karenika

Clearing the Space

It’s been a long time since I wrote one of these posts. My hibernation has been well-used but I miss writing here a lot. I usually spend some of my evenings writing these posts and now my nights are full with coaching clients and class. Whatever time I have leftover goes to family. I still miss these because, for me, they are a way to stay connected with myself and with my life. So I will try to find the space to write them again as I find my new schedule. (Which is an altogether different topic for a different day.)

My last coaching class was all about perspective and looking at a particular concern you have from many different perspectives and seeing how each of them felt. And then choosing one. The issue I decided to tackle was self-compassion. I am relatively good at forgiving others (especially people I love) and I give them many many chances. I tend to believe in the basic goodness of people and think that most people do not mean to cause harm onto others.

But I am much harder on myself.

I don’t like to let anyone down. I don’t like to be the cause of anyone’s pain. I don’t like to mess up. And when I do mess up, I am not so good at letting it go. I feel disproportionately disappointed in myself. I beat myself up and then hang on to the pain and sorrow for a long time.

One of my big goals for a few years (and especially for 2013) is to be more present and pay attention to this moment. Not get hung up on the past and not to worry about the future. I really, deeply believe this is a crucial step for peace.

So when I was thinking about all this during my class, I decided to do a daily ritual to help create more self-compassion in my life.

Each night, I sit on my bed, light a small candle and say “I forgive myself for all the mistakes I made today. I am now letting this day go so I can begin tomorrow fresh.” And then I blow out my candle.

Then I write down three things I am grateful for from today. Things that are specific to my life. I was writing them on paper but now I write them on my ipad which automatically emails them to me. This way when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is the candle I blew out so I can remember that I let the bad go. And then I go downstairs and one of the first things I do in the morning is check my mail so I am greeted by the three things I was grateful for so I can remember them again and feel the joyful wash of gratitude.

I think letting go of the bad and highlighting the good both go a long way toward self-compassion. I would prefer not to have a little fire but I love the physical motion of blowing out the candle. It feels like letting go. It feels like an ending. And I want it to feel that way. That’s what rituals do for you. They create the clearing you need so you can make space for new things.

I’ve only been doing this for a few days but I do feel its magic and so I wanted to document for myself and also share with you in case it might be something that works for you, too. If you have other ways of clearing the space and welcoming the next day from scratch, I’d love to know them so I hope you share.

In the meantime, I am taking this very small step to being more present. Letting go of each day and allowing myself to welcome the new day fresh and open.

And welcoming the possibilities.

Daily Sketching – Week 85

Here are the sketches from last week.

that’s it for this week.

Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my sketching journey here.

One Little Word – October and November

Since I didn’t post this morning and I am about to leave for class, I figured I’ll post more of my One Little Word pages.

Here’s October:

and November:

there we go. Just one more month left.

Letters with Nathaniel – R

Here’s R:

Like each time, we talked about each of the words and then differentiated between capitals and lowercase. Then we colored all the letters.

It was way too dark to take photos of Nathaniel while he was working this time.

Yey! Nathaniel is still loving this project!

Letters with Nathaniel is a weekly project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Weekly Diary – November 24 2012

Here are some snapshots from our week:

the kids were home all week. So there was a lot of pajama-wearing. And wii playing.

and lego playing.

with long involved projects.

watching squirrels in the backyard.

we had a quiet thanksgiving dinner, just the four of us.

a lot of whole foods and yummy rice and rolls.

and then we put up the christmas tree.

David helped a lot.

and so did Nathaniel.

the boys were happy during photo time (nathaniel’s been having a runny nose and so a lot of red around his nose and mouth.)

they laughed and laughed.

we talked about what we loved.

and hugged.

and even tickled a bit.

and here we go. i hope your week was lovely, too. happy thanksgiving.

Weekly Diary is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Journey into Collage – Week 47

this was for My Mind’s Eye.

text reads: summer or winter, make a point to celebrate your life in all its seasons.

Journey into Collage is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Art Journaling – Week 30

And here’s the next page:

The full text reads: today life is beautiful. celebrate. rejoice. love.

More coming next week.

I am creating art journaling pages each week for now. You can read more about this project here. This set uses the Fabriano Roma papers.

The Savor Project – Week 45

And here’s the next spread :

this week’s shots are extra blurry, i just couldn’t get them right for some reason.

here’s a closer up of the left side:

this page is all about halloween. nathaniel’s pumpkin at school, the neighborhood shot and the kids and their costumes.

And here’s the right side:

Here it’s Jake presenting at a conference and then all of us at the pumpkin patch.

Art along the bottom as usual.

Another great week. Happy Savoring.

The Savor Project was supposed to be a weekly project for 2012. You can read about my setup here.

A Book a Week – Shadow and Bone

Shadow and Bone is not a typical book for me. It’s a science fiction/fantasy with a focus on the fantasy part. I don’t read those generally.

But I’ve made some exceptions, like Graceling and Fire and a few others. This book, too, has a female protagonist. And I really enjoyed it. So much so that I read the whole book in one day. It’s my kind of book. Well-developed characters, interesting plot, fast pace.

I’m glad I read it and I look forward to more from this author.

Daily Sketching – Week 84

Here are the sketches from last week. apparently still not in my groove.

that’s it for this week.

Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my sketching journey here.

The greatest joy of life comes from the smallest moments

This is a layout I made for My Mind’s Eye.

And the journaling says:
One of the greatest joys of having kids is watching them delight in the smallest moments. Like when Nathaniel found this little toy bucket and sat in it. You thought it was the funniest thing my sweet boy. And when daddy pushed you around you laughed with so much joy (until it was David’s turn of course.) Seeing you two have the best time with the simplest things is a daily reminder to me that I should be grateful for the smallest things in my life, too. There are the moments when we cherish life. Thank you for reminding me what matters most. I am so deeply grateful for the two of you and I love you with all my heart.

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