On My Mind – 03 – Self-Care

One of my goals for this month has been trying to take things up a notch when working on Nourishing myself. Part of that has been exercise, part of it has been nutrition and then part of it has been kindness to my body like taking care of my skin, flossing, sleeping enough etc. 

But then another component was self-care. I wrote that I’d get one bonus point for a Self-Care item. When I wrote that down, I didn’t have a lot of ideas about what that could be, so I made a list for myself. Here’s what I had there:

  • face mask
  • soaking my feet
  • bubble bath
  • essential oils
  • mani/pedicure 
  • getting my hair done
  • connecting with friends
  • massage
  • meditate
  • nap

So that’s my list. But I would like to expand this list a lot more. I would like to end up with 30 items so I have something different to pick each day and some days I might want to do several to pamper myself.  I also want to understand what self-care means to me. Many of these are taking care of my body more but what about my soul and my mind, how do I practice self-care on those? Obviously journaling and art help. And meditation can serve both, but I still want to find others.

That’s what’s on my mind this week. I’d love to hear your ideas if you have some.


On My Mind is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Stories from 2018 – 03 – The Whole30

I’ve been following Melissa Hartwig on Instagram for a while and I’ve recently read the Food Freedom Forever book, so the idea of doing a Whole30 has been nagging at me for a while. I’ve looked into the Whole30 before and decided it wasn’t my cup of tea for a multitude of reasons but this time I felt like I could do it.

So since January 1, I’ve been doing the Whole30. I’ve also quit caffeine just to make it more fun. 

I am traveling to Sydney on January 31 so I figured that gives me exactly 30 days. The way the program works, you’re supposed to slowly introduce foods back after the 30th and see the impact they have on you, so we’ll see how much of that will be possible considering flights and international locations etc. but I am trying not to worry about that too much at the moment. 

For now the plan is to keep going the 30 days and see how I feel. On the first two days, I had very strong headaches (likely due to no caffeine) but since then it’s been okay. I don’t find it to be super hard. Unfortunately the cafeteria at work cooks the morning eggs with rice bran oil so I can’t have it, which is a bummer. Other than that, I haven’t had a lot of hiccups. I’ll be on vacation for a weekend so we’ll see how it goes but I have faith that I can keep this going at this point (hopefully I won’t be wrong.)

I miss the coffee the most I think. Mostly for the ritual of it. And chocolate though I’ll say I haven’t craved it. When the kids toast bread, the smell triggers a bit but I don’t miss toast at all. If I cooked it would be a lot easier to have variety but I don’t so I end up making a batch of veggies, chicken and steak and then eat some variety of avocado, veggies, egg/meat for each meal. That makes for a lot of avocados in a day so I do need to curb that a bit. 

So far, I don’t have huge benefits. My skin is a bit better, but that’s about it. I’ll report back at the end of the month.  If you’ve done a Whole30 and have advice, I’d always love it.

 


Stories from 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018here.

Stronger Than Before – 03

Weekly Intention:  This is a short week. Only four days of work and two of those are lighter. I have a really long and tough Wednesday but otherwise it’s not terrible. My intention this week is to try to soften into the week. Be just a little bit kinder, be just a little bit calmer, not to jump in or interrupt. Also calmer and more patient with my folk at home and with myself, too.

This month’s intention is: Strong Silent Type: Your challenge this month is to speak less, listen more. How can you influence with fewer words. At work, at home, even in your own head. Pause one more beat before replying. Mute the VC. Wait six seconds. Do what it takes to give this a try. I think this is a perfect way to start the year. There is a lot I have to get done this month and I like the challenge of learning how to do it more quietly. Can I influence with fewer words?

One way I will stretch this week:  My new client ended up being this week. Let’s see how I can stretch.

One boundary I will set this week: Since it’s a short week, it’s going to be easy for my bedtime to get sacrificed this week, so I will guard it heavily. Same with journaling.

