (I tried really hard to capture that but there were too many moving people and I had no equipment with me.) I had never before seen the moon rise and it was the most stunning view ever.
All four of us finished and it was a wonderful time. I must admit, I wore absolutely the wrong shoes and no socks so I still have a huge blister between my toes but all in all it was truly a wonderful family time and I am really really glad we did it.
Journaling Reads:
Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love everything about it. The lights, the joy, the music, the presents, the excitement, and, most of all, the family time.
For the last two years, we’ve been starting our Christmas morning with a special breakfast. It always includes orange juice, fresh berries, bananas and something that requires syrup. We have these place settings, plates, and cups that only come out during the season and just seeing them fills my heart with joy.
A lot more happens on Christmas Day and I love all of it, but I feel like having this tasty breakfast and starting our morning with quality family time sets the very best tone for our day. The way, once the craziness of opening presents, calling relatives, squealing, playing, wrestling, and even napping begins, I can enjoy all of it.
Just looking at this picture right now makes me wish it was Christmas already. Maybe I should take a cue from this and set breakfast traditions for other occasions, too.
I spent a while thinking about expectations today. I’ve noticed lately that happiness and gratitude are very strongly related to expectations. If something you didn’t expect (but is good) happens, you’re thrilled beyond belief and feel a strong sense of gratitude. And yet if you’re anticipating it, the same event feels deserved and comes with a sense of entitlement. However small.
So when something exceeds expectations, that’s when we feel glee and gratitude. And when something fails to meet what we hoped or even if it just meets our hopes, we tend to feel let down. What does this mean about gratitude?
The first instinct might be to think it’s best to lower expectations. After all, the lower they are, the easier it is to exceed them, right? The more I think about this, the more I feel that’s not the right path. I think the trick is to find gratitude even in those situations. I’m all about focusing in the now and trying to have realistic expectations, etc. But at the end of the day, each of us will be disappointed at some point in our lives and the trick is knowing what to do then.
What happened to me today was relatively small. I was frustrated for a while because something that I expected turned out completely different than my vision. I whined and pouted for a while. Then I gave myself a good mental slap. It was my fault for having baseless expectations and what happened instead was still amazing and wonderful and I had much to be thankful for. So instead of changing them, I threw my expectations out the window and told myself to take a good look at what was right in front of me. What I did have.
And, honestly, I had much to be grateful for right there.
I just had to look at it with my bare eyes and not through the colorful lenses of my expectations.
So next time this happens to you, I hope you take a moment to step back and pay attention to how your expectations might be blurring your vision of the situation and how you might actually have a lot to be thankful for right in front of you.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
Ok this one I did a long time ago and already posted but since I am trying to keep track of my items, I am reposting, apologies if it annoys you. I did this for a creative therapy prompt.
57. Document a day in my life
It’s funny to see how different our days are already since I made this. but i guess that’s exactly the point. I’ll have to redo it again some time…
Journaling Reads:
5-5:30am: Nathaniel wakes up right around now. Most days Jake’s already on his way to work so I rush into Nathaniel’s room and try to get him before David wakes up. We then go downstairs and I struggle to wake up while I nurse him. I might watch some TV or check my mail while I nurse.
6:30am: David comes down sometime between 5:30 and 6am and by 6:30, I am fully awake and lately I’ve begun regularly working on some sort of creative project so I get the kids set up with breakfast and sit at my table. Nathaniel eats some bread, cereal, or graham crackers with cheese and a banana. David eats oatmeal and sometimes a fruit, too. I might be scrapping, sewing, crocheting, or painting. I work at this feverishly for about an hour or hour and a half, taking a break to get Nathaniel down from his high chair so he can walk around and play with duplos or David’s toys.
8am: When David had school, this is when he’d start getting ready but school’s over now and Kindergarten hasn’t started yet so they just keep playing until I’m done with my project or until Nathaniel is whining cause he’s really tired. I then put Nathaniel down and clean up around the kitchen a bit while I make my coffee. When it’s ready, it’s officially quiet time. David plays legos quietly while I drink my Cafe Francais and eat my graham crackers. I might check more mail, read blogs, message boards, or read my book.
9am: I officially start work. I check my mail, start triaging issues and go back and forth between tasks until Nathaniel wakes up. Once he’s awake, we hug a little and make sure he’s calm and then he plays alone or with David while I work some more.
