I’m back to that bad place of being paralyzed by too much work. I’m getting a lot of work done and when i make my todo list I can see that it’s actually manageable and i will definitely get it done yet I still feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start and then get all wound up and do nothing. Here’s my promise to myself and you can hold me accountable: no new commitments for November and December. I’ve already made some but other than those, i won’t take anything on for the rest of this year. Time to rest and rejuvenate.
Many people ask me how I get work done at home with Nathaniel. Well here’s what he does while I’m working.
And then here’s the face poor David makes when i tell him he has to clean it up.
He knows it’s not fair and tells me so often.
But then I remind him that he did this when he was little and i cleaned it up every time and that we look out for each other and that’s what it means to be a family. And he feels resigned. Nathaniel ends up sacrificing for him too, just in different ways.
And speaking of Nathaniel I’ve been trying to expand Nathaniel’s meal variety. So we’ve tried carrots, sweet peppers, broccoli, blakc-eyed peas, and heirloom tomatoes in the last two days. All with no interest. He’s gotten really good at shaking his head no.
I apologize for cutting it short and being so whiny. I am off to write some more lessons and once this set is finished, I will breathe a big sigh of relief and be so much more jovial. I promise.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that despite feeling low and overwhelmed i am still making time for giggling with my kids, walking, and the art journal.
2. I am grateful that my ability to be effective at work is increasing.
3. I am grateful that I’ve been working on some positive changes for my daily intake of food. Not just fewer calories but more nutritional food. One step at a time.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. bringing the books i made at school home
2. going to school!
3. doing the brainquest workbook with mommy
Here’s today’s page. I am still enjoying the watercolors.
I did more walking today. I even mixed in a bit of running. Very little but it made a lot of difference. I am trying to psych myself up and that’s what today’s page is all about.
I used watercolors, made a flower from ribbon, water colored it, adhered it to another flower and added a few beads.I’ve been wanting to use my handwriting for a while and even though i hate hate hate it, i used it anyway. I know, it looks terrible…Sorry.
detail:
Here’s how it looks in the book.
And our Sunday has come and gone. I snapped this photo relatively early in the day and it really speaks to me. He looks so much like me here. A face I make. It’s eerie.
A lot happened this morning. I got some work done. David and I did some vocabulary and phonics. We watched a little TV and I watched a movie. And then Daddy came home!! We all rejoiced. Then we went shopping. I’ve been thinking a lot about food and what to eat more and I will talk more about it this week. After a long shopping trip, we came home and I tried to snap some photos of David. Here’s what he gave me.
And then the smile.
Then I went on my walk and when I came back, nathaniel spent some time putting my socks on and taking them off.
While I was gone, David and Daddy had put together his legos. Some of the pieces had broken so Jake had ordered replacements. Now that they arrived, they could finally finish it.
I cooked dinner for the kids but neither ate it. So most of it went to trash or my belly. Thankfully Jake prepared them for bed so I could be at my desk by 6pm for Brene Brown‘s webinar which i was really looking forward to. I am listening to it right now so i will bid you good night. More tomorrow.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that Jake is back. I miss him deeply. He’s the joy of our life.
2. I am grateful that did finish a lot of work this weekend.
3. I am grateful for my life. for getting to live it fully. for being more in the now than i’ve ever been. i need to cut myself more slack and think more about what i do and whether it’s where i want to spend my life. but i am really grateful for it.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. watching a little sprout.
2. coloring.
3. having daddy back
4. the gold coin daddy gave me
5. finishing the lego with daddy
Here’s today’s page. I am still enjoying the watercolors.
I’ve been working really hard for the last few days trying to prepare the content for my winter 2011 classes at Big Picture Classes. So much so that my arms are hurting from typing and I am tired and worn out. So this morning, after I wrote another lesson I told myself that I wasn’t going to get the second one done. I had originally intended to write two lessons today. But I am completely spent. So I told myself it’s ok to rest. Things will be ok. They will get done.
I used watercolors, some beads, ribbon, and flowers. Pretty simple. I wanted the beads on the top right to look like clouds and the starfish to feel like the sun. I don’t know if it worked and the leaves are way too shiny and too many. But despite all that I still like it..
detail:
Here’s how it looks in the book.
During last August, Big Picture Scrapbooking held a summer promotion where we were sent a Cocoa Daisy kit and each made three pieces of art. This is #2.
