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I had saved a link to this simple, pretty necklace a while back, way before I knew how to crochet. And then, just after I learned basic crochet Rebecca Sower posted this tutorial so I decided it was time for me to sit and make some. I am not sure why but I wasn’t able to get good photos for these. I first made this one:
And then wanted to make something more subtle and daintier.
I love wearing this one on my wrist.
simple, fun and sweet-looking. Nathaniel loves touching it, too. This week’s craft was simple but meaningful.
This is the Father’s Day card David made for Jake. He picked the colors of the papers and he even laid out the hearts the way he wanted them.
And inside it says: “Happy Father’s Day Daddy. We love you. David & Nathaniel” He wrote it all.
Lovely isn’t it?
Flowers, bugs, animals. Those seem to be my favorite subjects (except for the family of course). Today I woke up before the kids. It was quite amazing. I opened my eyes scared of the silence and tiptoed over to their rooms to find both of them sleeping soundly. I came down and spent a few quiet minutes reading my book. Then David joined me. Nathaniel didn’t wake up until 7:30. A record. While everyone else was sleeping, David and I finished his Father’s Day card and we excitedly waited for Daddy to wake up. Once he came down the stairs, David whipped out the card (photos tomorrow) and presented it proudly. I then made them all breakfast. Daddy wanted eggs with a lot of cheese so that and some blueberries and raspberries is what he got. David got to have a vanilla and oreo yogurt, some toast, and some graham crackers. Nathaniel and I each had one egg, some toast and he had some berries and graham crackers, too.
Wonderful way to start our day. Then Daddy took some alone time while the kids played and I read. I read two books this weekend and loved them both. Love it when that happens. Nathaniel went down for his nap and I told David he could play some more Wii since he was so good. And I kept reading. When Nathaniel woke up, we all went out to lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, Donato. The boys didn’t accomodate me so this was the best shot I got of all three of them.
But I did take some individual ones. One of the big boy with the long lashes.
And one of the little one who just discovered crayons and how good they taste.
And one of the man of the hour.
We ate and laughed and talked and even drew on the table.
After we came home, the boys played some Wii while I finished my book. The minute they took a break, Nathaniel grabbed the remote to attempt his own game.
Dinner, bath, and the boys were in bed. When I leaned over to kiss Nathaniel goodnight, I threw out my back and it’s hurting like crazy. I am praying that a night of sleep will ease the pain so I am headed to bed really soon. I did a little bit of painting and might or might not get to finish my Weekly Gratitude work but I am not worried, I will catch up tomorrow if needed. I’ve already accomplished such a monumental amount this June that I feel really good about it. Oh a few other things I wanted to mention: David has a tooth that’s wobbly. I thought it was too soon but I guess it might be falling out in a month or so. Wow. And my butterfly photo got chosen by Pioneer Woman for group 5 set on bugs which also made my day. I promised my friend Deb that I would send her an email this weekend about my exercise goals and while I’ve sort of been thinking about it, it’s been on the list of things I’ve been postponing doing. I just don’t understand why this has been such a struggle. I wish I could do better. Note to Self: Three Things I’m Grateful For: Two Things David’s Grateful For:
A simple one for me. The journaling is about how Nathaniel always likes to reach for the toys out of his reach and how when we saw how he fell in, we laughed and took a photo before we saved him and how life is sometimes about being happy with what you have and sometimes about reaching for something out of sight.
Great, wonderful day today. I felt happy so much of today. Little boy woke up super early but I hugged and nursed him and did some art while he played and then David joined us, too. Then we all ate and Nathaniel played some more and went down for his nap. I finished my book while David started his Wii day. After Nathaniel woke up, he kept walking up to David and wanting to be with him. David was really gracious despite the interruption to his game. He hugged him back.
And then made funny and angry (which Nathaniel thinks is also funny) faces.
And made him laugh and laugh.
After a while, he decided to finally play alone but of course right in front of the TV. David didn’t even say a word.
