karenika

Weekly Diary – February 23 2013

Here are some snapshots from our week:

singing happy birthday to my sister. I love you so much Yona!!

we went to foothill park on friday.

i tried several times

but just got a bunch of funny shots of my boys.

the boys fed the ducks.

watched the water.

and little boy joined in, too, of course.

i loved seeing them together.

the next day we went hiking.

they walked together which meant so did Jake and I, it was really nice.

David liked climbing around.

and carrying a big stick.

Nathaniel just liked running around.

i love him so.

i tried to get them to pose. but they wanted to make funny faces.

i just kept taking shots anyway.

i caught this special moment.

and then it was family photos.

which is consistently full of laughter lately.

best moments of my week.

and here we go. so grateful for my life. i hope your week was lovely, too.

Weekly Diary is a project for 2013. You can read more about it here.

SixBySix – Week 8

Before this week’s art here’s the important reminder: Please remember, this is personal and hand-made and thus imperfect. If you want perfect art, do not buy mine. Also one more reminder that these are pretty small. 5.5inches by 5.5inches. That’s about 14×14 centimeters). You will just get the original piece of watercolor paper with my art and signature in the back. No mounting, no frame. I don’t want to misrepresent anything. I will put a paypal button under each (you can pay with credit card or paypal.) the button doesn’t update so you will have to click through to see if it’s sold out. I will try to update them as quickly as I can and remove the button if it’s gone, but just in case. Each piece will be $35. That’s US dollars. If you have questions please leave a comment and I will reply as fast as I can.

With that here’s this week’s art:

it reads: make a point to nurture your soul.

sold, thank you.

SixBySix is a weekly project for 2013. You can see a detailed post on my goal and other details here.

The Savor Project 2013 – Week 7

and here’s this week:

This week is a spread.

I decided to do a day-in-the-life a few weeks ago. So I took photos, wrote it all up and then put it in my book as a two-pager. Here it is. Nathaniel at school and with his teacher. David sharing his favorite book with the class. Nathaniel playing at home. Family photo. Playing plants vs zombies. And learning to read. An ordinary day in our life. A perfect addition to my book.

See you next week!

The Savor Project is a weekly project for 2013. You can see a detailed post on my goal and other details here.

Sacrifice

On Monday night, Jake and I went to see Beautiful Creatures at the movie theater. There was a scene in the movie where the preacher is talking about sacrifice. I can’t remember the exact words but it was about how we think of sacrifice as giving something up. But how it’s really choosing something the more important/precious thing over something else. (Or at least that’s how I interpreted it.) When I heard this, it struck a chord with me.

There are times in my life where something feels like a sacrifice. Like not eating chocolate or baked goods I might want. Or not getting to sleep in. Even the boundaries I set for myself seem like sacrifice sometimes. And sacrifice seems like such a “burden.” I have to sacrifice, poor me. I’m such a victim. It’s another case where thinking of it as a choice point would allow me freedom and the ability to shift the victim mentality.

Thinking of sacrifice as choosing something over something else makes it feel much less about “giving up” something. Instead, it sounds a lot more like prioritizing. In this perspective, I have power. I am choosing X over Y and I could just as easily choose Y over X (or even Z over A). I am not the poor little girl who has to give something up. I am the powerful, confident person who chooses something more important for myself or others.

I am not a victim and I am not a martyr. I am deciding what matters most.

When I look up sacrifice in the thesaurus, I see abandon, surrender, forfeit, relinquish, resign, etc. Most of these seem to be associated with a lack of power. With giving up or giving in. What if letting go was an act of power?

What I’ve learned over the last few years is that no one story is true. No one perspective is right. No one way is accurate. All of the paths, perspectives and stories are possible and they are all available to me.

So why not choose the resonant one?

The one that makes me feel in control, empowered, and excited.

When I think of sacrifice as choosing something more important over something else, I feel less like a victim. I have the flexibility and control to change my mind. This is a resonant place for me.

So I’m going to go with it.

