Nathaniel is still waking up at ungodly hours so this morning I just pretty much lay there while both kids ate breakfast. I started Little Bee last night so I read more and more until I felt more awake. Nathaniel filled my scrappy drawers with his toys.
And then sat to play with his toys while David played with his legos awaiting his Wii start-time.
I love watching him no matter how grouchy or tired I might feel.
I then left for my hair appointment. During the appointment, I just kept reading. I wasn’t sure I liked to book but I definitely couldn’t stop reading it.
When I came home, David was playing and Nathaniel had already woken up from his nap. When I asked David for a photo, this is the best I could get.
And here he is, playing.
Nathaniel thinks he’s playing, too. I love this photo.
Then I finished my book. A little work on the garage, some playing with the kids and here we are. Short, simple day. But feel good. Maybe cause I know I have a lot more days off.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a nice haircut and good dye job. Always feel special after the hair dresser.
2. I am grateful for books. The way they let me completely forget everything around myself.
3. I am grateful for extra days off. Downtime.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. playing wii.
2. watching a little TV this morning.
3. daddy.
It almost seems like forever ago, but I actually did this one only a few weeks ago:
26. Spend a day by myself
After reading Hand Wash Cold, I went to Karen’s webpage and saw that she had a Mother’s Retreat coming up in just a few weeks twenty minutes away from my house. So I thought it was almost crucial that I go.
(Look what it says on her computer screen.)
Unfortunately for me, I was so so very tired on the day I went that I did not pay as much attention as I would have liked. Having said that, it was an amazing day of soul searching. Reading. Sitting in the beautiful gardens of the temple. Walking meditation in a labyrinth. A little yoga. And some wonderful learning.
I had a brief talk with Karen on the walk back from the labyrinth to the room and I was able to tell her how much and how deeply her words have touched me and I was glad for that opportunity.
If you’re considering one of these Mother’s Retreats by Karen Maezen Miller, I would highly highly recommend it.
It was definitely worth my time and as much as I would like to say that I needed the time alone, I really really missed my family even in the eight hours I was gone. I love my family a lot and even if I am not paying full attention to them all times, I love being surrounded by them.
I’m still feeling moody, for reasons I truly cannot explain. Maybe it’s cause I don’t have anything that needs to get done and it’s making me feel aimless. Or maybe I just really need rest. Who knows.
I just tried to work and be with the kids today. Nathaniel loves this truck with the remote. Even though it’s out of battery, he doesn’t seem to want to understand that and keeps waiting for it to work again.
But that face is hard to resist so I just let him play.
I love this boy. He’s growing up so so fast. 15 months old tomorrow.
He loves playing soccer with anything at all. Anything he can kick, he will.
I honestly have no idea what they were looking at there. I was working and David told me to take their photo. I love how his hand is over his brother’s shoulder. Gently and protectively.
We spent a little time in the backyard. Nathaniel is making his peace with the grass I think. Especially since there are balls in the backyard and he loves balls.
Not fully peaceful just yet.
I love watching him suck his thumb. Almost all the way to the palm. I wish I had something that comforts me that much. Something besides chocolate that is.
And of course David played with legos. We spent a bunch of time playing legos together today and I built this and then he embellished it.
I’m excited that we’re both taking a few days off and planning on some work at home, some relaxation, some sightseeing, and some pampering. A few days of rest sounds lovely.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for our upcoming mini-staycation this week.
2. I am grateful for some great time watching tour de france with my hubby. By far, my favorite sports event to watch.
3. I am grateful for some quality time with the kids. They make me so so so happy.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. playing legos with mommy.
2. having juice for lunch (I had some odwalla left and he got to have it for eating his veggies.) .
3. daddy.
Journaling Reads:
Before David was born, I spent a lot of time worrying about happiness. I’ve never been the happiest person and I wanted to make sure this wasn’t going to affect my son. I didn’t want him to think that he has any reason to think he caused it. So I wrote signs in my house, read books, and did everything I could to work on being a happier person.
It turns out I had nothing to worry about.
The moment he was born, literally, there was a shift in me. I became a happier person in my core. Not happier. Happy. He turned me from a sad person to a happy person just by being born, could there be a more magnificent present?