12pm: Time for lunch. Nathaniel eats veggies mixed with yogurt, and cereal. David has his green beans and maybe meatballs. I might or might not eat lunch. Generally I at least grab a banana. After lunch we play together for a bit and then I clean up and get back to work. The kids play together, laugh, and make a lot of noise. I might or might not put Nathaniel down for a second nap depending on what time he woke up from his morning nap.
4pm: Time to start dinner for the kids. David eats a cinnamon raisin bagel and yogurt. Nathaniel has more veggies, fruit, oatmeal or bread and some cheese or yogurt. For now, he’s more interested in trying new foods than David is. Tonight we tried beets and he liked them. After dinner it’s bathtime, books, getting dressed, and nursing. David is there, too, and makes noises and entertains Nathaniel and they peek behind the curtain together.
6pm: The kids are in bed. Nathaniel is likely sleeping and David’s playing with legos in his room. He tells me his two things he’s grateful for and then I give him a hug and a kiss. He goes to sleep somewhere between 6:30 and 8pm.
6:30pm: I put another cup of coffee, grab some snack on the go and it’s time to process my photos from the day. I then post my Daily Diary entry and write about my day on my blog. I write 3 things I’m grateful for and 2 things David’s grateful for. Then it’s time for the second art project of the day. Right now I am making all the catalysts that are scheduled to come up for the rest of the year.
8pm: Once the art is done, I generally surf a bit, read a bit and then it’s time to go to bed. I go upstairs and kiss David and fix his covers. I turn of Nathaniel’s video monitor and go to bed. Jake might or might not join me depending on when he’s getting up the next day. I struggle to fall asleep and then I wake up and do the whole thing over again. Gratefully and lovingly.
– June 2010 –
Journaling Reads:
I remember when I wanted to learn how to knit: I had to go find a local yarn store and buy some yarn and needles so the owner would teach me how to knit. She taught me how to cast on and basic knit and purl. And then I had to go back to learn how to cast off. It was so frustrating to have to go all the way to the store each time I made a mistake or had a follow up question.g.
All this was before YouTube and Vimeo and other online video sites came to bloom. This was before people made how-to videos completely for free and made them available to people like me for no reason except their generosity.
In the last few months, I’ve learned how to crochet, knit a hat, make a camera strap, create a cover for my book reader, knit in the round, create a zentangle, and tons of mixed media techniques, all without leaving my house.
The evolution of the internet and streaming media coupled with cheap video camera prices has meant that I can learn any skill at my convenience and I am very grateful for that.
I wasn’t sure of what to write for today. Sometimes I have ideas ahead of time, sometimes I write about something that just happened and other times I stare at the screen for a while and then I remember how tired I am and all the other items on my list for today and I start to doze off.
Today was one of those days.
Until I saw a tweet by Karen Maezen Miller which pointed to this post by Lindsey which then made me realize what today’s post was going to be about.
Attention.
Lindsey writes, “What we pay attention to flourishes. Attention is love. It is, after all, the only true thing of value we have.”
Isn’t that true? As she goes on to say attention is time and how we spend our time is how we spend our days (and life, of course.) But the part that I focused on isn’t only that what we pay attention becomes our life, but also that what we give attention to flourishes. There are obvious things like plants, cooking, etc. where you can see the actual “flourished” outcome of attention. And then there are the things that take a lot of time to flourish so each bit of attention moves us a little forward and the regular progress is harder to see. For example, art, music or even math. Things that take a long time and a lot of practice. But what is practice? a recurring attention.
And then there are those things that we pour attention to and we might never see the outcome. Or we might never prove that our attention is directly related to that outcome. Things like friendships, relationships, children. There is no doubt that each of these things flourish with attention but the direct outcome of attention might be hard to see. But attention is what keeps all relationships going. The more you give, the more you’re rewarded.
Another thing Lindsey said that really stuck with me was “A critical task of our lives is to truly see those we love for who they are, even when that means accepting that there are mysteries inside of them that we will never understand. To release them from the cage of what we so desperately want them to be, so that they may flourish into who they are.” To me, this is the best kind of attention. The kind that doesn’t judge or expect anything in return. The kind that gives. The kind of mother, wife, or friend I try to be. Imagine if you had a friend who gave you the gift of truly seeing and truly accepting you. Wouldn’t that be the most amazing gift you ever received?