He just kept playing.
I did some art, some reading, some more art. I even went to Ikea and I have a few more things tonight before I go to bed. Still feeling good, thankfully. Hope you are, too. Note to Self: Three Things I’m Grateful For: Two Things David’s Grateful For: Here’s what I tackled this week: 9. Draw everyday for a week For as long I can remember, I wished I could draw well. I still do. Watching people draw, this ability seems magical to me. Truly magical. I know it takes practice and time but I truly believe that some people have more inherent talent for it than others. Maybe it’s just a natural ability to see shadows and shapes and lines but either way. I took a Paulette’s portrait class two years ago and even made a painting (two actually) but I have recently been a huge huge fan of Pam Carriker and when I saw that she was offering portrait lessons, I wanted to take it. I told myself that I wasn’t going to paint until I practiced the drawing for a while first. So I decided to draw a face each night and here’s what I made:
The sad thing is that I don’t see any improvement from day to day. None at all. And some days, I regressed quite a bit. But I need to practice a lot more. I think I should draw 100 faces and see if it gets better then. Maybe that will be my next project. Not a bad idea…. In the meantime, I plan to start the rest of her lessons today. The painting ones. I just went and bought my angular brushes yesterday and I am looking forward to playing with paint later today.
Nathaniel has been sleeping slightly later. Not that I want to jinx it by saying it out loud but here we are. Not much but closer to 6 than 5 and it makes a noticeable difference in my mornings. This morning the kids decided to wrestle. With two boys I don’t expect less of course.
And then they were both wiped out.
After Nathaniel’s nap, we went to the art store cause I was supposed to work on my Pam Carriker classes today but I realized I didn’t have any angular brushes. When we came back, David and I worked on his workbook a bit while Nathaniel looked at us longingly.
Then the kids played. I love this cause biting that bottle is something Nathaniel does often and I am glad I captured it.
And he goes through my scrappy drawers too often, too. Taking stuff out, destroying stuff, etc..
And he’s been playing with the doorstops lately again too. Partly cause I have been using the gate so he can’t venture too far.
After they ate and we played, I started working on a piece of art for my brother in law and his wife and the kids played together.
Jake came home early thankfully and fed the kids and did everything while I did my art. I love that. I love him. The kids are tucked safely in bed now and I am going to do a bit more art before I start getting ready for date night. Yey! Note to Self: Oh and, one of the items on my list for 52 Things and for this month is to make items for my etsy shop. I am in need of ideas. Any ideas? Anything you’d like? I’m not sure I’m interested in selling things but I wanted to ask just in case there’s something someone might like to have me make. Three Things I’m Grateful For: Two Things David’s Grateful For:
Journaling Reads: We tried several things like putting a shirt over his pajamas, but it took him a few days to figure out all he had to do was put his arms under the shirt to open the zipper. Or undo the buttons, etc. So finally we bought a video monitor. This way, we could watch him as he hopped in his bed and catch him right as he started to take his clothes off. Not only did that work, but it also meant I got to watch my beautiful little boy while he slept without bothering him. Since then, the video monitor is something I recommend to all new moms and I use it religiously with my little one. I love watching him and knowing that he’s still sleeping even when he sometimes screams. I know he’s safe. I don’t have to go in there to check on him and worry about waking him up each time. This little screen is a part of my day, it comes with me everywhere I go and I am so very thankful for it.
This is one of the photos I snapped while we were on our walk yesterday. Love the colors. Today was a miracle cause Nathaniel slept until 7am. 7am! When we came down, David was already in the living room, playing with his legos. They played while I worked for a bit. Nathaniel is still making sounds and raspberries.
And playing with his blocks, trying to be like his brother.
And hugging him like mad.
He was wearing one of David’s old shirts today. One that his grandma got him. It says Menemsha Blues, Martha’s Vineyard. Instantly covered it with food, of course.
And then he went and gave David some more hugs.