As if that weren’t enough, David happens to be the best kid I could have wished for. He’s kind, loving, generous, self-sufficient, and gentle. He’s funny. He has the best imagination and he kisses his brother multiple times a day. He helps me with everything from cleaning up to changing his brother. I would like to take credit for the amazing person he is, but I know it’s just who he is and I thank my lucky stars every day.
Jake had the day off today so as soon as we woke up (another rough night for me) we went to go get the Cholesterol tests done. Just as part of a regular checkup. This test requires fasting so it’s best to do it early in the day. We came back home and did some cleaning up of the stuff in the garage. The kids went out to the backyard as Jake was breaking down the boxes and started playing ball so I grabbed my camera to snap some photos.
David wasn’t sharing well so Nathaniel was crying on one side and happy on the other. A bit weird to be honest.
But they were both having so much fun.
Then we went inside and I worked a bunch while the kids played. Nathaniel is all about David’s toys (of course.)
But David’s getting better and better about not freaking out. I am trying to work with him.
This is the toy that came with the high chair. I love the way Nathaniel’s feet are in this photo.
And here’s David while watching something on TV.
I spent a few hours at work today and it was nice to see some old friends and such a different environment, of course. It feels odd to me since I’ve been working from home for so long now. But it was great to be there and see so many of the people I work with in person. The rest of the day was a lull. I’ve been really really tired this month and I feel bad about my Happiness project which is languishing. I will write more about that soon. I haven’t bailed 100% but really, it’s not so great.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a delicious lunch with a good friend.
2. I am grateful for a great study session with my boy. he’s getting better and better and i am so proud of him.
3. I am grateful for all the work Jake did today to clean up the garage. One day at a time I remind myself.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. orange juice mommy brought from work.
2. playing with my lego sticker book.
3. daddy.
I’m a big Stephanie Meyer fan. I’ve read all of her books. I don’t care what that makes you think of me. I love her writing. So I picked up The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner the moment it came out and read it in one sitting. It was interesting to read more about this little character and I do wish she would write more. I happen to enjoy her writing quite a bit.
Nathaniel woke up just a little too early today. Or I was in a bad part of my sleep cycle cause I woke up feeling like I was slapped. He did also wake up at 2:30am which wasn’t so much fun. But it didn’t take me that long to recover and by 7am I was happy and less tired. Coffee didn’t hurt. Nathaniel’s discovered David’s toy and he’s loving it. Today it was all about putting the sheets on the floor and stepping on them. I think he loves the texture difference or something but it’s so much fun .
He steps up and down on it and laughs and laughs.
And laughs. It’s so much fun to watch him.
So we decided to shoot some video of it cause we both laughed so much watching him:
Isn’t it so funny? He’s also obsessed with plastic bottles, putting their tops on, taking off the paper, putting his fingers in it.
He’s also still putting his hands behind his back.
We tried to let him eat with a fork today and he was super-excited.
He laughed the whole time and kept putting more and more food in his mouth just to play with the fork.
David spent most of the morning playing his soldier game. (One he made up.)
Lest you think it’s always so quiet here, he was running around, shooting, making crazy amounts of noise.
Later in the day, we watched some Whitney Houston and Billy Joel videos on YouTube and I snapped this while he was watching. He is so beautiful, it breaks my heart.
At some point today he told me that if i am mean to him he’d do something to really upset me “Go live with someone else” he told me and I told him that I never want him to live somewhere else and then he said but that won’t work cause he will grow up and get married. And then he added, “don’t worry, I will come visit you.”
I hope so, my son, I hope so.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a clean checkup. I had my yearly checkup, the first in a while and all was perfectly normal. At the doctor’s that’s exactly what I want to hear.
2. I am grateful for a really wonderful book. One that’s not only engrossing but where the words and sentences actually touch me and make me smile.
3. I am grateful for inspiration my husband gave me yesterday that made me feel stronger and more energized all day long.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. watching music videos with mommy.
2. playing my soldier game.
3. daddy.
