Daily Diary – May 13 2010

Long and tiring day. The day of the release is always too stressful for me. But so far so good. I just need to get some more sleep. I noticed that I am so tired, I can barely drive. I am grouchy. I am whiny. I have no motivation. All cause I am sleepy. Need more sleep. That’s #1 goal for this weekend. Sleep. Kids. Play. Scrap. Read.

Nathaniel and David played so much today and I tried to snap away. Mosto of these aren’t perfect but then again neither is our lives. Here he is about to poke David’s eye out and actually does a few seconds later and David is so patient, so loving, so happy.

He lies on the floor waiting for Nathaniel.

Who smiles at him and walks.

And walks.

And then sits to ponder for a bit.

And then comes over for a hug. Each time I look at this photo, my heart swells. I love them so.

And here’s one of the little boy. See all those teeth?

Lovely day of playing. Jake came home early so I could go to work and pickup my stuff that’s been sitting there since Feb 09 when I left for maternity. One task done. I am very close to going to sleep. Still gotta post the book post, coming in a few minutes.

Note to Self:
Not only have I been really behind and unmotivated lately but I’ve been really disorganized. I normally make long and involved todo lists to keep track of my life. I notice that I haven’t made one in a long long time. The act of making one seems to fill me with dread lately. And I am so tired, I can’t muster the energy to make it even. And yet there are periods in the day where I really really want to get organized. So I think I should do that. Make the list even if I check nothing off. I think having it all on paper will get it off my mind and I really need that. Lists are my lifeline so I feel like I haven’t had a lifeline for the last few weeks.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. So so so thankful that my kids play together and love each other.
2. Thankful that I finally got my stuff from work, it was one of those put-off-forever tasks.
3. Thankful that most of the release is out and that it’s almost weekend.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. playing with Nathaniel and giggling and laughing
2. Watching lego movies with daddy

May 13, 2010 | Daily Diary - 2010, DPGallery | Leave a comment

Digital Downloads – Mom Overlays

This week’s download is some mom overlays. Here is what they look like:

You can download it here: Mom overlays download.

And for countries where you use “Mum” here’s the mum equivalents. Mum overlays download.

You are welcome to play with these as much as you want and use them anywhere you’d like. You are NOT allowed to sell them ever. You don’t have to but I’d appreciate a link back if you do use them.

This is part of a weekly digital download series. They are posted every Thursday. You can find all of the ones that were posted here. If you like my downloads, please click here and give me ideas/requests for 2010. I would like to continue this feature but I am not sure I can come up with enough ideas on my own.

May 13, 2010 | Digital Downloads | 11 comments

Layout a Day in May – What’s Behind the Curtain

Still with A Million Memories May Kit. I haven’t had enough obviously. And still with the butterflies of course.

Journaling is about how Nathaniel loves looking out the window during our bedtime routine. It’s one of my favorite things so I wanted to make sure to capture it.

Details:

May 13, 2010 | A Layout A Day in May, Layouts, Scrapbooking | 8 comments

Daily Diary – May 12 2010

Something slightly different. Not sure how I feel about this photo but here we are.

Quiet day today. I am learning to be more and more peaceful every day. Working really hard on not freaking out. With work and with home-related things. Trusting that things work out somehow or another. Here are a bunch of photos from our day.

Nathaniel loves playing with David’s toys.

And the remotes.

And he loves looking at the TV when he turns it on. And I love looking at his lips and fingers and face.

He was being whiny this afternoon as David and I did some workbooks, so I put him on the couch next to David.

He immediately reached for the workbook (and pencil).

David, nicely, locked arms with him to block him lovingly. Isn’t he awesome?

And he also loves this toy I got for David years ago where it has different switches you twist and press and lift etc which opens these doors and animals pop out. He can’t open them but loves closing them. So he closes them and then shrieks until I open them back up again. And again and again.

Lovely day. I am trying to do my updates earlier so I can have time in the evenings to read and work and relax. Also gives me something happy to do during the 4-6 timeslot that I am not a fan of so win-win.

Note to Self:
I am working hard to learn to let go of things. To learn to realize that most things don’t matter. It’s not worth arguing. It’s not a big deal if a friend isn’t reading my blog. If my son spilled some crumbs. If Nathaniel skips a nap. If my hubby leaves something around instead of cleaning it up. These are small things and while they might be slightly frustrating, they don’t mean anything. They are not secret signs of bigger things. I am working hard not to make stories around them or get carried away. I think it’s better and easier to live this way. I want to work on this more and more. Sometimes I catch myself too late but still better to be mindful too late than not at all, right?

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am trying to enjoy this calmer, more relaxed attitude. Hopefully it won’t bite me.
2. I am grateful for my upcoming book club meeting.
3. I am grateful for David who helps me so much with Nathaniel and with the house.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Daddy and Nathaniel and Mommy, my whole family.
2. Playing with and getting presents from my family.

