I was talking to a client the other day and he told me that once he accomplished such and such goal, he would then be able to relax and spend a lot of quality time with his wife. For this person, spending more high quality time with his wife was at the top of his things-i-want-to-do-more-of list. I paused for a second and then I told him that he was no longer allowed to wait for his one-day life.

Here’s the thing.

This is your one-day life. You can’t put off living, happiness, and joy until the “one day” comes. Because it might never come. We tend to always move the target as we get close to it. So what was “one day” to you ten years ago might look very different now. You might already be living the “one day” you hoped to have back in 2003. And, yet, here you are putting things off for this magical “one day” again.

And if you ever reach that “one day” it might not be what you expected. You might find yourself busier, unhappier, less fulfilled than you imagined the “one day” would look like.

You might not live to see the one day.

You might have some terrible thing happen and it would change your possible “one day” scenario completely. You might have a huge fortune befall you and the definition of “one day” would turn topsy-turvy again.

None of us know what tomorrow will be like. None of us know what really will happen. All we get is this one day. This day. All we get is this moment.

And in this moment, there’s really no good excuse to put off doing something that gives you joy over doing anything else.

There are exceptions of course, I don’t mean “quit your job, move to some remote beach until your money runs out and you’re penniless.” I am not speaking extremes of any kind, actually. I am talking about weaving in some of what you love, some of the reward you keep postponing, into your everyday.

What is on your list of things you’re going to do “one day”?

The day you’re finally rich enough to quit your job. When your kids are finally grown and out of the house. When you’re finally healthy again. When you’re thinner/prettier. Whatever your personal reason is, I encourage you wholeheartedly not to put off all your dreams/joys/happiness to “one day.”

Instead, make your “one day” list right now. Sit down, get a paper and pen and write it all out. From the smallest/easiest to the craziest. Write it all out. First of all, it’s wonderful to have dreams, goals, ambitions, hopes and things to look forward to.

But even more importantly, once you make the list, it’s real. You can start weaving some fo these into your life already. Want to go to Africa? You can start buying books, learning about what parts of Africa you might want to visit. This way you’re actually one step closer to achieving it. You can spend time with your loved ones. Go out to dinner with a long lost friend. Maybe you can’t quit your job and hang out with friends all day long, but you can certainly schedule a weekly dinner with friends. There are many ways to start taking baby steps into your “one day” life. Many ways to fulfill some of them right now.

I definitely do see the advantages of having dreams and goals. Things to look forward to. Sometimes life is hard and those goals keep us hopeful and give us the energy to make it through the rougher times.

However, there’s a difference between having something to look forward to and postponing joy. Postponing living. Especially postponing connecting with your loved ones. The time to spend with your kids is now. With your spouse. With your friends. With your parents. Now is the time to connect with the people you love. Now is the time to take a few moments every day and do something that gives you joy. Draw. Walk. Sing. Run. Whatever it is, putting it off is not the answer.

Maybe we will all get lucky and the “one day” plan will completely work out. And then you can do every single thing on your list.

But in the meantime, let’s live the one life we have fully. I’ll give you the same homework I gave my client. Schedule date night right now. Spend time with your wife. Don’t put off your happiness. Give this day everything we have. Soak in it. Go all in.

This is your time.

Since I’ve decided to spend February celebrating and my word for this year is present, I’ve been thinking about ways to celebrate the present moment. I work at home and spend most of my day alone. I’ve noticed that it’s relatively easy for me to get into a funk at some point during the day. And if I don’t acknowledge it and do something about it, I can carry that funk all day and spread it to those around me.

I decided to work at home so I could be around more for my kids, so if I am going to be crabby, it sort of ruins the whole reason why I moved my life around to make this setup work. I am trying to be more aware of how my mood can spread and spill over to the way I interact with anyone. And the way I write emails. The way I make assumptions about the people I run into. The way I read/interpret emails. The way I talk to my kids and husband. I can go on and on but I think you get the point.

So I decided to take two kinds of actions that will allow me to be more present, celebrate this moment, and get out of my funks:

1. Notice the joyful moments and take a pause:
I get to have many moments in my day where something wonderful is happening. For example, every day, after his nap (or quiet time since naps seem to be disappearing) my son comes to snuggle next to me as he watches an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He will hug me and let me kiss him and smell him as much as I want. I now make a point of taking a few minutes off work and really basking in the joy of smelling his neck and kissing and hugging him.

It doesn’t have to be a snuggly activity. I do the same thing with my older son and his homework. On most days, I get to help him with his homework. This often means playing a math game together or brainstorming ideas on what to write. Instead of trying to get-it-over-with, I now take an extra ten minutes and really enjoy getting to be here with him and teach my son while we play. This is something I care about and I am grateful to get to do it (instead of being at work when he comes home from school.)

It doesn’t even have to involve others. I have to go out daily to get the mail. This two second walk from my door to the mailbox reminds me that I live in sunny California and the weather is exquisite on most days. Instead of rushing in and out, I take a few extra seconds and soak in the sun. If there was snow, I could certainly soak in the snow, too!

The other day, I was exercising on the treadmill and I looked out the garage to see an incredible sky filled with orange and red as the sun was coming up. I stopped my movie and watched the sky, marveling in its beauty.

Most of these activities are really small moments. Ordinary life moments. All of these things are things that already naturally occur in my day. Things that really really give me joy but things that I know I overlook (or things that get overshadowed by other things that annoy me.) And this extra pause allows me to remember (and lock in) the joy of all the little, ordinary moments. To be really present. To feel it in my body, be conscious, and really be here to completely savor this very moment.

2. Make a list of small acts that give me joy and do 3-5 each day
I’ve been noticing that besides the things that naturally occur in my day, there are small things that I can do to really pickup my mood. For example, there are a few songs that almost always put me in a good mood. So if I am really feeling tired, funky, or crabby, I can just put the song on and there’s an 85% chance I will be in a better mood.

The sun is another mood-lifter. It’s proven scientifically that our brains like being outdoors. Seeing the sky and trees and wind and sun make us feel better. So I can definitely take a 5 minute walk around the block. Or even just open my door and look out for 2 minutes.

I can take a 20 minute break and sit down to eat a healthy food that I really enjoy (instead of rushing through it while I reply to email.) I can play with my kids for 6 minutes. I can hug my kids, my husband, or even myself. I can buy myself flowers. I can read a book I love for 15 minutes. I can draw. I can write a thank you note, gratitude note or just a catch-up email to a friend.

The goal here is to change modes. So I can add an activity to my day to jolt my brain from the funk it might be sinking into.

Most of these activities make me happy and they range anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. I can definitely take 3-5 breaks throughout my day to incorporate them and see if they inject more joy into my day. At a minimum, they will refresh my mind/body/soul so I can work more efficiently when I am done.

So those are my two goals every day. Find five naturally-occurring joyful moments where I can pause and really soak and lock it in and create three-to-five small moments where I am doing something I know is likely to bring me joy. My task tonight is to make my joy-list for category two so I have a long list of ideas to pull from. Not too long since too much choice can be a bad thing but enough that I am not doing the same things every day.

There we go. Plan for celebrating the moment, being more present, and adding more joy into my days.