2015 – Core Desired Feelings

I started the practice of picking my Core Desired Feelings thanks to Zewa, last year. I really liked the concept and if you’re curious I recommend you go to Danielle’s site and/or buy the book so you can do the exercises.

Towards October, I started thinking about what I might want my code desires to be for the next year. I felt like the ones I had for this year (serene, engaged, whole, grace) were still speaking to me so I wasn’t sure if the exercise would be pointless and I would learn nothing new. I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to let go of those words. I wasn’t sure of anything but the desire to see what would jump out at me kept increasing so I finally set down one night, grabbed the book, and decided to see what would happen.

I did all the writing exercises furiously. I didn’t stop and think. I just wrote and wrote. And then I stepped back to see what patterns emerged so I could circle them.

To my delight and surprise, I ended up with somewhat different words this year, even though I think the sentiments are quite similar. I spent some time thinking about my words and how they sounded and how they felt to say them. The kind of feelings they brought up in me when I said them out loud.

After a few iterations, I finally settled on a list that felt right. Here are my words for 2015:

  • serene
  • abundance
  • open
  • alive

Even now, as I look at these words,they light me up.

After I was done, I thought more of each of the words, what they mean to me, how that word feels and came up with a more extended description for each:

serene: this is the same as last year. i love this word. it came up again this year in several places. serene is almost the perfect word for the feeling i want to have. it’s like content but not just content. it’s serene, calm, peaceful. Without worry: that’s what the word serene makes me think of. Centered. It’s how I want to feel. When I feel serene, I make wiser choices. I can show people how much they mean to me. I can communicate clearly and kindly. When I feel serene I am the best version of myself.

abundance: this maybe is sort of similar to whole from last year but for this year, abundance was the exact right word for me. I want to live with an attitude of abundance. the opposite of scarcity. I want to come from a place where i believe there’s plenty more. Where there’s enough to go around for all of us. Enough time, enough money, enough opportunities. Enough friendship and love. I don’t want to feel stingy and small. I want to feel abundance. When I feel abundance, I am kind and generous and giving. I am optimistic. I am excited. I feel full of possibility. When I feel abundance I am the best version of myself.

open: this one goes hand in hand with abundance. at first, i only had abundance which ,for me, is about giving and offering more of myself, my things, my time, my service to others. Open is the opposite, it’s being open when people offer me their kindness, service, help, advice, etc. Being open to receive. Being willing, being grateful. Receiving it with grace. When I feel open, I do not try to hide parts of myself. When I feel open, I am not paranoid. I don’t worry about the why, I just accept with grace. When I feel open I am the best version of myself.

alive: this might be 2015’s version of engaged but it feels so much better for me for this year. I want to feel fully alive. I want to feel all of my feelings. I want to do things that feel brave but make me come alive. I want to do things that make me come alive. I want to bring more flowers into my house. Plants. I want to surround myself with life. I want to take walks in nature. I want to feel the air. I want to smell the sea. I want to make the most of all my minutes. When I feel alive I am brave. When I feel alive I am happy. When I feel alive I am optimistic and joyful. When I feel alive, I am the best version of myself.

So here we are. Four feelings that make me the best version of myself. Accompaniments to my word of the day this year. Feelings I want to remember to come back to again and again.

Here’s to a serene year full of abundance. To being open to all possibilities and being fully alive. And doing it all bravely!

ps: as i seem to each year, i decided to tinker with my site again. i changed a lot of the content on the right side and got rid of the left side. i also put photos for all my projects for 2015 which will show up empty until the end of next week when i’ll have posted about each of them. i think i sorted out all issues but if you see any problems or if a link you wanted is missing, feel free to let me know and i’ll fix it asap. thank you!

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