This week, I will focus on pleasing: Maybe it’s Nathaniel’s turn this week, I’d like to spend a bit of extra time with him.

One new thing I will learn this week: I want to learn a bit about how to use the hand-roller this week. I tried to use it this past weekend and didn’t know how to do it right.

One area where I will go deeper this week: I did try working on the hint waters and the pineapple one is amazing! I’ve also had watermelon which is okay. This week’s depth will be getting all the process started for 2018. I’ve been putting it off (at work) and it’s time.

What do I need to sit with this week? I need to sit with all the not-enough feelings I have when it comes to my body and exercise and getting stronger. I have so many beliefs around all this. that I am not strong enough. that i am uncoordinated. that i can’t learn certain things. that i will never be able to do certain things. I need to sit with all of this and remember that they will be the exact reason why I don’t succeed

I am looking forward to: seeing my friend jess this week, it’s been way way too long since we saw each other.

This week’s challenges: The biggest challenge will be the very long Wednesday. Also getting all the organizational work started. It’s always a lot of work up front.

Top Goals: 

  • Work: do the spreadsheets. get okrs done.
  • Personal: keep going with the routine. 
  • Family: find a class for Nathaniel.

I will focus on my values:

  • Love: Love for my friends this week. i will make a list of my friends and see if i can sprinkle them into my life more.
  • Learn: this week is all about learning how to serve my new teams best.
  • Peace: Peace during long work days and peace during exercise this week.
  • Service: this week’s service is going to focus on nathaniel. he’s been neglected for a while.
  • Gratitude: i think making sure i take photos of our special times together will be my gratitude this week. 

This week, I want to remember:  that I have a way of blowing things off proportion. always over-worrying. and thankfully, things, almost always, work out ok. 


Stronger Than Before is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 02

How I got Stronger this week: I exercised every day this week and also went back to the gym at work and did three Body Pump classes even though I was feeling all sore after the first one. I woke up on Monday morning and it was pitch black, pouring rain, but I still did my short cardio, got dressed and drove in for my 7am class just to drive back home at 8am when it was done. I am so proud of myself. I created more boundaries with some of the volunteer work I do at the kids’ school this week. I also tried to show up for work but also for myself. I’ve been working hard on myself. But even at work, I am working on taking things less personally and panicking less in general. 

Top Goals Review:  ready for the meeting, went back to the gym and sent off david’s round one. woot!

I celebrate: our mini vacation

I am grateful for: a long weekend

Karen’s Points: I did well this week too. I got full points everyday and I’ve been making a concerted effort to keep up with everything. 

A Change I embraced:  I quit caffeine this month as well and that’s been challenging even with the tea since I usually drink black tea. I’ve been experimenting with several herbal teas, trying to find one that I like the most. 

I let go of:  working myself into a frenzy at work. I am trying to pace myself better.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: I am exploring what it looks like when I drop my assumptions at work and at home. I have so many things churning in my head at all times and I am trying to pay attention to the noise so I can work on clearing it a bit. It starts with paying attention.
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is beautiful Southern California. The sun, the ocean waves, and the palm trees. Makes me wonder why we ever left San Diego.
  • Lighter: I will say that the vacation helps me feel lighter too. Just taking a bit of time off. 
  • True: I’ve been speaking up at work and trying to make sure I am honest with my perspective.

Where I chose Joy: I didn’t want to take a vacation, i am always happier at home. Or so I think. It’s not that I am happier at home, it’s that I am happy enough at home and inertia is always strong with me. So I chose joy by taking my family on vacation. 

I showed up for: for Jake this week. 

A Mistake I made this week: This is not unique to this week but I made it this week so I am going to document. When I feel like I am disappointing someone or letting them down, it really makes me trigger. So then I go on and on yelling or being upset because this other person put me in a position where I have to let them down. There are two major things here: if i don’t want to do it then this is part of boundary building and I have to teach myself that i am choosing to let this person down and i can apologize but i don’t need to get all wound up. It’s not about them, it’s about me. And secondly, I need to learn that I am going to let people down and it’s part of life. Ideally I’d do it as little as possible and less to people I love but even then it will happen. I don’t need to make it worse by yelling I can apologize and leave it at that and learn to get comfortable with the feeling of discomfort that will bring. 

