Daily Diary – March 19 2010

I normally don’t start with Nathaniel photos but for reasons I can’t really explain this photo took my breath away so it’s my photo of the day today. It was another wonderful day with soulful friends, endless chatter, blazing sunshine, and a mini adventure trip. Nathaniel has been the perfect trooper this whole time. He’s such a good little baby and really not a complainer in any way. It’s pure joy to have him in my life.

Well except from 12am-2am last night where he thought it would be more fun to hang out with me than to sleep. But other than that, he’s been the best baby ever.

Note to Self:
I’ve been thinking about kindness a lot lately. Being kindred spirits. Feeling a sense of belonging. Finding your place in the world. Finding your people. I wonder a lot about the importance, relevance, necessity of all that. About having the guts to put yourself out there. Whether it’s to find a partner or a friend. And how much kindness matters. How much authenticity matters. It’s rare to find authentic people these days. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s even possible. And then I wonder if that’s my insecurity taking over. Anyhow. Not sure where this is coming from and what my point is. But these are the thoughts in my head today.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting to stay in your pajamas with good friends and chatting for hours on end.
2. Art. I am grateful for art. For the beauty it adds into the world. For how happy it makes me.
3. I am grateful for a few moments of quiet so I can update here and sit back and think about the two full days I’ve had a bit. Sometimes it’s hard to think when it’s all happening.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
(Jake’s been emailing these to me while I’m away. It’s my favorite email.)
1.Watching scooby doo on TV
2. Playing t-ball in the backyard

Weekly Gratitude – Good Appliances

Our theme for March is home.

The journaling reads:
This might seem awfully silly to some people but I’ve grown to appreciate our appliances. The house we lived in before this had an oven from the 60s. It didn’t work at all and on rare occasions when it did, it was hazardous to our health. Literally.

I have never been a cook. During the years we lived in New York, I worked eighteen-hour days and there was no time to sleep, let alone cook. My singular attempt in 1997 was met with criticism and that was all I needed to stop attempting.

And yet, over the years, especially after we had kids, I’ve found the urge to cook more and more. So when we moved to this house and finally had high quality appliances, I told myself that this was a sign that it was time for me to finally learn how to cook.

And I have. I still have a long way to go but I am enjoying the process tremendously and so is my family.

Daily Diary – March 18 2010

I am in this beautiful piece of heaven of a place. Capitola, Ca. With a set of wonderful women. So just a few words today.

Here’s today’s Nathaniel:

Internet here is really really blotchy. So I am going to try to keep up but see if I can.

Note to Self:
I must say there was many worries in my mind for this weekend but there’s nothing like being around other wonderful people. people you like and it’s really good for your soul.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Beautiful beautiful weather… love it.
2. I am grateful that Nathaniel has the best doctor. He woke up with a fever of 102 again this morning and the doctor took us immediately. (he still has an ear infection 🙁 )
3. Grateful for good friends today 🙂

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. finding money at school
2. looking at the star wars movies in mommy’s condo

Digital Downloads – Date Strips

This week’s download is some date strips. They come with circles and underlines to select. Here is what they look like:

You can download it here: Date Strips download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you’d like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don’t have to but I’d appreciate a link back if you do use them.


This is part of a weekly digital download series. They are posted every Thursday. You can find all of the ones that were posted here. If you like my downloads, please click here and give me ideas/requests for 2010. I would like to continue this feature but I am not sure I can come up with enough ideas on my own.


A Book A Week – NurtureShock


I’ve attempted to read several Po Bronson books. He always tends to write about subjects I’m interested in. Back when I worked on Wall Street, he’d written about bonds. Then, as I was struggling about what career to move to, he wrote about exactly that. But somehow I’ve never been able to actually finish one of his books.

So when I read about NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children I thought it might be worth another try. Since my method of listening to non-fiction and reading fiction is working so well so far, I thought maybe it might do the trick.

And it did.

I listened to the whole book and enjoyed all of it. I cringed through some of it (like where it talks about teenagers and lying) but I thought all of it was very thought provoking. As with many studies, I am sure some of these have biased samples or other flaws. I am sure a bunch of others will be proven otherwise in a year or five. Etc. etc. But still, I thought everything they talked about was interesting and worth considering and thinking about.