Journaling Reads:
Before Nathaniel was born, my mom warned that David would be jealous of him when he came. But she was wrong. My two kids are amazing. They play so well together and they hug and kiss. They only have love for each other. I hope it lasts forever and ever.
details:
Here’s this week’s thing:
42. Find something to volunteer with
Before we moved to the West Coast, I used to volunteer a lot. During 2000, I took two of my work days and spent them volunteering full-time. (I worked 3 days a week and volunteered two). I worked at a non-profit book store, I worked with the deaf and helped them find jobs. I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity, Junior Achievement, and several other organizations. I then quit my job and became a corps member in Teach For America. I got paid but it was still volunteer work to make the world a better place.
I love volunteering. I really, truly do.
However, when we moved west and I couldn’t drive I stopped. Then I had kids and it got worse. And now I don’t volunteer at all. I wanted to fix that this year. I wanted to work regularly with a cause I believed in. And yet, so far I haven’t been able to do that still.
But there is an area where I’ve made some small progress. I became the room parent for my son’s class. I’ve also volunteered in his classroom and art class. I am the photographer for the class so I go to many of the events to make sure there are photos. I am also planning on volunteering with the local education foundation that helps raise money for all the schools in my area.
I also volunteer at work. I create all the posters for all the authors events. This might sound small but it’s a significant contribution to a very valuable and all volunteer-run project.
I still yearn to find ways to volunteer more one on one. Ways that feel more tangible to me. In the meantime, these are the small ways in which I’ve brought in more volunteering into my life.
I will keep seeking more opportunities in this area. But I feel like even if it’s small I have made some progress so I am taking that for now.
I have a lot of photos today and I have a melting down baby and a long list of todos tonight so I am going to keep the words short and let the photos speak for themselves. 52 Things is ideally going to come some time today or possibly tomorrow, too.
This morning, the kids went under the curtains and looked out the window to the backyard. Watching the birds and squirrels.
I love watching them.
Or maybe I just love them.
In the afternoon, we went to the park by our house. Nathaniel watched his brother a lot and he must have loved that cause he gave him a hug all on his own.
Here’s Mr. Handsome.
And the little boy. Beautiful boy.
David went down the slide many times. On his tummy.
And Nathaniel kept watching him.
So he kept doing it and laughing.
Our friend Ece and one of the neighbor boys came out to play, too. He brought out his swords which made Nathaniel super-happy.
I made considerable progress in my class but i am now running behind in many things. I feel tired and worn out a bit. So this is something I am going to have to take a step back and think about so that I can learn not to wear myself out. The list keeps growing even as I tackle more and more items.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that we got to play outside some with friends today. Five kids. It was fun.
2. I am grateful that I already wrote lesson one and two, six more to go.
3. I am grateful for that i am walking and making art journal pages. I am making progress this month, even though sometimes it doesn’t feel so.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. going to the park with Ece.
2. coloring.
3. playing wii
Another water-color based class that uses the Maya Mists.
When I did my walk this morning, I was listening to “How to Stop Worrying” by Dale Carnegie. The first chapter was about living in one-day increments. That today is all you have so you should focus on it with all your might. Live it fully. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow but do not be anxious over it. There’s a lot more there and, of course, most of it is obvious but I still wanted to make a reminder page.
I used more Maya Mists on the letters. It was the only color I hadn’t used and I love it. I did my background using water colors. Then i glued down my letters and some flowers. I created the stems with white pen and glued a few beads in the middle of the flowers. Added the date and that’s it.
detail:
And finally friday is here. It’s been a fast week and a productive one both personally, work-wise, art-wise, and exercise-wise. All in all, pretty good. This morning, I was working on a project I’d promised someone and I thought I might want to use some of my stamps so I took a bunch out to go through them. As it turned out, I didn’t use them but they entertained Nathaniel for a good hour.
After lunch, he needed to be changed since he decided to smear his peanut butter sandwich all over himself. You can still see it in his pants. But he seemed to be in a good mood for the most part. This is the face he makes when I call him and he knows I want to take a photo.
And here he is posing for it.
He loves piling up David’s workbooks and going through them.
So while he did that, I worked and then we went out for my walk and then we picked up the big boy.
Who loves making faces.
And, I love him.
And then I snapped my one good photo of the day.
And decided to quit while I was ahead.
I finished most of my planned work for the weekend which means I can now work ahead and get started on my second BPC class for winter 2011. This one is an 8-week workshop so there’s quite a bit of work ahead of me. Sooner I start, sooner I can make progress.
