Journaling Reads:
You like to hide things in the most obscure places. I open a drawer in
the bathroom and find graham crackers and a sippy cup full of water. Our
drain pipes are home to little, colorful balls that you’ve tucked away.
The basketball pole has a piece of toast with cream cheese in it. The
list goes on and on.

You’re curious about every nook and cranny of the house. You think of
the most creative storage places and I don’t think you remember 80% of
the places you leave your stuff in and, often times, they sit there
until I stumble upon them, sometimes weeks later. At times, you find
them yourself and laugh with joy at your discovery.

Little David, life with you never has a dull moment. Each time I uncover
a new storage space you made up, I marvel at your creativity. It’s
become a daily game for me. I wake up and I can’t wait to see the new
set of surprises you’ve left me.

And finally one from this weekend.


Journaling Reads:

Daddy and I are quite religious about what time we put you down. We had
some problems getting you to stay asleep in the early months, so we
adopted a very structured routine and have stuck to it every day.



Until a few weeks ago.



Our good friends, Manu and Hana decided to get married right during the
time we put you to bed, so instead of getting a babysitter, we decided
to bring you along. We figured if you stay up late for one night, it
wouldn’t make the world end. I didn’t tell Daddy but I was nervous about
how you might behave and whether we’d have to leave during the ceremony.



But I was wrong.



You were an angel the whole time. You read your book, ate bread, drank
water, played with crayons and even cheered at the end when everyone
clapped. At the end of the night, when it got dark, the restaurant lit
up little candles all along the tables. You’d never seen such little
fires before and you were absolutely fascinated with them. Looking at
them, touching them, and especially blowing them out. You leaned into
the little flames and puffed as hard as you could. I was having so much
fun watching you that I forgot to tell you not to do it.



My little David, it turns out the world doesn’t end when we keep you up
once in a blue moon. It can even be a little bit of fun.



Okay, maybe more than a little bit.

Journaling Reads:
Before you were born, I promised myself that I would be a happy person.
I kept reading stories about kids who grew up with sad moms and how they
blamed themselves for the sorrow. I used to get sad easily and I told
myself that it would have to stop that. You deserved better and I was
determined to make it happen. I put positive, inspirational messages all
over the house and reminded myself daily that my attitude was going to
change. I wasn’t sure how it would happen since I had been this way for
thirty years and old habits die hard, but I refused to worry about the
how and just knew that it would have to happen. You deserved that much.
I would work night and day if I had to.

It turns out that much effort was completely unnecessary. The moment you
came out, my personality shifted. I felt healthier and happier. More
fulfilled. I thought it might be the high from the birth and later the
hormones from nursing. I kept making up reasons for why my sad old self
hadn’t returned. I waited for it to rear its ugly head any moment now.

Two years after the birth, even after the breastfeeding, I am still
happy, David. I think it’s time for me to admit that it’s just you. You
make me happy. Your joyful sounds, your funny imitations, even your
crazy tantrums make my day. Lately, you started imitating the car
sound. You close your hands into fists and put them in a circle like
you’re driving a car and then you run around the house, moving your
hands back and forth, making the noise, and spitting everywhere in the
process. Your dad and I can’t help but laugh. You are a perfect little
boy when it comes to entertaining yourself and your exuberance and joy
is contagious. Thank you, little boy, for making me a truly happier person.

Journaling Reads:
Today you found a pen in your drawer. You took the envelope on the floor
and ran away to the living room. Normally, I’d run after you to make
sure you’re not drawing all over the walls, but I didn’t. I was busy, so
I let you go.

A few minutes later, when I came to the living room, I found you on the
couch, quietly drawing on your envelope. Not on the walls, not on the
couch, just on the envelope.

I love that you love to draw and I hate that we can’t give you pens all
the time because you haven’t learned to differentiate between walls and
paper yet. I want to encourage you. I love looking at what you create.
How hard you concentrate and how much you obviously enjoy it.

Journaling Reads:
You have many toys you like to play with, but nothing makes you jump
with joy as much as balls. Balls in all shapes and sizes are your
favorite things to play with. When Daddy found his box of old squash
balls, he put them on the floor and waited for you to discover them. It
didn’t take you very long. When you saw the little, unopened boxes, you
meticulously picked up, turned over, tried to open, and finally tore
through every box. There were over fifteen boxes and each time you
successfully opened one, you yelled, “A ball!!” with enthusiasm. The
excitement didn’t diminish one bit from the first box to the sixteenth.
You childish wonder and joy made us laugh every single time. My amazing
son, I hope you never lose the enthusiasm with which you live your life.

Journaling Reads:
Today I stayed home from work. It was a day full of firsts. We went to
MyGym for free play and you said, “slide” for the first time. You played
Simon Says for the first time. You told me to sit across from you so we
could rock back and forth in the rocking boat. When we were in the
backyard, you told me you were pooping. Today, we went to an Italian
restaurant for dinner and you sat on the bench, right next to me, and
behaved beautifully.

David, I know you have firsts every day of your life and I know I miss
thousands of them. I’m always sad about missing all those special
moments that we will never get to have together and all the memories I
won’t get to capture.

But today was an exception. Today I got to experience them all. I got to
soak you in and I got to be a part of the person whom I love, the little
boy who’s changing every minute of every day.

Today was the best day ever.