Weekly Intention: This week starts with a lot of work, eases up a tiny bit in the middle, ends with a day in David’s school and finally a trip to Reno for skiing. (If all goes well.) I’m still down from the way last week ended and I feel frustrated, sad, and I would like to take some serious time to re-ground myself. I feel like I’ve gone from doing a lot to basically sitting around all weekend. And while I need to rest, I also need to remember what I told David a few weeks ago: life isn’t necessarily about feeling happy. or looking for happiness. it’s about purpose. feeling fulfilled and purposeful. i feel like while my work fills me up, the rest of my life is not as much. i haven’t been feeling it, lately. and i would like to work on this. weekends come and i feel selfish. i want to do nothing. but then, of course, that’s not fulfilling. so i feel empty. i need to work on a balance here. so my goal this week is to journal and get an understanding of how i can re-ground myself, release the frustration and self-disappointment. then i would like to make some plans for the upcoming holidays the kids have. and finally, make some plans for our weekends, as well.
This month’s intention is: Rise and Shine. Hit the ground running.
Ways to Shine this week:
- One: Bold: I want to take some bold steps for myself this week. Let’s see if I can make a plan.
- Two: Open: This is a tough week for connecting with friends but i want to do more here. be more open. create more of a community.
- Three: Heal/Nourish: I know I said this last week, but i will spend time journaling this week. i need it.
I am looking forward to: skiing. nathaniel’s activity day.
This week’s challenges: a long day on Tuesday this week again. Thursday will also be interesting. And while I am looking forward to the weekend, I also know it will be tiring.
Top Goals:
- Work: a few more things to get in line this week before I feel like we’ve settled into the routines of this year.
- Personal: do more art. journal. get back to being grounded.
- Family: support N on his activity day. have a wonderful skiing vacation.
I will focus on my core desires (bold, mindful, nourish, love) by: journaling this week. i need to see what i am thinking. i really need it. i also would like to be more open, expansive, generous. and not stingy.
This week, I will say yes to: skiing! fun. enjoying it. making the most of it!
This week, I will say no to: being grumpy. judging myself. i will forgive myself. again and again and again.
I am worried that: that i will not get enough art done in preparation for february. that i will never start my big work project or do a bad job of it. i am worried nathaniel’s day will be challenging. i am worried skiing will be taxing. i am worried i will be so tired it will seep into the following week. i am worried i will be impatient and let down the people i love. i am worried i will not feel better. i am worried i will keep carrying this weight that i seem to be carrying in my soul. i am worried i won’t be able to figure out what’s wrong.
This week, I want to remember: that it’s never too late. i can be who i want to be any moment of any day. every day is a new day and every day i get to start over. every day.
Three ways I shone this week:
- One: I gave someone a second chance. Even though it was more trouble than I would have liked.
- Two: I spent quality time with both kids doing a bit of programming with each.
- Three: I showed up and did my best to listen and be present with friends.
I celebrate: driving very close to the city and back in the rain for my kids. it was brave and hard for me but i did it.
I am grateful for: jake this week. he covered for me on tuesday when i worked really long and hard. and took us to david’s school on friday night when i really was glad to get a bit of rest and not drive.
I nourished myself by: having warm tea, eating well, getting rest.
Reflecting on my worries: i was worried about not getting enough done, but i did all i had to do. i sent the emails and their usefulness will be visible over time. i wrote some code to automate the tracking so i am hopeful that it will be manageable. i didn’t mess up my interview at all. it did rain but we survived it. i was tired. but i didn’t mess anything up. as for the energy, i am definitely feeling tired but i think i have to solve this one in a different way. there were plenty of things i didn’t worry about that did happen. but these items i had worried about did not.
I let go of: journaling this week. it just wasn’t meant to be 🙁
Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love):
- At work, the boldness paid off, i feel delighted. In life, i wish i were bolder this past week.
- I was mindful of a rare case where David asked for something he doesn’t usually ask for and we all showed up for it.
- I am nourishing myself. I am noticing how hard it is and how i still crave chocolate and soda. thinking through what all this means for me.
