I am a very touchy-feely person. I’m not sure if it comes from the Spanish blood, European upbringing, or having been hugged a lot as a kid. But I touch people almost constantly when I talk. Often times it’s such an automatic reaction that I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
I don’t mean to imply that I touch people in inappropriate places. I generally touch their hands or their arms. For some reason, I believe that touching lets me get my honesty across better. It somehow projects the sincerity of my emotion or caring to the other party.
Most of my friends are used to the fact that I hold their hands when either one of us is sharing a difficult emotional situation. I hug my friends almost all the time. I even kiss their cheek at times. In Turkey, people kiss each other on both cheeks to greet. Men kiss other men and women other women and women kiss men and vice versa. In America, that would likely scare the crap out of an observer, but in my country it’s common practice. You even kiss someone you just met, in most cases. It’s not sexual, it’s not even physical; it’s just a common custom.
I believe that the physical and sexual aspects of touching are way overrated in this country. If I’m walking down the street hand in hand with a female friend, it doesn’t mean I’m lesbian. It means I like my friend and I am enjoying spending time with her. When little kids hold hands, we think it’s cute how they like to hang out to each other, but as we grow up the same bond becomes inappropriate and a taboo.
Why?
Why can’t I hold someone’s hand or kiss him on the cheek or give him a warm hug without it being about wanting to fuck him? Why can’t I touch him as he shares a difficult moment, or even as he talks about nothing specifically important, without people thinking that I am trying to turn him on?
Maybe I am weird cause sexual thoughts are not primary in my head. Often times, other people get the wrong impression that I’m trying to drop hints about how interested I am in pursuing a physical relationship with them. I never get sexually aroused when a friend touches me. Not even when a stranger does, even if he’s attractive to me. I am only physically excited if I already love that person in that way. I know this is weird to most people but I think that maybe it explains why I don’t think twice before I touch people.
I just wish more people would hug each other. I feel like so much emotion and healing can be passed by touching someone else and I’m sad that there is so much taboo associated with it. I don’t know why some cultures respond to it better than others do.
Previously? Inquisitive Mind or Bully?
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