We just came back from Pay It Forward. I’d been looking forward to the movie ever since I read the book and even though they changed a million facts (for example the teacher is an African American in the book and he only has one eye) it was still the best movie I saw this year. Helen Hunt did an amazing job, as well as Haley Joel Osment and, of course, Kevin Spacey. As with all movies, I cried.
The premise of the movie is so pure and well intentioned that you can’t help but feel as you watch it. And it comes back to the good old question of Can You Save The World? The very idea of the answer being no makes me terribly unhappy. You can’t give up. You really can’t. If everyone stopped trying how would the world ever improve? Sorry to preach and meddle. Who am I to tell you what to do? But the thought of people not caring makes me so very miserable that I cannot not say a thing. Please try to think back to the thing that made you jaded and get rid of it. You really can make a difference. On so many levels. If we lose hope, what do we have left?
Sorry, a little too carried away by the movie and the realm of possibilities. I think I’d better go to sleep.
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Many people complain about the net and how it keeps you away from socializing. They talk about the people you meet online and about how those are not real friendships. I have been involved with a writer’s group online for a few years now. I’ve made some amazing friends with whom I shared some of my worst and best moments. If these people mean nothing to us, why did I spend a good portion of my morning crying for the loss of the husband of a woman I only physically met once? As tears strolled down my cheeks, I wished I could be in Canada and do anything for this woman to be okay. She is in my thoughts and my heart. Trust me, she’s a friend.
I’m reading a book in Turkish on improper uses of the language and something the writer said made me ponder. I translate, “If you think that someone who doesn’t use language correctly thinks properly, logically, conceptually, immediately give up that belief. A human is as much as he talks, as much as he writes, how he explains, nothing more. Language is what forms thoughts. No one can think without language.” Do you agree? I’ve had several friends tell me how they cannot put their thoughts properly into any language. According to my author, that would not be possible. Since I started writing, mastering English has been crucial to me. Reading this book makes me feel the same way about Turkish. It takes very little effort to speak your own mother tongue properly and, if you ask me, it’s really worth it.
Diane Ackerman, in her book, talks about how a smell can transport you to a specific place and time and bring back an entire memory. For me, music does that. Each time I hear songs from Roxanne’s Joyride, I get transported to the boat taking me from Burgaz to Istanbul and images of the comic book I used to read back then dance before my eyes. I cannot imagine my life without music.
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Many thoughts today.
I don’t really hang out with Turkish people in the States. I have a few friends from home who live in New York but we see each other once every few months. My boyfriend is American and so are most of my close friends. Or they are Russian, Irish, Brazilian… anything but Turkish. This is not on purpose, but it is a fact. I also read almost exclusively in English. In the last ten years, I’ve read one Turkish book. The funny thing is right after I come back from a visit home, I’m totally immersed into Turkish culture. I’m reading a Turkish book and have been constantly listening to an amazing song by Teoman called Paramparca which translates to ‘in pieces’. Here’s the mp3 if you wanna listen. Even my mother adores this song.
Yesterday I happened to watch CBS’s early show and they had the author of My War : A Love Story in Letters and Drawings from World War II. Mr. Sugarman had just gotten married when he was drafted and his wife gave him a set of watercolors and told him to paint for her. This book is a collection of those paintings and the love letters he wrote to her. I saw some of the pictures and heard an excerpt from the letters and they sound amazing. Even though I’m not usually a fan of war books, I am definitely getting this one.
The same show had a segment on bullying which is a real problem that doesn’t get enough attention. The show talked about a new hotline for the issue. I’m glad someone’s doing something about it.
I feel grateful that I’m not in the selling business. Either a product or a service. I believe selling well requires two strengths that I don’t possess. One, self-confidence and two, ability to suck up well. I’m more on the paranoid side and tend to not think so highly of myself and I can’t suck up to save my life. I would be a surefire failure in the selling business.
October is breast cancer awareness month. Be aware and make others aware.
It’s really amazing how worked up I can get about the debates especially considering that I am not American and I cannot vote. I’m really enraged by some people’s lack of attention and their apathy. You need to care. If you lose hope, what do you have left? Also, I really can’t understand how people can vote for someone who is so obviously a total moron, but we won’t get into that.
Told you I had a lot to say today…
Oh and I must mention the subway series. I hope the Mets win only cause the Yankees already have won so many in a row. It’d be neat to see the Mets in the spotlight for a change.
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At the NYSD I work in the Job Placement area and two weeks ago, I sent a buncha resumes out for office help positions that I found on the Job Bank site. The neat thing is that someone from one of those companies got back to us. He said that he never considered hiring a deaf person but when he got the letter from us, he figured why not. That made me feel magnificent. All you can ask from people, in my opinion, is a ‘Why not?’ That’s the sign of open-mindedness. The willingness to give it a shot is all you need to start. If the door is cracked open even slightly, it means there is a chance you can get in. Most people not only shut it but they lock it to ensure all the ‘different’ people stay away. I’m all for ‘Why Not?’ If I could get everyone to a ‘Why Not?’ I’d be thrilled.