- And love. I think I did well on love this week. Better. I was patient and kind several times when it would have been easier not to.
What made me laugh this week: nothing is coming to mind. is that bad?
What I tolerated this week: a very frustrating thursday. i think i am still tolerating it.
My mood this week was: once i made it to mid-week i think it all went downhill. i was grumpy and impatient and frustrated. i then felt disappointed in myself. and i haven’t recovered yet.
I forgive myself for: being grumpy. i am planning to take the time to look for the lessons here.
What I love right now: i love these lovely flowers sitting on my desk.
Here’s to a wonderful week four!
You can read about the start of this project here.
It says: when i accept myself, i am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.
Loving Hearts is a Monthly Project for January 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
       I started my week with Flawd because one of my libraries had it and it looked interesting. I had never heard of it and had no idea what to expect. It’s written by a twenty year old and it’s about a project she started when she was a teen. It’s quite lovely and upbeat and just not what I expected.
I then moved on to The Whole Town’s Talking. Fried Green Tomatoes is one of my all-time favorite books and I had never read Fannie Flagg, so when this came out, I wanted to give it a whirl and I am so glad I did. I really enjoyed the whole story from beginning to end, even the crazy unexpected parts. It was just lovely. I am glad I picked it up.
I read The Sleeper and the Spindle because my friend Amysaid it was her favorite read of 2016 and she is one well-read lady. I am always worried when I pick up a Gaiman because he can be scary at times. I both read and listened to this one and the audio version was quite fantastic. The drawings in the book version were also fantastic so I guess I recommend both versions. My favorite quote from this short, wonderful story came toward the end: Learning how to be strong, to feel her own emotions and not another’s, had been hard; but once you learned the trick of it, you did not forget. (Here’s to hoping I can learn one day, too.)
I had attempted to read Wolf in White Van when it first came out but never managed to make my way through it, so when I found out that the author is coming out with a new story this year, I decided I wanted to read this and see if I like the author. It was a very tough book to read but I did like it. I’m still thinking about it, in fact.
My copy of Messy: The Power of Disorder to Transform Our Lives was due back at the library in two days so I decided to listen to at least some of it and see if I liked it. And I did. I only listened to a few of the chapters and the premise of what I read so far is basically that life is messy and we shouldn’t try to create too much “fake” order out of it because we learn to deal with life’s mess better when we encounter mess along the way. I explained that badly but it’s a good book. Makes a lot of sensible points around autonomy, creating an environment where mess and creativity are encouraged, etc.
Still Life with Tornado was also on my list for a while so when my turn came up in the library, I was looking forward to reading it, even though I didn’t know very much about what it was about. It was another tough, tough book to listen to even though the style was quite interesting and engrossing (though also a bit hard to keep track of in audio). It was a great book. It’s YA so if that’s not your cup of tea, skip it.
And, finally, I also had Browsings:A Year of Reading, Collecting, and Living with Books checked out from the library so I decided to dabble in that a bit, too. I listened to about half of this book and plan to listen to more occasionally because it’s meant to be like a tasting menu. I always love books about books and even though I prefer Schwalbe’s book, I just loved hearing about someone who loves books (and pens and notebooks) as much as I do.
That’s it for this week’s reading. A wide range and good mix this week.
Books I Read this Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
You can read about the start of this project here.
It says: take time to do what makes your soul happy.
Loving Hearts is a Monthly Project for January 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
Week two of nourishing myself. I am still telling myself stories of when I will be able to eat candy again. While I don’t miss bread all that much, I do miss being able to have sandwiches because when I go out to eat, it’s often salad or sandwich so this means I don’t have any warm options. Though I’ve been having soup, too. My problem has mostly been one of variety. I just need something like 3-4 reasonably easy breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas and I’d be set. But alas. I keep going. And I keep paying attention to my thoughts. It’s amazing how much negotiation I keep having to go through. All of this reminds me why I am doing this to begin with and keeps me on my toes.
So here we go:
Mind:
- I read: I read a lot this week, too. More detail tomorrow. I’ve also gone through pretty much all the “here are the books to look forward to in 2017” lists on the internet. Here’s the millions one which is by far the most comprehensive and if YA is your cup of tea, here’s the book riot review of 170 YA books coming in the first three months of 2017 .
