The full text reads: Remember it’s crucial to take the time to replenish your soul.
I used pan pastels, acrylics and my fun new stencils.
And here’s the next Komtrak page:
I posted this one a few weeks ago for Julie’s stencil hop
The full text reads: Remember to always be true to who you are.
I used acrylics on this page and some pan pastels.
And here’s the next Komtrak page:
The full text reads: You already are what you hope to be.
Quote from a Jewel song. Another one from the Julie stencil hop. I used acrylics on this page and some pan pastels.
And here’s the last Komtrak page:
The full text reads: Don’t hesitate: stand out from the crowd.
Another julie hop one and the last page in my book. This one is all pan pastels and for some reason I didn’t take any detail shots.
Well here we go. I finished another art journal. Here’s the first set:
and the next set:
Here’s a video where I explain the binding and show all the pages.
I am creating multiple art journaling pages a week for now. You can read more about it and the book I am using for these pages at the top of this blog post.
It’s been a while since I read an art book but I decided I had to have Artist Unique when I heard about it. One of the things I struggle with is finding my own voice in art. And I thought this book might help.
And it has. Not a huge amount but it did help me think about what makes someone’s art unique and gave me a lot of ideas about different techniques and types of art to try. It also helped me discover some artists I didn’t know.
And finally it encouraged me to seek my own path. To not worry. And it’s a journey I am happy to take. This one is recommended.
The sketches for this week are all the illustration style I am trying. The jury is still out on whether I like it or not and I definitely don’t feel like I have innate skill. but alas I am going to keep at it for a while.
Sunday (this is an Abigail Halpin sketch. She’s awesome isn’t she?):
Monday:
Tuesday: ( i started to make some notes to myself. Really dislike this one.)
Wednesday: ( i like the colors on this one)
Thursday: (this one, too, I like.)
Friday: (this one is eh.)
And Saturday: (she looked old to me so I gave her gray hair.)
One of the things I’ve often wondered about is how one gets to earn titles. Not the typical ones like “doctor” or “judge” or whatever. I guess maybe it’s labels. Like “artist” or “photographer” or even “programmer.” One simple and obvious answer is: school. When you have a piece of paper from a university saying you’re an art major, I guess you are officially an artist.
But what if you never practice it?
What if I study computer science but don’t write one line of code; am I still a programmer?
Ok, so maybe school, alone, is not the decider. Let’s choose the second most commonly accepted method: making money with it. So if I am making money as a photographer, then am I officially a photographer? Which, of course, brings me to my next question:
How much money?
How much money do I need to make before I qualify as a photographer? Do I have to make a living doing it? What if the amount of money I need to make a living is way higher than you? Is there a particular monetary value that makes the label earned? Or is it about having a certain number of clients? People who pay me to do shoots. If I have more than 20 clients, am I legit?
What about external validation. What if I have an award? What if I had a gallery show? What if there was an article in a major newspaper that mentioned me as an artist? If I talked at a conference. Where’s the special line where I go from being an amateur to earning the label?
I see a lot of signs on Pinterest (or elsewhere) that say “just because you have a camera doesn’t make you a photographer.” Ok, I’ll bite: what does?
Who gets to decide if I am a photographer?
Artist, writer, programmer, trader. It doesn’t matter what the title is, what I want to know is who decides if I earned it? If I self-publish a book, does that count? Am I still a writer?
I’ve learned over time that people’s lines in the sand vary drastically. Some people will not call you a writer unless a major publishing house has put out one of your books while others call you a writer if you’ve written 100 words for the book sitting on your computer.
Who’s right?
That’s the thing. I think no one is more right than anyone else. No one besides me has the right to make declarations on what my qualifications are for a title. If I decide I am a photographer, no one else gets to take that away from me.
Because, you know what: there’s always someone more accomplished than you. If you claim to be a photographer, I can ask you if you’ve published work that looks like Ansel Adams and say that unless you’ve sold thousands of copies of a book published by a notable company, you don’t qualify to call yourself a photographer. Can you dare say I am wrong? As long as the other person gets to make the decision on what “qualifications” you need to earn, they can always move the bar.
You might be setting the bar too high yourself. For example, back when I wrote novels, I used to think that unless Random House published one of my books, it didn’t count. That’s a ridiculous bar. But still, at least it’s my bar. No one else is telling me what I need to do, who I need to be, to call myself whatever title I want.