May 12, 2010 | Daily Diary - 2010, DPGallery | 6 comments

Layout a Day in May – Love

I made this using A Million Memories May Kit. Here is layout #12. I was feeling very uninspired today after an aborted attempt with glimmer mist etc. so I wanted to take it easy. I almost didn’t even make a layout but then told myself simple is fine. And here we are:

Journaling is about how it’s every mom’s dream to have her kids love each other so much. Love my boys so deeply.

details:

May 12, 2010 | A Layout A Day in May, Layouts, Scrapbooking | 4 comments

Daily Diary – May 11 2010

No idea what these flowers are called. I need to learn more flower names.

Nathaniel is practicing walking all the time now but he’s still a bit wobbly. His body is too forward. It’s so cute to watch him.

And David’s a clown as always.

Nathaniel with his walker. Loves these things.

And here he is quietly playing. Love these moments. They are pretty rare but fully enjoyable. I love watching him play.

I got some more stuff done today. I talk about getting stuff done everyday don’t I? Isn’t it tiring to listen to it? I think I’ve also joined a new reading group. Still not sure but I’m going to read the book just in case. Can’t hurt to read a good book, can it?

Not much from me today, hope your day was well?

Note to Self:
I need to work on my yelling. I notice that I can go from calm to insane in a second. And I hate yelling. I hate who I am when I am yelling. I feel strongly that it doesn’t get my point across and it doesn’t make me feel better. I need to try to count to five or to walk away or something to calm myself down. I don’t want to be the mom who yells. I don’t want to be the person who yells or panics or loses her cool 50 times a day. I’d rather find a way to work on this while they are still small because I feel things will get more challenging with time. What do you do? Do you have ways to calm yourself down before you lose your cool?

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Glee tonight! Yey.
2. Grateful for some crafting time with my son.
3. Grateful for a relatively quiet day and a 15 minute nap in the afternoon.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. playing at home and with Nathaniel.
2. grateful for my Daddy
3. Playing with my legos!

May 11, 2010 | Daily Diary - 2010, DPGallery | 2 comments

Layout a Day in May – Don’t Touch

With A Million Memories May Kit, too.

Journaling is about how Nathaniel likes to touch everything. Especially like to yank my computer cables. When I tell him to not touch, he always gets mad, sad, frustrated.

Details:

May 11, 2010 | A Layout A Day in May, Layouts, Scrapbooking | 4 comments

Weekly Gratitude – The Best Present

The greatest part of this project for me has been the fact that I sit at the end of each day and think of three things I have to be grateful for. Most days it’s not hard but sometimes it is. I also love that Lori and I picked themes. I use them as my focus for the photos/words cards I create that month. Each theme is not equal for me. Nature was really easy cause I can think of much to be grateful for there and this month’s theme, Body, is exceptionally hard for me. Partly because I have so many issues around that topic. Partly because I don’t appreciate much of anything about my body. Either way, the fact that it’s our theme forces me to look harder, look deeper. And the thing is, with practice it gets easier.

As I did my first two pieces for this month, the last two pieces came a lot more easily. It works the same way with gratitude in general. Because I am doing these everyday, I pay more attention to my day. I notice things. I actually feel the gratitude while it’s happening and not just afterwards. I think it’s common to look at a memory and remember the bliss, the joy of that moment. We’re pretty good at blocking out the bad and remembering the good after the fact. But, often times, I tend to get lost in the moment and not appreciate it a lot while it’s happening. This project has allowed me to be more aware. I am really grateful for that.

This awareness also makes me more joyful and realize how amazing my life is. Of course, I have my challenges, my down days, my issues. But, all in all, life is amazing. I have so much to be grateful for and I take time to revel in that regularly now. I focus on the gratitude. The joy. I really try to. The thing with happiness is that thinking you’re happy makes you feel happy. At least I think so. And the awareness this project has raised in my life allows me to live each moment with more joy, with more gratitude, and with so much more happiness.

Honestly I think this is the best gift I could have ever received.

Thank you, Lori, for asking me to do this with you. And for those of you who are “behind” or who wish you could do this, too, it’s really, truly never too late. I swear. Just start today. You will love every moment of it.


The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.

May 11, 2010 | Weekly Gratitude | 2 comments

Daily Diary – May 10 2010

Flowers are nature’s music.

Here’s a typical shot of our life. David eating, Nathaniel walking around. Playing.

And then both of the boys playing.

And Nathaniel practicing some more walking.

Uneventful but nice day here. Quiet, peaceful. David had a playdate in the afternoon and it was nice to have someone over, playing with him. He’s always so nice to others and I love that about him. He works hard to control himself even when he’s frustrated.

Not much to say tonight. Hope your Monday was well.

Note to Self:
I worked on being calmer today. Trying to stay low key, calm, happy and not get frazzled. For the most part it worked; I need to work on it more. I’m the one setting an example for my kids. If I am not calm, it sets off everything on the wrong path. Not to mention, it ruins my day, too. I certainly believe things are self-perpetuating and happiness is a state of mind and something I can choose. So is calm. I really want to work on this. I think if i could be calmer and happier, it would make life considerably pleasant all the time.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Good books. I’ve been reading lately and each time I read I remember how much I love reading.
2. Nice chat with my mom and with my sis. I love them so and I am thankful to get to talk to them so often.
3. I am grateful for tulips today. I got a new bunch yesterday and I love them so much. They make me happy.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I swear he said legos again.
2. Having a playdate with Ece.

