Daily Diary – August 9 2011

Quiet day today even though I went to work for lunch and had to coordinate with Jake and then David went to a playdate so I barely had time to snap photos. But I got one of Nathaniel with his beloved blankie.

And then I tried to get another photo but he wouldn’t accomodate.

despite all my acrobatics, this was the best I got.

when David came back, I snapped one of him. He was considerably more accommodating. This is one of my favorite photos of him.

I am starting to believe that maybe the peace I crave so deeply is becoming more and more a part of my life. I don’t want to say it out loud in fear I might jinx it but I do feel peaceful lately. I feel like I am working on goals I’d like to work on. I am trying to read, exercise, do art, spend time with my family, journal, scrap, and of course work. I do almost all of them every single day. I also rest.

I am learning to find ways to deal with my weaknesses instead of putting myself down for them. I ask for help when I need it and I don’t worry about looking bad. I pay attention to how things turn out so I can remind myself next time I find myself leaning towards worrying. I let myself off the hook more than I used to. I work with my strengths and don’t fight my shortcomings. I try not to beat myself up as much as I used to. I am learning that I am exactly who I need to be. I will work on things slowly because I want to but not because I need to and not because I have to.

I am also trying to be more patient with myself. Not needing to know the answers right away. Waiting for things to unravel slowly and take me down their path instead of designating the path each time.

And finally, I’ve been thinking about the fall and working with my kids’ schedules. David starts a new school. So does Nathaniel. Their schedules will mean coordinating new nap times (Nathaniel), exercise time (me), moving some meetings around, and making sure I am there to support them through possibly some big transitions (especially for Nathaniel but also for David since it’s a new school and new friends.) It will also mean trying to figure out how to do my work efficiently with this new schedule, especially since my work will get considerably busier right on the same day my kids go back to school. While all this really stressed me out for a few days, I decided to just let it go. I planned a bit and then I set up some help in case things go unexpectedly. And then I told myself I needed to let go and enjoy all the days between now and then. That’s that.

So I’m working on it. I think I’m truly embracing my word this year.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a nice lunch at work.
2. I am grateful that I will meet my friend Holly at a bookstore tonight.
3. I am grateful for a few more weeks of summer.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I watched Harry Potter at Ece’s house. * {his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I traced my Pokemon cards.
3. I am grateful that I played with my legos.

1 comment to Daily Diary – August 9 2011

  • dawn

    Hi Karen,
    It’s so funny to read this about you being peaceful. I just left you a comment on your blog about your work seeming different and colorful and that your happier lately. I’m so glad this is true. Isn’t it wonderful when life is going smooth. We have the same worries my friend, school, schedules, my exercise time and more is all about to happen soon. My dear Renee starts high school and we got her schedule and had to make changes if possible. Thankfully they could change one of our classes the others she will just have to do her best. She is very nervous going to a new school so I’m doing my best to stay positive and keep her feeling ready and in charge.

    What you said about letting it go is exactly what I just did this weekend. Usually I’m a bear the last couple weeks before school, this time though I’ve changed my ways and have said to relax and only focus on staying positive and see what happens. The school shopping is what starts this bad mood but I went and got started and did very well and didn’t complain once about the price for everything, lol It’s so good to hear you are feeling the same way. How about we make a deal, anytime you worry think about me being positive and focused and when I slip and worry I will remember to let it go and not worry just like your not. We can be each others cheer buddies!!!
    Enjoy your last few weeks of summer and I will try also. Love reading your blog and making me happy, thanks for sharing.

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