I know it’s the crappiest photo and, in retrospect, I should have taken a screenshot instead of a photo but I don’t care. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONA!!! My wonderful sister is born on this very special day and I am so sorry I am not there to give her a huge hug in person. But I am still very thankful for computers and the fact that I was able to talk to her and see her this morning.
Little boy had a rough night last night, he was up on and off all night. Have I mentioned he woke up with pinkeye yesterday? Yeah, that was fun. I think his nose is all stuffed up so it’s been bothering him and keeping him up at night. Jake also had a rough night cause he drove all the way to SFO to realize he missed his flight and had to come back home and fly out this morning. It did mean I got to spend some time with him on Valentine’s day which was fun but all of us are a bit worn out from the long night.
Here’s Jake and David checking out a special lego set Jake owns. Another daddy-David moment.
I’m officially ready for my long, relaxing weekend to begin. I have some fun movies to watch, chocolate, and a few good books to curl up with. What more can a girl ask for?
Happy Valentine’s Day. May you have a wonderful one filled with health, peace, and love.
A few weeks ago my good friend Jess came over for a playdate between her son and David. While the two played, we chatted. At some point, Jess said “you get so much done!” and I told her how there’s a long list of things I don’t do (like cooking) so I have more time. She insisted that even so I was more productive than the usual person.
I am not sure if that’s true but it is something I’ve heard before so it got me thinking. And I think I’ve realized the two important factors to what helps me get things done.
The first one is commitment. Or maybe more like a neurosis. When I decide to do something, I feel an inexplicable sense of responsibility. I don’t like to leave things unfinished. I’d rather never start than leave unfinished. It doesn’t matter if it’s for work or for my personal todo list. Once I decided to do it, I will do it. So this commitment part is the first crucial element since without thinking it’s important, it’s relatively hard to choose to get something done instead of relaxing.
The second has to do more with timing. If the task can be finished in a day, I will finish it. I’d rather lose sleep than leave it unfinished. Not only will I never do it but it drives me completely insane when others do it. That’s why I was up late last night moving karenika to its new domain. I couldn’t bear the idea of this task dragging over days.
But there are many tasks that cannot be finished in a single day. Like the 365 photos or weekly tags or scrapbooking or writing a book for example. For those, I use another trick: routine. As much as possible, I try to establish a routine so that it’s a recurring event on my schedule. I take my daily photos every morning unless I know we have an upcoming event later in the day (like the doctor’s appointment we had earlier this week.) I do my tags each weekend (sometimes sooner if I have an inspiring idea). I do my AMM kit the first weekend after I receive it. I just sit and do it. I don’t give myself the option of postponing.
I know that there are a lot of other tricks to productivity (like “Eat the frog” which is doing the thing you’re least looking forward to, first) but it turns out, for me, what matters most for long term productivity (especially for non-work related things that don’t really have to be done) is the commitment and setting up a routine.
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage and commitment lately. As I’ve hinted in the last couple of weeks, we’ve been hearing a lot of bad news from friends lately. Several marriages or long-term relationships (and I mean really long term) are falling apart and the news is making us sad. This happened several years ago when we first moved to San Diego, too. At the time, four or five couples called us in a matter of two weeks to let us know about their divorce and it had put me in a similar mood that I’ve been in for the last several weeks.
Pensive. Scared. Sad.
I am not sure why this news seems to come in batches or maybe the batches are more memorable so I don’t remember the intermittent ones as much. Either way, I’ve been really sad thinking about my friends and all the years they devoted into their relationship and how it’s dissolved. Especially when there are children involved. I still remember my parents’ divorce very clearly. Even though our story ended wonderfully with my parents getting back together, I know that’s really rare and divorce is really hard on kids. (so is a bad marriage, i know.)
A few weeks ago dooce had a post about which one is harder: marriage or motherhood. Of course, they each have their own challenges and it depends on the circumstances but one of the things someone said stuck with me: it’s much easier to take your marriage for granted. You know a baby/kid needs help and care. You don’t tend to forget that often. Yet, we don’t always remember the same thing about marriage.
Marriage (or relationships) need attention and care, too. Your significant other, as a person, needs attention and the marriage itself also needs care. A lot of communication, reserved time, tenderness, forgiveness, and love. But, I think most of this gets lost in the shuffle. Between work, taking care of kids and keepping daily motions of life, we tend to forget or ignore the little moments. We let resentment build up or, even worse, we simply give up and let things rot. And then, sometimes years later, we look up and realize there’s nothing left. That’s what I am most scared of because I never want to let that happen.
