karenika

Weekly Diary – October 6 2012

Here are some snapshots from our week:

We had a friend over last weekend with her two boys and all six of us painted.

It was really fun.

Here’s what my friend and her boys made.

Jake got the boys this unusual toy and they’ve been having a ton of fun with it.

school shut down this week for three days due to a burst pipe so the kids spent a lot of time playing with waterguns.

yey for California weather.

David got his first real snail mail from his grandmother.

and then it was family photo time.

as I tested the focus, the boys were horsing around so I yelled and I got these faces.

one nice one.

and laughter.

we yelled “we love gold bug!” Nathaniel yelled but not David.

and then David had one but not Nathaniel.

finally we got something they would both “love.”

Nathaniel was really into it and we couldn’t help laugh.

and then he got even more into it!

and we ended with tickle time, of course.

and here we go. i hope your week was lovely, too.

Weekly Diary is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Journey into Collage – Week 40

One more assignment for My Mind’s Eye.

The title says: be who you are.

Journey into Collage is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Sorry about not updating last night. I was watching the Presidential Debate and then I went to sleep. I feel like I don’t have much to say lately. Partly cause I am quite exhausted mentally, partly cause when the day’s over, I just want to veg in front of the TV or curl into bed with a good book. So between my Monday night class and the long days, thought-updates have been infrequent. I expect that will change at some point.

In the meantime, here’s what else is going on:

I’ve begun to think about Christmas already. Starting my December Daily and even bought some train tickets for mid-December already.
I was honored to be on Paperclipping Roundtable yesterday. You can listen here if you’d like.
I am reading about five books simultaneously which I never ever do. Three of them are non-fiction, but still, this is very unlike me and shows my lack of focus lately.
I’ve been trying to make some major decisions and I’ve noticed lately that I just blow everything out of proportion. I don’t like to take the next step unless I know how five steps down the road is going to turn out.
Even sitting down to do art has been a bit of a chore which is saying a lot.
I am still exercising daily (just passed my two-year mark this week.) but it’s been a struggle for the last two months.
I finally booked an appointment to go back to the trainer next week.
Now if I could only fix the food situation, too. And not just me but for the kids, too.
I am in the middle of Unraveling and Brave Girl Art Camp online classes. I love them both but am not dedicating enough time/energy to either. I think 2013 will be a lot more about finishing and redoing the classes I took this year and last year.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my word for 2013. I have a lot of ideas and I keep deciding on one and then changing it up. Savor has served me well and I really love it and don’t want to let go of it. In fairness, I felt the same way about “free” last year this time.
I’ve begun some of my art projects for 2013 already. Just feeling my way and seeing how much I like them. I’ve also been thinking about The Savor Project (my version of PL) and whether and how I will continue with it.
The kids’ school had a pipe burst so school has been closed for two days and will be closed for another two. Then two days on and then 3 days off again. It’s been a blessing not to have to set alarms, get lunches and drive back and forth four times a day. I love having them around, too.
I really wish time would stop for about two weeks so I could catch up on all my TV, books, art and personal projects. Then it can start up again and I can be with people I love and do work all without guilt.
I miss meditating. I keep saying I will do it but each day as I lie down in bed, I realized I didn’t do it again. But I am still listening to Tara Brach and still enjoying every single moment of it.
I am afraid that before I get my new routine down, it will be mid-November and then it will all come undone with holidays and more holidays. Next thing we know it will be 2013. I am not ready yet.

And there you go. A bit of what’s going on here. What’s going on with you?

Art Journaling – Week 23

Here are some more pages I did:

The full text reads: listen to the whispers of your soul. let the lead the way. (I used this beautiful art as a guide.)

Well here we go. More coming next week.

I am creating art journaling pages each week for now. You can read more about this project here. This set uses the Fabriano Roma papers.

The Savor Project – Week 38

And here’s the next spread :

here’s a closer up of the left side:

The first story is about david’s lego quest challenge. And then one about Jake’s birthday and then Nathaniel’s first day of school.

And here’s the right side:

Here is one about a photo of me with my boys, one about David and the puppets he brings home from school. One with the boys laughing and finally one about the Coaching courses I have begun to take in order to get my certification.

Art along the bottom as usual.

Another great week. Happy Savoring.

The Savor Project was supposed to be a weekly project for 2012. You can read about my setup here.

A Book a Week – uglies

I picked up Uglies because it’s really popular and was recommended as “similar” to some of the other young adult books I enjoyed reading. Even though it had some interesting parts, overall, I didn’t like it.

I can’t even really tell you why.

I think I couldn’t get into the story and the characters just didn’t do it for me. I had to force myself to read the book, which I rarely ever do for a young adult novel.

By the very end of it, it had redeemed itself a bit and I even considered possibly reading the sequels but I haven’t.

Maybe some other time.

The Way Out

This is how I’ve been feeling lately: stinky.

One the things Tara Brach talks about in her podcasts is the “small self” and how when we’re so me-centered, or preoccupied or in a rush or worried, etc, we go into our small self. And I feel like I’ve been living there lately. I just feel scattered and tired and consumed with stress. I notice myself stressing and then get mad at myself. Which doesn’t really help.

It’s taking me longer than September to get back into the cycle of things this time around. And I am not being kind to myself about it. I go back and forth between trying to figure out if I should be more stringent with myself or just cut myself some slack. I honestly don’t know the answer this time around.

But I have noticed that I’m spending a lot more time being my small self. Which keeps me preoccupied, thinking about myself and my needs and feeling sorry for myself. And I know, from experience, that this is not productive. I am not at my best when I am being this person. I assume the worst of others. I compound my stress by reading into every single thing I can read into. I embrace the pity.

Which clearly is not the way out.

So I’ve been thinking about the way out today. How do I get out back to the sunshine and blue skies? Because despite the rush of it all and despite the stress, life is good. Life is amazing. My cup is overflowing. I am unwaveringly lucky. Blessed. I really am and I know it deep in my heart.

Alas while the bird’s eye view is bright, the small self gets caught up in the small moments. In the rush of life. And I’ve been feeding it the wrong stuff. Bad food, TV, negative journaling, etc.

I think it was during Soul Restoration II that we made this long list of things that make me feel good. And I’m thinking it’s time to make one of those lists again. Remembering what makes my soul feel good and feeding it some of that. Consistently. Not doing the things “I should” but doing the things “I love.” For me, this doesn’t translate to chocolate and TV (but maybe some of that, too.) It translates to going to see the water. The ocean. The waves. The tall trees. Spending time with my kids without worrying about other items on my todo list. Maybe also making a list of all my worries and burying them. Lightening up the load I’m carrying a bit. My MBSR teacher mentioned scheduling time in my day to worry so when something came up, I’d say “I’m not going to worry about you now, but I’ll schedule that for 2:30.” Maybe I can see if that works.

I’m not sure what will do the trick but I do know I need to start trying to go another direction. Time to shed the small self.

Time to start finding the way out.

Daily Sketching – Week 77

Here are the sketches from last week:

that’s it for this week.

Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my sketching journey here.

Thank you for teaching me the joy of being silly

This is a layout I made for My Mind’s Eye.

And the journaling says:
My sweet boys, I’m not known for being silly. Truth be toldm I am too serious and find silliness, well…silly. But ever since you came into my life I find a lot of joy watching you be silly, especially since you think it’s so funny to be silly. Thank you for letting me see it through your eyes and allowing me to laugh more. I love you so much and appreciate you so much.

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