Because there isn’t enough going on this week, I thought it would be a good week to “sew everyday”. I took my cue from Rebecca Sower’s wishes to spread hearts around and I am hand stitching hearts everyday. Today’s day five. Not so bad.
Little, sweet, smiley boy.
And another one.
Another stressful, stressful day. It appears they will all be so all the way to Friday. Oh well. I will survive. It’s amazing how little I got done this week especially considering how much I have on my todo list right now. Just two more days to go.
Note to Self:
I am feeling overwhelmingly tired. This book I’m listening to talks about the effects of lack on sleep and they range all the way from body fat to depression. To lack of focus, bad memory, only remembering the “not good” stuff. It’s a long long list and I need to find a way to get better sleep. To sleep more soundly. Or nap during the day more. Something to fix this exhaustion.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. My husband came home early today to help me out and it was really really helpful.
2. I am grateful for sewing this week. It’s the only thing I’ve done for myself (besides the blog of course) and it really has been making me happy.
3. I am grateful to David this week, too. He’s been amazing at playing by himself for a long time while I work and at making sure Nathaniel is taken care of too. Playing with him, kissing him, just being amazing all around.
Catalyst One Hundred is: What’s the highlight of your week?
Thoughts:
My days are all pretty much the same and I love that. I look forward to so many things each day. Time with my family and time alone and time to read and time to create and even time to work. I am very lucky that I get a little bit of each of these every single day. I don’t think there’s anything more I can ask from life.
Around my neighborhood.
Believe it or not, today was even more stressful than yesterday and I’ve got a few more days before it quiets down. To add to the chaos, the kids had doctor’s appointments today too. David had his 5th year one which comes with lots and lots of shots. Painful ones at that: MMR and Tetanus. Ugh. He cried and cried. Broke my heart.
Nathaniel got shots too. He’s still so small. He’s now at 5% percentile for weight. 50% for height. My little boy.
By the time we came back home it was 5:30 pm which meant dinner and bedtime for the little one and I still have a ton of work to do. Amazingly, I was actually more focused and didn’t feel as catatonic as yesterday. I felt like I was making progress. Stressed but progressing.
Note to Self:
It’s interesting to me that even when I am calm and collected, a few single words can flare me up instantly. I think a lot about the Byron Katie book I listened to and how she said you get upset when people say what you think and you agree with them (I didn’t explain that well, sorry.) but basically people can make me upset only if I let them and when they say something I am thinking out loud it makes me upset because it’s something I already think and am secretly upset about. (Sorry too tired to make sense tonight.) The gist is that I need to pay better attention when things flare me up. There’s room for growth and learning there.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. A nice pediatrician. Our doctor is nice, friendly, efficient and patient. And really great with the kids. I love that.
2. Helpful, kind people at work. It’s been a rough week for me, learning something new and high visibility. People have been immensely patient and helpful with me. Going way out of their way. I love that about Google. Such kind, kind people.
3. Books on tape. I’ve been listening to books in my drive to David’s school and it has made driving such a better experience for me. I now look forward to getting in the car.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this project lately and the format I chose. I will admit that when I see some of the art other people are doing, sometimes I feel guilty. I love what they do and I feel like maybe I should be more artistic, too. Maybe I should be making mixed media pieces or some beautiful scrapbook layouts. I should at least be printing my work out, shouldn’t I?
But here’s the deal: The format I chose is working for me. Working really well actually. I feel so comfortable with the photos and words approach I’ve chosen that I could probably do a year’s worth of gratitude entries in one night. While this may feel less creative, the greatest thing is that it gives me the space to focus on what matters most: the gratitude. I don’t spend any energy fretting over picking the right papers or embellishments or worrying about whether my art will measure up.
I pick a subject matter, find or take a photo that works and then just write my thoughts. This is what’s most natural for me. It’s the part I struggle the least with and so it makes my system work brilliantly. And if I want to then create a layout about my gratitude topic, well there’s nothing stopping me from doing that, too. But there’s no pressure.
The trick is to find what works best for you. Are you someone who struggles with words but has no problem capturing photos? Great. Skip the words. Don’t force yourself to “improve” while you’re doing this project. The focus of this project is gratitude, not improving a skill or learning a new one. There’s no grade here. If you’re better with drawing, then draw. If you prefer to write in pen, write in pen. Do what works for you.
Do what comes most easily, most naturally.
Not sure what that is? Here’s a way to find out. For the next six weeks, try a different system each week. Here are some ideas:
1. Use Kim’s journaling cards to journal on the computer or by hand.
2. Use my template to do a photo+word combination.
3. Make a scrapbook layout.
4. Do some sort of mixed media creation (quilt, sewing, altered art, etc.)
5. Draw by hand. Sketch.
6. Do an art journal entry. Paint, draw, cut out photos from magazines and glue.
Each week take a note of how the process felt. Was it hard but rewarding? Did you put it off or feel like you couldn’t wait to sit and do it? Did you feel relieved when it was done? How long did it take (did you notice how long it took?)?
