 This card says: Shining means approaching the world in a collective way. In a way that assumes we are all in this together. That it’s not me vs. the world. It’s all of us together. We are one. Their suffering is my suffering, their joy is my joy. This allows me to be open + giving and to remember there are plenty of cakes to go around.
Oh this is one that I really remind myself again and again. We are all one. If they suffer, I suffer. If they rejoice, I rejoice. I have such a tendency to close off. To go into myself and assume that I am alone and get in my head.
What I’ve learned is that the way out of there is to help others. To show up and do what needs to be done. I have volunteered many times in my life and I always love it regardless of the task on hand. I love getting out of my head and doing something, however small.
Just like other people’s suffering is ours and we need to help fix things together, other people’s joy is also my own and i want to celebrate together. When good things happen to my friends, even if that exact good thing didn’t happen to me, I still want to celebrate. If it happens to her/him, it means it could happen to me, too. We are not each eating slices from the same cake so his/her slice will not prevent me from having a slice of my own. We each get our own whole cake. There are plenty of cakes to go around.
When I remember to look at fellow people as a people and remember that we are all in this together, then I shine.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
Weekly Intention: Oh man, interesting week this week. I have two relaxing work day where I might be able to actually get work done, two days of summits where I am going to miss a lot of meetings but hopefully connect with my teammates more. My good friend Evelyn’s book is launching. And then David leaves for a week to D.C and Nathaniel and Jake go camping for the weekend. And then I will be taking off super-early Monday to go to Seattle. So quite a lot going on. Physically long days Monday and Wednesday. Emotionally long weekend. My intention this week is to spend a bit of extra time with David since he will be gone all week next week. A bit more time with Jake since he was gone last week. And then make a decision about the weekend and whether I want to go camping with them or not. Monday is full but not super full so my hope is that I can spend a lot of tomorrow working really hard both on my todos and on writing docs for work. If I can get that done, I will be on a positive cycle.
Things I want to get Done: Here’s the list for his week.
- Work: more documentation: metrics, roadmaps, modeling
- Work: get closer to three team members i don’t know well.
- Vacation: plan out next weekend a bit.
- Summer: book rowing for david.
- Summer: find a camp for Nathaniel.
- Personal: Exercise twice this week.
- Personal: 15 minutes of art 4 times.
- Personal: Do OLW May.
- Personal: A vegetable with every meal.
- Family: Family photos on Friday.
- Family: Make a decision on hiking this weekend.
- Family: Make eye doctor appointments.
This month’s intention is: May: Help others Shine: Ok now it’s others’ turn. It’s time to be the mirror to their light so it can reflect off of you. Think of ways big and small that you can help people in your life see their own light this month. Smile. Show them how amazing they are. Thank them. I am ashamed i have to write this again but I *still* forgot to write notes!!?! Can I do it this week, you think?
Ways to Shine this week:
- One: Bold: I would like to befriend some people at work.
- Two: Open: Open to both going or staying this weekend.
- Three: Heal/Nourish: Exercise, art, journaling this week.
I am looking forward to: our two-day summit.
This week’s challenges: long workdays are no fun. But the hardest challenge will be letting David go of course.
Top Goals:
- Work: more documentation. connecting.
- Personal: a tiny bit of journaling this week?!
- Family: some just 4 of us time. some david and me time.
I will focus on my core desires (bold, mindful, nourish, love) by: remembering that life is amazing just as is. i can relax.
This week, I will say yes to: slowing down. being present.
This week, I will say no to: worrying too much.
I am worried that: something will happen to david. or nathaniel+jake. I want everyone to have fun where they’re going and to really enjoy the experiences they will be having. I want all of it to go well. I am worried i will eat poorly, not exercise, not journal, not do art. something has to change for everything to change.
This week, I want to remember: to kiss and hug and love my people!
 This card says: Shining means focusing outwardly. Showing people what full attention looks like and reflecting their thoughts + feelings without judgement. Being fully present in their light and letting them see it. Shining it back on them and celebrating them.
