One of the lessons that came out of my Science of Willpower class was that stress inhibits self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-control. So stress ends up making you want things and shuts down all areas of your brain that can remember your high-level goals.
Which must be why I eat when I am stressed out.
While I believe living a structured, organized life is helpful, I find that stress is not. I think most people equate the two and there are times when that might be true, but it doesn’t have to be so. The more realistic you can be about your day, the easier it is to stick to your schedule and not provoke a stress response. Especially now that I know stress actually shuts down your body, it seems silly to work yourself into a frenzy in an attempt to be productive.
For me, stress often feels like a big bucket of heavy water I carry around. I have to be careful not to spill a drop and my back hurts from the constant load. I know it doesn’t serve me and I know that when I am stressed out, I am not my best self. Which then causes me to do things that upset those I love, which then makes me upset, which, of course, stresses me out.
The loveliest of vicious circles.
So what we discussed in class is figuring out what helps you relieve stress. My friend Caroline likes to run when she’s stressed. While I’ve grown to tolerate running and can even see how it might clear the mind, it will never make my list. One proven item is being in nature. There’s something about seeing the sky and trees that your brain responds to and I can attest that if I can make it out the door to take a walk, I always come back less stressed out.
Other things that work for me are: playing music really loud, hugging my kids tight, journaling, art, and reading.
And I’ve learned something else last week. While I love being at home, sometimes I get stuck in a rut. So, going out to Starbucks and sitting there with my ipad and watching movies from my classes really really lifts my mood. It transports me to a good place and, after a little while, I feel refreshed, and look forward to going home and hugging my kids. So, now, I try to go out regularly. Even if for a little while. It seems to wash away my stress better than anything I can do at home.
That’s my goal this year. To pay attention and regularly take time to unburden my soul. Do whatever I need to, to let go of what doesn’t serve me. If stress shuts down higher thinking then I am absolutely useless when stressed out anyway. Instead of churning and getting myself more and more and more worked up, I need to let go.
Remember that it’s better to take the time, unburden my soul and then tackle whatever it is.
No, it’s not just “better.”
It’s crucial.
Hi,
great blog, now I am checking almost daily in between tasks at work.
Can you let me know where you took “Science of Willpower” class?
Thank you!
shuyi
It’s offered locally by me. You can read her book, which is based on the class: http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583334386/
Karen, I agree with all you wrote and would like to add that there is a cumulative effect of stress. I seem to be able to deal and cope and squeak by most days and then – kaboom! It has snowballed into an “event”. Of course I am also taking about hormone induced stress and being peri menopausal and in a job I abhor etc. and so on and so forth. But I would say that most days I cope, allow the feelings to flow, deal with them as best I can but know that somewhere down the pike (be it a short or longer journey) that there will be a blow out. I think we are still finding our ways as a people living in such a fast and technological society with all the demands required from that and that our bodies have yet to catch up to the speed that is demanded of our brains. Am I rambling? Maybe so. But it was a very thought provoking post.