I think that’s why those signs irritate me so much. It makes it sound like the other person gets to decide what I am. “Who made you the judge” is what I often say out loud when I see them. To me, they are all about making the other person feel small. If I call myself a photographer, does that make you less of one? Only small people think that way. There’s enough room in the world for each of us to call ourselves whatever we want.
So, here’s what I think: if you want to call yourself a photographer. Go for it! Artist. Go for it. Musician. Go for it. No one gets to tell you that you are not.
Each time I read one of those funny, witty blogs, I think to myself “I will never be funny or witty like that.”
I will never write stuff that makes people’s drinks come out of their noses. I will never use sarcasm cleverly and have everyone marvel at my ability to make self-deprecation funny. I will never be able to be cutesy, either. I am not clever (at least not with words.) I am not ironic.
There are many times where I’ve beaten myself up for not being like that. When I wished I could just be funnier so I could be better liked. But here’s what I learned: trying to be something you’re not is like dyeing your hair. You can fake it for a while, but your roots always grow out.
And it’s a lot of work to keep dyeing them, especially if you want them to never show.
Acting differently than what’s authentic to you is possible. I can be more outgoing, funnier, sillier, cuter, more sophisticated and more sarcastic when I want to be. If the desire is strong enough, I can fake it.
But only for a while.
It’s like walking in those new high, high heels you bought. It’s possible but deeply uncomfortable. And when you get home, the first thing you do is take them off, push them aside, and put on some super-comfy socks. (Or, in my case, go barefoot.)
One of the reasons I moved to the United States 18 years ago was to stop having to be something different than I actually am. There’s so much work, shame, and frustration involved with having to be someone else and having to hide who you are.
It’s all about not feeling enough.
While there will always be situations where I have to act slightly different than what might be fully authentic, there’s no reason I need to do this regularly.
I’ve noticed that the biggest reason I feel the need to be something different is to gain the affection and acceptance of others. Whether it be family, friends, acquaintances, or workmates. Or even blog readers and students I’ve never met. If only I were funnier more people would comment. If only I were more fun, I might have more friends. If only I were….
You get my point.
The problem is that this kind of thinking never works out for me. Even if I can be that thing for a while and gather those kinds of friends, I quickly grow to resent them for not liking me just the way I am. I get tired of acting like someone else constantly and either get really mad or start to pull back. Neither of which is a great step forward in a friendship.
Which leaves me with the only (and scariest) option of being me. I’ve often thought that I am too weird to have friends. I’ve never met anyone exactly like me. I can go on and on. But what I’ve learned is that the only relationships that last are the ones built on me being myself. Those heels I coveted often give me blisters and are thrown aside permanently within weeks. The comfy socks…I keep forever.
If nothing else, it’s just so much easier to be me. So much less work. And instead of focusing on what I am not, I can make a bigger effort to see all that I do naturally have to offer. Kindness, thoughtfulness, strength, wisdom, consistency and reflection. I am not saying these are more valuable than the other characteristics. They are just ones that come naturally to me and maybe if I spent some time focusing more on these and less on beating myself up, I might make friends who prefer me just as I am.
David says:
I gave this story two stars because I thought most of the story was too sad and I only added one extra star because the ending was happy.
I didn’t Pellegrino’s story and how she was mean to Edward. But I also didn’t like how Edward was selfish and didn’t love anyone. But after he sat on the bottom of the ocean for a long while, Nellie loved him and he was so happy to out of the water and to be loved. I thought it was funny Nellie thought he was a girl. I got sad when he was dumped in the trash and was thrown off the train. But the worst part was when the little girl died and then when Edward’s head was cracked open.
But then, in the end Edward appreciated being loved and started to love back and have hope again. It was wonderful that Abilene’s daughter found him so he was able to go back home.
