Say Yes – 4

  • Weekly Intention: Hmm I think the intention of this week is to pay attention to the rhythms of my days and see where/if I can make small shifts. Observe.
  • This month’s intention is: January: Yes to Baby Steps: Start small. Make a plan for the steps you want to take and give yourself a lot of grace. Take a handful of steps. You got this. I did a bunch of planning towards some of my goals for at least February and March, let’s see how things go.
  • One way I will leap this week:  I have this new plan for my personal wellness and schedule, I think I will leap into experimenting with it.
  • One boundary I will set this week: I am going to try to start getting better about bedtime and sleep this week.
  • One area where I will go deeper this week:  The needs of L at work.
  • What do I need to sit with this week?  my schedule, if I want to add all of these items, I need to figure out how.
  • I am looking forward to: tracking things.
  • Focus on Core Desired Feelings (lighter, kinder, enough, magic, wild): i am hopeful that my 100day plan will help with all of these.
  • This week’s challenges: This is my last week at work before things change a bit so I am a bit anxious around that.
  • Top Goals: 
    • Work:  start changing cal, talk to L, next steps for NBU.
    • Personal:  start new plan
    • Family: take walks with J. spend time with kids each day just listening.
  • This week, I want to remember: this is all for me. i get to choose my life.

100 Days of Radical Wellness – Prep

100 Days of Radical Wellness – Planning

When I heard that the 100-day project was going to start in January 31 instead of April, I panicked. I had no idea what I wanted to do and I was already doing the daily yes on @karenika so I didn’t want to do something else at the same time.

But then the idea of radical wellness came to me and it wouldn’t let go. What if I focused on 100 days of radical wellness. What would that look like?

For me, a crucial step in the success of any project I attempt is the time I put into preparation.

So I spent the last few weeks thinking about what radical wellness means to me and what would I like the parts of my journey to look like.

And today, I finally put it all into a spreadsheet. I am not sure if this will work, I might be biting off way more that I can chew but it’s worth a shot.

Let the experimenting begin!

#100dayproject, #the100dayproject, #karenikaradicalwellness

Daily Year of Yes – 24

Year of Yes – 24

After a three-month hiatus, I drew again today and it felt magical. Sometimes starting again is the hardest thing to do. But we start and stop and pause and rewind and fast forward all the time in life. It doesn’t mean anything unless we decide it does.

I’ve been anxious that I have had to take such a long break from riding the bike. I was in the middle of such a good momentum and now it’s been 25 days since I haven’t ridden and sometimes I worry I never will again.

But that’s just my mind playing tricks on me. Just like how when you’re sick sometimes it feels like you’ll never be well again. But then you get better and forget all about that feeling.

Today I got to draw again and soon when my sciatica is more under control I’ll get to ride again.

Yes to beginning again and yes to knowing that no decision is permanent unless we say so. You get unlimited chances at life.

#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes

Weekly Reflection 2021 – 3

  • The Best Part of this Week: The best part of this week was making it through Wednesday, both for the country and for me personally at work. I was quite stressed out so once it came and went the rest of the week felt considerably lighter.
  • I celebrate: not having to watch the news as much anymore
  • I am grateful for:  my manager encouraging me to go outside my comfort zone and saying “yes” on my behalf 🙂
  • This week, I exercised: i did daily peloton classes: 15 minutes of meditation, 20 minutes of core, 55 minutes of full body strength, 10 mins of arms, 10 mins of stretch, and 10 mins of yoga. I also took 3 45min+ walks with Jake. My sciatica regressed seriously this week and I am likely back to 50% so I tried not to push too hard.
  • This week, I said yes to: attending a social (online) event i didn’t want to.
  • I said no to: quitting the medication even though i really wanted to.
  • I honored my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): I am trying to make specific goals in my life to make it easier for me to have these more at the forefront of my life.
  • Top Goals Review: 
    • Work:  did the preso, though it was more of a Q&A. did my new schedule and talked to D.
    • Personal:  still did not start journaling.
    • Family: hmmm, i did some with N but and did spend some time with D, not sure either count
  • My mood this week was: stressed and anxious
  • I am proud of: doing it anyway
  • I release: the nagging thoughts that I am not using my time well and that i am wasting the minutes/hours/days of my life
  • Here’s what I learned this week: that I can trust myself.

