Why I Sometimes Hate Email



Since I work from home, I do a lot of email correspondance. One of the things I’ve noticed lately is that people feel a lot more comfortable being rude over email.

It must have to do with the fact that they don’t have to visualize a human being on the other end. Some people just let it all out and say stuff you would never say to an actual human being. When I get one of those emails, I don’t even bother to write back anymore. I pick up the phone and call the person. I start the conversation on a very cordial and kind tone and they change almost instantly.

Within a minute or two, they are apologizing. Listing the reasons why they had the assholish tone in the email and how stressed out they are and how they were having a bad day, etc. We then move to the part where I explain to them that it’s perfectly understandable and we all have bad days and then we manage to actually talk about the issue and often resolve it without much problem.

They didn’t need to send the nasty email for me to call them. Nice goes much farther than nasty ever did. Nasty means I am never going to bend over backwards for you. Nasty means I’d never bend the rules for you. Rules were invented for me to have to enforce them on the nasty people. They’re my protection. So why go with the nasty approach?

I just urge everyone to remember that even if it’s easier and faster and doesn’t require personal confrontation, it doesn’t mean that an email is not read by a human. I can’t stand people who don’t have the balls to say something to my face and choose to write it and send it away instead.

Fuck’em.

9 comments to Why I Sometimes Hate Email

  • Cheryl

    Bang on~

    What goes around, comes around and I’ll be there as an observer…laughing my sox off.

  • Spike

    I’ve been watching Dharma & Greg lately. Two questions: How long has that series been on? Who is Dharma and what else has she done/where is she now?

    Now another question: Who are you?

    Thanks for an answer.

  • Sorry…I pressed enter by accident.

    Yes, I have received plenty of rude emails. Seems that people don’t think there is a sense of accountability with an email, that you can’t come back at them.

    It’s worse for them, though, in the long run. For two reasons. First, I am a visual learner, and I will remember things I read more than I will things I hear (although I don’t forget either easily, especially if they’re rude). Secondly, I do save my emails, which may come back to haunt them (“Oh, I never said THAT!” “You didn’t? It’s right here!”)

    Seems that common courtesy has gone out the window in day-to-day interactions in general.

  • oso

    LOL – but would you say ‘fuck em’ to their face?

  • karenika

    well…. i have become much meaner 🙂

  • Rude email…*sighs* I dread of getting them. If these email comes from casual friends or people that I do not know too well, I just delete them. There is no point to reply….by using up your “energy”. They are those people that I would say “fuck ’em”. On other hand, if they comes from my work, close friends or family, I would either address the issue in person or write/call her/him directly. Synchronous vs Asycnhronous communication makes difference sometimes.

  • yes, I like it too. It’s really interesting that the colors are very similar to some macro-shots I made of rust

  • I’d like to see macro shots of pieces of hand tools. Hammer, saw, file, etc.

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