Any book that gets me thinking, that gives me a new perspective, a new set of tools for my kids is worth reading in my opinion.

Daily Diary – March 17 2010

Last time we went on vacation, this is what it looked like. I hope that won’t be the case for tomorrow’s vacation. (chances are low.)

Nathaniel loves hanging out at David’s table. It’s his favorite place.

David doesn’t yell at him but he’s pretty good at ignoring him.

Still congested and frustrated and annoyed honestly.

Note to Self:
It’s amazing to me that I can go from being extremely happy to really sad in moments. For no reason even. I can read into a few words in an email and have them mean wildly different things than the sender intended and have that destroy my mood, my day, my feelings about a situation. How terribly stupid is that? I wonder what the trick is to avoid feeling like this? Is there a way I can stop myself before I dive into the despair and self-pity?

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that my husband was able to take time away and I can go on this trip tomorrow. We both work pretty hard so it’s good to know that we can take time when needed.
2. I am grateful for a teeth-cleaning today. It had been way too long.
3. Grateful for a low-key week and I have two TV shows I’m looking forward to watching tonight.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing house at school (he got to be the Daddy. It’s my game, he said, I’m always Daddy.)
2. Watching Daddy mow the lawn. It was fun for me too! 🙂

Catalyst 105 – A Shared Fear

Catalyst One Hundred and Five is: Tell a random childhood memory

Thoughts:
My sister and I fought pretty much all the time as kids. One day, I got really mad at her and banged her door on my way out. Within seconds, I heard this really loud crashing sound and when I opened the door, I saw that her window had broken. Since we were both much more afraid of our mom finding out than anything else, we immediately forgot about our fight and collaborated on a solution. With the help of our dad, the window was replaced without a trace of what happened, before my mom came home.

Daily Diary – March 16 2010

I am running out of photos, I need to go take some. I haven’t taken time to do that in a while.

Nathaniel is eating a lot of food by himself lately. All sorts of fruits, cheese, bread, etc. and it’s good for me cause I can do things while he eats and he can pace himself as he likes but it’s also so much fun to watch him pick things up and stick them in his mouth and smack his lips. Just a joy.

David reunited with his ipod today and he’s overjoyed. He’d forgotten about it and I’d kept it away for a while. But I don’t mind him watching movies. Much better than TV since there are no commercials.

And here’s one of Nathaniel crawling. It’s blurry, I know but I love that his little foot is in there.

I am still having an allergy attack and my nose and eyes are all red and dripping and it’s no fun. But the medication to fix it also dries up my milk so I am stuck this way until it goes away. I pray that it’s soon.

Another layout done today, that makes 5 in 4 days, not so bad. I then did a lot of work, too. I am really excited that I am getting stuff done and going through my todo list. It’s nice to cross things off. There are a few insistent ones sitting there but I plan to finish them before the week’s out, too. Then I can start planning for May.

Note to Self:
I’ve been thinking a lot about being unreliable lately. Over the years, it’s become a trait that irritates me more and more. I feel like if you say you should do something then you should do it. On most occasions, no one is forcing you to commit to something so it’s often by will. And I know life gets in the way sometimes. I respect that but most often it’s cause some people have no integrity and don’t value their word or promise. I don’t want to be a person like that. To anyone. I really want to be careful what I commit to and I want to make sure I can actually do what I say I will, when I say I will. Is that possible all the time? I want to take a good look at my life and see what I promise and see if I can deliver it without pain and agony. I want to be able to have my word mean something. I also want to surround myself with others who practice the same thing.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting my layouts done. I am grateful for the joy they give me and for the sense of accomplishment I’m getting from doing them.
2. I put together an art journal/journal of sorts last night. I used my trees from last week and some papers from a kit I’d bought from Rebecca Sower. I am planning to take it with me on my trip and I am grateful for the possibilities it’s opening in me now. Maybe it’s the first art journal I can actually use.
3. I am grateful for competent customer support. I have the luxury of going through business tech support for some of my devices and it’s amazing what a difference it makes. Grateful for speedy service and kind people who take the time to resolve my problems.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Getting to watch movies in his ipod (surprise, surprise!)
2. Playing superheroes at school (he was Batman again. I’m always Batman, he says)

Weekly Gratitude – The Daunting Task of Being Perfect

This week’s words are dedicated to those of you who had great intentions but have still not started this project due to a plethora of reasons. I’m sure they are all good ones and I am not here to discount any of them but I am here to challenge you to make this week be the week to jump in with both feet.