I believe everyone is amazing. We are all yearning to connect and be with other people. We are all suffering and trying to share in our common humanity. We are all walking each other home as the saying goes.
I believe that we make each other’s lives better when we show up and choose to be there for each other. When we reflect each other’s light back to each other. When I listen, truly listen and give the gift of my time and attention to someone else, then I am shining.
Then I am showing them how wonderful they are. I truly feel that I have something to learn from every person in my life and if I really listen to them, if I am really open to the gifts they are there to give me, I can receive them. I am grateful each time I choose to deeply connect. And I am even more grateful when I can see the good in each person. I am even more grateful when I can do something to show them their amazingness.
Shining means creating the space to make this possible. Seeing and reflecting and showing and telling people about their light.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
How I shone this week: This week Jake was out of the country so I was alone with the kids. Most of the week, this ended up meaning that I worked in the evenings and tried to get ahead of my plans a bit. I got some work done but of course not as much as I’d hoped. I went to work a bunch, I went to Nathaniel’s school, I had coaching clients, I went to a party for Nathaniel and his classmates and then had a 1-1 with a friend and then went to a social event with parents from David’s school. I did math with both of the kids. I showed up. I tried. I also yelled and wanted to give up and felt hopeless at different times this week. But I got up and kept going and sometimes that’s the best shining I can do.
Things I wanted to get Done:
- Work: I did a lot of documentation but have a bunch more, of course. I did some meetings and scheduled some more. I also booked Seattle, woo hoo!
- Vacation: I made no plans for memorial day. But there’s an event at David’s school and a playdate for Nathaniel, do those count?
- Summer: So I didn’t book a camp for David but we came to an understanding so we will implement that, so now I only have to book one for him and I still need a plan for Nathaniel for a week.
- Personal: Exercise sucked, I suck. I did do art though. But I also didn’t do OLW, though I might tonight.
- Family: I picked up N’s book and we did go hiking. I called the eye doctor but it was closed so I’ll try tomorrow and we took some photos but just on my phone.
Looks like 50-50 this week.
I celebrate: Jake coming back tomorrow!
I am grateful for: all of the bits of my life. my mom. my dad. i am so lucky.
I nourished myself by: going hiking this week.
Reflecting on my worries: i didn’t write enough down but I am going to keep at it. I can make this happen. i am still pretty exhausted but honestly i need to drink water and eat well and sleep a bit more and then we can see. i still haven’t exercised. there might not be solutions but i won’t know until i try. camps will be ok. i did some art! I did some. not all but baby steps.
I let go of: giving myself a hard time. I forgive and i move on.
Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love):
- bold: i signed up for more bold and scary things at work.
- mindful: i’ve been mindful of the fact that I work a lot more lately. I will give myself grace when I need it.
- nourish: so so this week.
- love: i did so well. and then i failed so spectacularly. but i am trying again.
What made me laugh this week: my friend Kelly and I laughed a lot. I am so grateful for a new friend.
What I tolerated this week: a lot of social events that were hard for me. but i showed up!
My mood this week was: one day at a time.
I forgive myself for: not getting the exercise in gear.
What I love right now: the long, sunny days.
Here’s to a wonderful week twenty!
 This card says: Shining means making choices that bring out the best of you. Making choices that allow you to show, be, feel the best version of yourself. So you can show up and be kind. Be present. Be generous. Be open. Taking the time to be.
This one is a bit of a loaded one for me. There are so many ways in which I need to work on being the best version of myself all the time and if I don’t give myself the rest and care I need, it am definitely not my shining self.
This is what the whole nourishing intent is aiming for. Exercising, eating well, sleeping a lot, nourishing my skin, journaling, reading, learning, taking alone time, giving are all parts of the formula that allow me to be my best self. I need to do all of these regularly. I need to make sure there’s space for every one of them.
When I am well-nourished, I can be the best version of myself. I can show up ready to listen. ready to give. Ready to receive.
Ready to be present.