Review: The Thursday Murder Club

The Thursday Murder Club
The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book was on so many of the lists I’ve seen in the last few weeks that I felt like I had to read it. It started out really fun but I started to get mixed up pretty quickly and because I was listening on audio and I was only able to listen in bits and pieces throughout the week, I lost track of the story and the characters quicker than I would have liked. I still finished it but I’m afraid I didn’t give it its due. I plan to read the next one on paper or listen to it in one sitting.

View all my reviews

Review: Mother May I

Mother May I
Mother May I by Joshilyn Jackson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I am usually a big fan of Jackson’s novels. I find the pacing, the character development and the plot intriguing and engaging, so I was really looking forward to this one.

And while I did read it all pretty quickly, this wouldn’t be at the top of my Jackson novels. It’s almost as if it’s two books. The first one is the plight of a mother whose baby is kidnapped and she’s doing what she needs to do to get her baby back and then the second book is the backstory of the kidnapper and the event that led her to it.

Either story, fully fleshed out might have been interesting but together it felt disjointed.

There are also several trigger warnings that go with this story, so please do look up those before you read it. I am not usually easily triggered but because the second part of the story felt so disjointed for me, I didn’t see it coming.

Even with all that, I still read this story fast and wanted to keep reading to see what happened and why. As with many Jackson novels, the characters were real and the story moved at a pace that made it hard to put down.

with gratitude to Harper Audio and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review

View all my reviews

Review: Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting

Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting
Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting by Lisa Genova
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

“If we want to remember something, above all else, we need to notice what is going on. Noticing requires two things: perception (seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling) and attention.”

When I first picked up this book, I thought it would be slow-moving as most of the non-fictions are for me, so I geared myself up to “slog” through it.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

From the first page onward, I was completely hooked. I read the whole book in one sitting and underlined passage after passage. I also told my colleagues about this book and quoted passages from it, shared ideas from it and would not stop talking about the endless ways in which the content fascinated me.

“What we remember about the past is also influenced by how we feel in the present. Our opinions and emotional state now color what we remember from what happened last year. And so, in revisiting episodic memories, we often reshape them.”

I’d read Genova’s fiction before so I knew she was a good writer. I also knew she was a neuroscientist and had studied memory. I’ve read about memory and brain in several books and I’ve taken classes so while much of what was in this book wasn’t completely new to me, I loved the simple, relatable and practical way in which Genova laid it out. I loved her practical tips.

If you’re interested in memory and how we remember (and how we forget) I promise you will be glad you read this book.

with gratitude to netgalley and Rodale for the early copy in exchange for an honest review.

View all my reviews

Daily Year of Yes – 23

Year of Yes – 23

When I was in college, Jake and I spent a whole weekend watching Twin Peaks. We spent weekends playing Day of the Tentacle and Full Throttle. We would really get into things and they would momentarily take over our lives.

A few weeks ago, we watched the first episode of the Korean drama show “Start-Up” together and he decided he didn’t want to watch anymore. I took a break too but then last night I decided I wanted to give it another shot.

The show is in Korean so I can’t do my usual multitasking and have to pay attention the whole time. This is pretty much a deal breaker for me. But somehow I got into it so much that with the exception of virtual birthday party for a friend, I’ve watched the show nonstop. I am on episode 15 and each episode is.75-90 mins long. So it’s like I’ve watched 13 movies today.

At first I was annoyed with myself for wasting the day away but right now I am feeling the comfort of really diving deep into something and living in that alternate universe for a while. It feels lovely.

Yes to going all in.

#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes

Daily Year of Yes – 22


Year of Yes – 22

Made it to Friday. I started today with a great conversation with a colleague, and then had a fantastic training on compassion, and the rest of the day wasn’t as exciting but I ended the day with my little one’s sixth grade fall culmination.

Now I’m exhausted and ready to sleep. But I also feel full. No residual stress or anxiety or frustration at the moment and that’s a rare thing for me. I’m grateful. I’m paying attention.

Yes to to a weekend full of rest, art, books, and hugs.