- I learned: I signed up for several classes this week. Wholehearted Artist by Stephanie Lee. I’ve taken her classes before and they’ve been lifechanging for me. I wanted to sign up for Danielle’s A Color Narrative but I still haven’t finished doing all the work from her Storybooks and Studious Girls class so I wanted to resist. But as I was looking I couldn’t help myself but sign up for Be Still. (here are some lovely videos by Danielle, she is amazing.) And even though I haven’t bought any of her goodies yet, the unparalleled Jane Davenport has a free mixed media class. I am sure it’s amazing.
- I watched: Thank’s to swissmiss, here are a few lovely videos from this week. A little bit of joy, the danger of silence, talk about friendship, amazing wrapping trick, and farewell to obama. I also watched this lovely video of David Brooks’ ideas from his great book. A little TV this week mostly when I was sick.
Body:
- Exercise: I did the 7-minute exercise once a day, everyday. Knee is still so-so.
- Food: Still eating fresh food. No coffee, no soda. Lots of veggies.
- Skin: moisturized every day when i came out of the shower.
- Floss: flossed every night. love my floss.
- And More: my dentist encouraged me to use a flouride-rich toothpaste in the evenings so I’ve added that to my self-care routine too.
Soul:
- I rested: I’ve tried to rest as much as possible this week. I slept soundly some nights and not so well on others. But I went to bed early every night to allow for the possibility of an eight-hour sleep schedule.
- I connected: Not much connecting this week, I was quite sick.
- I journaled: I journaled very little this week. I will fix this.
- I made art: Meh. I did a bit of art but not nearly enough and I feel very uninspired to do more sadly.
Here’s to baby steps. Here’s to taking it one day at a time. I can do this.
Nourish Me Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
You can read about the start of this project here.
It says: real love begins where nothing is expected in return.
Loving Hearts is a Monthly Project for January 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
I think I originally saw puzzles on Ali’s blog or instagram. I know she’s posted them before and for some reason this past October, I just decided I wanted to try them too. The last time I made a puzzle, I was around sixteen. All my puzzles were in Turkey and I didn’t even know how to buy one, where to buy one, which one to buy.
As it worked out, the week I was thinking about all this, my kids and I went to the local bookstore and found this wonderful puzzle on the Transit theme. Since I work on Google Transit, I decided it was serendipity. During Thanksgiving, I spent most of my moments working on that puzzle. And then I was hooked. Since then, I’ve done around ten puzzles.
The worst part of doing puzzles has definitely been the ache in my neck, arms, and back from all the bending over. At first, I was making them on the couch, which was likely the very worst position I could make them in and now I do them at the kitchen table but I still have quite a bit of pain after hours of sitting and leaning over.
On the up side, the best thing about them has been the sheer number of books I can listen to while I make puzzles. I love sitting at the table, drinking my tea and listening to a great book. I love the peace, the serenity. It’s become the thing I most look forward to in my weekend days. Certainly beats Candy Crush.
You can read about the start of this project here.
It says: respond to every call that excites your spirit.
Loving Hearts is a Monthly Project for January 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
Weekly Intention: This is a bit of an odd week. Tuesday promises to be very stressful with several important meetings and multiple context changes and Wednesday looks mild at the moment but I suspect it will fill up and it certainly goes all the way into the night. And then the latter end of the week is quieter but will require two trips to David’s school. Both, possibly in the rain. One during rush hour on Friday. Not my favorite time to be on the road. I feel that if I make it past Tuesday, it will get easier. My intention this week is to be mindful, intentional and slow. Listen more than I talk. Be organized, intentional and methodical. I would like to be efficient in the work I get done and then rest as much as possible.
This month’s intention is: Rise and Shine. Hit the ground running.
Ways to Shine this week:
- One: Bold: Tuesday is going to be all about being bold, baby!
- Two: Open: I get to celebrate David this week. All of his accomplishments at school. I can’t wait.