So, I hope that each of you spend a little more time today seeing where you’re spending your attention. And who you could see and love without judgement. And remember that attention is love. Thank you Karen and Lindsey for reminding me of that today. I needed to hear it again.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve tried to do an art journal and for how long. Three-four years? I’ve done so many versions. All of which are half done. Just like a written journal,this is something I can’t seem to make a habit of. A month or so ago, I was in a really bummed mood and I said something about it on Facebook and the amazing Caroline of Maya Road sent me some Maya Road goodies in the mail to cheer me up (and cheer me up they did!) and just a few weeks ago my awesome friend Katie had also sent me a few things. So I dug into my stash of other MR stuff and since Caroline had sent me two awesome books with canvas and I religiously watch Donna’s amazing inspiration wednesdays, I decided this was all a sign to tackle this task again:
56. Create an art journal and fill all the pages
I took the binder and pockets from this album and the canvas pages from this one. Since I love color lately and I am trying to choose joy I decided to focus my album on happiness and went hunting for quotes around happiness.
I printed a bunch of them, painted my album and the pages in colorful colors and just had fun.
For the cover, I painted it with teal fluid Golden acrylics. Then I put it back on. I attached a prima flower I’ve had for a long time and painted the letters with magenta and then covered them with stickles. A little tag with the year and it was done.
I removed the rest of this cause this minibook is being published. Will bring it back in January
On the back, I put a reminder that I get to “choose” my days and to choose joy. And a little part of a doily.
I like the way the branch goes across my cover.
I originally painted the inside magenta. But then it felt too loud so I covered it with offwhite, seethrough cute tape I had so now it looks magenta but also a bit more interesting.
I painted the pages with Claudine’s paints, which I love. This quote says: “Some pursue happiness, others create it.”
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault”
“The greatest happiness you can have is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness. ~William Saroyan”
“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus”
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Openheim”
“For happiness one needs security, but joy can spring like a flower even from the cliffs of despair. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh”
“The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid. ~J.D. Salinger”
“You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you’ll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance. ~Lavetta Sue Wegman”
this one was for fun. i wanted it to look like two people were lying down, holding hands, looking up at the stars.
another just fun page with no quote.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~Mahatma Gandhi”
“A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else. – Bette Davis”
“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. ~Robert Frost”
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. ~John Barrymore”
“Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ~Janet Lane”
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust”
a little detail.
I covered the inside here with tape, too.
and finally a top look:
I can’t believe I finally finished an art journal. Not your typical one but I love love love it and it sits on my desk and reminds me to choose joy every day! Thank you so much, Deb!
Journaling Reads:
Just a few months ago, my little son, who is a seventeen months old, learned how to give hugs. His favorite person to hug is his older brother.
It has quickly become my favorite thing to photograph. I already have hundreds of pictures of the two of them hugging and I am pretty sure I will keep taking them for as long as they keep hugging.
I come from a culture where people touch a lot. We hug each other, we hold hands, we kiss each other on the cheek. When I first moved to the United States, I was amazed at how little people touch each other and I still feel sad about that so it makes me extra happy to see my boys hug. It is proven that hugging makes you feel happy and watching them hug makes me happy, too.
There are many downsides to having two kids instead of one. It’s a lot more work, the noise level is much higher and there’s the bickering. But watching them play together is a wonderful gift to me and watching them hug fills me with pure gratitude.
Today, during a chat with a really good friend, I started thinking about my wedding day. Here’s an occasion where we spend so much time trying to get it “just right.” Making sure the i’s are dotted and the t’s are crossed. The dress, flowers, food, guest list, thank you gifts. There are so many details and we spend hours working on them.
It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity after all. (If you’re really lucky.)
The thing is, when I think about my wedding day, here are three details I remember:
1. We got married under a chuppah which is a Jewish wedding canopy. It has four poles. They were held up by Jake’s two brothers, his cousin and my brother in law. In the middle of our ceremony, each of them was scheduled to say a few words explaining the significance of the chuppah. When it was Jake’s middle brother’s turn, he forgot his lines. He was in the middle of a sentence and then he stopped. A few seconds later (just as I whispered, it’s ok.) he went on as if I never forgot them in the first place.
2. As the rabbi talked, Jake’s youngest brother, who was standing to my left, sniffed so loudly that I couldn’t hear the rabbi. He did it several times and I was getting annoyed. When I finally looked over at him, I realized he was crying. A lot.
