What is Within

This quote says:

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us and when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.

I like the idea of this quote. I like what it says. But when I really think about it, I am not sure I understand it. Is it just saying “be you”? Is it saying when you fully own who you are and step into it, miracles happen?

I am not sure 🙂

Alas, the quote really speaks to me anyway. I like the idea of bringing what’s within me out into the world.

This year’s been an interesting one for me so far. I find myself going up and down a lot and there are chunks of my life where I want to be doing more, better, different. I want to feel less overwhelmed and less purposeless all at once. I know that sounds weird that I can be both but I feel like I am.

I find I am much more productive and happy when I am stretched thinner. Partly cause I have a purpose. I like having things to do. It’s easy for me to spend my days alone, relatively unproductively (or even if somewhat productively, maybe not growing in all the ways I would like to grow). And I want to be bolder, stretch in ways I haven’t before so I can see what I am capable of. So I can see what I do and don’t like. So I can be willing to show up.

I’ve been doing a lot of things in the last few years but I don’t think I’ve been showing up a lot. Maybe a little more than bare minimum. Sometimes a little less.

And I want that to change.

Most importantly, I want to stop aching about things. I noticed that many times a day, I find myself aching for different things. To draw better, to be healthier (and thinner), to teach my kids more or whatever. These thoughts come and they overwhelm me. They make me sad and then they leave and I am left with the sad aftertaste.

I don’t want to ache anymore. I want to do or let go. Either is ok. If I find myself aching to draw better, then I need to pick a project where I draw more and regularly. If I want to sit with my kids, I need to just do it. Not much more to it than that.

And If I don’t want to do what it takes (because most of these are indeed hard work) then I need to let go of the ache. To remember that it’s my choice to not do it (and it’s a perfectly fine choice) and to genuinely let myself off the hook.

So that’s my plan for the next week. Pay attention each time I wish for things to be different. Then either make a change or let go of the wish. No more burdening myself with it.

Sounds easy but we’ll see if it’s so.

2 comments to What is Within

  • Christine

    To me, this quote tells me to stop wasting my energy on my past and stop worrying about my future. Accept myself as I am today with joy and gratitude. Give that person to the world and see what blossoms. I often find myself shaking my head in agreement or saying “yes” to myself while reading your posts. Today I felt like you were writing my very thoughts. Like you snuck a peek at my journal. Except for the last few lines. The plan. I think I will give that a try. I think I might ban the phrase “I wish” and change it to “I’d like to” followed by the steps to do so. Wishes seem like they rely on some fairy godmother. I’m rambling. As always, thanks for sharing.

  • Cheryl

    Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes it tends to backfire.

    Change requires a great deal of energy and none should be wasted on futile wishes.

    Often change lies deep within us and we need to peel away the layers like an onion.

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