text reads: she healed.
Journey into Collage is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.
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Today’s about Hanukkah and what the holidays are to me.
and here it is with before and after, I flipped the cards over and used the other side:
that’s it. more tomorrow.
Even though I’ve written about this before, One of the things I’ve been trying to remind myself lately is that life is not all or nothing. When I have a goal, I don’t have to look at it as met or unmet. For example, I’ve been making an effort to eat healthier. I work at home and I don’t cook. What I eat has never been a big priority for me. Some days, it will be 2pm before I’ve had any real food (besides tea) and as soon as I realize I haven’t eaten, I will be famished and make some unwise choices. More significantly, I realized that I tend to have the “all or nothing” mentality. If I don’t have a salad to eat, I’ll just eat something unhealthy. I think “if I can’t do it perfectly right, I might as well just do it wrong.” Like if I don’t have “good” vegetables, eating corn is just as bad as eating chocolate. Which is clearly not the case. If I weren’t on a streak, I could totally see myself doing the same thing for exercise. Like if I can’t run for 3 miles, I might as well not bother at all. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. A 1-mile run is still considerably better than no run. And when you add them up, a week of daily 1-mile runs have a strong cumulative effect, especially compared to a week of no runs at all. In one scenario, I ran 7 miles in that week and in the other, I ran zero. How are seven and zero interchangeable? But this is how we tend to think: If I can’t do it right, I might as well not do it at all. Or, “I already messed up, what’s the point?” Eating one chocolate is not the same as eating the whole box. Life doesn’t operate on the black and while extremes. Nor do your goals. When you’re mean to someone, it’s not too late. You have a million opportunities to apologize. When you break one goal, you can restart the next day. This is one of the reasons it’s helpful to let go of the day at the end of each day. If you learn to forgive yourself and let go of your guilt, you get to have another chance tomorrow morning. All you need is some self-compassion. So, my plan for this holiday season is to remember the value of self-compassion and baby steps. If I learn to forgive myself, I know I am more likely to succeed the next day. And if I can remember that every step counts and there are a lot of smaller things I can to reach my goal (or even to not walk further away from my goal) I know that I am more likely to move forward. As we go into the craziness and calm and inertia of the holiday season, I feel the need to remind myself that every day I do something towards my goals, however small, is another day I am that much closer to them. It’s not black or white. It’s not all or nothing. It’s all about the millions of tiny, small steps. It’s all about the gray. It all counts. Today’s about just ordinary life. A check-in of where I am at this point.
and here it is with before and after:
that’s it. more tomorrow.
As promised on Monday, here are my three lists for 2013 so far. They are not in any order and they are still work in progress. I will likely update them in the next two weeks as I brainstorm more and figure out some patterns. What do I want to learn?
What do I want to do more of?
What fulfills me (or honors a value I have)?
How about you? What’s on your list? Today’s about the Google holiday party Jake and I went to at the deYoung museum. The first photo is one the babysitter took before we left. You can see I am wearing the same dress from our anniversary. Jake likes it so I wore it again.
and in the second page, I put the two photos that were taken there and some journaling:
and here it is with before and after spreads:
that’s it. more tomorrow.
Last time I’d read The Alchemist was in 1994. I remember being blown away. It was my first Paulo Coelho book and I’ve since read many more. And I love them all. So when my book club picked it, I was looking forward to reading it once more. And it was an odd experience. There were parts I loved and overall, I still liked the book. But it was not nearly as awe-inducing as it had been the first time. Part of me thinks that it’s important to read this book in your late teens, early twenties. At a turning point in your life. At a time when anything seems possible. Alas, I guess it’s also important to read it if you think anything is not possible. Either way, if you have never read this book, it’s a must read. must.