I spent several hours reading the Economist’s election edition. They had information on the different platforms of the two candidates. I think it’s very important that people realize that there are very specific differences in the platforms of the two candidates. Cause both of them are trying so hard not to fuck up so close to the election, it seems that they are agreeing on everything, but trust me, they are not. I think this is a really important election, especially since they are so neck and neck. Each vote will count in this election. Well, unless you live in New York. Or in any of the other, ‘decided’, states.
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Awesome
This is really really awesome.
1. dial 1-800-888-3999 (it’s free)
2. listen to the options
3. when you hear number 7 press number 7
This so made my day!!! Thanks go to Jessica!
Thoughts
My first day back home and it’s pouring. What a bummer.
I watch a lot of TV and I mean a lot. For me to get my work done, the television set has to be on or I can’t function. I generally watch what most people call crappy shows since I multitask while the set is on. Last week I’ve started watching Gilmore Girls and I must say it’s awesome. The dialogue is great, the characters act well and it doesn’t hurt that they are gorgeous. It’s funny. It’s witty. Watch it. You know you want to.
I woke up at 7am today, which isn’t so bad for jetlag. Hopefully, this means I can stay up past 7pm tonight. I managed to write my scene for the novel writing class and get my shit together in enough time. It’s amazing how I get all the necessary stuff done when I have a minimum amount of time left to do them. On the other hand, when I have a week to do something, I never get it done.
Last week, when we had the terrible bombings and killings in the Middle East, the thing that terrified me most was that CNN had a logo for the whole thing within seconds. I find that offensive.
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Well I am back in the land of bagels and cream cheese. My plants are dead but the birdie is joyful and it’s great to see Jake and my apartment. I have a huge headache and my eyes are tired. I still have to write my scene for the novel writing class tomorrow. I am wondering whether I can squueze it after my Japanese class or should I just ask the teacher to hand in both week’s worth. Oh well, we’ll see what comes out tomorrow.
Just a week ago I was all excited to go back to Turkey and today I couldn’t wait to get back to New York. I met three jazz musicians on the plane who play locally, so now I’ll get to see them perform. One of the advantages of living in New York. I always thought New York would be a bad place to raise children. I planned to move to Boston whenever it was time to start a family, but these kids on the plane seemed to hate Boston so much that they made me reconsider. I don’t want my kids raised anywhere with close minded people, which seems to leave only New York or San Francisco as possible alternatives. I just always thought it would be cruel to bring up a kid in an apartment building when I could offer him or her grass to run on. I guess we all wants things for our children that we couldn’t have ourselves. But maybe that’s not the answer.
Very very jetlagged. Going to sleep. Hopefully I’ll be coherent soon.
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My last day at home. I must say that I am ready to go back to my own home. My bed and my apartment and Jake. Not in that order necessarily. My eyes even better today, tho I still can’t believe it all. I had a great vacation this time. Even though I spent a day fasting and another in the hospital, I got to see my two best friends 3 to 4 times each and I got to see many of my high school classmates and I spent hours and hours with my nephews. I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation. The only two regrets I have are that I broke my camera and therefore wasn’t able to take the photographs I had planned to and gosh I can’t even remember the second one right now. It can’t have been that bad I spose. Oh I remembered. It was that I didn’t get to do my hoemwork which is due Monday. I’m gonna have to do it on the plane.
Today I called a friend I hadn’t talked to in over ten years. He’s several years younger than I and we had been quite good friends but lost touch over the years, especially after I left for the States. I was sure he’d forgotten all about me. When another friend mentioned his name and that he’s going to the army (which is required for all men in Turkey) and he said to say hi to me, I decided to track him down. I found his cell phone and called him tonight. I said “You probably don’t remember me but I wanted to call you.” He said, “Of course I remember you, we were the greatest friends. We talked on the phone for so many hours that I fell asleep on the phone, you will always be my friend.” It made my day. It’s amazing how some friends will forever be friends no matter how long has passed since the last time you saw them.
Tomorrow’s post will be late night since I will spend most of the day on the plane. Just a week ago I was all excited about coming home and now I am all excited to be going back home. So many homes.
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Apologies but still not spell checking my posts. My eyes are better today but still blurry and getting on my nerves. It’s amazing how quickly we adapt and start taking things for granted. I can now wake up and see everything and instead of being grateful and feeling blessed, I get annoyed that I can’t see perfectly. I am so spoiled.
On more weird things about Turkey, on October 22nd they are trying to count the population so they can know how many people live in Istanbul. To do this, the government made it illegal to go out. On that day everyone is required to sit at home so people can come around and count the number of people in your household. Nice eh?