What I love is that David isn’t annoyed one bit. Even if he’s in the middle of something, he stops and hugs him right back. It makes my heart swell.
After the naps and attempted naps and some more playtime and worktime and lunch etc, we decided to take a short trip to Target so David had to finally get out of his pajamas.
We got some groceries, some eggs so we could make banana bread, diapers, a little album for me for my gratitudes, a pair of shoes for Nathaniel (he owns none) and a little blow-up pool for the backyard for Nathaniel, a workbook and a Lego minifigure sticker book for David (which he’s been playing with nonstop since we’ve been home). And now we’re waiting for Nathaniel to finish his dinner so the kids can go to bed and mommy can rest. Mommy needs her rest. Note to Self: Three Things I’m Grateful For: Two Things David’s Grateful For: I’m still in my funk and whenever I get in these funks I seem to think a lot about the same issues that come back over and over to haunt me so I decided writing is a good way to get them out of my system. Here are some things that are on my mind. They are not in order. They may or may not be connected. I am not going to worry about creating a connecting thread. What connects them is that they are all on my mind and in my life right now: – There are several emails I’m waiting for. I sit here and hit refresh on my mail reader a hundred times a minute. I hate to be in this waiting stage. The idea of semi-stopping my life for someone who isn’t even bothering to take the time to respond to a two minute email drives me insane. But then I think about it from the other perspective. Likely, I am not the only one who sent email to this person. I get too many emails to respond to, and likely so do these people. Not to mention, sometimes I like to do things as opposed to respond to email. Or I might have something going on that’s urgent or time-sensitive. Or I could even be procrastinating. I know I don’t always respond timely and, intellectually, I know this person’s lack of response to me is not personal. It’s not about me. But it still drives me insane. – Which also makes me think about how I must be doing that to some other people. Sometimes I save an email and don’t respond for weeks. If I stop to imagine that this person might be feeling exactly how I am feeling now, I shudder. (This is for anyone who might have sent me an email that I didn’t respond to, please email me again. Tell me that you’re waiting. I won’t be angry, I won’t think badly of you, I won’t be annoyed. Please email me and I will respond. Immediately.) I hate that I might be making someone feel the way I am feeling right now. – I was listening to a podcast the other day where the author (orator?) was saying that when she’s writing messages on email or FB or Twitter, she writes and erases and worries about what others might think or say. I have to admit while I generally worry tremendously about what others think of me, I rarely ever edit my words. My blog posts (such as this) are written all in one sitting, one flow, without editing, and often without re-reading (I sometimes check for spelling errors cause my husband makes fun of me.) I just write. For me, this place is generally either to get my thoughts down or to work something out. It’s for me. I appreciate and love the people who come to visit but over the ten years my traffic has changed a lot. If I wrote for the visitors, I would never be able to stay authentic to me and never be able to change, grow, evolve. Not to mention it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting to me to go back and read my posts. Anyhow, all this made me think a lot about Gretchen Rubin’s “Be Gretchen” commandment that I mentioned a while ago. I was reading the other day that if you want your art, your site etc to speak to others, you need to have a focus. Something you’re standing for. And I thought, “what would be mine? What matters to me? What do I want to say?” and the thing I kept coming back to over and over was “be authentic.” Be who you are. What makes this place so amazing is the way we are all different and unique. The way we each have our own perspective. I think the very best thing you can be is you. I truly believe that. Sure, go ahead and improve, and be the best version of you. But still, be you. This is something I work hard on. I try really hard to be authentic to who I am. When I want to do something, I often focus on whether I am doing that for me or for how I want others to think of me, treat me, etc. So if there’s one thing I’d like to stand for, it would be authenticity. (With integrity and genuineness a close second and third.) – I have this cycle where I do something to seek acceptance. I apply for something or email someone or whatever. I don’t get it. I get really really sad. Then I get angry and resentful. I start disliking the person, taking it all personally. It is all about me after all isn’t it? Then I get really frustrated with myself for being so