Make a note of your observations each week. Then, at the end of the six weeks, pick the one that felt most natural and like the least amount of work. It’s an extra bonus if it felt rewarding, too. But the goal is to make it feel effortless. So that you will keep doing it for the next 46 weeks. You want to practice gratitude. You don’t want anything at all getting in the way of that.
This is the mantra I repeat to myself when I drool over other people’s art. I love it but I know my system works brilliantly for me. It feels effortless to me and when I think of doing it for another 46 weeks, I don’t cringe or panic at all. It feels 100% manageable.
My advice to you this week is to find what works for you. Find the system that’s most effortless and use it. Remember that’s just a tool. The goal is keeping gratitude at the forefront of our lives for all of 2010.
Once you find it, you can even make an entry on how grateful you are for the system that works so efficiently for you.
If you have found a system that works really well for you, please leave it in the comments. It might end up being the best system for someone else, too.
Since David’s actual birthday was today, we all got up early and went for a pancake breakfast. I was expecting to have a stressful day at work and didn’t want David to feel sad. He loved his Mickey Mouse pancake and was delighted when they brought him a little strawberry/pineapple dessert with a candle as a surprise.
Nathaniel wiggled around the whole time but was generally well behaved.
My sister and her kids stayed up to sing Happy Birthday to David so we set them up right after he came back from school. They sang in English, Turkish and French. David was thrilled.
I spent the rest of the day working pretty hard. At some point, David was playing a game and I was on the phone when we heard Nathaniel complaining. When I looked over to tell him to be quiet, this is what we saw.
Of course I grabbed the camera before I rescued him. He was trying to grab a toy and fell right in. Just like him to try to grab something out of his reach. Cutie pie.
Note to Self:
Today was a super-stressful day and nothing even got done. I was worried about work and stressed myself to the point of paralysis so even when the plans for what I had to get done at work fell through, I couldn’t pick myself up and get something else done. I couldn’t even just let it all go and play. I basically just kept stressing more and more and drove myself insane and got nothing at all done. Nothing at all. No work. No play. No personal todo items. Nothing. What a waste of a day. And now my stressful task for today has been postponed to tomorrow so I will be stressed all over again tomorrow. Ugh.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. A loving and wonderful phone call from my husband. He’s so amazing. I am so blessed.
2. My kind and generous sister who is so wonderful to me and my kids and I am so grateful to have her in my life.
3. I am grateful that there are so many people at work who have my back. So many people volunteered to help today and I am grateful for the support and kindness.
Thanks to Lisa, we downloaded some paper airplanes today and we followed her suggestion and made a Delta one and a Classic one.
We printed out the models.
I did most of the folding while David watched. He picked the Delta one and said the Classic can be mine.
here he is with both of them.
Then we raced both of them for a while as we laughed. I taught David how to throw properly (he kept throwing it down and not up so it wouldn’t glide.) and then we realized the little one was watching too and I couldn’t help but get a video of his reaction. It was the highlight of the whole event for both David and me (and Nathaniel I guess!).
Thanks Lisa for the greatest idea!!
David’s birthday is tomorrow but his party was today. We rented an hour at a local gym and the kids got to have a gymnastics class. Thinking I wouldn’t be able to get many during the party, I snapped this photo of Nathaniel before we left.
And I am glad I did cause I have no photos of him from the party. But David had a blast. He climbed, he ran, the rolled, and he jumped. He actually got scared to let go in this photo but once he realized it was all foam in the bottom, he went back and jumped fearlessly.
This is when they all sang Happy Birthday to him.
All in all, he had a total blast. Tomorrow is a busy day for both of us so we decided we would take early morning off and take David to a pancake breakfast for his actual birthday so that he can get duly spoiled.
Note to Self:
I spent the last few weeks stressed out about David’s birthday party. I found the place in the Net and I was not fully sure if he was going to like it. When we went to visit, it smelled like a gym (really really sweaty) and I was worried the moms would think it’s terrible and stinky. I also only invited around 15 people because we had picked the 18-kids package and I figured with siblings we’d go over and we’re not really allowed to go too much over. In the last week around 6 people said they couldn’t make it. Got sick. So then I got worried it would be too small and David would be sad. But, of course, it all worked out. Just the right number of kids showed up and they all had a lot of fun and the moms were wonderful and I, again, learned that worrying was needless. Things work out the way they’re meant to.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. A simple, well-executed, fun party for my wonderful boy, of course. I am thankful he has such good friends even at his young age.
2. I am grateful that despite it being his naptime and dinnertime, Nathaniel was supremely well behaved and happy.
3. I am grateful for my husband and what a good team we make and how we seem to just complement each other so well.
This is done with the December Kit from A Million Memories. Here is the journaling:
One of my big dreams about having two kids was that they would always keep each other company. That they would play together and feel the joy of having someone there all the time. Despite the many years you have between each other, I am delighted to see that you’re already playing so nicely together. I know much of this credit goes to your brother, for now. And I know that the days of constant bickering and fighting will come, too. But for now, I am enjoying every little moment of this sharing, caring, laughing, and love.