- Three: Heal/Nourish: I’d like to spend some time with self-care this week. Maybe a nice, warm bath is in order. Certainly, so is journaling.
I am looking forward to: David’s culmination.
This week’s challenges: a tough Tuesday. an interview on Thursday. all my nights this week are full. So i will have to work extra hard to rest.
Top Goals:
- Work: actually start creating weekly summaries, see if I can pull it together. i have an idea but we will see if it comes together.
- Personal: do art. i feel disappointed in myself that i’ve made no February art already.
- Family: helping Jake, getting back into routine for Nathaniel and helping David is all I want this week.
I will focus on my core desires (bold, mindful, nourish, love) by: slowing down this week. this will be hard with how full the week is but i will try to stay grounded in this moment. just take things one meeting at a time. i will remember not to put the urgent before the important. i will try.
This week, I will say yes to: some time with friends. i haven’t seen friends in a while.
This week, I will say no to: aiming for perfection. these status emails will be work in progress. one week at a time.
I am worried that: i will not get enough done this week. i am worried the emails will be terrible, not useful. i am worried that i will not be able to maintain this work of staying on top of all of the tracking craziness. i am worried that i will mess up the interview i am going to conduct. i am worried that it will rain. i am worried that i will be tired and mess things up. i am worried that i will never feel more energy even though i am trying to eat better.
This week, I want to remember: i am loved and worthy. my worth doesn’t come from my job, my ability to mother my kids or be a wife. I just am and it’s ok that i mess up. what matters is that i get up and i keep trying. i will always keep trying.
Here’s to a great week!
You can read about the start of this project here.
It says: i wish to live a life that causes my soul to dance inside my body.
Loving Hearts is a Monthly Project for January 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
Three ways I shone this week:
- One: It was another week of logistical stuff but I got a lot of it done. My hunch is there might be a bit more this coming week.
- Two: Hmm, not sure if this counts as shining but I was really sick this week and decided to stay home and rest instead of going to a few events. Maybe that’s more nourish than shine? But maybe nourishing myself is shining? I am not sure….
- Three: I worked hard to be my kindest self in several occasions this week for some of the volunteer work I do at work.
I celebrate: feeling better. i am so glad i feel healthy again.
I am grateful for: working at home and for jake’s flexible schedule. jake really supported me this week while we were both pretty sick. he drove the kids to and from school multiple times so I could stay home and get better. Working at home meant that I could still work and keep up with most things despite feeling sick.
I nourished myself by: still eating a lot of spinach over here. resting. drinking water and tea. and reading. so grateful for books.
Reflecting on my worries: i worried about not giving enough time to the boys and as it worked out, I spent a lot of time with both of the kids. Nathaniel was home sick on Monday and he was also home on Friday because he had no school. We did indeed start a bit of a math routine. I also spent a lot of time with David on Friday night and Saturday night. So, all in all, yes it’s not perfect but I need to remember that we spend a lot of time together. I do listen. I do show them how much I love them.
I let go of: being super productive this week. I was really sick. I just tried not to be so hard on myself.
Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love):
- I continued the trend of being bold (albeit very nicely) and I think it’s still paying off. Here’s to hoping it continues.
- It’s interesting how mindfulness comes with a lot of hardship for me. I had several more hard moments. Really tough ones. But I made it through and here is to being a bit more mindful next time, maybe. Hopefully.
- I am still working on nourishment. It continues to amaze me how my brain works and how hard this is.
- And love. Well this is the one I always mess up on. This is the one that I wish I did a better job with. I wish I could wear my love on my face, my sleeves, my words so much more than I do. I wish my people could just see it and have no doubt how much, how deeply I love them. I’ll just have to keep trying harder.
What made me laugh this week: snuggle time with Nathaniel.
What I tolerated this week: being sick. it was quite frustrating being sick, i had a cut on my tongue which drove me mad, too. it’s gone now thankfully.
My mood this week was: mostly lethargic this week.
I forgive myself for: needing more forgiveness this week. for being broken in places. i am learning we are all works in progress.
What I love right now: right now i am grateful for a long weekend. especially after being sick all week.
Here’s to a wonderful week three!
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projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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