I’ve been obsessing about whether I should break the blog into sections or not. Like photography, thoughts, scrapbooking, books, etc. Or to just leave it a jumble as it is now. Should i just list sections but still post it all here at once? No idea…. i will keep pondering, I spose. For now things stay the way they are until I find a solution I like.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that Jake will be here in one more day. We miss him so.
2. I am grateful that making a list and organizing myself seems to really have helped. I already feel like some of the load is off my shoulders.
3. I am grateful for my new waterbrush pens. They are awesome.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. making my W letter puppet (weasel).
2. coloring at home.
3. doing the phonics section in our workbook with mommy
I’ll have to admit this is one of my favorite pages this month. I love the way it turned out and I love its message.
And the colors.
I often try to remind myself that it’s not about getting it right, it’s about being willing to try new things. Being open to try new things. Not being scared to fail. That’s the only way you can grow. The only way you can stretch and expand your thinking and your art. I try to remember Julie Fei-Fan Balzer’s words: never be afraid to ruin it. (I might have rephrased, apologies!).
I used more Maya Mists on this. I shook it really well for two of them and I was in a rush so I didn’t shake it for the one that turned out really orange and I love it. I used watercolor on the background. My waterbrushes finally arrived in the mail today and I love love love love them!! Yey for waterbrushes.
detail:
Journaling Reads:
In 2003 my husband and I spent two months driving across the United States.
Prior to that, we’d been living in New York City and hadn’t even owned a car. Prior to that, I had never camped. I refused to use a public bathroom. I couldn’t really drive. I always overpacked for car trips. I spent a long time picking hotels and restaurants. I couldn’t read a map.
This one trip changed all of that. In two months I learned to become a master navigator. I could put up a tent in the dark. I slept anywhere from mountain sides to swamp sides. I used pretty much all kinds of public bathrooms (and even gas station ones – but I still refuse to go into a port-a-potty.) I got really great at finding decent hotels and food. I learned to be flexible and enjoy every moment of being in the car.
That trip also was the start of a tradition for us. We’re definitely cartrip people now. We drive everywhere and I prefer it over any other kind of trip. I love being able to get in the car and just take off, knowing it’s all going to be perfectly fine.
Well this week is coming to an end really fast. But the listing of items has been working for me. I’m on a roll and getting stuff done. At a slower pace than I’d like and I haven’t read a page in my book all week but I have written most of my first class and I plan to finish it all tonight. It’s about perfectionism. Great topic. Then a few detours/commitments and onward to the second class!
David had a supershort day at school today so I had to get a lot done in the morning, including my walk and then run over to get him. I spent most of the afternoon working hard while Nathaniel slept and David colored. Both of the kids really love playing this game where they fall to the ground. Not sure why. They like doing it on the pillow, on each other, and on just nothing.
And David told me today that this is him doing ballet. I don’t think he’s going to have a career in ballet, do you?
Here’s Nathaniel grabbing the pillow (so he can fall on it.)
and his reaction to my saying no.
And more of it when he sees that it’s a firm no.
And, finally, full blown meltdown.
But my no stays no, so he goes and finds other adventures. Then he decides he’s hungry so he grabs the cinnamon crackers out of the pantry and brings them to me. And I get to snap what is likely my favorite shot of him.
And there we go.
An angel. that’s what my boy is. Both my boys. Even when they are melting down. Even when they are driving me literally insane. David lost two sweaters in school in two days. I was beside myself. I need to learn to be calmer. It’s better for him and for me. My jaw hurts like insane. Like 3-6 advils a day insane. Not good for either of us.
So far, I’m enjoying art journaling month but I am not sure i’m learning much or conquering my fears. I think I am not paying enough attention to it. I am still walking however. No less than a mile each day. Ideally two miles. So far so good. I’m almost done with the 7 habits so I will have to find another book to listen to. Any recommendations? Something non fiction I think. It’s easier to listen to nonfiction.
I bought some math books to do with David but neither are nearly as good as the reading book we’ve been doing. I wish I could find some fantastic ones. IF you know of any, please do let me know.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I am almost done putting together my new class. Big item off my list.
2. I am grateful that Jake seems to be enjoying himself in NY. I miss him like crazy but I am happy he’s happy.
3. I am grateful for the kind, happy mail from Caroline. Thank you so much Caroline, you’re truly amazing, generous and so supportive. I am deeply grateful.
Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. sitting with maggie on the bus.
2. coloring at home.
3. sharing my book at school (the cat in the hat!)
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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