Daily Photos – April 30 2009



I know this photo is blurry but I love this image of my mom showing Nathaniel to my sister over iChat so it was going to be my photo of the day despite the lack of quality.

Today was a good day. Nathaniel and Mom and I went out to lunch and got some sunshine. We then came back home and chatted with my sister a bit and that was it for the eventful part of the day. Oh, and, his umbilical cord already fell off. Yeah, that’s about it. Honestly, I love how quiet and empty the days are. It forces me to rest more and be calmer.



Here’s David playing at school and the second one is a baloon string he attached to his ninja to make a ninja parachute. He spent hours and hours playing with that little toy.







And of course, here’s the little one. I promised myself there’d be daily photos of him, especially because I did that for David in his first year.



Catalyst 59 – I am so Sorry



I forgot to post this since I was having a baby when it went up. Last week’s catalyst was: Apologize to someone.



Here’s my text:



I try to live my life with as few regrets as possible and when I hurt someone or feel bad about something, I generally try to apologize immedaitely so that it’s not something that I drag out for a long time.

One of the rare exceptions is an old friend. Many many many years ago, this boy asked me out. He would have been my first boyfriend and for a plethora of reasons, I said no. I told him some of the reasons but the really big reason, the one I wasn’t so proud of even then, I didn’t tell him. He guessed it and knew it but I never admitted to it. We stayed friends on and off for a very long time and still talk today and I have always regretted having turned him down then but we never had the opportunity to date ever again.

A few years ago, I took this course that had me reevaluate my life and coincidentally, I was planning a trip back home after the course. So the first thing I did was call him up and apologize. I met with him and I told him the real reason I didn’t have the guts to go out with him then and how much and how deeply I regretted not telling him all these years even though he knew it and even worse how much I regretting missing our opportunity.

He was incredibly graceful. Not only did he forgive me but he told me that maybe things worked out much better this way. Had we dated, he said, we might have gone out for a while and then broken up and never talked again. Whereas this way, we got to stay friends for another twenty years and get to be in each others’ lives even now.

That apology and hearing his response was one of the most healing moments of my life and I wanted to commemorate it with this piece of art.

Giving Birth to Nathaniel

I want to capture this before I forget all the details.



When I went to the doctor on Thursday and she told me I was 4cm dilated, I sort of had a hunch that the little one might come that night. I even went to bed telling Jake that tonight was likely the night, (tho I must admit I’d said similar things before).

Around 3am, I woke up feeling a bit funny. Had to go to the bathroom three times in a row ad had a bit of pain but nothing too strong. I lay down in bed but couldn’t fall asleep. Jake had to get up to go to work at 4am so I didn’t want to wake him up and decided to get up. As I got up, I felt some water and thought maybe my water broke. A trip to the bathroom showed some fresh blood so I got worried and called the hospital. They told me it could be my water and to come in.

So I woke up Jake and told him I thought it was time. We packed up the few things that were left, got some clothes for David, woke him up and piled in the car. Halfway to the hospital, we realized we didn’t have any shoes for David and went back home to get them. I still had no pain and was starting to worry that maybe it was all false and Jake was going to miss work on a particularly bad day to miss work. He kept trying to send an email as we drove to let them know he might not come in. We pulled over to do that, too, and then finally got to the hospital.



He dropped me off and went to park with David. I got one of the guards to walk me to the labor and delivery area and one of the nurses put me in a room to check if my water had indeed broken. It was 4:20am. As it turned out, it hadn’t. While I felt terrible about hauling everyone to the hospital, the nurse said she wanted to keep me there a while longer to see how far apart my contractions were. They were about 5mins apart. This normally would mean going back home but since it was my second labor, she said she wanted to check how dilated I was and that I might have to stay since things might progress pretty fast.

As it turned out, I was 5cm so she told me I wasn’t going home, it was likely that I’d have the baby in 4-5 hours. At this point it was 4:45am or so. Theoretically, Jake could still go into the city, trade and come back. But we decided that wasn’t a very good idea and that he should stay just in case. They moved me to the labor room and another nurse came to get my information. By now it was a little past 5am. As she put in the needles for the blood collection (for cord blood) and for the IV, I called my mom and told her Jake was bringing David over. The nurse couldn’t get my blood to come out so she put the IV in and decided to try the other arm. My arm is very black and blue even now. And she still couldn’t get the full 3 vials the cord blood registry requested. She sent them 2.5 vials.



The nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural and I told her that I thought I could wait a bit longer. The contractions were pretty bad when they came but they were still pretty far apart and didn’t seem to last very long. She got a bunch more infromation and asked me a few more times about the epidural in the next 20 mins. I finally told her to go ahead and call the anesthesiologist. As it turned out he was beginning someone else’s epidural and would be over in around 20 mins. Around 5:40 or so Jake came back. He had dropped off David and gone back home to get some chargers we forgot. A few minutes after he came, my contractions got pretty bad. After one really really bad one, the nurse decided maybe she should check me right then so she dropped everything and checked. As it turned out I was 9.5cm dilated. Which meant I was in full labor mode and it was too late for epidural or anything else.



They put an emergency call to the doctor on call and asked a resident to come over just in case. Two more horrifying contractions later, just knowing I wasn’t going to get the epidural was freaking me out. The resident told me that the baby was coming so I just had to push. She popped my water (which still hadn’t broken) and told me to push. As I felt I might be splitting in half, I pushed once really hard. Just then the anesthesiologist came and, with one look at me, he reaized it was too late for him and left. I begged the resident to get the baby out and pushed one more time. On the third push, I felt the baby come out and we were done. It was 6:04am.