Despite our bad moments, I know exactly why I chose Jake over others in the world and I know everything I love about him and all the ways in which he’s a perfect fit for my life. I don’t want neglect to wear that out. I want to be the kind of person who remembers to take care of our love and relationship just like I care for David. I know that some days I just get too lazy or too tired.
But then weeks like these come and I realize that the cost of such laziness is way too high.
Yesterday was David’s 4-year checkup. Our doctor is so nice and sweet and good with David that it’s a joy to watch them. Here he is letting David listen to his own heartbeat. We also did an eye test and a hearing test and everything else. All seems to be well for our healthy little one. Knock on wood.
David was so funny during the hearing test that we had to do it three times. The rule was that you had to raise your hand when you hear a sound and put it down when the sound goes away. David was so distracted that he’d either forget to raise his hand or forget to put it down. Finally after the third time we explained, he did focus for a few minutes and passed with flying colors.
This week’s question was “if i could do it all again, would i change
anything?”
I don’t believe in looking back. When I make a decision, I think for a
long time and I work hard to make sure I believe it’s the best decision
I can make with what information I have available at the time. This way,
I don’t regret anything because I know I didn’t do it haphazardly. I
believe life is about moving forward and looking forward. I also firmly
believe that we don’t know how the paths we didn’t take would have ended
up, so I wouldn’t change anything.
This week’s technique was inspired by the amazing Loretta Grayson,
specifically this
piece. I’ve always wanted to try sewing more creatively and I used
acrylic paint and the back of my brush for the while lines. It doesn’t
come close to comparing to her beautiful art but it was still a lot of
fun to experiment.
I am combining Emily Falconbridge’s art journal questions with trying a
new technique each week. You can see the see full list: here
Love the funny looks he has. I know it’s been a lot of David lately but
I love them and want to make sure I get a lot of them. David’s been a
bit sadder and moodier than usual and I am not sure exactly why.
Otherwise he’s just perfect as usual. Tomorrow’s our yearly checkup so I
guess we’ll see if something is wrong.
I’m doing well otherwise too. Trying to rest as much as possible and
trying to get mentally ready for the little one.
Little boy wanted his teddy bear along this morning which was really odd
as he’s not the teddy bear type. But it looks like he was not being
himself all day cause when I went to pick him up they said he was sad
and out of it all day and wanted to go home. They had even called me but
I missed it cause I was in a meeting which, of course, made me feel sad
and guilty.
I’ve been ok today. I think while Mondays are the hardest meeting-wise,
I am most rested on Mondays so I go through them more easily. David and
I spent the evening being lazy since neither of us felt like being
productive so we lay on the couch and watched TV as we snuggled up.
Happy Monday.
This week’s catalyst was: Create
art around a secret you’ve been keeping.
Here are my words:
It may not seem so, but this catalyst was incredibly cathartic for me. I
spent my whole life being the girl with the diaries and the girl with
secrets. I would never tell anyone anything about me. Anyone. Ever. Many
good friends complained how it wasn’t fair that I knew everything about
them but they knew nothing about me. I agreed it wasn’t fair but I just
couldn’t get myself to share.
But somewhere along the way, I shared once and then once again and then
I realized the healing power of sharing. The connection it created, the
way it helped me resolve my problems just by talking about them. And
imagine my surprise when I sat down to do this week’s catalyst and
realized I had no secrets. Nothing. I feel so relaxed and peaceful. When
it comes to keeping others’ secrets, I am still a perfect confidant who
never tells a soul but now I don’t have to fill dairies with my own
secrets anymore. I have kind souls to share with and I do so as needed.
I am eternally thankful for that.
Happy Birthday little boy! Today he turned four. I can’t believe he’s
four already. The years really are short.
He has grown up to be such an amazing boy. Kind, generous, sweet, and so
loving. Funny, silly, and fun. I am so so proud to be his mom.
This is how he waited while we were singing so he could blow the candles
as soon as we were done. (I blurred the other kids since I didn’t want
to worry about having them on the internet. And here’s one more after
the candles are out.
I don’t know if it’s nesting or OCD but I have been wanting to cleanup
and organize David’s toys for weeks so on our trip to Costco for David’s
party, we bought some containers and some ziplock bags and I’ve just
been cleaning, sorting, and organizing all day.
It was a lot of work but it looks so much better now.
And here’s a little shot of David. This is the face he makes when he’s
done something wrong but says “It’s ok Mommy. It’s ok.” When he wants me
to let him know that it’s ok and I am not mad. Who could ever be mad at
this little boy?
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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