What I tolerated this week: a lot of non-work related meetings. i had clients and school meetings and it took away the little free time I had. 

My mood this week was: i felt energized in the beginning of the week after I went to the gym.

I forgive myself for: reading less this week, there wasn’t enough time. also for being difficult.

What I love right now: I the waves hitting the beach, my favorite nature sound.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Moments from this Week – 02

Since I don’t have this week’s page yet, I thought it would be fun to show you some of my spreads from the last few months and show you how easy and versatile this project is. 

On a good week, I put two photos and text for the day. This is my typical and ideal way of doing this project. Journaling and photos daily.

But some weeks are really rushed and I don’t get to the project until the end of the week. And sometimes I only have photos.

Sometimes I have a little extra text throughout the week and then mostly photos. I try to make sure to include our family photos each weekend. And then if I have extra weekend photos they might go on that week’s spread or the next.

I am not super worried about lining up the days exactly right. If the photo is from this or last week, it qualifies for any of the days unless it’s really important for me to remember that it was on a particular day.

And very rarely, I have so so many, that I have to add an extra page. I try not to overdo that because it will make my album very bulky.

Having said that I definitely add ephemera from the week. Nathaniel’s letters home, David’s infographic, they all make it into my book!

 

And there you go, some examples for you until I get the first week down. (This one will likely be high on photos and low on text!)


Moments from this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Books I Read This Week 2018 – 2

 

 

 

 

 

So I ended 2017 with 305 books, not bad.

I had Improvement on my library list and wasn’t sure I was going to like it but once I started reading it, I didn’t want to stop. So net-net good read, though not fantastic.

I’d checked out Britt-Marie Was Here at least six times from the library but was never in the mood. I finally read it and I love love loved it of course.

I ended the year with Food Freedom Forever because I’ve been following Hartwig on Instagram and her strength is inspiring to me. I’d never done a Whole30 before the book but I’ve done other similar things. I like the idea of eliminating mostly to pay closer attention to how food affects my body+mood+skin etc. So I am doing a Whole30 this January to test it out. We’ll see how it works.

I started 2018 with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before because I’d never heard of it and apparently it’s being made into a movie in 2018 so I thought it would be fun to read it and it was so much fun that I read the rest of the series: P.S. I still love you  and Always and Forever, Lara Jean. I can’t say they were amazing, but they were like candy. Sweet. And since I am not having actual candy this month, I figured it was okay to substitute 🙂

An Appeal to the World was a super-quick read that I am glad I took a side tour for.

And finally The Music Shop was the first book of 2018 that I love love loved. I really like Rachel Joyce so I wasn’t surprised that her book would be amazing but since it was about a record shop, I wasn’t sure how I would like it. In the end, I loved it. So much heart.

Here’s to another week of wonderful reading.


Books I Read this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

On My Mind – 02 – The Boring Middle

 

I haven’t felt like doing art lately. I still find myself going to the websites of different art courses and looking wistfully. There is a big part of me that wants to jump in and take all the classes. Watercolors, sketching, art journaling, give me all of them. 

But here’s the truth: there’s almost no magic to learning something new. Sure, there’s proper technique and there are materials that make it easier than others and there’s perspective, etc etc. But the biggest trick in learning something is putting in the hard work. It’s not the shiny beginning but the boring, long, dull, windy, and frustrating middle that matters most. You don’t just start. You have to show up again and again and again. Day after day. Even when you think you suck. Especially when you think you suck. When you’re tired. When you are frustrated, when you want to give up. When you believe there’s no way you can ever get this right. When you are convinced you have no talent whatsoever (and then remember that you believe in growth mindset.) 