#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes

Daily Year of Yes – 21

Year of Yes – 21

One of the things I am most grateful for in this last year is that both of my kids found and really leaned into a new area of interest. My older one seriously got into computer science, especially low level programming and is slightly obsessed with emacs. While I love and adore and use emacs, I don’t know nearly as much as he does and I’ve never done assembly coding.

My little one is into hardware and is now taking a class that has him doing three small projects. As he was working on this week’s project, I was super excited to see how quicky he could move from the idea to execution phase and he prototyped the idea in less than an hour. Something I know nothing about and could never have done.

It is one of the greatest joys of my life to see my kids exceed my knowledge and expertise. I love watching them thrive. I love learning from them. I love seeing them become their own people.

Yes to being present to it all.

#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes

Daily Year of Yes – 20


Year of Yes – 20

And here we are. There are so many amazing things I can say about today but none, for me, will surpass the joy of seeing a woman be sworn in as a vice president of the United States. A woman of color. What a day this was.

If you didn’t listen to Amanda Gorman ( @amandascgorman )
and her incredible poem today, I can’t encourage you enough to go find it. I had back to back meetings today from 7am to 6pm but I still had CNN in the background the whole time and was able to hear Garth Brooks sing Amazing Grace and I cried.

I am grateful for this day and I am paying attention to the good. I will remember it. May it be the beginning of many more.

Yes to breaking barriers. Yes to hope once again. Yes to a new day!

#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes

Books I Read This Week 2020 – 1 & 2

Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I also have an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art. Since I didn’t post last week, this will be an extra-long post. And going forward I am experimenting with auto-posting my reviews as I post them to goodreads so we will see how that works.


Float Plan (4 stars): If you’re a fan of sweet romance novels with strong female characters, some steam, you will enjoy this story of Anna whose husband to be has committed suicide and she decides to go on their dream sailing journey anyway.

Along the way, she finds help, kindness, love and herself. I really liked that she’s strong and capable and he’s kind and generous. I also really enjoyed some of the transient but sweet secondary characters.

Sometimes a sweet, semi-predictable love story is exactly what’s needed and this one hits the spot beautifully.

with gratitude to netgalley and St. Martin’s Griffin for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.


Enneagram Empowerment (4 stars): Last year I discovered the enneagram which at first sounded very astrology-like and wasn’t appealing to me. But after some work, I have become very interested in it and have been reading most of the books I can get my hands on.

It is often eerily accurate and quite interesting. This book was no exception. It is a great starting point if you don’t know much about it (though I wouldn’t recommend going by the quickie quiz it has in the book. I’d recommend you find several online tests, read heavily and then figure out your type. To be fair, the author recommends reading each type thoroughly, too.)

It has a quick (4-page) overview of each type and then a section for self-empowerment (self-compassion, responding to stress, living strengths, empowered thinking, and more) and then relational empowerment (setting boundaries, centers of wisdom, etc.) Each section is short and quick but there was still quite a bunch of food for thought.

If you’re new to the enneagram, you will enjoy this book. If you’re not new, you’ll still like the empowerment focus.

with gratitude to DK and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review


Just Work (4 stars): I have so many thoughts about Kim Scott’s new book. This is generally a sign that I need to sit with it a while more so I might come back to this review and change/add. But I just finished it so here are some of my raw thoughts.

– There’s a lot of vulnerability and honest sharing of life experiences in this book. Kim shares a lot of what she experienced as an employee and decisions she made as a leader, she recounts many of her regrets at both times
– There is a structure to the book that makes it easy to parse and contextualize the definitions, roles, and actions
– She gives a lot of examples of both what not to do and what to do

And while she shares a lot of examples of where she made the wrong choice and how she regrets it, she doesn’t give a lot of examples of where she made the “right” choice when her own life/career/etc was on the line. She gives a lot of examples of when she was in a consulting or power position and acted as an upstander (her nomenclature) on behalf of highlighting, correcting, and speaking up about a situation someone else was in. But not a lot of examples of her own career as an employee where she did take a risk to stand up or as a leader, where she corrected something in real time. She definitely owns up to her incorrect behavior (which is definitely commendable) but somehow it started to bother me that they were all examples of where someone else rescued her out of a situation, or she waited it out, or some other thing she says not to do – and she also readily acknowledges the person harmed (I really appreciate her not using the word “victim”) should completely get to do what they believe is right for them which I totally understand. But I kept thinking that if her advice in this book is so sound, why is she herself not taking it? I couldn’t tell if this was a biased view and I am sure there’s a flaw in the thinking but because it kept creeping up, I wanted to acknowledge it.