Gratitude PostCards – Week 8

Here’s this week’s card:

It says: the greatest gift you can give is your company.

This card uses the Birds of a Feather template The Crafter’s Workshop (as well as a few others.) and Tombow markers.

Gratitude PostCards is a weekly project for 2013. You can see a detailed post on my goal and the postcards I use here.

A Book a Week – the birthmarked trilogy

Birthmarked is one of those fantasy books that I normally steer away from. I honestly can’t remember why I picked it up but I am glad I did. I read it really quickly. I enjoyed every minute of it and I almost started the sequel but then I decided to wait until the third one was out, too, read them all in one sitting.

I’m writing this in the summer of 2012 and I know it will be coming out in fall of 2012, so by the time you read this, I might have already read them all.

If you’ve read them, too, let me know what you thought.

edited to add: I have now read the other two and loved those, too. If the subject interests you and you like young adult novels, I can recommend this series.

Being Loved for the Right Reasons

This past weekend, David made me a Valentine’s card out of the blue. It was super-sweet, full of hand-drawn hearts. It was obvious that he spent some time and care on it. When I opened the card, there was a list of all the reasons why he loved me.

The list made me cringe.

My first instinct was that he loved me for “all the wrong reasons.” I had my own ideas about why he should love me, what was good about me in general and specifically as a mom, etc., etc. I felt a strange sense of loss. Like I was doing it all wrong. Raising my kid with all the wrong values. Cause if he knew better, he’d come up with a much more “proper” list of what was great about me.

Yes, I cringe when I read that, too. But I am trying to be honest and pay attention. I’ve learned when I slow down and pay attention to my thoughts/feelings, I can truly understand what’s at the core. And then I can look at it carefully and take it apart. And this is where the learning opportunity lives.

Anyhow, so I paid attention to my thoughts and realized that I wanted to be loved for what I thought was valuable about me. I wanted to be loved the way I wanted.

But, alas, people love us the way they love us.

We don’t get to choose.

We don’t even get to choose why they love us.

A lot of how and why people love us has to do with them. What their perspective is, what they need, what they crave, what need in them we get to fulfill. I know this because this is why I love the people I love. I love them cause of things inside me. I might love someone cause they make me laugh and I am usually somber so I am attracted towards people who make me laugh. Or people who are honest because I have low self-esteem and value those who are upfront so I don’t have to second-guess everything. On and on. The point is the reasons I love them have more to do with me than them. They might think they’re lovable cause they are interesting or creative or whatever. But I love them for reasons of my own.

The same is true for my son. He loves me because of what’s meaningful to him.

And he loves me in the way he knows to love. In the way he can show his love. In the way that resonates with him.

I think, often, we have ideas of what makes us worthy of love and ideas of how someone should show their love. If they do this-and-this that means they love me.

But even if someone doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

After the few minutes of pausing, I looked at my son’s beautiful card and felt a deep sense of gratitude. Not only does my son love me but he wanted to show me why by making a long list. And he took the time to make it. He was creative, kind, generous, and loving. I am so lucky to have him.

And I am so lucky to be loved by him.

2013 Sketching – Week 8

My goal for 2013 is to make three sketches a week. If I make more, great. If I don’t, that’s ok. Trying to keep the pressure low while still encouraging myself to draw.

Here are the ones for this week (not my favorites this time):

that’s it for this week.

Sketching is a weekly project for 2013. You can see a detailed post on my sketching journey here.

Gratitude Journal – Week 7

Here’s this week’s gratitudes and celebrations:

Before:

and here’s what the page looks like with all the gratitudes and celebrations:

There we go. Just another excuse to create art and remember the present that is my life.

Gratitude Journal is a weekly project for 2013. You can see a detailed post on my goal other details here.

David’s Gratitude Postcards – Week 4

here’s this week’s card:

and the back:

there we go.

David’s Gratitude Postcards is a weekly project I am doing with my 8-year-old-son for 2013. You can see a detailed post on our goal other details here.