Assuming you’re still interested.

I am loving this project so much that I started getting my son to play along, too. As I’ve already mentioned, I write down three things I’m grateful for each day and as of a few weeks ago now I write two things my son’s grateful for each day, too. It’s become one of our bedtime rituals. If you have little ones, I highly recommend it.

Back to my point, I was listening to a podcast today and some artists were discussing how they cannot start a project because they can’t think of the perfect medium or the perfect time or they don’t have it all planned out yet and so they can’t even begin. I am a big planner, so I totally understand the need to have things figured out before you start but at the same time, I also believe in the power of diving in with both feet. Is it better to have nothing instead of something imperfect?

There are cases where I can see the value of being perfect (or as close as possible). If it’s for a job where you might otherwise be fired or hurt someone (like a doctor might). If it’s something where the goal is to master that particular craft or field etc. I can understand the need to be perfect in some cases.

Yet, I doubt that applies here. When you first heard about Weekly Gratitude and thought it would be a good idea and decided you wanted to play along, why did you want to do it? I imagine some of you thought it would make you more aware of how great your life is. Others thought it might be an exercise in mindfulness. Or a good reason to create regular pieces of art. Or make a little minibook.

I just can’t imagine you thought, “Well if I don’t do this perfectly, it will have been a complete waste.”

Seriously?

I think most people strive to be perfect because they think others will judge them if they are not. Let me tell you a secret: no one cares if your art isn’t perfect. No one cares if you didn’t spell a word correctly. No one cares if your lines are a bit crooked. Well…maybe a few people do. But those are not the kind of people you would like. No one actually spends any time looking at someone else’s work in detail and tearing it apart. Only small people do that and you don’t care what small people think. Trust me, you don’t.

So if you end up not doing your project because you’re worried what others will say, do you know who loses in the end?

Yep, you got it.

You.

You lose. Because while they won’t even remember your name a week from now, you’re the one who let that get to you and didn’t practice gratitude. Didn’t do art. Didn’t go for something you wanted just cause someone, somewhere might think you’re not perfect.

Sorry to make you mad but let me tell you: You’re not perfect. You’re not. Neither is your neighbor. Or the person whom you admire online. Or the “famous” person you wish you could be like. Etc etc. No person is perfect. Not to mention perfect is a moving target. The closer you get to it, the more flaws you see, the farther it gets. You never reach it.

Nor should you aim to.

I’m not one to tell you what to do in your life (even though I just did a bit) but I do have a challenge for you. If you’re one of those people who hasn’t started this habit because you haven’t found the perfect way to do it or the perfect album to put it in, I challenge you to throw all that out the window this week. Just pick a way and do it. Jot it on the back of your grocery list. Record it while you’re driving. Whatever, I don’t care. Just take a moment to be grateful. (This goes for those of you who started the project but haven’t done a thing for weeks, too. You haven’t failed. You can pick up and move on. You don’t have to go back and fill in. Just move forward. I promise, there is no WG police to come get you.)

Perfectionism can be a good drive for some people. An excuse to thrive and aim higher. And, in those cases, it’s a valuable tool. But for most people it’s crippling. It’s what stops you from functioning or accomplishing. In the case of this exercise, it’s possibly stopping you from feeling better. From realizing the good in your life.

Isn’t it worth it to let it go for a few weeks and see if you can enjoy being grateful?

Let me reiterate: there is no right way to do this project. Just do it. There is no right time to do this project. Do it now. Try taking a moment everyday for a week and write down one thing you’re grateful for. Don’t pick a format. Just write it down wherever it feels convenient each day. Say at 10am. Wherever you are at 10am, pause for one minute, grab a pen and write it down on the first piece of paper you can find. Just try it.

Maybe one week is not enough to reap the benefits, I don’t know but I hope you’ll try. I hope it will be the push you need to let go of the daunting task of being perfect with this and just doing it for the joy of practicing gratitude.