As I was talking to my coach last week, I was telling her about a recurring behavior I’ve noticed in myself that drove me crazy. I complained about how disappointed I was in myself for being unable to stop it. After we talked for a while, just as I was about to get off the phone, she mentioned this idea of Choice Points and how sometimes we can take a moment and choose to do something differently. She didn’t talk about it at length, but I got it. At least I now have my own interpretation of it. It’s about how life is a collection choices we make. Each time something happens, consciously or subconsciously, we make a choice about what to do next. And whether we realize it or not, we have the option to make a different choice. Which will likely result in a different outcome. The trick is realizing at that split second, you do actually have choice and you don’t have to react immediately and you don’t have to react in the same way you always have. This is something Tara Brach talks about during her podcasts, too. The moment of choice. The split second that otherwise goes unnoticed. The sliver of time between action and reaction. Sometimes it’s not even a tiny amount of time but it’s stopping your thoughts long enough to realize there’s a moment of choice here. I had one of those last week. I have been worried about getting Nathaniel’s baby furniture out of his room for five months. He was still sleeping in his crib and I wasn’t sure if he would be ok moving to the big boy bed. The pieces in his room were huge and hard for me and Jake to move. We couldn’t donate them for several logistical reasons and I just kept worrying about finding the right solution. I worried about how we would get the furniture out of there, how we would move the queen sized bed to David’s room, etc. etc. Last week, I was lying in bed, worrying about all this once again when the answer dawned on me. I realized I had a completely different option available to me. I could call a company to move all the furniture out, donate it on my behalf, and move the beds around for me. It would cost a little money but it would be done perfectly and super-fast. The next morning, I called them up, set up the appointment and two days later, all of my problems were solved in 34 minutes. They came, they fixed, and they left. All because I was able to change the way I looked at the problem. All because I slowed down and realized I had options. I could make different choices. This made me think about one of my favorite scenes in Dead Poet’s Society where the teacher makes the kids stand at the table and look at the room from that perspective and shows them how important it is to be able to have different points of view. To me, the ability to change my point of view came from the moment of choice. Realizing that I had the option to make a different choice. Now that I saw one, I see them all over the place. I am paying attention and it’s showing up everywhere. That, to me, is the key to life. Paying attention so I can see the moments of choice. Today’s about Nathaniel finally getting his big boy bed!
and here it is with before and after:
that’s it. more tomorrow. Here are the sketches from last week. Not my favorite batch but at least I’m still making them.
that’s it for this week. Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my sketching journey here.
This time of year tends to be full of reflection and planning for me. I try to think about what I learned and how I want to plan my year to live more fully. I’ve learned a few years ago that having year-long projects focused around my personal goals works for me. It gives me a framework to work with and I still feel creative freedom. So one of the things I pay attention to as I plan my year long projects is my list of “things I want to learn” or “things I want to get better at.” In 2011, I knew I wanted to get better at drawing so I committed to sketching daily. And to make sure I followed through, I also committed to weekly blog posts where I shared my sketches. I created a similar structure for art journaling. And in the two years I’ve been working on these skills, I’ve progressed immensely and found my own little voice in both of these. I went from never knowing how to art journal to being published in the best art journaling magazine. All because I set the structure for myself. The other list I look at when I am trying to decide my yearly projects is the list of “things I want to do more of.” For example, in 2010, I wanted to spend more time with my son and I created “crafting with David” where we created an art project each week. In 2011, I read a book a week to David. In 2012, I created a “Book of Good Memories” with him. This year, I also did Letters with Nathaniel. All of these are creative ways to spend more time with my son while doing something I would love to share with him. I know I want to spend more time with my kids so I create these projects as an excuse to take the time. (This is not to say I don’t spend ‘free’ time with them, it’s just an extra special thing we get to do.) In 2010, I started exercising for the first time, so in 2011, I created a project “Healthy for Life” so I could track the progress of getting and staying in shape. Making healthier choices. I wanted to do more of it so I created a year-long project for myself. Same with books. I’ve had “A Book A Week” for three years now and I’ve read over 150 books thanks to my project. In 2010, I realized I wanted more photos with my kids where I was actually in the photo. Out of that wish came the “Us Right Now” project (which then morphed into Weekly Diary.) I now have over 100 photos of me with my kids and husband. So most of my projects are born out of the “what do i want to learn” and “what do i want to do more of” lists. But, there’s one more important list that I am trying to make sure to honor next year: “what matters most to me” and “what fulfills me the most.” Two years ago, I did the Weekly Gratitude project and it was really profound for me. I learned the value of gratitude. So much so that it’s become one of my core values. This year, I did the Savor Project and it allowed me to enjoy and savor my life as it happened. When I think of my projects for 2013, I’ve been thinking about what fulfills me and gives me the most joy. If I can create a project around something that fulfills me, I get to experience the joy of that on a regular basis. If I can create a project using my values, then I get to honor them regularly. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all the coaching classes I’ve taken and the client calls I’ve had, it’s that the trick to life is to align your life with your values and spend time doing what fulfills you. That’s it. That’s all it takes. So, as I spend time contemplating the upcoming year, I am making my three lists and taking a good look at what comes up, so that I can create frameworks around them and make 2013 a wonderful year. Here are the three lists: What about your list? What goes on your three lists? If you’re willing to play along, I’ll share my lists on Wednesday and maybe you can post yours too? I was in an all-day class for three days so I decided to catch up today. Friday was all about the anticipation for my fourth coaching class:
and here it is with before and after:
and then Saturday was about the class itself and a photo of all of us:
and here it is with before and after:
Sunday, I needed to take it easy so I wrote just about our tree and the holiday mood in our house and just made a simple page.
and here it is with before and after:
that’s it. more tomorrow. |
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