Putting this aside, there are a lot of tangible pieces of advice here both for leaders and observers that I found very helpful. These are not platitudes. They are real, tangible ways we can hold ourselves and our leaders accountable, and start the journey towards change.

This book is hard to read and can be demoralizing, especially if you belong to an underrepresented group. Several of her gender-specific examples really were tough for me to read, especially where it paralleled my own experiences. But it also ends on a hopeful note, pointing out that just workplaces are possible and worth working towards.

No book on this subject will be perfect. No author will get it all right. I appreciated Scott’s honestly, openness, vulnerability, and no-nonsense advice in this book. I will have to sit with it a while longer to see what else stays with me.

with gratitude to St. Martin’s Press and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.


How to Fail at Flirting (3 stars): Enjoyed my time with this light read. Both of the main characters are great and so are the secondary ones. Serious issues like abuse and racism are covered here but the spotlight shines on the romance and it’s lovely.


The Brilliant Life of Eudora Honeysett (4 stars): what an absolute joy of a story. i fell in love with this book from the first few minutes. I loved all of the characters. I loved both the past and the present stories and i loved the quiet way in which it was told. Really sweet.


Take it Back (3.5 stars): An interesting mystery story. Stands out from the pack because it handles issues around religion and groupthink and masculinity. But it also has some tropes that didn’t thrill me. I could see several of the twists coming and felt frustrated maybe because my expectations were so high going in.


Three O’Clock in the Morning (5 stars): “There are occasions when you need to talk, and you mustn’t take anything for granted. Then there are other occasions when you have to keep silent because there’s something intangible, something precious in the air, and your words might dispel it in an instant. These are two simple concepts. The hard part is to know when to apply one rule and when the other.”

Loved this beautiful story of a father and son who spend two days awake in Marseilles because of a medical procedure and walk and talk and bond during that time. They talk, really talk, for the first time. The book is told from the son’s perspective (he’s a senior in high school) and the reader gets to experience both their dialogue and the son’s inner thoughts.

“In other words, I again blended in with my contemporaries, while at the same time wanting to be very different from them. All teenagers suffer from the same schizophrenia. They do all they can to be the same and dream of being different.”

They go through many different topics : family, life, career, choices, sex, and more. I often think about how we as children do not get to experience our parents as adults or even full humans really. They are always playing the role of “parent” in our life so it’s hard to see them as humans with their own lives and regrets and choices and thoughts alongside that. In this story, the son is experiencing his dad as a human for that brief period.

“I don’t know. Maybe leaving something you care about in a place you don’t really want to leave is a way of staying connected to that place—of hoping to get back there. I don’t know.”

I loved so much of the dialogue, the son’s thoughts, the quiet and deep and wise nature of this book. It was like a perfect movie. I was in Marseilles just a few years ago so I was also able to visualize some of the scenery and imagine them walking down the streets.

“Perfect comes from the Latin perficere, to do something completely. Imperfection, in the etymological sense, is that which isn’t complete. Incompleteness distinguishes jazz from any other kind of music. In classical music, for example, the score contains all the notes to be played. The performer reads it and plays the written notes, nothing less but also nothing more. His performance is all about the many different ways he can interpret those notes, but the notes are always the same. In jazz, the score is just the starting point.”

The blurb of this book likened it to the movie “Before Sunrise” and I think it was a perfectly apt comparison. I loved every moment I spent with this book.

With gratitude to netgalley and HarperVia for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review


Caste (4 stars): I have so many thoughts about this book but I feel like I still have to sit with it some. I absolutely agree with the author’s premise and it was eye opening to read so much of this book. While I usually love the storytelling and example-focused non-fiction narrative, in this case, I found myself wanting to learn a little more about the structures and academic understanding of caste systems. Which is why I feel like I need to go learn more, think more, and then revisit this book. If you’re like me and have been intimidated by the size of this book, I highly recommend you pick it up, it is very well written and the fact that it’s not super academic and has a lot of examples and stories makes it easy to digest and (for me) considerably less intimidating to read. I have already had several discussions in my household as a result of this book and expect many more to come.


