May 2016 – Choosing Means – 04

Today’s card says: Sometimes choosing means doing nothing. Nothing that others might do. Doing nothing all day. Choosing to just rest and be obligated to no one. Choosing to do what would let you rest.

Can you tell I wrote this one when I was sick? After I returned from Zurich, I felt my regular discombobulation and haziness for a week and then I woke up in the middle of the night on Thursday shivering and coughing. I took my temperature and it was 101. I continued to get sicker and sicker for the next week. This, in the middle of the Tech Challenge finals, Nathaniel’s birthday, and several other commitments I could not get out of.

In between all the events, I basically lay on the couch and moved as little as possible. I felt nauseous and tired 24/7. Last week, I finally went to the doctor because my chest started hurting and apparently I have bruised things due to excessive coughing. So that was fun. I am finally, finally recovering a bit and remembering how it feels to be okay again. It took much longer than I had hoped and, of course, it came at a very inopportune time.

Had I written these words yesterday, I would have felt okay whining about all this but I visited a good friend this morning who has had a terrible skiing accident and has had to be off her feet for months now and her whole life has been turned upside down. Sort of puts things in perspective of course.

My life is often full to the brim. I work a lot, I spend a lot of time at my kids’ school, I do life coaching, I do art, I read. I spend my minutes. Even though I do sleep a lot each night, I still don’t rest enough. It’s been so long since I took vacation that I get emails from work that I should “take vacation soon!” which means I’ve accumulated all the vacation I can.

Resting is one of the things I don’t do well. I feel obligations all day long, to my work, to my kids, to Jake, to the school, I can go on and on. But lately, I’ve basically dropped all of it on the floor. I do what must absolutely be done and I rest the rest of the time. Sometimes the universe forces me to remember that I need to make the choice to rest.


Choosing Means is a Monthly Project for May 2016. You can read more about my projects for 2016 here.

1 comment to May 2016 – Choosing Means – 04

  • Cheryl

    Strange how that Universe thingie works, eh?

    Just remember…if you don’t listen and you blink, life may never be the same. Just do whatever your body requires.

    The voice of experience.

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