It’s been quite a challenge lately. I’ve been tired and overwhelmed and when I am in this space, it’s much more difficult to show up and be patient.
When I am shining, though, I am there. Both physically and mentally. I am present. 100%.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
      I started this week with For the Love. I had seen Jet Hatmaker’s book at Bravegirls Camp and then saw Glennon mentioning her and then the book appeared at my library in the same week so I figured that was the universe telling me it was time to read it. I am glad I did.
I then moved on to Anything is Possible which I had been looking forward to reading and I absolutely loved it. There are a lot of tough issues in these stories but Elizabeth Strout can write with elegance and so much tenderness. I absolutely love her work.
I then went back and forth with a lot of books and settled in on Chasing Slow which I’d also been looking forward to reading. In the end, it was an okay read. I loved pieces of it and was ok about other pieces of it. I am glad I read it.
I then moved to The Hate U Give which was powerful, thought-provoking and I am glad books like this are getting published. I knew very little about the book before I started it and read it pretty much in one sitting.
I then moved on to The Upside of Unrequited right after. it was lighter and still poignant for me. I needed the lightness and ended up staying up past 2am to read this. It wasn’t as magical as her previous book but honestly i loved it to bits.
And finally, I ended the week with The One Memory of Flora Banks. This makes three YA novels in a row. It was just one of those weeks. I read this one really fast and kept having a sense of doom like it was going to end terribly and there were some really sad parts but it redeemed itself.
I’m also still reading bits of Storm in a Cup, The Book of Joy, Modern Mindfulness, and The Craving Mind. Nonfiction sometimes requires more patience than i have. Chasing Slow ended up being the 100th book I read this year.
Books I Read this Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: Shining means letting go of who you think you “should” be and letting yourself be who you really are. Showing up as the real, authentic you and choosing to show up that way again and again. Always.
Oh man.
I know this one sounds like the same one as Tuesdays, but it’s even more. When I shine, I let others see my authentic, true soul.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that I am being vulnerable, though it can. It just means I am being myself. 100% myself. Whatever that means in each situation.
It doesn’t mean I am being rude, or loud, or putting others down. It means I am being myself and not apologizing for who that is. It means I am wearing what feels right, eating what feels right, and doing what feels right to me. Honoring my true self, my values, my perspective. With kindness, of course.
I often feel conflicted about my sense of belonging which makes it hard for me to be ok showing up as who I am in many situations because what if who I am is not enough? Sometimes I choose not to show up. Sometimes I choose to show up really guarded. Sometimes I choose to show up and do what needs to be done. And sometimes I choose to just show up, and be me.
In those rare times, I am shining. I am not apologetic or rude or loud or quiet. I am just me. I don’t overthink or question everything I do or say. I just show up as me and hope that’s good enough. Those are the moments I want to have more of and the moments I feel I am actually my very best self.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
Mind:
- I read: I read a good mix of books this week but no internet or facebook or anything else really. not even really my work email.
- I learned: I haven’t made a lot of progress on my class on Happiness but I did read more nonfiction and i spent some serious time doing angles with david.
- I watched: I watched no TV this week at all. Didn’t even turn it on. Nor did I watch netflix. it’s been quite a few weeks since I watched any TV. I can hardly believe it.
Body:
- Exercise: none this week except the hiking on Saturday.
- Food: I had protein almost every morning. I ate a lot of salad. I ate some veggies. Things are getting better though I am still drinking too much coffee, not enough water, too much chocolate.
- All the others: still doing ok on all other things. love my new shiny makeup.
Soul:
- I rested: Had a few rough nights of sleep but feeling okay. Knees still in pain but better, too.
- I connected:Lots of connecting at work and also volunteered at David’s school with lots of new parents.
- I journaled: no journaling outside of here, still. but the shine cards count, no?
- I made art: no new art. here’s to hoping.
I still feel positive trajectory here, however small.
Nourish Me Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: Shining means seeing the good in every situation. Understanding that nothing is clear or 100% white or black. Being able to look at it from multiple perspectives and allowing the space for there to be some good to come out of each situation.