immature. For applying even though the chances of getting it were slim. For not being able to take rejection in stride. For not being more mature. More graceful. More better (as David would say.) I get mad at the person. I get mad at myself. I drive myself absolutely insane. I swear I will never do it again. Time passes. Then it goes away. Then another opportunity shows up and I do the whole thing all over again. An intellectually, I know that the rejection is just one person’s opinion. I know that most of the time it has no long term bearing on my life. It often doesn’t mean anything. I’ve been on the other side of these things and I know how very arbitrary the process is. And SO not personal. So very random. And yet to the person who got rejected, it’s so personal. There are so many stories as to why I wasn’t selected. So many reasons. So many ways to beat myself up. Such a strong need and desire to be accepted. To belong and to be recognized. – The funny thing is, the other side of that coin is bad, too. The ones where I do get accepted. They lose significance pretty quickly. If they chose me, it must have been meaningless. If they like me, they must not know what they’re doing. I always assume the worst. Always worry that this is the moment I will be found out for who I really am. Not bright. Not talented. Not good at it. I vividly remember this one day when my manager’s secretary called me to tell me he wanted to see me. I walked down the steps to his office, the whole time thinking I was getting fired. This was it. I swear that’s all I thought. I walked in and he told me to close the door. My heart was beating loudly. And you know what? I got a bonus. That’s why he wanted to see me. To give me more money. Talk about a twisted, warped sense of self. That day was a big awakening for me. Something I remind myself of often. That people don’t think of you the way you think they do. The way you think of yourself. Fact is, people don’t spend that much time thinking of you at all. But if they do, it’s rarely as negative as your mind makes it to be. This makes me realize what a shame it is to always be thinking so little of myself. Making small of the accomplishments and big of the losses. Stupid. stupid. – One more thing. Despite all this, I still don’t want to stop taking chances. Applying. Trying. Striving. I think that’s the purpose of life. Growth. At least for me. I like aiming for things. Trying out for things. I think it’s a good idea to think really hard about whether I really want that thing before I apply. But if I know I do, then I want to be able to go for it. Not to be afraid of failure or ridicule or whatever. Life’s too short not to take chances. I just want to learn to handle rejection better (and acceptance better too!) There you go. A lot on my mind today. Hitting publish without re-reading this time. (especially since Nathaniel just woke up and is crying in his crib.)  When I saw the photo of these booties a long time ago (I don’t have the source of these particular ones, I am so sorry), I really wished I could make them but I also knew the chances were slim. I am not that proficient a knitter. I have only made scarves before. But this month, when I was making my list, I came upon them again and decided I would try to tackle them. Even as I was putting them on my list, I didn’t think the chances were high. But on they went. With many many many thanks to YouTube and Google, I was able look up anything that stumped me (and there were several instances of that.) but I did manage to make a bootie.
and while it’s far from perfect and a bit super-sized, it’s here and done.
And there’s no way I’m making a second one 🙂 As it turns out, it wasn’t horribly difficult, just very. But I am a slow knitter so it took a long long time. But I did it.
East of Eden was May’s book for one of my book clubs. I had never read it before. Actually, I’d never read a Steinbeck book before. When I first moved to California, I attempted to read Grapes of Wrath but the accents in the book made it really hard for me so I put it down. I’ll admit that I didn’t think I was going to make it through this very large book. But I did. I got the unabridged audio version and alternated between listening while I crafted and reading when I didn’t. I thought it might be hard to transition between reading and listening but it wasn’t hard at all. The audio version was read by the same person who read the recent Feynman book I listened to so it was a great reading (though it felt like Richard Feynman was reading the book to me.) And it took quite a while to finish it but I really did enjoy every single moment. It reminded me a bit of Gabriel Garcia Marquez and One Hundred Years of Solitude in that there were several generations of characters and a long epic story. I enjoyed that book a lot, too. This is one of the reasons I wanted to join a book club, so I can be encouraged to read things I know I’d like. |
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