If you want to see results, you have to show up again and again. This isn’t just true for art, of course. It’s true for music. For eating well. For exercising. For work. For school. For anything where you want to achieve consistent and positive results, you have to do the work. 

There are times when the work feels like fun. Some people love running. The endorphins, the joy of the fresh air on their face, and their feet hitting the dirt road is all they seek. To them, exercise is not hard work. Some people love cooking. Preparing nutritious meals is not their boring middle. There are things that we love to do so we make time for them. Like I do with books.

But then there are things that don’t come naturally. That require discipline and planning to do. Art is like that for me. (So is exercising and eating well!) And even though I’ve loved doing the monthly art pieces, I just haven’t been feeling it. And because I am not feeling it, I am not showing up regularly. And because I am not showing up regularly, I am really out of shape. So it’s that much more frustrating when I do show up because I’ve rusted. 

So that’s what on my mind this week. How do I get myself to fall in love with art again? How do I make room for it in my daily life? How do I continue to foster this because I know that when I do do art regularly, I am always happier. Always.

It’s just a matter of finding my way back.

 

 


On My Mind is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Stories from 2018 – 02 – Marine Headlands

On the last day 2017, the kids and Jake and I decided to go on a mini adventure. Years and years ago, when I was pregnant with Nathaniel, I had taken a mindfulness course at work and it included a day-long meditation at the Marine Headlands. It was one of the most peaceful days of my life and I’ve remembered it forever even though I didn’t remember where it was. Just a few days ago, I finally looked up the email so I could find out where it was and asked Jake if we could take a trip there so I could enjoy it again. 

So on New Year’s eve, we got in the car and drove all the way to Marin. The drive was long but so, so, so worth it. We had lovely views of the Golden Gate Bridge and then drove up to the very top. We also tried to go to the lighthouse but it was closed. 

The very best part, bar none, was Rodeo Beach. Which is my new favorite place. This whole day was an absolutely wonderful way to end the year and I am already making plans to go back to the beach.

Here are a lot of photos from our lovely day. 


Stories from 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018here.

Stronger Than Before – 02

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Weekly Intention:  This is the first real week of the year. I have a full load of meetings, David has an orthodontist appointment, the work gym is finally open again and I have one to possibly two client meetings. A lot going on. And within all that I still plan to maintain my personal exercise routine, whole30 eating, and minimum 8 hours of sleep.  I think the intention I want to set more than anything else this week is to go slowly and quietly. It lines up well with my monthly intention, too. I want to be as slow as it’s possible for me to be. Still, quiet, and considerate. I think it’s possible to be these things and passionate at the same time. Let’s see if I am right.

This month’s intention is: Strong Silent Type: Your challenge this month is to speak less, listen more. How can you influence with fewer words. At work, at home, even in your own head. Pause one more beat before replying. Mute the VC. Wait six seconds. Do what it takes to give this a try. I think this is a perfect way to start the year. There is a lot I have to get done this month and I like the challenge of learning how to do it more quietly. Can I influence with fewer words?

One way I will stretch this week:  I might possibly have a new client this week. This always creates opportunities to stretch.

One boundary I will set this week: As the meetings start flooding in, I plan to keep my personal priorities at the top of the list. I will not sacrifice my personal goals on behalf of work.

This week, I will focus on pleasing: I have some serious deliverables at work next week, I’d like to make sure to focus hard on prioritizing work early in the week to ensure I can get ready.

One new thing I will learn this week: I didn’t spend enough time coming up with self-care ideas last week so I plan to focus on this a bit this week.

One area where I will go deeper this week: Since I quit caffeine and I already don’t drink soda, liquids have been a bit tough lately. My plan this week is to experiment with different hint waters and teas so create a collection of drinkable options.

What do I need to sit with this week? My head has been constantly challenging me about this path i am taking. Do I really need to exercise? Whole30? Am I crazy? Why can’t I just eat everything in moderation? Why would i quit caffeine? It doesn’t even affect me that much. All this is so hard, just give it up already, blah blah blah. It’s constant. I need to sit with it and let it come and go. Listen to it, thank it and release it.

