Weekly Intention: This is a short week since we have Monday off and I am hoping to also take Friday off if I can pull it off. The three days in between are crazy busy and David will be off at another school trip. Nathaniel has a culmination on Thursday so the nights are busy and the days are busy but short. My intention this week is to see if I can spend some time on myself. Just 30 mins of thinking, writing, planning. I want to see if I can do some self-work.
This month’s intention is: Quietly Strong: How can you bring more calm into this month? May is chaotic with lots of endings and transitions. Celebrate but also stay calm. Stay grounded. What will help here? Maybe one last push here before May is over would work.
One way I will stretch this week: I think i will do personal work this week and see what I can move here.
One boundary I will set this week: taking Friday off.
This week, I will focus on pleasing: whatever’s hurting inside of me at the moment.
One new thing I will learn this week: still doing Italian and French.
One area where I will go deeper this week: self-work since i didn’t do it last week.
What do I need to sit with this week? how to shift things.
I am looking forward to: exercising again and journaling.
This week’s challenges: fitting so much in a short week
Top Goals:
- Work: pm summit is ready?!
- Personal: selfwork, exercise, healthier eating
- Family: nathaniel’s culmination, david’s trip, and just spend time with jake
I will focus on my values:
- Love: self-compassion is way overdue here
- Learn: italian+french still
- Peace: peace with whatever’s going on
- Service: to pm summit still + strategy sessions.
- Gratitude: kindsness of friends and my loving husband
This week, I want to remember: summer is almost here.
Stronger Than Before is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
How I got Stronger this week: I spent most of this week feeling jetlagged and going to bed too late and waking up really tired. I didn’t exercise all week until Saturday so net net we’re going to say this wasn’t really a week I got stronger. I did show up at work each day, I took risks, I learned, I tried, I am trying pretty hard daily now. So if those count, we can add this week to the “win” column I guess.
Top Goals Review: the pm summit is finally reasonably organized. here’s to hoping it goes well. i made no plan, i am really too tired. i did spend a lot of time supporting Nathaniel.
I celebrate: I celebrate Nathaniel’s awesome project.
I am grateful for: good news my mom got this week.
Karen’s Points: did the tabata only once this week. will do better next week.
A Change I embraced: this new job has been a journey and i am trying to figure out what’s good and not as good, and it’s constant change for me.
I let go of: most everything this week, too. i spent time hugging my family at night instead.
Core Desired Feelings Check-in:
- Fresh: started refreshing my italian since that’s our next trip.
- Magical: magical to see nathaniel’s project coming together.
- Lighter: not feeling all that light this week
- True: truth is that things are still where they were last week.
Where I chose Joy: had a wonderful hour hanging out with my friend Kelly
I showed up for: Nathaniel this week.
A Mistake I made this week: i am just still feeling down. i need to do the work but i am in a bad part of the cycle so it’s making it harder.
What I tolerated this week: a lot of catching up.
My mood this week was: jetlagged.
I forgive myself for: not exercising, i’ll get back on it
What I love right now: being back home still, i love being home and i really am loving the nicer weather finally.
Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
This week is about Nathaniel’s class trip to Pie Ranch, David’s play in Sense and Sensibility, Google IO and tidbits of life.
I love having these ephemera in the book with my photos
and i love the small stripes of text
Moments from this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
       This was a travel week which means lots of books. I will say I am still in a slump where I don’t really feel like reading and I start a lot of books and stop them.
I picked up First, We Make the Beast Beautiful because Ali mentioned it and I thought it would be an interesting read. It was interesting but also I think I have to read it a few more times.
Blackfish City was an interesting read. I enjoyed it but it was darker than I wanted at that moment.
This Messy Magnificent Life was lovely and I should read more of her.
If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late was a quick read. Interesting and full of tidbits that are helpful.
The Perfect Mother was a different mystery for a change, not about drunk women. It also was honest about how hard it is to be a mom. I really liked that part.
