31 More Things – 9 – Laugh

These are from Ali’s 31 More Things class. More context here.

So here’s my day nine – laugh.

(journaling below)

I don’t laugh that much. As my husband often says, I don’t really have a sense of humor. At least not in the typical sense. I don’t find most humor funny. And I tend to take life on the serious side. If you need things done, I’m your gal. If you want to talk, I’m your gal. If you want to talk about books, life, frustrations, or even celebrations, I’m your gal.

But I’m not the gal to have superfluous conversations with. I am not the gal to go shopping with. (unless we’re shopping for book.) I am not the gal to drink with. I am not the gal you go out with if you need a night of laughter.

I used to think this meant something was missing inside me. That I was somehow less than. Why can’t I be fun when so many others are? Why can’t I laugh and be silly with the best of them? What’s wrong with me?

But as I get older, I am realizing that this is just who I am. I take things seriously. I care about people deeply. I care about things deeply. And this is what makes me a good friend, a kind wife, a reliable employee and a loving mother. This is what makes me, me. It’s not good or bad, it’s just who I am.

And I’ve also learned that I do laugh. There are times I will laugh so hard that I can’t control the laughter. There are times I am laughing with pure, unbounded joy. There are times when I tickle my kids or laugh at their silly jokes. These are my moments. Most of my laughter comes from joy. From gratitude. From moments of letting go and being right here, with the people I love and letting them love me in return.

They don’t happen often but when they do, I am so grateful for these moments. For these reminders of how special life is, how lucky I am and how there’s so much treasure hidden in the tiny moments of ordinary life.

Maybe I am not the silly type. And maybe I don’t laugh as much as I should. But I am
learning to be okay with that because, for me, it’s a part of learning to be okay with who I am and there’s so much joy and contentment in embracing all of myself. In the meantime, here’s to the rare people who can make me laugh anyway.

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