Thoughts:
I am fortunate enough to have all the belongings I desire in life. The one and only thing I always crave is being loved. The biggest present I ever got was and is the love of my husband, my kids, my family, and friends. It’s the best present I could ever have.
Today felt like a super-short day. I woke up, exercised, got ready and then had a visitor. Between her and work, my day was gone before I knew it. I didn’t take that many photos either. Nathaniel woke up cranky from his nap and never really recovered. David was an angel for the most part and even asked me to take his photo today.
Nathaniel wouldn’t eat at lunch but then went begging for food all day. Now that he can sign food, he uses it liberally.
I love this shot. He’s learned to make sounds with those tubes from David. He’s still putting his foot under the tray and you can even see David eating and watching his iPod. Snapshot of our lives.
I have mixed feelings about this shot but something about it speaks to me so here we are.
That’s about it. The kids are getting ready to go to bed and I am ready to relax a bit and watch TV and read my new book.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a visit from a new friend. A common friend introduced us and she came over for the first time today and we talked for a long long long time. Love it when that happens.
2. I am grateful for the kind, generous people around me. I am often filled with more love and kindness than I realize.
3. I am grateful for some good TV on my Tivo that’s waiting for me!
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. watching batman.
2. meeting mommy’s friend.
3. daddy.
Yesterday, I woke up in a terrible mood. I was feeling both angry and sad, and of course, very soon, frustration joined in, too. Before it was 9am, I had already disappointed myself and been impatient with my kids. And, honestly, I could tell that I wasn’t nearly done. I was in such a bad mood that I could see it continuing for days and affecting others around me and creating this ripple of bad moods.
Wonderful, eh?
For some reason, around 11am, I decided enough was enough and that I wasn’t going to spend the day brooding and feeling sorry for my frustrated self. I decided to take the “fake it till you make it” approach. I figured I can act the way I want to feel. I decided I would mentally take the day off and have some ice cream with my kids, play in the yard, maybe even go for a walk and just fake being happy until I actually felt it.
So I grabbed a popsicle and told my older son that the three of us were going to share it. The joy in his face already did wonders for my mood. Within an hour or so, I was feeling considerably better. So much so that I sat and accomplished a lot of work. Then I went to the yard to play with my kids and we laughed and laughed as we played.
By night time, there were still some feelings of unease but they were receding quickly and I felt very strongly that tomorrow (today) was going to be a better day. This morning, I woke up feeling much better and more positive. It’s still not 100% better but I am still “faking it till I make it” and there’s a lot less faking than yesterday.
Sometimes that’s what a gratitude journal is about, too. There are days when it feels like there’s nothing good in my life. Days when I am so upset by something that it colors everything else I feel. But my journal forces me to come up with three things, even on that day. It feels fake and I just go through the motions. But, often, by the time my list is complete, I feel slightly better. I have to admit that even on that terrible day, there are good things in my life.
And sometimes the faking really really works.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
Today began crappy but then turned around (more on this tomorrow) but it also meant that I took a little break from my July projects. July’s been a challenging month so far as it turns out. But that’s ok. It’s life.
I decided we would have some ice cream and a ton of fun. Nathaniel refused to take his nap at his normal hour so he slept much later and when he woke up, I decided to take a little break so we could all play in the backyard.
David brought a bunch of legos with him, of course.
Nathaniel wasn’t sure at first but then decided to give it a go.
He even ran around with his brother while they chased each other.
Then Jake came home and Nathaniel went begging for some grapes. My favorite part was that when he finally got one, he walked over to a bowl David had left on his table.
Grabbed the bowl, took it back to where Jake was, put the grape in it, and then took it out and ate it. He watches, he learns.
Then they played legos for a while.
I truly love watching them play together and next to each other.
Nathaniel loves legos almost as much as David..
But I think David loves them more. And I love him. So much.
In the end, it was a good day. Tomorrow, back on the horse.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Grateful for some kind people who are helping me put together something I’ve long wanted to do.
2. I am grateful for all the kind comment you leave here. I know I’ve said this before but i cannot say it enough. it touches me deeply.
3. I am grateful for some silly TV to watch today as I relax and embroider and let my troubles go.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Nathaniel.
2. playing with his legos.
3. daddy.