The Girl Who Smiled Beads was sad and empowering at once. It goes to show you that we can overcome so many things in life.
Only Child the best book I read in weeks. It was incredibly sad and very depressing but it was also fantastic. I am glad I read it.
Books I Read this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
David’s class put on 4 different plays last week. Midsummer Night’s Dream. Henry the 5th, some Improv and Sense and Sensibility. David’s third choice was the last one and alas that’s what he got. They put on an 80s version of the play and it was quite lovely.
The best part was all the 80s music they played in between the scenes. 
In a few weeks, they will be going to Ashland and watching professionals put on all these plays. I am so excited that he’ll get to experience that!
Stories from 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018here.
I want to be an optimist.
I want to be the kind of person who can look at my life and know that I am doing my best. And approach things from the perspective of growth and gratitude and putting my best foot forward. And then letting everything else go.
I want to have faith that things will work out.
I want to remember that nothing is really unrecoverable and things work out in the end.
I want to let things go.
I want to just relax.
Yes, that’s it.
I want to just relax.
But alas. I can’t. I won’t. I don’t.
I worry constantly. I am often sad. I am anxious. I think of the worst possible outcomes. When there isn’t much to worry about, I tend to make things up.
And I definitely can’t just relax.
I don’t want to feel any of these things. I don’t thrive on being down so often. I don’t thrive on fearing the worst. I don’t thrive on being worried.
At least I don’t think I do.
But I can’t remember being any other way. This is who I am, this is how I show up in the world. This is what I know.
On my mind this week is the fact that I am so tired of feeling this way all the time. That I want to just be done being this way and instead choose peace. Choose to have faith and choose to lean into that faith. Lean into peace.
If only I knew how.
On My Mind is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
Weekly Intention: This week is reasonably quiet. We will all be home for the first time in a while. I have to go to school once and the doctor once. Jake has surgery at the end of the week and we all have a long weekend. Otherwise, it’s an ordinary week. The last full week of school. My intention this week is to take things slow. I will rest. I will spend time with my family and I will work on healing and making a plan for myself to feel better.
This month’s intention is: Quietly Strong: How can you bring more calm into this month? May is chaotic with lots of endings and transitions. Celebrate but also stay calm. Stay grounded. What will help here? I haven’t been doing a great job here. I am calm on the surface but anxious under it. I am working on it. Not sure why I won’t journal either.
One way I will stretch this week: I will do the best I can with the summit but let it go after that.
One boundary I will set this week: I will rest. I need the sleep and the mental rest even more than that.
This week, I will focus on pleasing: myself.
One new thing I will learn this week: moved on to Italian now since Italy is next.
One area where I will go deeper this week: self-work.
What do I need to sit with this week? how i am feeling.
I am looking forward to: being home, sleeping in my own bed, hugging my family, spending time with jake.
This week’s challenges: jetlag+prep work for summit+friday
Top Goals:
- Work: get pm summit in a good place
- Personal: make a plan
- Family: support nathaniel in his project
I will focus on my values:
- Love: take time to look inward
- Learn: italian
- Peace: peace with where i am
- Service: to pm summit.
- Gratitude: being home
This week, I want to remember: that it doesn’t mean anything. feelings are ephemeral.
Stronger Than Before is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
How I got Stronger this week: This was a tough week. I had a super-long way to Tokyo through Seoul and there was a delay so by the time I got to Tokyo, I was really exhausted. And with the exception of the next day, I woke up between 2:40 and 3:20am every day. I was wiped almost every single night. But of course it was also wonderful. I got to connect with my work mates. I worked out two of the days and we spent one day running around Tokyo and doing drumming. I wasn’t feeling my best so it was tough emotionally either but there were moments of joy and learning and most importantly the actual summit was successful, I think. So net net it was a week of getting stronger. I have one more summit to get through and then I can breathe a little bit.
Top Goals Review: the pm summit is still making progress. tokyo summit went well. do tabata twice. did not journal. ate so so, rested a lot but not successfully. chatted daily, came home 🙂
I celebrate: I celebrate being back home with my family.