I’ve been thinking about my ex boyfriends lately. Of my three, I am only conversant with one. Personally, I’d talk with all three but the other two won’t talk to me. I used to always believe that if you were ever truly in love with someone you could never get over it enough. Not enough to feel comfortable when you see that person with a new lover. Now that I think about it again, I am not sure I still feel that way. My second boyfriend and I dated ten years ago. I loved him very much and we broke up because I left to come to the United States. It’s been ten years or so and he still won’t talk to me. I am confidant that if he were dating someone he was madly in love with it would not bother me one bit. Since I am so happy with my current boyfriend and have found happiness, I wish the same for him. And I wish that someone with whom I’d shared so many great memories would still be in my life enough that I could wish him a happy birthday or a merry christmas. Oh well. I spose one can’t have it all. Or can she? Is it really the case that exes cannot ever stay friends?
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So another day has passed and I can see slighly better. I still can’t see very clearley in a room with lots of lights but being able to see at all without my glasses or contacts is a surreal feeling. I went to an ENT specialist today and defimitely have TMJ. Fun fun.
Yesterday I went to the Bosphorus with my best friend who is an ex-boyfriend. He and I ate ice cream and took a leisurely walk down the seaside. As the sun set and a full moon rose. It was magnificent. As much as I can’t imagine living in Turkey, I love visiting here. The people are amazingly kind, good hearted and welcoming. The sights are breathtakingly beautiful and the food is delicious. It’s a great place to vacation. Especially Burgaz, which is a small island we live on during the summer. It’s so small that there are no cars allowed on the island. Only horse carriages. A real tiny island. Some of my favorite childhood memories are from my days there.
Gotta go now. Rest my eyes. Apologies for any typos but I am trying not to use the machine much, as ordered by the surgeon.
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So I want to the doctor yesterday for a control and ended up having surgery on my eyes. The Lasik surgery. I’ve had pretty bad eyesight since I was in third grade so the idea of opening my eyes in the morning and actually being able to see is amazing beyond belief. The operation was pretty painless tho weird since my eyes were open the entire time. Watching them do the thing is not that much fun but it lasts all of 4 minutes per eye. Afterwards I felt some burning and stinging and today I see kinda blurry but I am all good. No more pain, just bothered by light.
Anyhow gotta go now since I’m not even supposed to use the computer much. More short pdates this week and longer ones later.
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I’ve been thinking more about Istanbul and the changes it underwent. When I was little, we had one TV channel and one radio channel. Both of which were government regulated. I remember the time the second channel started, it was a huge deal. Now we have over a hundred channels and many European ones. We even have cable TV now. Same on the radio, hundreds of choices. I also remember when the first McDonalds opened here. Everyone was so excited. We all queued to get some. We used to have to call an operator to make international calls. We’d give them the number and they’d call us back when the connection was made. As of a few months ago, we even have a subway.
The fast is over. Another year has passed.
My mom and I watched a wonderful movie today called Hasards ou coïncidences by the famous Claude Lelouch. I had seen Les Uns et Les Autres by him many years ago and loved it. That movie is responsible for making me a huge fan of Ravel’s Bolero. It’s been a really long time since I watched an entire movie in French with no subtitles. I must say I suffered quite a bit but I did understand enough to make it all the way to the end. Gotta brush up on my French more. That’s another advantage to being home. I get to hear tons of it.
If you do speak or understand French, I highly recommend the above two movies. Or many others by the same director.
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Goody Links
Checkout PlanetProject. It sounds like a neat idea but I am not sure how it will turn out.
Thoughts
After a fourteen-hour sleep, I feel much better. The most interesting part about visiting a country like Turkey is that it looks totally different each time you come. Even for me, especially for me. The perpetual construction causes the skyline to change dramatically and constantly. People adhere to the strict rules of fashion. A new American-sounding restaurant or cafe opens weekly. When I grew up, we never had most foreign foods. No such thing as cereal or bagels or M&Ms. Now, everything is here. When I first moved to the United States, eight years ago, one dollar was six thousand Turkish Lira and now it’s over six hundred thousand Lira. These are just a few of the changes. For me it’s fascinating each time. It’s also sort of sad cause some of my favorite childhood places have disappeared.
My sister and her husband just bought a house. Besides the fact that there is no such thing as a mortgage here, it’s also weird that they bought the house while it’s being constructed. I mean so much so that it doesn’t even have the toilets installed yet. It leaves most of the work to imagination.
It’s wonderful to be near family. Even though I miss Jake a lot, I love getting to see my parents and my sister and the smiles on the tiny, sweet faces of my nephews. Kids are truly amazing. They are the definition of the word ‘joy’.
Happy Yom Kippur to you. My fast has officially started. May it end quickly and well. Lots of sleeping, reading, and movie watching to do tomorrow.
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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