May 10, 2010 | Daily Diary - 2010, DPGallery | Leave a comment

Layout a Day in May – Frustrated

With A Million Memories May Kit.

Journaling is about how Nathaniel can’t talk yet so uses his face to express frustration.

Details:

May 10, 2010 | A Layout A Day in May, Layouts, Scrapbooking | One comment

Crafting with David – Writing his Words

This week’s craft was not a craft as much as writing.

David and I practiced all the words he’s learned to spell in the last few weeks. He wrote each of them 5 times. He was losing his patience towards the end but stuck with it.

He tried to focus hard.

And filled the whole page. Two pages actually.

We need to do this more often and we need to get back into the habit of practicing more words. We both feel lazy about it sometimes.

May 10, 2010 | Craft with David | 4 comments

Daily Diary – May 9 2010

The path to my house is filled with roses. They are each so large and stunning. So many colors.

A wonderful Sunday here. Some scrappy time, some quiet reading time, a delicious and wonderful lunch with my whole family, some more reading, and now a little bit of business. As always I didn’t get all my todos done but I’m ok with that.

The very best part of Mom’s day was getting wonderful photos of my family. One of all of us.

And then me with my boys.

And another.

And one of my three boys. The wonderful men in my life.

And another. The loves of my life.

I am a little sad the weekend’s over. But I am in a lot of pain, too. Maybe I’ll just take a sick day tomorrow and actually lie in bed. That would be a novel idea. I have no idea what to do to make my back pain go away. Anyhow. It shall pass.

A word for my mom. I love you mom. Over the years, you’ve always loved and supported me wholeheartedly. You’ve always always had my best interest in mind and you were patient and respectful of my choices (even if you didn’t understand them or agree with them.) No child could ask for a better mom. I love, adore and cherish you. With all of my heart and soul.

I also wanted to take a moment to thank and acknowledge my amazing sister, my grandmother, my other grandmother (who totally would have called me today. I thought of you so much Omama.), my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, and all the amazing moms in my life. And all the people who’ve taken the time to make me feel special in some way or another. Those of you who come to read. I might be just another blog in your surfing but it means a lot to me that you take the time to read my words.

Note to Self:
I was thinking today that days like this (Mother’s Day) comes with so many expectations. So much comparison. Bad feelings for those whose kids might have passed away. For those who lost a baby or those who cannot yet conceive. I have a lot of thoughts on this. So I will try to organize a bit.

On what I want for our family: Over the years, I’ve been through a lot of different feelings about these events. Even about birthdays and anniversaries and Christmas, etc. On one hand I think most of these have become commercialized events and I am not excited about that. On the other hand, I think there’s nothing wrong with taking an occasion to make someone feel special. I want to celebrate life with abandon. I want days to be filled with appreciation and joy. And if there are certain days reserved just for that, I am ok with that. Why not? I want to make cards and banners and celebrations. I don’t care if others think it’s dorky. I think it’s happy. And why not live with joy. Sarcasm is so overrated if you ask me.

On expectations: Having said all of this, while I want to encourage my family to play along with me, I also want to live my life with no expectations. I can’t find it now but Gretchen Rubin has this whole thing about gold stars and not looking for them or the one about no calculations and I wholeheartedly believe in it. And when I see myself slipping, I try hard to give myself a talking. The fact is, I chose my husband and I adore him. I chose to be a mother. I chose to stay/work at home and be there with them (which i love love love.) and they owe me nothing. My mom doesn’t owe me anything. No one owes me. I am so thankful for these people in my life. I am so thankful for how much I have. The best part of Mother’s day is getting to wake up and being in the house with the people I love. Knowing that they are in my life. The flowers, the chocolate, presents. Those things are meaningless compared to the love. To life. So, if you’re comparing, I hope you don’t. I hope you realize the amazingness of your life and its gifts. Cause I am working hard to do that over here. To live and love the choices I made. (and if I don’t, I love that I have the freedom to change my choices.) So no expectations here. If I want a special day, I want to be a part of creating it, not expecting it.

For those of you who have personal tragedies or stories that keep you from feeling good about today, I hope you take the time to be kind to yourself. To pamper yourself. Don’t wait around for someone to recognize you. Recognize yourself. You’re amazing, just the way you are. I swear. You are. So make sure you are acknowledging that. Today and everyday. (I know it sounds cheesy but it is true. It really is. Let go of the stupid sarcasm and embrace joy and happiness. Life’s so much better when lived with joy.)

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Photos of us. I love having photos of us. I love love love them.
2. An absolutely delicious lunch with all of my boys.
3. Grateful for my life today. Just the little moments in between the craziness, the meals, the routines, the rush.

Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. legos legos legos. yep. and again.
2. getting to eat chocolate and dessert

May 9, 2010 | Daily Diary - 2010, DPGallery | 2 comments

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