Lovely, quiet day today. I got my hair done, Jake did the last of the errands we had to do for David’s birthday and we’re all set. The rest of the day was quiet and not hugely productive.
Here’s Nathaniel by David’s table again. He’s so so cute. They are so cute. It makes me so proud and happy to see them together.
And here’s one of the little boy.
And the not-so-little boy.
Love them both to bits.
Note to Self:
I am always anxious when I leave Jake with the kids and I call him all the time or text him or im with him. I used to think that’s cause I worried about the kids. The fact is, I worry about him. I want to make sure they are not wearing him down or he’s not getting frustrated. The funny thing is, he is always calm and wonderful with the kids and never gets mad at me. Realizing it all made me remember that I cannot control his feelings and experiences but I can control mine and I decided to let it go. Let myself enjoy the little alone/down time I get and let him have fun with the kids and the special time he gets with them. Everyone is happier.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. My Sony reader. I love my reader. I love all the books it has. I love how small it is. How I have it with me everywhere.
2. I love the way my hair looks when I leave the hairdresser and I love how my hair dresser is so awesome and knows exactly what I like.
3. I love having a todo list that’s all full of optional-only things. Nothing that must get done. Woohoo.
This was another one of the items that got done during our trip to Big Bear/LA:
20. Stay up all night
When I originally made this list, I had intended this to be one of those “stay up all night and have fun” items.
And yet, it didn’t work out that way.
As I already mentioned a few weeks ago, when we were in Big Bear, we lost power and I had to stay up all night to feed the fire to make sure it didn’t get too cold in the house and the kids would be ok.
David slept on the couch, Nathaniel in his pack and play and Jake made this concoction from the pillows of the couch and all the leftover sheets and blankets. While they all slept, I stared at the fire in the dark. I tried to read my book but the light was not strong enough. I tried to play games on my iPhone but I was worried it would run out of battery. I told myself just another 20 minutes since I put a new log every 20 minutes.
At midnight, I set the alarm on my phone and told myself I’d lie down for 8 minutes. I woke up 20 minutes later and the fire was almost out. I freaked out and woke up Jake who fixed it. Then I went back to staring at it.
In the middle of the night, Nathaniel woke up and cried for a while. We stared at the fire and then as he fell asleep, David started having bad dreams and woke up. After a while he fell back asleep too.
From 3-4am, Jake was also awake (which was really helpful because by then I was really getting tired.) The last few hours were the roughest as everyone slept and I was too tired to read or even play. My eyes kept closing and I had to walk around to keep myself from falling asleep.
At 6am, I finally woke up Jake and told him I had to sleep or I would pass out. And I fell into a deep sleep from 6-7 even though I could hear Nathaniel shrieking.
It was one of the toughest nights of my life and I have no intention to repeating it aver again. I hope that I don’t ever have to.
Good day. Good, good day!
I did get some work done today. I am still not caught up from the Big Bear disaster but I am feeling optimistic. Still a bit nervous for next week, but really trying to take it all one day at a time.
Little boy is still chewing everything like crazy. Especially David’s toys and the remotes. The Wii ones are his favorites.
We had playgroup today and there were nine babies and David had his friend Inidiana over and it was so much fun just having everyone here and seeing all the babies that live in our neighborhood. Quite wonderful for Nathaniel that he will grow up with so many friends.
And then I sat and finished my A Million Memories February layouts. Seven in all. Quite fun despite the fact that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do much at all. Not a lot of journaling this month, either. Quite unusual for me.
I’m up later than I’ve been in a long time. Tomorrow is a hair appointment and Sunday is David’s birthday party. Otherwise, this should be a quiet weekend. Or so I hope.
Happy Weekend.
Note to Self:
I had such a happy moment about work today. There was an article published in slate about our browser. (here) It’s one of many many and I am so proud of this product. Sure it has flaws but still. The goal, the ambition is so audacious. The team is so excellent. I am just so glad to have anything to do with it. I am so grateful they let me work from home and worked with me to help me get setup. So so happy. Sometimes, I stress and I forget all this. It’s good to write it down.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Work. Have I mentioned it already?
2. I am grateful it’s the weekend and I have nothing too overwhelming planned. It’s nice to have that to look forward to.
3. I am thankful for my son. The older one. His birthday is coming up and I couldn’t be more proud of him.
The journaling reads:
Of all the things that are good for my soul, books come first. (Okay, the people come first, but we’re talking about “things” not people.) There’s nothing like reading to calm my soul, to help me escape my world and plunge into someone else’s and to forget about any stress I might be carrying.
I have always been an avid reader. When I was little, books were my escape and now that I’m all grown up, books are still my escape. I love a great fiction book with good characters and their ordinary lives. I don’t need constructed world or some mysterious plot, I just like the everyday stuff.
The thing about books is that they don’t ask for anything from me. They don’t tap into my creative or emotional energy. They don’t require me to think and use my brain as much as my work does. No computer skills required. Just a comfy chair, a warm drink, and this week’s novel. And I am in heaven.
This is one of the reasons I make the effort to read a book a week. I’ve learned that it’s good for my soul.
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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