As I had requested, they gave the baby to me immediately and cleaned him while he was on me. He was really really purple. And it turns out his cord was wrapped around his head so it’s a good thing I didn’t have to push too long, we might have ended up in a c-section. He turned pink pretty quickly and his 1-min apgar score was 8 and his 5-minute one was a 9.



At this point, the doctor showed up and when she realized the baby was out, she started to collect the cord blood as the little one and I bonded.



And then they finally took him away to weigh and measure him. 6lbs 7oz and 20.5 inches.







After that, we spent some time relaxing in the labor room, calling our parents etc. The nurse left for the morning nurse who turned out to be the mother of one of David’s classmates which was HUGELY lucky because she got us a highly-desired private room at the hospital. On the way to our room, we stopped by the nursery for a K-shot and his first bath. And then we finally got to settle into our room and start the recovery process.

All in all, an extremely quick labor. It was 1 hour and 44 minutes from the time I arrived at the hospital to the time he was born. Thank God Jake didn’t go to work and had he spent an extra few minutes at home, he might have missed the whole labor. I got realy lucky and had no tears, nothing at all really so I had almost nothing to cause recovery issues. Most importantly, the little one turned out to be perfectly healthy and wonderful.



Here’s to life as a family of four.

Daily Photos – April 29 2009



Here’s David watching Nathaniel sleep. I was making him food and he said he’d stay here while I made his food to make sure the baby wasn’t scared. Isn’t he awesome? He really is being the best brother.



Another relatively eventless day. We took David to school togehter, came back, had breakfast and both of us took a nap. I then finished some errands like bills, insurance paperwork, thank you letters etc. And then mom came over with some lunch and I took another nap. A little TV and going through the baby kit I’d bought for Nathaniel and we’re about to go to sleep for the night. Well, at least until the next nursing break.



So far, he’s really the sweetest kid. I am so blessed to have two wonderful sons. I don’t know what I did to deserve it but I am so so thankful.



Here are two shots from school today. David playing and Nathaniel looking around, taking it all in.

Daily Photos – April 28 2009



Just in case you thought I forgot about this one. He’s always my first love and he’s so wonderful so don’t you worry. He is such a great big brother. He helped me so much this morning to clean up and get ready for school and in just every little way. He really is an angel.

A little low on the sleep but all in all a great day. I managed to get it all coordinated so Nathaniel nursed on time to fall asleep right as we needed to leave for David’s school so he slept the whole way there and back. And then woke to nurse when we got home. Big success. My mom came over for the day and we did some planning etc. until it was time to take Nathaniel to his 3-day check up. He’s great and gained a lot of weight back already. Yey.

Some luch/dinner and my day was over. It all went really smoothly and I am hoping the same for tonight. Cross your fingers for me. And, of course I’ll leave you with a photo:

Daily Photos – April 27 2009



Our first day home went relatively smooth. Nathaniel was up and down during the night but nothing other than expected. David slept like a champ and he’s such a sweet big brother. He’s being quiet and playing next to us as I nurse Nathaniel. He gives them hugs and kisses his feet.


I am trying to pace myself since I know there will be many months of this so I am resting as much as I can and I even managed to take a shower today so I feel much better. Trying to accomplish one small thing each day but not expecting much of myself. Jake’s going to go to work tomorrow so I wil be taking David to school with Nathaniel; we’ll see how that goes.



I am still sore all over which is really the one thing bugging me. I know it’s expected but it’s really annoying to feel black and blue all over. Oh well. It shall pass.

Daily Photos – April 26 2009



We’re finally home. Safe and sound. The little one seems to like it here so far. He’s been really wonderful. Nursing and peeing and pooping and sleeping and doing all the right things he should be doing, thankfully.



I am feeling pretty tired but ok overall. I don’t have the energy to write about the labor yet but it was all very quick and smooth. So we’re all feeling tired but lucky and blessed. Thank you so much for all your kind words.

Daily Photos – April 25 2009



Still in the hospital but all is great. Little boy is nursing ike a champ. Big brother already read him a book:

We’re all doing great. A family of four now. Going home tomorrow, will write more then.

Daily Photos – April 24 2009



Nathaniel James. Born 6:04am. 6lbs 7oz. 20.5inches.

Welcome to the world, little boy. We love you.

Daily Photos – April 23 2009



And yet another productive day if you can believe it. I had a doctor’s appointment this morning and it turns out I am 3.5-4cm dilated. About halfway effaced. So I think it’s pretty close now but I honestly don’t know. We’ve also decided to keep the little one’s blood cord. Nothing like making these decisions so last minute.



Then we took a trip to IKEA and came back home to rest a bit. Another trip to Crate and Barrel and the day was over. David was too tired today and threw a huge tantrum when I came to pick him up. I have no patience or strength anymore of course but I tried to be nice to him. I love him so so much. He’s such the sweetest boy. Here he is, with his best friend Joseph at school.



Happy Thursday. Let’s see when the little one decides to show up.

Daily Photos – April 22 2009



And yet a third productive day! yey!! Got a lot lot done today and I am happy to feel like I’m making a lot of progress on accomplishing things I want to do before the little one arrives.



Not much else to write today. Except: Happy Birthday Michelle!! Love you.

Daily Photos – April 21 2009



Another wonderful day. The worst part of today was the totally crazy swelling I have on my ankles and feet. With David, my feet never swelled. But now, they are three times their actual size. Ugh.



A quiet-ish day at home today. Mom and I figured out a bunch more errands, I am washing the last of the baby’s clothes and I think we’re pretty much set now. I am officially getting nervous about labor too so I guess it’s getting close now.



It’s been really really hot here which doesn’t help with the sweating and swelling. But I think it’s going to start getting cooler tomorrow so I am looking forward to that. Thankfully.



Here’s a snapshot of the sunset I caught on the way home from dinner tonight. Magnificent.