3. Before we walked down the aisle, my sister’s 3-year-old twin boys walked down and one of them was holding a basket of petals that he was supposed to scatter along the path. When he got to the beginning, my sister said, “Ok now” and he turned the whole basket upside down, dumping all the petals in that one spot.
Here’s what these three events have in common: they were all mess-ups, they all made me (and others) laugh, and as I look back, they are the events I remember most fondly. They can still put a smile on my face eight years later.
If my wedding day is supposed to be so special, so perfect, why is it that what I remember most tenderly are the imperfect moments?
It’s because life is imperfect. It’s messy. It’s about forgetting your lines, sniffing loudly because your tears of joy (or sorrow) are so overwhelming, and doing things out of cue, messing them up. Life’s not perfect. It’s not all roses and white dresses. And when we work so hard to create the “perfect” environment, it’s like everyone’s holding their breath, trying too hard. And then someone makes a mistake and we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. We don’t have to act perfectly any more. Real life has seeped into the moment. It’s there to remind us that nothing is perfect. Moments of imperfection are just signs of life. Signs of being real.
I hope you take a moment to remember your moments of imperfection today. And remember that next time you try to create the perfect meal, house, art, job, children, event, or life. Remember that what makes them that much more wonderful is the little moments of imperfection and be grateful for them.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
I decided to do this a few months ago. In my family, we have a tradition of giving big, thoughtful presents for important birthdays like we made a video of all of his friends for my Dad’s 50th and a website with messages and photos from all her friends for my mom’s 50th and I made a book for my sister’s 30th. Even though Jake turned 36 this last week, I decided I didn’t need to wait until his 40th to do something special for him.
59. Do Something Special for Jake’s Birthday
Since I’ve started scrapbooking, I’ve learned the value of preserving memories. Actual stories from our lives. I think they are magic in every sense of the word. So for his birthday, I wanted to give my husband the gift of stories. Stories from his life. I made this long list of people from his life. Here are the categories I made:
- family
- elementary + middle school (he went to the same school for 9 years)
- high school
- college
- job 1, 2, 3, etc. individually
- friends of parents (people who knew him as a little baby, people who’ve been family friends for a long time)
- disconnected (people he met unrelated to any of the above but are still significant in his life)
My first task was to grow this list of names. I’ve been with my husband for 16 years so I knew a lot of the people from each of the categories except elementary school. I emailed some of the people I knew and asked for ideas. I then had to figure out everyone’s emails. This, too, was a big task. I went through his Facebook account and messaged some of the people to ask for their information. I didn’t want to add them as friends as I worried he might notice some trend. For the few disconnected people left, I randomly dropped sentences into conversation like “oh have you talked to so and so lately, what’s their email?” It sounds too obvious but i did it very rarely over a month so he didn’t notice it.
Once I had my list, I emailed all of them explaining what I was doing, telling them it was a surprise, and giving them ten days to do it. This is one of those favors where it takes about ten minutes to do but you put it off forever so I figured the longer the deadline, the more people will put it off.
Then I waited. And then I emailed “this is almost due” email about 2-3 days prior and another “you’re now officially late” email about a week after the due date. I then emailed “this is my drop-dead-date” emails to the few people who still hadn’t done it. And finally “you REALLY need to do this” emails to the few people I thought were really important to have in the book. After months of emails, followups, and gathering, it was finally time to put the book together.
A few years ago, in anticipation for Ali’s BPS class, I’d asked Jake’s mom to bring me childhood photos of him. So I had them scanned. I took a bunch of them that I loved and mixed them with a bunch of recent photos of him with the kids, etc. and I had my words and my photos. All in all, I’d emailed around 100 people and heard back from around 75 of them. Not bad at all.
I decided to do the book using blurb so I went to their site and downloaded their software. I decided not to do anything in chronological order. I mixed the photos and mixed the people. Just laid it all out the way I thought looked most fun. I feel like at any moment in time, we’re a mix of all of our past so it made sense to mix it all together.
It took me two-three solid days to put it together and another week to adjust it. I then uploaded and ordered and it was here a few weeks before his birthday.
A typical layout. This one is one person’s story. Some spreads had two people, one in each page.
I gave it to Jake at 1am on his birthday. I wanted it to be private, just the two of us. I think he really did like it. My hope is that it showed him how amazing he is and how he’s left a trace in so many people’s lives.