I am looking forward to: work because i really want to get organized. and getting my hair done this week, too.

This week’s challenges: The biggest challenge will be getting a solid chunk of work done early in the week. f I can pull that off, I will feel much better. Also, going back to the gym, I assume, will also be challenging.

Top Goals: 

  • Work: get ready for next week’s meeting, milestones +OKRs done, date picked for offsite
  • Personal: add the gym back into this new routine + keep going
  • Family: finish off and send D’s round one

I will focus on my values:

  • Love: My kids are also transitioning from rest to school so I want to give them some extra love this week.
  • Learn: I need to learn how to cook a few more dishes so I can have some variety.
  • Peace: Peace during meetings, peace with chores, peace with kids this week.
  • Service: I’d like to help my nephew this week for his scholarship application.
  • Gratitude: As i journal daily, I think it would be good to add a small gratitude to my words.

This week, I want to remember:  that I am going to be okay. That everything is going to be okay.  And also that even though the days are long, the years are so so short and I want to make sure to pay attention and love my precious people madly.


Stronger Than Before is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 01

 

How I got Stronger this week: I woke up every single day this week and exercised. I was quieter and more reserved. Or I tried to be. I went to bed early every night. I showed up even when I didn’t feel like it. I showed up for my friend, several times. 

Top Goals Review:  I started my food plan, finished reviewing david’s essays and did todo list for work. Matching still needs a bit more work. So does my calendar.

I celebrate: starting my exercise and food regimen. I am really proud of myself. especially for the cardio which is so hard for me.

I am grateful for: this being a light week. there was no traffic and i was able to work from home all week and it was just a lovely transition. 

Karen’s Points: I did well this week so far. I’m keeping track on a spreadsheet and journaling daily about my thoughts. It’s not easy. I don’t love the exercising and I do want to quit it all every day, but I promised myself I’d give it a try so I am not quitting until that’s over.

A Change I embraced:  Waking up and exercising first thing. Adding cardio. These are big changes for me. Oh and I guess the Whole30 counts, too 🙂

I let go of:  sugar and caffeine this week. it was really really really hard. 

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: Hmm fresh new way of looking at food this week.
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is when I snuggle up with Nathaniel in bed in the dark and we laugh and hug. I love it so.
  • Lighter: I’ve been taking it easier at work so far. Doing things but trying not to feel panic around them and just taking it all one step at a time.
  • True: One way I’ve stayed true to myself this week has been going to bed really early. I’ve gone to bed between 7-9 all week and it’s been wonderful to rest.

Where I chose Joy: Hmmm….I think I’ve had a lot of joy taking my kids back and forth to the school bus this week. I know that sounds odd, but I love those moments together. 

I showed up for: for David this week. He lost his backpack so I ended up having to drive all the way to the school but it was worth it. (He found it!)

A Mistake I made this week: I didn’t respond the way I would have liked on Friday when he lost yet another item.

What I tolerated this week: Feeling hungry and tired all week. 

My mood this week was: meh. but not bad. just sort of slow.

I forgive myself for: not getting as much done. taking it slow.

What I love right now: I love the slow start to this year. I love that I am trying to be more level-headed. I hope I can continue some of this attitude and perspective.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Moments from this Week – 01

I started scrapping when David was born and have done it in some capacity or another for ten years. At some point, I was on at least four design teams. It was all wonderful and I enjoyed every moment of it but about two years ago, I stopped most of it. I still do a few projects a year. Most notably, I do One Little Word, December Daily and the occasional Day in the Life or Week in the Life projects. But I used to scrap a lot more and I just don’t anymore. Even though I am mostly okay not to be scrapping, the part I miss is capturing and telling the little daily stories of our lives. But Project Life never really worked for me so I wasn’t sure what to do and I’d pretty much given up, until I saw all these wonderful posts from Stephanie Howell about her happy planner, I sat on it for a few more weeks but then I decided I wanted to give it a try. It seemed simple enough and I knew it would give me a reason to take more photos and tell more stories from our day.