The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.

Daily Diary – March 15 2010

Beware the ides of March.

I always talk about how David is so nice to Nathaniel and he really is. Nathaniel loves playing with this push-toy and he often pushes until he gets stuck so David was following him around today to help him turn around so he can keep going.

Isn’t he marvelous?

And I love watching Nathaniel play. David has always been a fantastic self-player. And Nathaniel is growing to be one too and it’s so much fun to watch.

I woke up with a sore throat today and didn’t think I was going to end up doing my layout but within 20 minutes or so, I was more awake and did sit down to do my layout. Four so far this week. Not bad. Then I took David to school and did a lot of work while Nathaniel was napping. So all in all the day is a success but I am just so tired from being sick that I can’t dwell in its joy.

Note to Self:
I often wonder if getting sick is your body’s way of telling you to slow down. What would happen if instead of fighting it, I just lay in bed (or on the couch) and really did nothing. Rested, watched TV, read, or whatever low energy thing I can think of. Would it go away faster? And isn’t it better because this way I can get better and go to full productivity faster? I don’t know. I know it’s really hard for me to completely slow down. It’s not in my system but I do wonder if my body is trying to tell me something.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting my layout done even though I really really didn’t think I was going to.
2. I am grateful for a considerably lighter to-do list this week. I feel like it gives me space and time to think of new endeavors and projects.
3. I am really grateful for working from home especially on days like this when I feel so under the weather and can spend the day in my PJs and still get work done.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Snack time at school. (crackers and grapes)
2. Story time with Mommy (we read The Snow Bear)

Crafting with David – The Apple Tree

This week’s craft was simple and inspired by this (click image for source):

We didn’t have two shades of green or any red construction paper so we decided to make yellow apples. We also didn’t have any crepe paper so we improvised.

We sprayed the yellow paper with lots of water. Tore pieces and crumpled them up.

David got to use his safety scissors to cut out the tree trunk.

Then we glued the tree together.

We then glued the crumpled up papers to the tree. This turned out to be the best part of the whole thing. Each time we glued a piece down, we had to count to twenty to get the piece to stick so we started at 1 and counted all the way to 260 or so. David did all the counting and it was awesome. We even got to spend a little time talking about the hundredths place.

Here’s our finished tree. I promise it looks nicer now that the glue has dried up. And we used sparkly modge podge so it’s all shiny too.

Another quick but fun craft!

Daily Diary – March 14 2010

I hadn’t had a tulip for a week. So here we are.

My little boy is still pretty clingy. But he does seem to be happier, thankfully.

Nathaniel got sent a book from Cbr (the bone marrow place) for his first birthday (which is coming up, amazingly) and David was trying to read it to him but he wasn’t paying any attention.

He did finally come by for a few seconds, but didn’t stay for the whole story.

And then he played with his walking toy.

And since some of you asked, I got Jake to grab some photos of me and David. They are not clear but I still like them.

And Nathaniel snuck in one, too.

Great day. I really finished all my tasks this weekend, I am flabbergasted.

Note to Self:
It’s amazing how tasks can have an effect on each other. I had a bunch of things I wanted to do this weekend. none of them were urgent and a few were things I really wanted to do but wasn’t really excited about. I did one of those big ones on Friday night which then gave me the energy to keep going and next thing I knew, I literally did all the items on my list. I know that the one task on Friday really caused all the others. This is the whole point of “eating the frog” but it’s amazing to see it in action. I think there’s something magical about starting your day with something for you (for example art for me) and then doing something that needed to get done that you’ve been putting off. The rest of the day is just icing in the cake. I’m going to try to do that this week and see if I can. Start my day with a layout and then when David’s in school and Nathaniel is napping, do my most important and burdensome task. Let’s see what that does…

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. An upcoming trip to Santa Cruz. I am filled with mixed feelings but also joyful anticipation.
2. Excited that I scrapbooked two days in a row just for myself. Grateful that I can.
3. Grateful for sunshine. It’s nice and sunny in beautiful California right now and I am so happy when it’s warm and sunny.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Craft time with Mommy. (I love hearing that!!)
2. Reading with Mommy and Nathaniel. (love this too!)