Here’s what i put on the dedication page:
My love, I know that special presents are supposed to be saved for big birthdays but I decided that the round numbers were overrated and that the best time to give a gift from the heart is now. Every year with you is special and your 36th birthday is just as important as any.
One of the things I’ve always loved about you is that you are one of those people who leaves an impression. People don’t forget you. You touch their lives in a way only you can. And, this year, I wanted you to see just how many people’s lives you’ve touched. Just how many people care about you and just how much.
Life is a collection of memories and I wanted you to have a little book that shows you some of the stories other people have with you. The dents you’ve made in their life. We all love you so much.
All of our lives are better because you’ve been in them Jake. Thank you for being you.
Happy Birthday!
and on the next page, I added this quote I’d found on Ali’s page a long time ago.
Our lives are a flood of images and we are collectors who keep a strange assortment of images: moments of extreme emotion, pain, beauty, and fear stand out. Events we’re taught to remember: weddings, graduations, births, deaths. Then there are the millions of images that we can’t shake out of our heads, that come to us at strange times – things we can’t remember why we remember: the gold threads in an old stereo speaker, the way the light hit a thousand cars in a parking lot by the water, the face of a stranger in a restaurant, a friend standing in a pool – you can’t remember where, slapping the water with the flat of her hand. Memory is a sieve that holds curious things. A life is a trail of strange, colorful memories. – Risa Mickenberg
In the end, I loved how it all came together. As could be expected, I did make some mistakes and leave out two people and had a third one with a story sent too late and there was one small portion with white text so I will fix all that and get the book reprinted (another wonderful side effect of having done it digitally like this.)
But I am truly glad I didn’t wait another 4 years. This for me to remember not to save my “best” ideas. Do them now. There will be more.
Here’s to the power of stories.
I love you my amazing husband. Happy thirty-six and to many many more.
Journaling Reads:
I read a lot of blogs and I have to admit that I don’t often take the time to comment when the content really speaks to me. Partly, it‘s because I use an RSS reader so it takes several more clicks to actually be able to leave a comment, but mostly it’s cause I am lazy.
The thing is, just like most people, I imagine, I love getting comments on my blog. I love reading people‘s opinions, advice, thoughts and kind words in response to my words or photos or art. One of the reasons I blog is to connect with others and comments are the ultimate way for me to see and cherish that connection.
So I want to thank each person who takes the extra time to make sure to visit my blog each day and leave a few words. I know time is very precious and we only have a limited amount of it so the few minutes you share with me are most appreciated.
This is also a reminder to me to take a few minutes each day and leave kind comments for others, too.
Thanks to my little boy, I woke up at 4:15am this morning.
I spent the whole day in a daze and exhausted. This also meant that I was much crankier than usual. As I am sure it’s true for others, too, I tend to be quite negative when I am cranky. A few hours into my day, I was already tired, whiny, and angry. And I still had quite a few important to-do items on my list.
Mid-morning, my older son called me from school to say that he’d lost his backpack and, with it, his lunch. I could tell he sounded really sad. I told him I’d be right there with another lunch and snack for him. I raced over there. All the way there, I was worried about the bag and its contents. Now we’d have to buy a new bag, lunch box, water bottle, jacket, and book. Not to mention an afternoon trip to Target which I really didn’t want to make.
When I got there, I knocked on the door and gave the teacher his new lunch. And then I looked around and found his bag on one of the hooks one class over. I then knocked again and took the new lunch back and drove back home. On the way back, I was annoyed that I had to make the trip there for nothing and thought about all the time and effort I wasted.
Then I stopped myself.
I obviously needed a good talking to and there was no one else to give it to me so I gave myself a short, snappy lecture. I told myself that for the rest of the day I didn’t get to be cranky. Instead of looking at it negatively, how about turning it around and finding the thing to be grateful about?
For example, I could be grateful that I was home when the school called and grateful that we live close enough to school for me to be able to deliver him another lunch. Grateful that we had some more of the same food he loves. Grateful that I had a spare lunchbox. And on the way back, I could be grateful that I now wouldn’t have to make a trip to Target or spend any more money. Or that David now gets to eat his original lunch. I could even be thankful that I now had tomorrow’s lunch mostly packed.
For the rest of the day, I forced myself to change perspective and turn my negative conversations around. It didn’t make me any less tired but it did make me enjoy my moments more. And considering how precious each moment is, I figured it was the best gift I could give myself on a day like this.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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