The Color Purple (5 stars): What an exquisite novel. I know that many people read this book when they are much younger but I had never read it before and in some ways, I am so glad to have read it when I am a mother, and older, and can understand and appreciate some of the nuance in this story as well.

I was worried that this book was going to be very sad, so I kept putting off reading it for book club, but finally 4 days before the meeting, I decided it was now or never. I am eternally grateful that I read it. The story is definitely very sad, but maybe because I knew how horrific it was going to be, I was able to move past the devastating parts enough to deeply appreciate and enjoy Alice Walker’s story. There’s hope woven through this story and especially by the end, I felt the power of women supporting, uplifting and being there for each other.

If you’re like me and haven’t read this one, I cannot recommend it enough. The audiobook is fantastic and also highly recommended.


The Lost Apothecary (4 stars): This is the story of two women: Caroline, who is in London where she was scheduled to celebrate her tenth wedding anniversary before she found out her husband was cheating on her. So now she’s made it to London alone and stumbles on an apothecary vial near the river which then sets her off on a journey to figure out where it came from. And Nella, an apothecary in late 1700s who has moved away from her mother’s traditional apothecary shop to a much more nefarious one where she sells poisons for women to kill to be free of the men in their lives. The book goes back and forth between the two women as you see Nella’s story unfold and Caroline’s story colliding with it.

While I enjoyed both women’s perspectives, I liked my time with Nella more and found myself looking forward to those chapters. This is not your modern mystery where everyone is over the top and there are giant twists and all the characters are unreliable. This is old-school mystery that develops its characters, brings the setting into the reader’s mind and imagination, slowly unwinds, builds up to some twists to show you life is not as expected and finishes with a very satisfying coming together of the story. Much more my kind of mystery.

with gratitude to harper audio and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.


Why We Sleep (4 stars): I put off reading this book forever. Started and stopped it many many times. I found it to be both incredibly useful and detailed and scientific and also really hard to read. There’s just so much there and much of it is quite academic. At some point, I was like “I totally believe you, no need to give me details, just tell me what to do and what not to do” Maybe because I am so tired and need more sleep 🙂

Joking aside, sleep is serious business and if you didn’t think so before, you absolutely will after reading this book. It will absolutely change your understanding of the necessity of sleep and will definitely make you reconsider your life and choices around sleep.


Good Company (4 stars): This is the story of Flora. Flora and Julian have been together for 20+ years and have a beautiful daughter they love and a life they’ve worked hard to build together. Flora and Margot have been best friends and Margot is a famous actress now. While she’s digging through drawers in her house to find a photo to give as a gift for her daughter’s graduation, Flora stumbles upon her husband’s wedding ring that he had lost 15 years ago.

This small act slowly start unwinding her life and having her rethink many of her choices and at a loss for what she should do as a result of this discovery.

I found it interesting that many who read the author’s previous novel found this one to be not as good. I felt the opposite. This book is decidedly quiet. Not a lot happens and if you need big things, over the top personalities, crazy twists, loud shouting matches, this is not the book for you. This book, in my opinion, is so much better than that. The characters are well built and each and every one of them is 3dimensional. You can find something to like and something to dislike about each of them. You feel for them and root for them and also shake your head when they disappoint you, which almost all of them do at some point.

This book felt real to me. I could imagine these people in the world, living their blissful-looking life with all the layers of struggle, pain, joy, and hard work under the surface layer. I loved the nuanced struggles of what you tell people and what you keep to yourself. When is it your duty to divulge something that you know about someone else that could completely change their life. How much of what we do is for our own benefit vs others’ good. How to navigate a loss that’s actually 15 years old but you just find out. How to feel when everything you thought you knew is not what you thought it was but it also kind of is. What makes a marriage, a family, a friendship. There’s so much good in this book. So much subtle depth.

I loved the time I spent with this book and if quieter books are your cup of tea, I highly recommend it.

with gratitude to netgalley, Harper Audio, edelweiss and Ecco publishing for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.


And there we go, grateful to be reading.


Books I Read this Week 2021 is a year-long project for 2021. You can read more about my projects for 2021 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I also have an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art (paused at the moment but restarting soon hopefully.)