This is the trick to life isn’t it?
Being able to see things from multiple perspectives and understand that there is no such thing as “the truth” is one of the biggest lessons I have learned as I grow up and it’s something I have to remember again and again and again.
I’ve also learned that there’s no such thing as a guaranteed good outcome. Sometimes what you think is good turns out to have challenging side effects and a “bad” outcome turns out to be a blessing in disguise. So here, too, there’s no black or white. It’s all the shades of gray all the time.
I am trying to learn how to be more open minded all the time. Sometimes even realizing that I am being close minded is a challenge and other times it’s easy for me to be open and able to see that I am holding on to a perspective.
To me, shining means realizing that everything, all the time, is going through my interpretation of what things mean. There are very few “truth”s in the world and almost everything is what I make it out to be. So when I am shining I can see the good in everything. I can see that there are many ways to look at a situation and I can find the perspective that is the most empowering and choose to believe that one.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
This was the third year David did the San Jose Tech Museum’s Tech Challenge. This year’s challenge was to cross two ravines. Which translated to crossing two tables without leaving any pieces behind. The second table was higher as well. The kids worked really really hard on this extremely tough challenge.
As always they went to have an interview with the judge before the challenge itself where they were asked a lot of questions. We got to watch this from above. And then they did the challenge itself. Their amazing gondola made it through the first table but then fell on the way to the third. And then they ran out of time, so they didn’t get to fully complete it.
They were all dejected as they walked away to get their medals and their photo taken.
But we were all so proud of their incredibly unique design and creative thinking. and incredible work.
As it worked out, they ended up winning an award anyway. They won Outstanding Engineering Journal which was almost funny because it was such an uphill battle getting that journal together this year.
In the end, it was all worth it and another year of wonderful memories, hard work, and very proud parents!
Stories from 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: Shining means telling the truth. always. Kindly but still only the truth. Always the truth. Not being afraid of being honest. Not lying awkwardly. Telling the truth with as much kindness as possible. Shining means being high integrity.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I’ve recently had a situation where I ended up being dishonest and awkward about a situation just because I was worried about putting the other person in a difficult spot. This instance made me feel bad for weeks and I am still thinking about it today because it just doesn’t sit well with me that I had to bend the truth so much. After spending some time thinking about it, I decided that I would never again do this. I would tell the truth in the kindest, most straightforward way and if that made the other person a bit uncomfortable, I’d have to live with that.
I don’t want to put anyone in a situation they don’t want to be in, but I realized that the path I took in order to avoid awkwardness on the other person’s side still ended up making everything awkward anyway. If I had just been straight with her, it would have been no more awkward and I wouldn’t have felt like I was lying the whole time. All I get to say is the truth, in the kindest way possible and how others choose to interpret that is not on me.
Soon after I made this decision, I was tested with another situation where I wanted to turn down an offer but I was worried the other person would be offended and this was someone I love so I didn’t want to hurt them. But I bit the bullet and I was honest. I turned it down really gently, thanked the person and offered an alternative. And it worked out.
I believe that when I am being my honest, kind self, I am making room for others to be their honest, kind selves too. We all get to shine.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
 This card says: Shining means loving unbounded. Loving everyone. Loving all the time. With flaws and all. We are all flawed. We all could use kindness and help but most of all we all deserve love. Shining means having that love be visible to all.
Oh man, this is the easiest one. What could shining mean but love. Just unbounded love.
Pouring out of everywhere. I want love to come out of my pores. When I shine, that’s what happens. I love everyone, I love everything. I love my life. I love life itself.
We might not like everyone, We might not like everything someone does but we can love them. We can love all people.
Does this seem a bit woo-woo? Maybe it is. but it’s how I want to feel. When I shine, it’s how I feel. I want my friends and family to be able to see the love in my face. To see it come out of my eyes and my words and pour all over them.
I can’t do this very often but when I can, I am in such peace. And when people do it to me, I feel so incredibly lucky.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
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projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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