Reading a book a week with my six-year-old son David is a weekly project for 2011. You can read more about it here.
jake
Jake spent most of this week helping me out. I had a lot of meetings and commitments this whole week and he was there to cover me again and again. I am grateful for him so very very much everyday but this week my gratitude was even stronger than usual. Between all this running around, he still signed a new client and got a bunch of work done. He’s absolutely amazing.
karen
I had a really full week this week. Book club, coffee appointment, dinner party, and a movie date. Not to mention an event at David’s school and one at Nathaniel’s. Oh, and, a release at work, of course. Normally, just one of these things would be enough to stress me and put me over the edge, but I wasn’t stressed at all, all week. I went to all the events. Enjoyed each of them. Got all my work done and was able to be there for my kids. It was something of a miracle. (That would never have worked out without Jake.)
david
This was David’s last week of school before Thanksgiving Break. He now doesn’t have school for a week. He’s been doing a great job at school. He has a few regular friends and they have formed a club called Mouse Hole Spy Club and they have adventures. He even had a play date this week which, I’m told, went well. (I was at the movies.) He sang during the Thanksgiving chapel at school and enjoyed having me there very much and I really loved being there, too.
nathaniel
Nathaniel also had a good week. Yesterday was his sharing day at school and he brought a little elephant book and while he really doesn’t speak enough to express his thoughts, it was cute to watch him up there and I think he enjoyed the attention and having me at school with him. He is getting more and more demanding and simultaneously cuter and cuter every single day.
Here are some of my favorite captured moments from this week:
Nathaniel super-happy to be back with Daddy:
both of the kids hovering over daddy and watching him play:
Nathaniel looking through his books while I work.
some smiles from the big boy.
Nathaniel writing and drawing. Look at those feet.
focusing hard.
David writing his gratitudes.
Nathaniel looking through the Target catalog.
picking toys.
a smile from the little boy.
and one from the big boy.
we just finished reading the Westing Game and David saw it in the school library and checked it out.
Nathaniel up in front of the class, for sharing.
And finally today’s family shots.
drama and laughter.
and lots of tickling.
And those are some of the moments from our week. It was a special week and I am deeply grateful for it.
As December approaches, I wanted to get ready with my album. My goal this year was to do my version of the Shabby Travel Journals that Mary Ann Moss makes. I signed up for her Remains of the Day class a few months ago, watched the videos and spent a while (much longer than I’d hoped) putting my book together.
Here’s how it looks now. As we get closer to December, I will talk more about some of my decisions and plans this year. I apologize in advance that many of the photos are not 100% clear. My lens is for portrait shots and has a shallow depth of field so it’s not the best to take these kinds of photos. My book has about 80 pages so, after a while, I got bored and just wanted to get it done. 🙂
I also added a movie in the end so you can see it a bit better. Feel free to ask any questions you might have. You are forewarned, there are a LOT of photos in this post:
Here’s the cover. It will likely change a bit but I kept it simple for now.
Here it is without the ribbon:
and the back:
the book has 2 signatures. Each signature has 10 pages that go across so it’s a total of 40 pages per signature and 80 in the whole book. I checked the last 3 years and I average about 75-80 pages each year.
Here’s the first page:
I didn’t put any numbers this year. Wanted to leave it more free form. Some of the pages are photos I took in the previous years. You can see one on the right side of the this next photo.
here are more pages:
here’s one with an overlay. You can’t see it but that’s a pocket so I can put something under the overlay.
and here’s another photo on the left and an overlay flap on the right.
more pages:
middle of the first signature:
more photos and pages:
and the end of the first signature:
beginning of the second signature:
more of the same kinds of pages with photos and overlays:
some of the pages were coming apart due to my bad stitching so I taped them:
middle of second signature:
and more pages:
and here it is on the table:
And here’s the video I promised. I apologize in advance for my yucky computer fan that would not quiet down:
And there you go. I have mixed feelings about this book but I am grateful that I finally got to try to make one of these shabby journals. Let’s see how it works.
We’re almost done with this year and I am, apparently, not going to lose these last bunch of pounds. That’s ok. Since this is a long-haul, I can live with not getting down to the ideal weight this year. In fact, if I did, it might motivate me less next year and I certainly don’t want that. My goal is to keep going. I’ve already increased my run to 2.1 miles for November and plan to go to 2.2 for December, all the way back to the 3.1 miles I was walking. This is a path I don’t plan to stop walking on.
For 2012, I also want to add weights/exercises for more toning and something like pilates/yoga/meditation for being calmer, and stretching my muscles more. I think if I can get a way to do all three, I will have a well-rounded exercises routine and it will help with my stress as well.
As for the food, I bought myself a special plate with Kelly Rae Robert’s art on it. For now, I am staying away from bad decisions and leaving it at that for now. I do plan on fixing it but I am still feeling under the weather and I have no patience or strength to sit and figure it out now. So, as long as I stick to fresh food and proteins, I think I will be ok. At least until I can sit down and figure it out for once and all.
