I watch a lot of TV. A lot. And I’ll be honest, each time I read about how to increase your productivity you need to turn off the TV, I scoff a little. I’ve been watching a lot of TV since I was about 15 and I often can’t do work without it on. Well, in the name of 100% honesty, I will say that most of the time I am not actually watching the TV since I really use it for the noise. I am often processing photos, doing art, or some other recurring task at the same time. When I was in high school and college, I couldn’t do my homework unless the TV was on. And I dare someone to tell me that I am not productive. TV is not the problem. At least not for me.
Alas, this is not a post about TV and whether it will kill your productivity or not.
While I am not very selective about my subject matter and watch just about anything that’s on the air between 8-11, I do make one exception: reality TV. I don’t watch any reality TV. None at all.
When this genre first came to be popular, I watched a few of the shows but it didn’t take me long to realize that they were more focused on humiliation and drama than just about anything else. And I just couldn’t take it. I couldn’t watch people’s worst sides being exposed again and again. Seeing them cry, be made fun of, or just outright humiliated was too much for me. I decided early on to give the whole genre up and have never looked back. (disclaimer: I am sure there are some truly good ones so please don’t take this as a judgement if you do indeed watch them, it’s just my personal opinion.)
After I wrote yesterday’s message, Ann commented: And as another of my friends says when other people’s chaos seems so urgent, “don’t just do something, sit there!” It’s amazing how often crazy-making people will move on to the next person on their emergency list if they don’t get an immediate drama-gratification from me. Of course, that means I don’t get to be their hero; instead I have to be my own hero. That’s substantially harder.
I’m not one of those people who slows down to watch when I see an accident on the road (unless they need help of course). I don’t try to get involved in other people’s drama. While I do also get curious sometimes, I try to stay out of gossip and negative talk. I’ve always tried to be good about this. Sometimes I failed and other times I was more successful.
But for 2012, I decided to make a more drastic change.
I’ve basically wiped out as much of the sarcasm, drama, and gossip out of my life as possible. I just decided that reading sites with negativity or sarcasm was adding to my overall discontented feeling. I’ve stopped reading super-depressing books. I’d already stopped watching the news a long time ago. I just feel like these were taking away from my life and not enhancing it in anyway. Maybe it’s because when I get into it, I am really involved, I deeply care and it ends up becoming a big part of my life. I’ve even been known to care and worry more than the original person.
So now I give it up.
This doesn’t mean a friend cannot come to me with a genuine grief or worry. Of course I am here for that. I am here to support everyone I love and care about. But I am no longer getting involved with the needless drama or gossip. In my life or online. I am trying to move away from people who favor drama and sarcasm. I am trying to focus more on positive and on the real people. I made a point to go through my RSS reader and cleared out a lot of blogs. I took my reading list and eliminated several titles.
I don’t know what it is about the spiral of drama that sucks people in but I just know it puts me in a bad place where I don’t like to be and it takes me away from being the best version of myself. So I’ve chosen to clear the noise around me.
And Ann’s right, of course, it’s hard being my own hero. But it also is so much more satisfying. And so much more worthwhile.
Hi Karen, the more I get to “know” you the more I believe we where meant to “meet” from the excesive tv watching, trough the lack of interest -or understanding/ better leave acting and writing to the professionals- onf reality tv and the not getting involved unnecessarily I could have written this post myself. Thanks for getting it outof my mind.
*Applause*
Karen, every time I read your blog (which I am sad to say isn’t every day!), I am inspired and grounded and feel as if you are speaking to my heart. Reminds me of why my best friend adores her college roommate so! Thanks for brightening my day, as always… 🙂
I can’t believe ANYONE would dare call you unproductive! That is just nuts!
I too refuse to watch the news, (most)reality tv and have abandon most message boards due to drama and pettiness. My sarcasm is mostly focused on myself…but is something I need to work on.
I think your outlook on life is amazing. I am honored that you share so much with all of us here in blogland. I hope that 2012 provides you with much peace and PRODUCTIVITY 😉
It’s so rare to find a blog like yours, with a person like you – a real, honest, person, willing to put their actual thoughts and feelings and family out there. I found you through the Jump Start Summit and you have been the absolute best, hands down. I’m not a frequent commenter (I’m not so great with words), but I am really enjoying your blog and I wanted you to know.
