Staying Open – April 12

 

Staying Open – 102

 

Yellow is my favorite color.

Got to spend so much of today with my sister again and it was such a gift. We sat in the sun and ate ice cream. We walked. We talked. We laughed.

And it was sunny the whole time.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 11

 

Staying Open – 100

 

I have been thinking about being open lately. And how the last two months have been a lot and how I feel closed. It’s time to work on opening up again.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 09

Staying Open – 99

 

I bought more flowers today. I am still working on recovering. While some parts were faster than I’d hoped, others are going more slowly than I’d like. Teaching me the value of patience.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 08

 

 

Staying Open – 98

 

I spent most of yesterday sleeping and working with my kiddos. Forgot to post :).

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 07

 

Staying Open – 97

 

My beautiful sister is visiting. It was such a joy to get to spend the day with her and talk talk talk for hours.

What a gift.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 06

 

Staying Open – 96

 

All I have are photos of flowers so I’m sorry if you’re getting sick of them. My life’s been mostly sitting on the couch so not much else to photograph at the moment.

I had my check in today and all is going well. I have a while to go but I am recovering.

I’m feeling a little numb with so much bad news in the world lately. Is it just me? Scared for my kids.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 05

Staying Open – 95

 

I believe the best thing we can do for other people is to make sure they feel seen and heard. it takes time and love and caring and kindness and patience and more than anything it takes being open. Open to your way not being the only way. Open to seeing others. It’s who I want to be. I want people around me to feel seen and loved and appreciated just as they are.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 04

Staying Open – 94

 

It’s been good to be back at work and talking to people and helping make some progress.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – April 03

Staying Open – 93

 

This is where I love now and I work here and I paint here and eat here and practice my letters and my Korean and read and watch TV. And I sleep here.

I’ve lived on this couch for almost two weeks now.

Today was my first day back to working. I took it easy and I am ready to nap now. One day at a time.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – March 27

Staying Open – 86

 

Grateful for another day of healing. I have nothing to report because my days are still lying on the couch and reading, sleeping or watching some TV. That’s about it.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – March 26

 

Staying Open – 85

 

Flowers and paintbrushes making me happy.

I am ready to be done with recovery.

All the respect to people who have to do this, it takes mental fortitude and patience.

I was also thinking today about how we are all really living our lives alone. I am lucky to have an amazing and loving family who have been taking care of me, checking up on me, sitting with me. Kind friends who message me, offer to come sit with me and bring whatever I might wish. I’m really lucky.

But in the end I am experiencing this all by myself. Only I know how it feels for me and I have to make it through, no one else can do it for me.

It’s easier to be alone with other people who love you around you but in the end all we really have is ourselves and that’s the biggest reason to love yourself, to know yourself and to have your own back. Because we experience so much of life on our own. It’s much easier if we can be our own friend through it.

Maybe I’m not making much sense with the lack of sleep but it makes sense in my head 🙂

Trying to hold it together over here and still very grateful for lack of physical pain.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Staying Open – March 25

 

Staying Open – 84

 

Good news is that my pain is pretty low. I’m very grateful for that and hopefully that means I’m recovering. My sleep is quite choppy and I am tired all the time.

I thought I’d watch a bunch of TV this week since I can’t do anything but I am not interested in anything at all. Ted lasso and shrinking aside nothing at all has held my interest so I am trying to read as much as I can and just doing nothing when I can’t.

Doing nothing is not awesome. But alas it is what it is.

#open #olw #stayingopen