I am grateful for: a reasonably successful summit.
Karen’s Points: still doing the tabata.
A Change I embraced: tokyo, food, hours, feeling off.
I let go of: trying to do everything. i slept and rested and did work i needed to do but not much more.
Core Desired Feelings Check-in:
- Fresh: i tried some japanese food which is a big deal for me.
- Magical: magical to be in tokyo again after all those years.
- Lighter: lighter now that i am back from the trip
- True: truth is that i am still tired and all the other feelings i mentioned yesterday. i am off but i will work on it. i don’t want to feel this way.
Where I chose Joy: Jake’s hugs when I got in, Nathaniel’s hugs when he got off the bu, and seeing David back from his trip were the highlights of my week.
I showed up for: work this week.
A Mistake I made this week: i overworried, i yelled at my son for biting his nails, i need to work on myself.
What I tolerated this week: exhaustion.
My mood this week was: down.
I forgive myself for: feeling off. it’s going to be ok.
What I love right now: being back home.
Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
This week is about the Tech Challenge, Nathaniel’s birthday party, and a few more photos from Sydney.
David and his team. And his wonderful photography, too.
a few shots from Sydney. Love looking at all of these 🙂
Moments from this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
  
Only a few books this week. I listened to more music than usual and just didn’t find a book I was very into.
I liked Look Alive out There more than i thought i would. She’s funny. Some of the essays are amusing, others didn’t really speak to me but I am glad I read it.
My Oxford Year was totally meh. Tried to be a Jojo Moyes but wasn’t successful in my humble opinion.
Everybody Lies was a fascinating read and I really liked it. It made me think a lot and started some great conversations.
Books I Read this Week 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
Nathaniel’s class went away for their first sleepover camp this week. They went to pie ranch which was just an hour or so away.
He was super excited to go.
He loves spending time with his friends.
So this is a situation where he thrives.
here are a few photos he took while he was there.
love the sign. love the goat.
love that he took a photo of this rumi quote!
they did farm chores, ate pie and spent a lot of time running around.
so grateful for these magical experiences, and so grateful he’s back safe.
Stories from 2018 is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018here.
I get hung up on the smallest things sometimes. Details that really don’t matter in the scheme of life. Details that nag at me and cause me to be my ungenerous self and yet I can’t let go. They poke at me. They scream inside my head.
This happened to me earlier this week when something really small happened and I just couldn’t let it go and I got really upset and then really angry and then I felt really ashamed of my behavior and got really, really sad. This is what Tara Brach calls the second arrow of self-judgement. Where I am feeling the pain and then I hurt myself more by judging myself on top of it. And the whole time I was still having trouble letting go of the little thing and that only added to my shame. I want to be a better person that that. I want to be able to remind myself what matters most and I want that to override all the other worries.
I don’t know how to do this.
On good days, I can remember what matters. I can remember to be my best self. I can remember to be kind and generous and loving. But in these moments, I am so triggered that it almost doesn’t matter what else is going on. Everything is filtered through the narrow, negative lens of what’s going on in my head. My heart is tiny. My thoughts are spinning, leaving no room for anything. Especially no room for being present. Being able to see what’s actually happening in this moment.
This is also what makes me yell when I don’t want to. This is what is happening each time I do something I later regret. I am not remembering what matters most. I am not remembering that I care more about loving kindness than I care about anything else. I know deep down in my heart that I want to love and be loved and honestly it’s all I want. It’s something that can’t be replaced by any belonging or work recognition. I don’t want to look good, i want to be good and do good, especially for those whom I love but honestly for everyone. I want to be able to be kind all the time. I want to be able to remind myself that I care more about this than anything else.
Always.
But I struggle. And I don’t know the trick. How do I make sure to channel that in those moments where I am triggered. How can I quiet the voices inside down quickly and swiftly so I can remember?
That’s what’s on my mind this week. I haven’t figured it out. Still pondering.
On My Mind is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.
|
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
|
