Today I got to: exercise in the morning including cardio, core and meditation. Then I got to chat with a good friend which most definitely was the highlight of my day.
I worked for a few hours and then I went climbing with my husband. Came home and had a bunch more meetings for work. Then spent an hour discussing 11th grade course selection options with my son. And now I have to do some more work.
My day was all over the place but it was full. Life and work and family and personal are all mixed up at the moment and yet I am still trying to make sure there’s time and room for each.
As I get older and older, I am learning to let go of the idea that there’s a way “things are done” and embracing the fact that I get to do things my way.
I have to do some uncomfortable things in the next few months and I’ve been stalling and hemming and hawing instead of doing them.
And each time I postpone something that I know has to get done, it looms over me and I start worrying about it constantly. Sometimes the trick is to just do it. Like booking my stupid DMV appointment.
But other times, the trick is to find a way to move through it that feels doable for me. Maybe I am not ready for a conversation and can send an email instead. Maybe I send just one single email. Whatever it might be, doing in on my own terms brings the autonomy and control back to my own hands. I am not a victim of circumstance. I get to choose how this goes. And if I can’t do it the way others would, that’s ok too. I get to do it the way *I* would.
Today was Google I/O which meant I went to work again in person. It has been good and tiring to be at work. A lot of wonderful reminders of what was lovely about being at work and seeing people in person, even if behind a mask.
Also reminders of commuting, a lot of socializing, and just using so much energy. I had forgotten that feeling of walking in after being gone and feeling that overwhelming tiredness.
I am still feeling a lot of feelings about all the changes and find myself internally triggered many many times a day and then stepping back to tell myself it’s going to be okay and to take one step at a time and try to do the next right thing as Glennon often says. Just the fact that I am able to step outside of my experience while I’m having the experience is a huge success for me. So I am taking the wins where I can get them.
I don’t handle change all that well. I tend to thrive on routine and I like consistency.
This year at work has been nothing but change. Just when I get one routine going, another major change descends and I have to reconfigure my thinking and my structure again and again.
Today was the beginning of yet another change. I’m not loving it so far. It’s hectic and the ground under me feels like it’s shifting and I am just so tired of having to adapt.
And yet I am, of course, learning so much, too, and trying to remind myself that choosing yes was about being here now and leaning into what is.
So I am trying to breathe an extra few breaths and reminding myself that it’s all going to work out. Because it always does in the end.
And it’s not the end yet.
Yes to leaning in. Yes to being open. Yes to being uncomfortable.
Weekly Intention: This week is going to be interesting. I will be at work on Monday and Tuesday with a relatively intense schedule and then I haven’t even looked at Wednesday onward but I expect it’s back to back because of my event early in the week. I also will be climbing extra to make up for not being able to go this coming weekend. So my intention this week is to persevere and to start things on a positive foot.
This month’s intention is:May: Yes Just Yes: Time to be bold. Jump in. Dare to go all in and see what happens. What happens if you say yes?!For now I am taking this as showing up to life, to J, to work, to my kids and just in general saying yes to things.
One way I will leap this week: I want to lean in more into DYL and to journaling this week. It’s the only area where I haven’t done as well as I would like to.
One boundary I will set this week: My boundaries are always about work. Not letting it take over my life.
One area where I will go deeper this week: hmm maybe doing the book for week in the life? I think I will do that this week.
What do I need to sit with this week? i still need to sit with all that’s going on at work.
I am looking forward to: being at work. getting to work with the new leads. climbing.
Focus onCore Desired Feelings (lighter, kinder, enough, magic, wild): i am definitely feeling lighter and kinder and enough lately. I think I need more magic and wild in my life.
This week’s challenges: a complicated week this week, let’s see how it works.
Top Goals:
Work: IO, make a list of all the todos, clean email.
Personal: continue journaling plan, week in the life documentation, OLW May.
Family: be with J, book painters, help D with course list, find a project for N.
This week, I want to remember: one step at a time, it doesn’t all have to get done at once.
I know many people loved Henry’s previous novel, which I liked too but I loved this one so much more. I loved all the little bits of vacations over the years, I loved the two characters. I loved going back and forth in time. I just really enjoyed my time with this story. Wonderfully delightful.
I did not love Weir’s second book but with this one, he won my heart back! What a fantastic story, great humor, super fun science. I enjoyed every single minute I spent with this story from beginning to its unpredictable end. Love love loved it!