So I bought this journal and then I drove down to Michael’s and bought a bunch of the sticker books and the punch (which I’ve only used once.) and I also bought this polaroid printer (which I no longer use.) And I got to work.

Twenty weeks later, it’s my very favorite project!

  • I love how simple it is.
  • I love how it encourages me to take more photos without adding too much pressure.
  • I love how I can glance at my whole week at once.
  • I love how it combines words and photos and if I want I can have more photos and fewer words or vice versa.
  • I love how I can glance at my whole year in one book.
  • I love everything about this project!

I wanted to make sure not to spend a ton of money on this project up front in case it didn’t stick. So after about ten weeks when I knew I was keeping up with with and enjoying it, I let myself add a few more items to my pile. Here are all the things I have/use now:

  • Punches: I have this punch and this punch but I use both of them pretty rarely but I like having them. I’d say neither is required.
  • Printers: As I mentioned, I started with the polaroid printer even though I already had an instax. I knew the polaroids were exactly the right size and I thought that would be worth it, but it didn’t take me long before I knew I absolutely hated the quality of those photos so I then I went searching for a small, compact printer for my desk. I ended up with this picturemate which I was lucky enough to find in “new” condition for $80 and I’ve been using it ever since. I am very happy with it.
  • Stickers: I don’t use too many stickers but I bought a few packs and they’ve lasted me plenty so far. I’ve also bought a few deco pens, some washi tape, and one cardstock pack for a few addons (which I’ve only used once so far.)

Overall, it hasn’t been a huge investment for a project that brings me joy each week and will last 16 months. I will share the weekly layout here each week. 


Moments from this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Books I Read This Week 2018 – 1

 

 

 

 

 

Since I’ve been home and sick most of this week, I read another big batch of course. All of these were read when it was still 2017 so they go in that category. It’s Friday here so I have two more days until this year’s over. It looks like I will finish this year having read 304 books or so. Definitely the most I’ve read in recent history.

I started this week with The Last Black Unicorn which I knew nothing about except that it showed up as recommended or best of the week in every site I visited. As it turned out, it wasn’t a good fit for me at all. I won’t go into the details because I think all the reasons I didn’t like this book were personal to me. Your mileage might vary.

Nourishing Intimacy was another one in my Audible pile and I can always use Tara Brach to take me to a better place. And this was wonderful, of course.

I then tackled Pema’s Coming Closer to Ourselves because it was also on my Audible pile. I love Pema Chodron. I love the way she speaks, I love her wisdom, her honestly, and how readily she shares how flawed she is. I am so glad to have discovered her.

I then read Stick with It because it looked like a good book to start new year’s plans with. It was okay but nothing magical for me. I feel like I stick with things in general so I wasn’t expecting a miracle here but it was still good.

I haven’t read enough Tony Robbins so I was excited to see Unlimited Power at the library but once I started it, I realized it was a super-abridged version at less than one hour. What I listened to was good but of course it was ridiculously short.

It Ends with Us was a recommendation by the most popular reviewer on Goodreads. I don’t usually read Colleen Hoover and I knew nothing about this book because the recommender said not to read what it’s about. I will say I read it super fast, however, I am not sure it was the right book for me. Had I read what it was about, I might have chosen not to read it. 

I picked up Inventing Joy from the library and had no idea what it was about. I thought it was about joy but it’s not, it’s actually about a woman named Joy. The one who invented the miracle mop and her life was made into a movie a few years ago, which I’d watched and liked, so there really was no reason for me to read the book, but the reading was so compelling that I couldn’t stop. I really enjoyed it.

Motherest is the only other fiction I read this week, besides Colleen Hoover, and it was a story about families and mother-daughter relationship and I enjoyed it.

I am almost done with my next book and then have a few more on my pile, so we’ll see how many more I can get through. 


Books I Read this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.