Funny to hear that you use the tv the same way I use it, in the background – watching with touren ears 😉 I do the exact same thing.
Thanks for sharing so much
/Helene from Sweden
Love your honesty and I agree… that we all have to make a decision about what’s best for “me”… it’s the old saying, that you have to help yourself, before you can be a help to others. It’s not selfish, it’s sane! I’ve realized that I need ambient noise as well… like the silence is too quiet!
at times like this “mark all as read” is my friend. i just read the few blogs i really want and let the others go 🙂
I’ve been looking at my RSS feed this afternoon and feeling a bit intimidated – after two days of actually living in the real world, I’m 400 headlines behind. I’ll spend Friday night catching up on depressing stories about people I don’t know… or I’ll delete the dozen news/geek/tech/gossip feeds and get on with the stuff that actually inspires me. Thank you for echoing my own thoughts, albeit much better worded!
Well said Karen!!!
LOVE reading your blog!!! I’m with you on having the TV on all the time… I like the noise… rarely could I tell you what the show is about. I do however tape a few of my favorite shows… love the Food Network! I also quit watching the news years ago and refuse to see any movies or read any books that could be sad, depressing or violent. Who needs that negativity???
I totally agree with you about that drama–it just sucks SO much out of life, and doesnt add anything in its place.
So glad to find some others who don’t want to watch all the negative, violent, and/or sad TV & news–books too. YAY! Now if we could only get more people to do it we could actually make a difference in TV programming, movies and books published. And the drama–who needs it! Thanks for a wonderful post Karen! My main reason for taking your BPC class (Reclaiming my time) is to cut out more TV and do more positive things instead with that time.
I don’t watch TV at all – well hardly ever – I decided that years ago as I didn’t like the way I could never fully commit to what I was doing but I’m not a good multi-tasker, I don’t even enjoy music on all the time – I like getting “lost” in what I am doing, and with 4 kids I’m sure you can imagine that doesn’t happen too often! I also gave up on sad and violent books and movies some years back, to the criticism of quite a few actually, but despite the fact that it’s reality, it doesn’t have to be my reality, as it just leaves me, like you, worryign about it, and I can’t change the world…I’ve distanced myself from drama in all forms, people included, and while I’m related to some of those people, as they won’t change & constantly want to cause it, the way I see it I had no other choice!
I had to stop watching tv around 1996. Not because of the time-wasting factor, but the sexual violence was too much for my tender stomach. For 12 years I didn’t even have a tv. And you are right about the reality tv shows, never ever in my home.
For background noise I do much better with music streaming. Love the Secret Agent and Datempo Lounge channels on ITunes radio.
It was amazing how some people had nothing to converse with me about when I eliminated tv.
The hardest part of minding one’s own business is finding some business to mind.
Keep on doing the work, you are an inspiration!
Wow! I too, cannot watch the news because it is too depressing. When I see people hurt, I hurt with them. i applaud you in your decision to cut down on the noise and the drama. I can easily get sucked in to other peoples’ drama, out of my desire to help. At times I have been able to distance myself, in an effort to keep myself whole and well. I must continue to make that effort and as you say, be my own hero. It is hard, especially for people who are natural helpers, caretakers, or like me, in the helping profession.
Great post! Thanks so much!!
I’m the same way about the tv, especially when I’m the only one in the house, I need the background noise when I’m working on things. I’m actually enjoying watching the old shows that I used to watch when I was a kid, but don’t know who many of the people are in the entertainment magazines anymore. Don’t think I’m missing much there! I also agree about the drama, I’ve never liked it, and learned early because I have a sister who revels in it. It’s too exhausting for me. I have felt like I should keep up on the current news for some reason, but really, now that I’ve read what you said I wonder why I’ve felt this way. It’s just depressing and almost always presents the worst side of human nature. I found your blog while reading up on journal making, so I’ll get back to that!